I watched as Griff leaned in and whispered something to Jaxson. His posture did not change, but something about him caused my heart to speed up and my stomach to do a little flip of apprehension. I could not hear his response, but it was curt. A few brief words, a shake of the head, then a nod, and Griff was vanishing up the hall.
“What was that about?” I asked when I could no longer see his retreating form.
“Nothing. Just a nuisance that needs attending,” he responded with a shrug.
“Should I be concerned?”
“It is nothing that need crease this beautiful face with worry.” He caressed my cheek and brushed his lips against mine. I nearly forgot what we were discussing.
“Ugh.” Duester’s voice came from behind. She walked by and rolled her eyes before disappearing into the dining room. Even though she was gone, I could feel the warmth spreading through my cheeks.
Jaxson took my hand, and with a look that made me forget my embarrassment, he asked, “Would you like to eat in tonight?”
“I think you might be a mind reader.”
Everyone looked up as we entered the kitchen. No one moved, but every eye tracked our movements as we weaved around the stations and headed to the cooler.
“Strawberries?” Jaxson asked holding up a plump, juicy looking piece of fruit. I nodded and my mouth began to water, the smell of it overwhelming my senses. He held up a pear and I closed my eyes, taking in the sweet smell that was stronger than normal. I wondered if being near him was heightening my sense of smell as it did with my taste.
I moved closer to help select the fruit, running a finger along his back as I walked around him. He gave a little shiver and stopped holding up the fruit for inspection and quickly filled a tray.
“What is on the menu tonight, Marcel?” he asked after carefully shutting the cooler door.
“Are you looking for something specific, Sir?” Marcel asked, wiping a hand across his forehead. Beads of sweat reappeared instantly.
“Any finger food?”
He looked immediately relieved. “Oh yes. I have just the thing.” He turned and bent over a small warming box, balancing on his round belly as he pulled out a small tray and held it out to Jaxson.
“Apparently, I am not the only mind reader today,” Jaxson said, turning toward me.
Marcel gave a nervous little laugh.
“Thank you, Marcel. You have made our evening.” I winked at him and he turned the color of an overcooked turkey.
Jaxson gave him a nod of approval before pressing a hand to the wall. He balanced the tray in one hand and helped me through with the other.
Chapter 23
Duester let out a heavy sigh when I entered the control room. I was too nervous to let her get to me today.
Jaxson looked up and smiled. “Ready, Love?”
“I think so.”
Duester made a sound of disgust. I glanced over just in time to catch her rolling her eyes.
“Come, we are making Duester uncomfortable again, Dear.”
Jaxson took my outstretched hand leading me into the hall. He remained close enough that our hips bumped with each step.
“Are you sure you are up to this?” he asked, his lips tickling the hairs next to my ear.
I leaned further toward him. He let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around me. Though my stomach was still in knots, the contact, the warmth of his skin, calmed me.
“Yes, it is Festival. How would it look if I was not there?”
“That does not matter. You are the only thing that matters. I will send Daniella and Finale. It is not the first time they have gone in our stead. No one even notices.”
“You know that is not true. They are our people. We have to be there. They need to know they are important. Besides, Festival is in our honor.”
The first year, when the City was still a village, the elders held a celebration in honor of the Halorans to thank them for delivering their people from the brink of death. It was a celebration full of food and life that became a yearly tradition, honoring the Gods responsible for their salvation.
With the passage of time, Festival has changed from a celebration of the Gods to a reminder of our place in the relationship. Growing up in the City you learned early; it was no longer the Gods we honored at Festival, but those who traded their lives for ours, the Chosen. It was their sacrifice that would be honored on this day.
I was not sure I was ready to face my people, being on either side of the relationship, and Jaxson’s concern whittled away at the little resolve I had. I squared my shoulders and made the decision that I was strong enough.
Jaxson closed his eyes and leaned into my hand as I touched his cheek. “If it gets to be too much, you will tell me?”
I nodded and we joined Griff, Orson and a small army of guards awaiting orders just outside the entrance of the ship.
There would be no discreet entrance for us today. Jaxson held my hand to steady me as I stepped onto the pedestal. The last time I was on it, I was too frightened to notice how lavish it was. The interior was the same pearlescent material as the walls of the ship, but in the sunlight, the usually pale purple was a brilliant, shimmering violet color.
I worked my fingers into the soft velvet of the teal bench. The contrast of colors made them seem more vivid, or maybe it was just being outdoors in natural light. Being on the ship for such long stretches sapped the sharpness from life sometimes, made things seem less real.
Jaxson finished giving orders to the guards and turned to look at me. I could not help but wonder what he was thinking as his cheeks pulled up with just a hint of a possible smile.
I patted the bench next to me. “Come, sit. Share your secrets with me.”
He laughed. “Then how would I keep you interested?”
“Oh, you have your ways.”
My breath caught as he sat and placed his hand on my thigh. Griff cleared his throat, and I found myself studying the velvet bench.
Everyone was silent as we got underway. I felt bad watching the guards beside the pedestal, keeping pace on foot. They needed to be mobile in case of an attack, but it still was not easy to accept that so many people should be put out for the sake of my safety, or that there was reason to need such a detail.
“What are you thinking?” Jaxson whispered in my ear. His lips lingered close, brushing strands of my hair, causing a tickle to run down my spine. He was trying to distract me. His breath smelled of fear and Griff’s body was tense standing next to me.
“I am wondering why that guard just broke off?” I asked, turning toward him just in time to catch a glimpse of a second guard disappearing into the trees. Every hair was now on end. My skin felt alert, and at the same time, numb, like every inch was simultaneously being over stimulated.
Jaxson reached for my hand. “Nothing escapes you these days, does it?”
“Are we in danger?”
He shook his head then sighed. “I wish I could tell you no, but you would know I am lying.”
Suddenly, worrying about pretending to be a God in front of my people was more like a carefree indulgence that seemed very childish. Jaxson squeezed my hand, reminding me to breathe. I was overwhelmed with images of him lying dead in my arms. I looked out the window to try and keep him from seeing the tears already welling in my eyes.
“I will not let anything happen to you,” he whispered as he drew me into his arms.
“Who will keep you safe?” I whimpered into his chest.
“Get down!” Griff’s orders rang in my ear. Before I had a chance to react, I was wrenched from Jaxson’s arms and thrown to the floor. Both Jaxson’s and Griff’s bodies covered me, almost blocking out the sounds coming from just outside the pedestal. Too close.
There was a blast that even their bodies pressed against my ears could not block out. The pedestal pitched to the left causing us to tumble into the far bench. Jaxson and Griff were on their feet before I could even comprehend what was happening.
“S
tay down!” they both barked as I tried to lift myself up. Griff ripped something off the wall and I realized it was a sword. Strange that I had not noticed any weapons before, but now I could see there were several along the walls of the pedestal.
Jaxson pulled his dagger from his pant leg and followed Griff out a window.
I scrambled to my feet and peeked out the window. It was chaos. There was a circle of guards around the pedestal, but more of them were running into the woods. It should have been hard to tell anyone apart, but my eyes found Jaxson as if he were the only one there.
“Get her away from here,” he ordered the circle of guards as a fire began spreading toward us.
“No, I will not leave you!” I screamed.
He looked up at me and seemed frozen for a moment. “Go!” he yelled, slapping one of the guards on the back. The guard hooked an arm around the edge of the pedestal and swung up inside, restraining me.
“Let me go!”
He kept his grip tight and pulled me back down to the floor as the pedestal began moving again.
“I am your Keln. You must obey me!” I screamed, but he did not relent. “Please?”
He tucked my head under his chin as I stopped fighting and the tears began to flow.
The pedestal stopped and his body tensed around me. There was shouting coming from all around us. The thought of Jaxson lying dead, or dying, just outside forced a burst of strength to course through my muscles. I broke free of the guards grasp and scrambled toward the entrance.
He tackled me to the ground, but the front opening lay before me. I could see Nathaniel Cooper, a boy that was two years older than me. I sat next to him at the big dinner the night before his celebration last year. He had a nice smile. Now he was running toward the pedestal with a torch in his hand. Guards were running at him from every direction. Everyone was screaming.
My eyes flickered from Nathaniel’s determined face to Jaxson’s not far behind him. He raised an arm and released his dagger. Nathaniel froze. He turned so that he was facing Jaxson. Nathaniel raised the flaming torch and drew his arm back. The whole world went silent as I realized it was not just a torch he was aiming at Jaxson.
The sounds of my screams were enough to turn Nathaniel’s attention back to me. I struggled to escape the guards hold, but he tightened his grip and rolled so that he was covering my body with his.
Something shiny and silver streaked through the air and Nathaniel’s hand dropped to the ground, still holding his fire bomb. Flames exploded around him, engulfing him. His screams made every inch of my skin ache with the horror of what I was witnessing.
I saw Jaxson through the orange glow of flames. He raised a sword and mercifully ended Nathaniel’s torment. Too late, the guard reached up and covered my eyes. My muscles all went slack and I lay face down, motionless under the pressure of his body, no fight left in me.
The guard lifted off of me and I looked up to see Griff extending a hand to me.
“You are safe now,” Griff said.
“They are all dead?” I asked, feeling ill. There could have been others I knew. People I cared about. There were times I, myself, considered joining those who resisted. It could have been me out there, if I had not been Chosen.
“Only the one, we never kill unless we absolutely have no other choice.” His voice sounded mournful.
Jaxson launched himself up over the window and was on the floor cradling me before I could take Griff’s hand. My hands searched his body to confirm what I already knew, what I could smell and taste. He was not harmed. I wanted to yell at him for putting himself in danger, but all I could do was hold onto him and cry.
“Are you injured?” He pulled away to look at my face, an expression of panic on his. I shook my head.
“I was so afraid…” I choked out a sob.
“You know I will never let anything happen to you.”
“I was afraid for you,” I said, pulling him closer and pressing my face to his chest. He put his hand against my head and rocked me silently, but I could sense something in his emotions. Surprise maybe?
“Turn us around,” Jaxson ordered.
“Sir, if we go back now. We show those who supported this that they can frighten a God.”
“Look at her, Griff.” Jaxson motioned to me, still curled up in his lap.
“He is right, Jaxson. We have to go. For those who did not support this, but more so to show those who did, that they failed. Otherwise, they will assuredly try again. We have to show them we are strong, but also merciful.”
The rest of the trip was spent in silence. I was trying to get a grip on my emotions before we arrived at Festival. Two conflicting emotions were warring inside me. I worried what would be done to those who planned the attack, but that concern was overshadowed by the realization that came when I saw Nathaniel raise his arm to throw the fire bomb at Jaxson.
That was the only thing that frightened me. I was not afraid watching Nathaniel run toward me with hatred in his eyes. When he turned his attention on Jaxson, what my life would be without him flashed in my mind and I realized I did not want to survive if Jaxson did not.
The outline of the City came into view, stirring the strange mix of loyalties in me.
Chapter 24
There they sat. The thrones I hated my whole life. They were the source of more than one sleepless night before I was Chosen. A recurrent nightmare now brought to fruition. Only things were far different than in my dreams, I was not a prisoner, and the man I was to share the throne with was a man I no longer wanted to live without.
I stepped off the pedestal, taking Jaxson’s hand. There was silence as we walked the long velvet carpet to our thrones. I had seen this tradition enough not to need Anaya’s help; not that she was helping me anymore. We stood and waited for the doors of the courtyard to be closed.
“We are pleased to be joining you for the eight-hundred and first Festival of the Children of the Gods. However, it is with a heavy heart that I cast a shadow of sadness on the festivities this year,” Jaxson called out in a loud voice. Murmuring began in the crowd. Jaxson held up his hand to silence them.
“There was an attempt on your queen’s life this morning. As you can see, she is unharmed. We tried to apprehend the attackers without injuring them. Unfortunately, young Nathaniel Cooper was not so lucky. He was consumed by his own fire.”
There was a gasp from the crowd, but no one said anything. Even I was surprised, not by the news of course but that Jaxson knew Nathaniel’s name. It made me realize just how foolish I was, trying never to be seen by the Halorans. When you have been alive for as long as Jaxson has, knowing he considers the Children his people. He would have watched them all grow up and would know a lot more than just their name.
How much did Jaxson know about me?
The crowd quieted and we took our seats. Several men carried the stage out for the play we put on every year. It was a comedy, making fun of the Choosing. The only time we were allowed to make fun of the Gods.
I tried not to cry out when Lizanne walked across the stage, trying very hard to hide her limp. She had a crown of flowers on her head playing the part of Queen. Lilies. A tribute to me? I bit my lip and tried to look unaffected. I hated to cry and already I had become emotional multiple times.
Niko stood next to Lizanne playing the part of Jaxson. I could not help but laugh as several young boys wearing stilts and black clothing took up places as guards. Several girls and boys lined up in the middle of the stage for the mock Choosing. Every one of them was a close friend of mine.
This was not something we had ever done in the past. Casting was always whoever showed up to practice the first night. This was my fault. I gave them a reason to have hope at my birthday.
Niko walked up and down the short walkway scratching his chin and eyeing each girl. He stopped in front of one and pointed. She started ewing and awing and touching her face as if she were excited. A moment later she pretended to faint and everyone laughed. I tried to laugh
too, but it did not seem quite so funny anymore.
Jaxson gave me a nervous look. I smiled the best, reassuring smile I could. He took my hand and held onto it like he understood what I was feeling. It was like an anchor securing me to him, keeping me from being pulled under by the waves of regret I was feeling.
They cleared the stage away and all the performers came out and stood in a line in front of us. They all bowed together, then bobbed off, still tethered together, seeming in lighter spirits than I imagined the whole time I watched their performance.
“Are you alright?” Jaxson asked as everyone began to file out to their individual booths.
“Yes. Everyone seems to be having fun.”
He looked at me and I could sense he was not buying my answer. He could see through me like no one ever had. It was more than just the scents my Kincha produced. He could read me, sense my every emotion. I knew it must hurt him that I was keeping things from him. However, I could not tell him how hard it was to watch the people I cared for making fun of the ritual that brought me him, but took everything else away. It was a bittersweet exchange.
“Are you ready to leave?” he asked finally, giving up his scrutiny.
I tried to look shocked. “And miss the booths? Never!” I feigned horror, though honestly I was really looking forward to seeing what everyone had prepared this year. Some people spent all year working on their booths. It was all very secretive until the day of Festival.
The games never disappointed, and the craftsmanship displayed for barter, or for selection by the Gods was incredible.
It was the food, though, that really had my hopes up. It was unbearably good, though after the food on the ship, I worried it would not seem as fantastic. This was the first year I would be able to sample the pork, and I had waited my whole life to try it. If I could only do one thing at Festival this year, that was going to be it.
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