Gabe

by M. Malone

  It's bad enough that all of my brothers have to be on guard against whatever underhanded dealings my father has in the works. But Tank and Finn are ex-military so I know they can handle themselves. Zack is street smart just like I am and I definitely don't have to worry about Luke. He's managed to erase almost all evidence of his existence online. The kid probably has several alternate identities ready to go in case things go south.

  "Where were you when I called?" Luke is watching me curiously now. I realize that I've just been sitting here in a daze, not talking but just staring off into space.

  Suddenly he grins. "Your mouth is all swollen. I know that look. Damn man, sorry if I interrupted you while you were busy. Or getting busy."

  I laugh at his childish glee. "Get your mind out of the gutter. I was at Finn and Rissa's engagement party. I might have been … busy afterward but it's nothing serious. It can't be anything serious. She deserves better than a guy like me."

  I have no doubt that Luke already knows about me. He's probably looked into all of us. Tank already admitted that he did the same. There are few secrets amongst us now, which is for the best. I'm tired of hiding.

  “But you've cleaned up. So what's the problem?" Luke asks.

  "There's no problem. I just don't want her anywhere near my messy life. Whatever this shit is with Max, it can't end well. I can't drag her into this."

  Luke nods and luckily lets the subject drop. As I finish my beer, a comfortable silence descends until he starts talking, hesitantly, about the software he’s working on. He’s been doing his best to stay away from this entire situation with Max but between my request for help and Finn’s insistence on visiting him every few days, I can tell he’s starting to accept that we’re going to be a part of his life. And that it might not be such a bad thing.

  Half an hour later as I walk out into the cool night air, my senses are on high alert. Talking about the situation with Luke has only reinvigorated my earlier fears. Max could be running from someone. Or he could be someone that others run from. The uncertainty has me looking over my shoulder. Just thinking about it gives me that creepy feeling you get from being watched.

  Before I can talk myself out of it, my phone is in my hand and I’m dialing a number that I haven’t used in a long time. Cole answers on the first ring.

  “Wow. Gabe Marshall. It’s been a long time.”

  His gravelly voice still sounds the same, like he’s been sucking on cigarettes since birth. My relationship with Cole is complicated. Zack hates him and blames him for teaching me how to find trouble at a young and impressionable age. But there are so many things my brother doesn’t know. It’s true that Cole corrupted me but in many ways he saved me, too.

  “Yeah it has. I need a favor.”

  He chuckles. “I know what that means. Give me the info.”

  Cole is mainly known for boosting cars but he’s also like an information network. He knows everyone who knows everyone. Anyone on the wrong side of the law operating in the southern Virginia area will be on his radar. After giving him a quick description of the scarred guy I saw outside Max’s hotel, he’s silent for a minute.

  “I’m on it. What have you been up to kid? You looking for work?”

  In Cole’s world, my world, looking for work can only mean one thing. He’s putting together a job and he’s looking for players. For one illicit moment, I feel that old excitement, that anticipation. Then I ruthlessly squash it.

  “Nah, I’m out of the life.”

  He chuckles. “No one is ever really out of the life, kid. Call me if you change your mind.”

  I force myself to walk to my car, ignoring the urge to check behind me again. This is the reason I decided to go straight. No more shadows around each corner. No more worries about who might be coming after me. I'm done with all that and I won't let Max's troubles drag me back in.

  But as I slide behind the wheel of my car, Cole’s words echo around my head.

  No one is ever really out of the life.

  chapter five

  SASHA

  Things have a way of looking different in the morning. So when I wake up on Saturday, I decide it's time to get proactive. Ever since my epic fail on national television, I've been in survival mode. Planning the grand opening of the club has kept my mind off of things but now that there might not be a club, it's time to stop licking my wounds and get serious. I need to find a source of funding fast.

  Gabe's words come back to me. I know that he's trouble but he was right about one thing. I can't allow each failure to take me out of the game. Failing at things is a side effect of living life. Maybe singing isn't going to be my career and that hurts, but there are so many other dreams that I have. Opening this club will be a manifestation of a dream I've had ever since I was a kid.

  After a quick shower, I review my schedule for the day. After the blistering safety lecture I got from Eli when he found out that I was conducting music lessons from home, I've stopped scheduling new students. Even though I know he's right, I can't help but resent the intrusion. I take a deep breath. If all goes right, I'll be scheduling new students soon in my beautiful new space.

  Thoughts of business remind me of him. I press a hand over my suddenly racing heart, remembering that kiss. Despite his insistence on leaving me sexually frustrated, his advice last night was exactly what I needed. And even though it had been hard to hear in the moment, I actually appreciate his restraint. I don't really want to get involved with anyone right now; I'd just lost my head in the moment. What girl wouldn't with a kiss like that?

  Just because I've sworn off men momentarily doesn't mean I'm dead. Gabe Marshall is exactly the type I usually fall for. Beautiful. Smug.

  Trouble.

  I look at myself in the mirror. "The type of trouble you don't need right now."

  But damn, he was a good kisser.

  Even though it's empty, I decide to spend the day at the club. There's not much I can do without fixtures but just being in the space will inspire me as I go over my massive to-do list for the opening. Plus, Gabe's advice about cutting costs makes me think. A cleaning crew is scheduled to come this week but maybe that's something I can cut. I need to go to the space and see how bad it is. Plus I just want to see it again.

  There's also the added benefit of grabbing breakfast on the way. My handbag is over my arm when I hear the knock.

  I pull open the door, expecting to see my landlady. She sometimes asks me to run errands for her on the weekends. But it's not Mrs. Hanes. My father is standing at the porch railing looking down to the yard.

  "Daddy? What are you doing here?"

  My father has only been to my place a few times. The day I moved in and to bring me some homemade soup from my mom when I wasn't feeling well. I visit my parents often enough that he doesn't need to.

  He pulls me into a hug. "May I come in?"

  "Of course. I'm sorry, I was just surprised." I step back so he can come in.

  He shrugs out of his coat and folds it over his arm. I take it from him gently. "What brings you here so early?"

  He looks around curiously, taking in the bright red color I painted on the walls a few months ago. I've always enjoyed what my dad calls a "lively" sense of style.

  "I had to come. It's about the club." He takes a deep breath and then sits on the couch. He pats the cushion next to him so I put his coat down on the armchair and sit next to him.

  "Dad, I know what this is about. Mom made it pretty clear that she's the one who didn't want to invest in the club anymore. I'm not angry at you."

  My father has always been my biggest fan. I'm completely unashamed to be a daddy's girl. I know that my mom has tried to be supportive of my dreams but it's harder for her because she honestly doesn't understand them. Daddy has always shared my passion for music. He's the one who introduced me to jazz in the first place. When I was growing up, names like Gillespie, Coltrane and Ellington were as familiar to me as any of my relatives.

  "When I figured out w
hat they were doing, I had to get out of there before I said something I'd regret. Your mother and I argued and if there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's to avoid talking when you're angry."

  I pat his hand. "This isn't your battle, Dad. I don't want you and Mom fighting over me."

  He turns and looks at me for a long moment. "I never told you this but I was supposed to be a partner in the club with Tommy when it first opened."

  Tommy Billings, or Uncle Tommy as I'd always known him, was my dad's best friend from high school. He features heavily in all the stories my dad tells about the old days.

  "You were? I didn't know that. All this time you've talked about how much you wished you'd had your own club. What happened?"

  "Charlie happened."

  The story of how my father got swindled out of his life savings by a friend has practically shaped my childhood. My parents almost went bankrupt and my mother had to take on odd jobs to help them get by.

  Silence settles between us and I don't attempt to break it with questions. My dad tells stories in his own time and you can't rush him along.

  "When Tommy first told me he wanted to open a club, I was excited. He had a friend who was ready to go in with us. All we needed was two thousand dollars each. It doesn't sound like much now but back in those times, it was all of my savings. If things had gone wrong, I would have been bankrupt. Then my friend Charlie told me I could double my money by investing in this new company. He told me he'd done it and so had a few of our other friends."

  He rubs his hands over his eyes and the sheen of tears there makes a lump form in my own throat.

  "You didn't know, Dad. He was your friend. Of course you trusted him."

  "I was a fool. Trusting the wrong person cost me everything."

  He lets out a long breath. The sadness on his face finally gets to me so I pull him into a hug. I hate seeing my father like this, broken and ashamed. The same boiling rage I always feel when hearing this story washes over me. I can't understand how people can be so cruel. So twisted. Manipulating people who are trusting is the lowest form of crime, in my opinion. It requires that you have no conscience at all. I'd rather someone stole my things than my dreams and my faith in other people.

  "Well, I know that Uncle Tommy ended up owning the club anyway. Was he mad at you for dropping out?"

  "At first. He called me all kinds of stupid for losing my money to a scam but it was too late. Since I was out, he had to come up with more cash to cover my share. I'm not sure how he did it but somehow he got the money. Things were great for a while but when the club hit hard times, they had to sell it. In the end he moved on and ended up in the glass business. He's happy and has a great life but I know he wonders about what might have been just like I do. Maybe if I'd been invested with him, we could have ridden out the hard times. I don't know." He blows on his hands and rubs them briskly.

  "I'm sure he doesn't blame you, Dad."

  "Maybe. Maybe not. But it's something I'll always wonder about. All your mother thinks about with you girls is getting you to settle down but I don't ever want you to settle. When you get married and have a family, there are sacrifices you'll have to make. I love you girls and I love your mother. You know I do. But it is a sacrifice. Do you understand what I'm telling you, baby girl?"

  He squeezes my hand and his eyes are fixed on mine. I understand then what he's trying to say. The thing he doesn't want to admit out loud. That there's a part of him that will always wonder about what could have been. That he doesn't want that to happen to me.

  "I understand, Daddy. I won't settle. Never again."

  His face breaks into a grin. "Ever since you were a little girl, I always knew that you were going to do things your own way. You've always been independent like that. The others take more after your mother. I love them but they don't have that same wild spirit inside like we do. They can't understand. So don't let them get you down. And definitely don't let them stop you."

  "I won't. I'll just have to find other investors. Although I have to admit that I'm not quite sure how to do that."

  My mind immediately goes back to Gabe and his offer to help me with the forms the day we'd met. He looks like the kind of guy who knows all about business plans and profit and loss statements. He could probably write a business plan in his sleep. Maybe I shouldn't have blown him off so easily.

  I wince remembering how I'd picked him apart the first time we met. He’d been obvious but I shouldn't have ripped into him that way. I'd just been so frustrated and cranky after standing in that long line only to find out that I'd done something wrong. Again.

  But it wasn't his fault he was the embodiment of the type of man that had hurt me in the past. Maybe his offer to look over my forms had been sincere. Since I'm going to be in business, I need to learn how to manage people. How to gauge who's actually sincere and who wants something from me.

  Of course, it's a moot point now because all that happened before he knew who I was. Now that he knows I'm connected to Finn and Tank, he won't come anywhere near me.

  "My business plan is pretty rough. If I'm going to approach other people, I need to step up my game."

  He leans over. "Well you've got one investor right here."

  My heart sinks. Apparently my mom didn't tell him everything that she was going to do. "Mom already said that you guys are pulling your investment completely. I guess she didn't tell you?"

  He stands and retrieves his coat. "I didn't say your mother would be investing with me. I have some money tucked away for a rainy day. Your mother doesn't know all my secrets yet. And I already talked to your Uncle Tommy and he wants to invest too."

  He kisses me on the forehead. "I'll see myself out."

  As I watch him leave, my emotions are in a tailspin. I've gone from excited to devastated to hopeful all in the span of an hour. But overwhelmingly, I feel hopeful.

  I latch on to the feeling with all I have.

  * * * * *

  After the impromptu visit from my father, I sit on the couch and think back over everything he told me. This new information puts a lot of the stories he's told over the years into perspective. By the time I finally leave the house, I realize so much time has passed that my craving for pancakes will have to wait. I'll have to console myself with a cheeseburger instead.

  My landlady, Mrs. Hanes, is on her side of the building watering her plants. Her gray hair is wound up into a high bun and she's only wearing a light sweater despite the cool weather. I'm not sure how she can stand it because as soon as the weather changes I feel like I need to wrap myself up in several layers.

  "I met your father earlier. He fixed the railing." She nods toward the slats in the railing.

  Sure enough, all the slats are in place and nailed in to the banister. One of them came loose last week and was sticking out at an odd angle. I'd tried to push it back into place but I wasn't strong enough and I was scared of cutting myself on one of the nails poking out of the wood.

  "Did he? Well, I'm not surprised. He worries about me."

  She moves a little closer, pouring a stream of water from her can onto the potted begonia near the steps. "He had the tools in his truck. I tell you, they don't make 'em much like that anymore."

  She waves as I walk down the sidewalk toward my car at the end of our drive.

  Despite the cold, it's a nice day to be out. I put down the windows in my car to let in the breeze. I'm not the only one taking advantage of the last tolerable weather before winter hits hard. Several people are on bicycles and I note several mothers out pushing those jogging strollers.

  I love Main Street. It's everything that New Haven has to offer in a nutshell. The picturesque businesses with their trademark red awnings overhanging the sidewalk make for a scenic walk for tourists. The side street that leads to the boardwalk is deserted but I know that it'll be busy by midday.

  Even in the midst of the cool autumn weather, there are always people like me who can't stay away from the water. I moved to
Virginia Beach because it was closer to a lot of the clubs where I used to perform. Plus I just wanted to get a little distance from my parents. I knew my mother would freak out if I moved too far away so I figured thirty minutes was far enough to keep her from showing up unexpectedly but close enough for her not to worry too much. Now that Kay has moved into her new house with Eli, I figured it was finally time for me to think about where I want to be.

  And that's New Haven.

  My new space is in a converted row house on a side street right off the main road. It's in between a vintage clothing boutique and a pastry shop. I take the first available parking space I can and then walk to the building. The sign in the window still says For Lease. I'll be sure to take that down after lunch.

  Glancing back at my car, I decide to leave it parked where it is and just walk over to my favorite retro diner, The Rush. When I push open the door, Miss Doris looks up from behind the counter.

  "Oh well, look who decided to come see me." She cackles out a laugh and comes around the counter.

  I haven't seen her in a while and when she hugs me, her familiar scent of cinnamon and cigarettes washing over me, it feels so familiar. Kay and I used to come here all the time in high school.

  "I just moved back in town and I've been getting settled. I'm staying over on Kent Avenue in one of those converted duplexes. I'm renting from Mrs. Hanes."

  Miss Doris leads me to the counter. "Sure, I know Elaine. Her husband used to work for the gas company back when my Gerald was there. He was a nice guy. Liked the drink though," she whispers.

  I can only shake my head. Now it really feels like old times. I forgot how small this town really is and how there are never really any secrets. Everybody knows your business even if you think you've been discreet. She leaves and comes back with a glass of Coke. It's a small thing but it feels good that she remembers my usual drink order.