Unforgiven

by Delilah Devlin

  She’d used the time to fix a light meal, something that she hoped she’d keep down this time. And she’d thought long and hard about what he’d said. How he’d said it. Maybe Dani was wrong.

  Cutter hadn’t been angry when he’d found out they were going to have a baby, but he also hadn’t been gloating. And there’d been real caring in his gruff voice when he’d asked her what was wrong. Could she really be this in love with the man if he didn’t love her back? Even just a little?

  The knocking sounded again. “Coming,” she called out. She set her face into noncommittal lines and swung the door open. Only it wasn’t Cutter standing on her porch. “Justin, what the hell are you doing here?”

  Justin Cruz’s dark, brooding glance swept over her. A muscle flexed along his jaw, and then his gaze dropped away. “Dani told us everything.”

  Katie firmed her lips. “I still don’t get why you’re here.”

  “I made a mess of things between you and Cutter. I want to make it right.”

  Katie shook her head. “Take care of yourself. Whatever’s between the two of you, you work on that. I’ll take care of my own problems.”

  “Dani said he’s stubborn. That he won’t easily forgive. I could talk to him.”

  “Talk to him?” she scoffed. “If he won’t listen to me, and he’s sleeping with me, why the hell do you think he’ll hear you out?”

  Justin shuffled his feet. “We’re family now. Related by marriage and blood.”

  “You need to leave. He left in a huff. Knowing him, he’ll be back any minute and the last thing I need is for him to find you here again.”

  Justin reached out and covered the hand gripping the edge of the screen door. “We’re here for you, however this works out.”

  Tears stung her eyes and she nodded her head. “Leave. Please?”

  An engine gunned in the distance and both of them turned to see Cutter’s big black truck screaming down the road.

  Her stomach sank. This was so much like that other time, both her and Justin looking guilty as hell and Cutter’s face as dark as a thundercloud as he parked the truck at an angle, blocking Justin’s exit.

  Cutter’s door slammed and he stomped toward them, his gaze slicing from her to Justin, where it stayed.

  Justin held up his hands. “This isn’t whatever you think this looks like.”

  “Oh yeah?” Cutter raised an eyebrow. “What is it then? You hear she’s pregnant and suddenly you give a shit?”

  “Cutter,” Katie broke in. “I asked him to leave.”

  “Katie, you get back in the house. Justin and I are gonna have a chat.”

  However, Cutter was rolling up his sleeves.

  Justin sighed and turned to Katie. “Get inside. Close the door. And keep away from the window.”

  Men. Katie blew out a deep breath. “This is my house. My fucking porch. You two aren’t gonna brawl here. There’s been enough talk. Enough scandal.”

  Justin gripped her shoulders and turned her, pushing her gently through the door.

  “You shouldn’t have done that,” she whispered, catching Cutter’s tightening features.

  “Cutter’s got some things to get off his chest. I’m gonna oblige him.”

  “Fine,” she said, catching the edge of the door, “But if either of you think I’m going to talk to you after this, you’ve got another think comin’.” She closed the door, shutting out the sight of the two men stepping off the porch, and leaned against the door.

  At the first slamming fist, she sobbed and ran for the bathroom to empty her stomach.

  ———

  “I have to say, you’ve got some nerve showin’ up here,” Cutter growled.

  Justin circled him, his fists raised, his expression neutral. “I don’t want to fight you. Truth is, Dani’ll kick my ass for being here.”

  “You shouldn’t have come anywhere near Katie. You fucked her up once; I won’t let you do it again.”

  “About that…”

  Cutter swung, but Justin ducked beneath the blow. “Don’t go there,” Cutter ground out. “Not if you don’t wanna eat dinner through a goddamn straw for the rest of your life.”

  “You’ll have to shut me up first.” Justin ducked again and punched Cutter’s ribs.

  Cutter’s breath left in an agonized grunt. “Quit dancin’ and fight.”

  Justin stepped out of range of Cutter’s furious jabs.

  “I’ve loved Dani since she was a young thing. Never thought I had a chance. Not with you keepin’ watch over her. I knew I wasn’t good enough.”

  “Damn straight.” Cutter barreled in, feinted to the right and slammed Justin’s jaw with his left.

  Justin stepped back and wiped blood from his lip with the back of his hand, stared at the blood and grimaced. “Katie’s fall was my fault from beginning to end. I wanted revenge—against you. Not my proudest moment. And I’m truly sorry.”

  Cutter gritted his teeth. “I don’t want apologies. I want you the fuck out of our lives.”

  Justin’s features darkened. His jaw grew taut. “It’s not happening. Dani’s my wife. She’s gonna have more kids. Some’ll be mine. You have to get past this.”

  “I don’t have to get past a damn thing.” Cutter tightened his fists and crouched lower, determined to end the fight now.

  “Dani wants you in our lives. I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen. If it means letting you use me for a punching bag to get rid of the bile you have stored up, so be it.” Justin dropped his hands by his sides.

  Cutter screwed his face up, rage building. “Put up your fists.”

  Justin took a deep breath which he blew out as he straightened.

  Cutter pulled back his fist, sure Justin would have to protect himself—even if only out of instinct. He swung and struck Justin on the cheek.

  Justin’s head jerked back and he fell like a ragdoll to the ground.

  Cutter kept his arms high, hovering over Justin, hoping he’d open his eyes and get back on his feet. He wasn’t nearly done. Wanted the bastard to fight him like a man.

  Behind him a door creaked and crashed; footsteps raced toward the two men.

  Katie fell to her knees beside Justin and cradled his face between her hands. “Justin, you stupid, stupid man. Open your eyes.”

  Cutter’s hands dropped. His anger bled out as he watched the tears tracking down Katie’s face. He backed away and turned, heading toward his truck.

  “Where do you think you’re going? You have to help me get him inside.”

  Cutter stiffened, but didn’t turn. “I’m done.”

  “You can be done after you help me get him inside. You’re responsible for this. Your sister won’t be happy if he doesn’t wake up.”

  Cutter shut his eyes briefly then faced her. He closed his heart, closed off the emotions boiling inside him. He strode toward them, bent and grabbed Justin’s arm to jerk him upright. Then he pulled him over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry and trailed behind Katie into her house.

  “Put him on the couch.” She reached for the phone. “I’m calling Dani. You go get a wet towel from the kitchen. He’s bleeding all over my couch.”

  Cutter grunted, but did as she said, listening with only half his attention as Katie made the call.

  When he returned with a wet cloth, she took it from him and sat beside Justin and washed his face. “If he doesn’t wake up quick, we’ll have to call an ambulance.”

  Justin’s hand shot up and grabbed her wrist. “Don’t need an ambulance,” he slurred. “Feels like I ran into a goddamn sledgehammer.”

  Katie sighed and placed her hand alongside his undamaged cheek. “What were you thinking, letting him use you like a punching bag?”

  “That I deserved it,” he whispered.

  Katie’s eyes filled, and Cutter turned away from the two of them to gaze out the window. He didn’t like the emotions simmering inside him—shame being the one that climbed to the top. He’d wanted to kill Justin to remove him fr
om his life—from Katie’s and Dani’s lives.

  “I’ll be outside,” he said, and let himself out the front door. He didn’t go far because his legs felt weak, so he sat heavily on the steps. A cold hollow feeling settled in his gut and he started to shake.

  Cutter stared at his hands, at the bruises on his knuckles. He’d wanted to kill Justin. But when the other man had fallen, he’d thought he’d succeeded and he’d felt sick to his stomach.

  For as long as he lived, he’d remember all expression leaving Justin’s face as he fell backward. It surpassed the other memory, the one that had allowed him to nurse his anger, the one that had driven a spike between him and Katie.

  Katie had been wrong. But he hadn’t been blameless either. He’d been remote, pushed her away when she’d needed him to assure her he cared. He’d given Justin the perfect in.

  Justin had been wrong to use Katie for his own pleasure and for revenge against him. But he’d never have had a chance at her if Cutter had treated Katie the way she’d deserved in the first place.

  Remorse surpassed shame, and his shoulders fell. He wouldn’t be surprised if Katie decided he wasn’t fit to have a place in their child’s life. He’d been a hard, cruel bastard.

  Rowe’s truck pulled in behind his. Dani slipped from the cab before Rowe cut the engine. Cutter couldn’t meet her gaze as she raced up the steps and entered the house, but he heard her cry of dismay and winced.

  “You’ve done it now,” Rowe muttered.

  Cutter curled his fingers into fists then dropped them to his knees. “He shouldn’t have been here.”

  “You’re right. But I doubt he came for the reason you think.”

  Cutter hung his head. “How do I make this right?”

  “You really want to?” Rowe’s voice held an edge of anger, but a deeper streak of exasperation. “Or do you want to keep carrying around your anger?”

  “Katie…she won’t marry me.”

  “You thought it had something to do with Justin?”

  “Not really. But when I saw them standing there together. I lost it.”

  Rowe pressed a hand to his shoulder and settled on the step next to him.

  “Congratulations, by the way,” Cutter muttered.

  “Same to you.” Rowe’s gaze swung toward him. “We’re both gonna be fathers. Justin’s gonna be your kid’s uncle. Don’t you think it’s time to let go?”

  Cutter nodded. “I want to.”

  “Can you forgive Katie? Can you get past the fact she cheated? Some men couldn’t.”

  Cutter’s gaze lifted to the wide, cloudless sky. That’s what it all boiled down to—the one thing that he couldn’t seem to get past. If he didn’t figure out how to let go, he’d lose her. And suddenly, he knew he’d be hurt worse if he let her slip away. “I love her. I have to try.”

  “You ever tell her that?”

  “I didn’t know it myself. Not until Justin hit the ground, and I thought I’d killed him. I wanted to take it back. I didn’t want her to look at me like I was some kind of monster. I don’t want to be that man.”

  “Don’t go anywhere. We’ll clear out and give you a chance to talk with Katie.”

  “What do I say? I’ve stopped her cold every time she tried.”

  Rowe squinted as he raised his glance to the sun as it flared at the horizon. Then he aimed a steady glare at Cutter. “You start with ‘I’m sorry’.”

  Cutter nodded and ground his jaw tight, afraid like he’d never been before in his life. Not even when his parents had died and the responsibility for the ranch and raising Dani fell on his shoulders. He’d done his duty then, but this time, he knew happiness would never be his without Katie.

  ———

  Katie watched Justin stumble out of the house, his arm draped over Rowe’s shoulders for support. Dani gave her a worried look.

  “You go on.” Katie picked up the soiled towel and worked at a spot of blood on her sofa, but the more she rubbed, the larger it got. “Dammit.”

  “I’ll replace it,” came a low, growling murmur.

  She didn’t turn toward Cutter, afraid if she did she’d launch herself at him and beat her fists against his chest. “Don’t bother. I don’t want anything from you.”

  “Katie, I’m sorry.”

  “I know. But it’s not enough.”

  “Do you want me to leave?”

  She opened her mouth to tell him yes, but her throat closed. She nodded and kept her face turned so he wouldn’t see the tears leaking down her face.

  A deep sigh sounded behind her, footsteps shuffled toward the door. She waited but Cutter didn’t open it.

  She glanced over her shoulder. His hand was on the knob, his head was bent, his shoulders drooping. She’d never seen Cutter anything but strong and the sight tore at her heart. “Did you really think I wanted him?”

  “No.”

  “Then why?”

  “He hurt us,” he whispered.

  Katie felt a wash of cool relief pass over her. The sorrow in his voice was everything she could have hoped for. Cutter wasn’t cold or withdrawn. And he wasn’t angry anymore. She rose on shaking limbs and walked slowly toward him. When she stood directly behind him, his breath caught.

  Katie lifted her arms and wrapped them around his waist and pressed her cheek against his strong back. “I love you, Cutter Standifer. I’ve only ever loved you.”

  A deep inhalation expanded his chest and belly. “Katie, I can change. I’d like to try.”

  “I don’t need you to change. I just need you to be with me. To not shut me out. I love you, and I won’t ever let you down again.”

  “I can’t promise I won’t. I have a temper.”

  “I won’t give you any reason to lose it again.”

  His hands closed over hers and he squeezed. “I want to marry you; I want to be a good husband, a good father.”

  “You will be. And I’ll marry you. But I have to know…will you ever love me back?”

  Cutter lifted her hands and turned inside her embrace.

  She didn’t know she’d been crying until his thumbs swept the moisture from face. “Look at me, baby.”

  Katie pressed her lips together, blinked away the tears and slowly lifted her face.

  Cutter shook his head and pushed her gently back, then he sank onto one knee and drew one of her hands inside his. “I have to do this thing right. Will you marry me, Katie Grissom? I love you and I want to spend the rest of our lives proving it to you.”

  Katie felt a smile pull at her lips. “I can think of few ways you can start.”

  Cutter blinked and his face lost its fierce tension. When he met her gaze, his eyes shone with tears. “Gimme a list. I’ll start right now.”

  ———

  Cutter thought heaven must be filled with simple pleasures. Katie’s head, nestled on his shoulder as she slept was one of them. He could get used to this, crave it like a drug, make it a habit he’d never want to break. He didn’t for a minute think that all their problems were behind them. He still had peace to make with Dani and her men. Much as it stuck in his craw, he’d do his best to accept Justin within the circle of his family.

  His respect for Justin had grown the moment the man had lowered his fists. Only a man in love would sacrifice so much.

  Katie stirred, her legs nudging his as she stretched. When her eyes opened, he smiled. “You been waitin’ on me to wake up?”

  “Yeah. Wanted to make sure you were rested.”

  She gave him a wicked grin. “Am I gonna need it?”

  Cutter didn’t answer her with words; he rolled with her, stopping when he had her under him. “Take me inside you.”

  “You always know just what to say to get me in the mood.”

  He grunted, pleased she was teasing him again. Cutter slipped his arms beneath her, and cupped her ass. Then he flexed his hips and drove inside her.

  Katie’s breath left her in a harsh gasp.

  “Too fast?”

  �
�Perfect,” she whispered. “You overwhelm me. If you haven’t figured it out. I love that about you.”

  He remembered a time when he’d thought he had to go slow with her, and he grimaced. “Guess I’m a slow learner.”

  “That’s okay. I’m not.” She undulated beneath him, rocking her hips upward to take him deeper. Her legs opened wider, her knees rose and snuggled against his hips.

  “Do I have to be gentle now?”

  “Not for a few more months.”

  “Good,” he growled and plunged inside her. Katie’s warm, wet depths caressed every inch he thrust inside her. “You feel so damn good.”

  Katie nuzzled his shoulder then bit gently into his skin. “When I’m here, you covering me from head to foot, I feel small, really feminine, you know?”

  “Do I scare you?”

  “When your face hardens into granite, yeah you do. Because I know you’re close to losing it. I like that I do that to you.”

  “Baby…baby, fuck,” he chanted, thrusting faster.

  Her legs wrapped around his waist; her feet rested on his buttocks. He liked the weight, liked being locked to her body. Silky liquid slicked his cock as he drove into her again and again.

  Katie’s head turned side to side as her eyelids slid closed. Her mouth opened around a throaty groan.

  Cutter bent and smoothed his lips over the tender skin beneath her jaw then suctioned. She’d have a mark, something she’d scold him for, but anyone looking at her would know she’d been branded.

  Soon enough she’d wear a brand everyone could see in the swell of her belly where their child rested beneath her heart. Warmth filled his chest as he stared down at her, watching the soft color flood her cheeks, the sweat break on her forehead, and her mouth gasp around her labored breaths.

  He pushed up, lifting his chest from hers.

  Katie’s eyes slowly opened and her gaze locked with his. “I want it all, Cutter. Don’t you dare hold back. I’m not fragile.” She placed her hands on his chest and gently raked her nails through his hair.

  Her encouragement was just enough to send him over the edge. He gathered his knees beneath him and increased the speed and depth of his thrusts, hammering toward her core.