His Distraction

by Tanya Gallagher

  Bea frosted a burst of stars onto a cookie shaped like a Christmas ornament. “I’m assuming that text was the same as all the others?”

  Vanessa nodded. “Worse.”

  “Worse because?”

  “Because he brought the cat into it.”

  “Damn.” Bea paused, her pastry bag of frosting hovering over the next cookie. “Want to know what I heard?”

  She eyed her with suspicion. “I don’t know. Do I?”

  “X Enterprises has a new charitable contributions section on their webpage. Apparently, they’re now donating to sex education foundations and other organizations up that alley.”

  Vanessa winced. “And you know this how?”

  “I snooped around online.” Vanessa shot her a warning gaze, and Bea held up her hands. “I have a deep personal interest in seeing you happy. And Jeremy made you really happy.” She pointed a finger at Vanessa. “And no, it wasn’t just the hot sex.”

  Vanessa rolled her eyes. “Are you sure? It could have been temporary insanity due to too many orgasms.”

  “Okay, ew.” Bea wrinkled her nose. “Anyway, I have a theory.”

  Oh boy. Vanessa wanted her cookies with a side of commiseration, not tough love. But Bea had clearly put on her ass-kicking pants when she rolled out of bed this morning.

  “People are like deer,” Bea began.

  Vanessa let out a strangled laugh. “Oh my god, what?”

  “Bear with me. If a deer is crossing a road and sees a car coming, instead of going forward the deer wants to go back where it came from because he thinks it’s safe. But when he goes back, that’s when he gets hit.”

  “Morbid much?”

  Bea shrugged. “When you realize there’s no safety in doing the thing you’ve always done, you can finally leap forward out of the way of danger.”

  Thanks, Therapist Bea.

  Vanessa pinched the bridge of her nose. “So you’re basically telling me to stop repeating my old patterns.”

  “It’s your life, V. I’d just like to see you happy.”

  The shitty part about it was that Bea was right. Vanessa had always pushed people away the second they messed up by being human. And she was just as bad as her mother if she kept jumping away from the people who cared about her. Still, it didn’t change the fact that Jeremy had lied to her about his past with Amy. That he let her keep working with his ex as if there were no problem in the world.

  Her voice wobbled, and the cookie lodged in her throat. “I still left him for a reason, Bea. He’s been lying to me for weeks.” That was the part she didn’t know how to forgive.

  Bea set down her pastry bag and reached for a cookie herself. “I know.” She munched in silence for a minute. Just when Vanessa thought her friend had let it go, Bea leaned forward. “You know, from what you’ve told me about Jeremy, it sounds like he’s gone out of his way to do nice things for you. Good things, even. Maybe he had some reason for doing what he did.”

  Vanessa groaned. She didn’t need Bea to play devil’s advocate. She’d tried to reason it out in her own head enough times. Over and over again she’d landed in the same spot: Jeremy might have cared about her, but he didn’t care enough to keep her from being humiliated. He didn’t care enough to tell the whole truth. And that fine line burned.

  Vanessa phone chimed again. She reached for it like Pavlov’s dog, hoping for some reward.

  Bea rolled her eyes as Vanessa scrolled to the text. “Okay, I understand the value of persistence, but even this is a little much.”

  She gasped. “It’s not Jeremy.” She stared at the screen with wide eyes. “It’s the Chief of Police.”

  Bea froze. “Oh shit.”

  Vanessa shook her head and looked up at her friend with bright eyes. “I’m not in trouble. He wants to interview me for an opening on the Victim Advocacy team at the University.”

  “See? I told you Jeremy would come through.”

  “I thought that chance was gone forever. I thought he was going to hold that name and contact information hostage until I cracked.”

  Bea smiled at her. “Maybe he’s cracking first.”

  “But if this is winning, why does it still hurt so much?”

  “Because you’re not together and you should be.”

  Vanessa blinked back tears. This man. What was she going to do with him?

  The memory of Jeremy in the animal shelter swirled back to her, the words ghosting across her lips. Keep me.

  If only it were that simple.

  Vanessa pocketed her phone and strode toward the front door.

  “What are you doing?” Bea called after her. “Call that dude back! Get the job!”

  “I will,” she promised, reaching for her sneakers. “But first I have places to be.”

  Chapter 48

  Jeremy arrived at the middle school fifteen minutes before the meeting began, hauling a bag full of mats and hurdles and cones across the dusty track to the center island. The sun warmed his shoulders as he arranged the objects in a haphazard path around the grassy infield, but it wasn’t just the heat making him sweaty. Why did the idea of standing in front of ten kids make him more nervous than taking the stage in Vegas in front of thousands of people?

  Because they were sharp young women, that’s why. The training guidebook he’d spent the last week skimming through had told him as much. Just like with Emilia, the potential of getting it wrong loomed large in his mind. He had to say just the right thing to these girls. He had to prove himself to them.

  Jeremy had stumbled upon the GROW website when he’d been doing research for the new committee at X Enterprises, and he’d discovered a new session was about to begin. He had to smooth talk the skeptical woman on the phone just to sign up as a coach, telling her he’d previously volunteered with the organization.

  “I don’t see your name on the list,” the woman had grumbled.

  It looked like Vanessa had bent the rules for him a little, too.

  He had held his breath for the three days it took to run his background check, not because he had done anything wrong, but because he knew all too well that people didn’t always take kindly to his profession. Jeremy knew that what someone did for work didn’t equate to the kind of person they were. Thankfully, the charity organizers seemed to understand that, too.

  Jeremy wiped his palms on the leg of his shorts as the first kids trickled across the track to him. There, in the middle of the group, was Vanessa. She looked beautiful. And furious.

  He raised a hand in greeting and dropped it again at her icy glare.

  So, yeah, he’d asked to be partnered up with her to coach. He’d had a gut feeling she would join this session, and the person on the phone had been nothing but agreeable when Jeremy dropped Vanessa’s name.

  “Oh, she’s one of our best coaches,” the woman had purred.

  “That’s what I hear.”

  Jeremy froze as Vanessa and the girls approached. He knew he had it bad for the woman in front of him, but he didn’t realize quite how bad it really was. He could barely breathe around her, and his whole body felt like the name of that game kids played at Halloween: light as a feather, stiff as a board.

  He needed to get it together, but it was so damn hard when she stood there, hands on her hips, wearing nothing but sneakers and spandex. It was a damn fine view, and—not for the first time—he pictured her naked. He wanted to sink into her body, to feel her come around him one more time. Not because he wanted to take from her, but because he wanted to give her a reason to smile.

  He tore his gaze from Vanessa and motioned for the girls to sit. “Who can tell me one of the most important parts of being a team?” he asked after a round of introductions.

  “Working together!”

  “Listening.”

  “Having the same goal.”

  He nodded after each suggestion. “Those are all great examples. I have one more that I can think of.” He drew his eyes to Vanessa. “Trust.”

  Doubt flic
kered on her face, but he continued. “As a team, we need to be able to trust each other. Now that you’re here, you’re part of a group of new friends. And we’ve got to build up our trust. It doesn’t mean we won’t get it wrong sometimes, that we won’t mess up. But we need to know that we’re here for each other at the end of the day.” Jeremy swept his eyes around the circle. “Can I tell you a secret?”

  The girls nodded, and he leaned in. “The other day I broke my best friend’s trust, and she’s been mad at me ever since. I’m trying to prove that she wasn’t wrong to believe in me in the first place.”

  The kid across the circle from Jeremy shot him a skeptical look. “Your best friend is a girl?”

  He nodded. Over the space of a few weeks, he’d shared as much of himself with Vanessa as he had with anyone. Maybe more. “Of course she is. Girls are awesome. Right?” The girls murmured their agreement.

  “But are you sure she’s not your girlfriend?” another teen asked, folding her skinny arms across her chest.

  “I’d like that more than anything.” He cleared his throat as Vanessa’s lashes fluttered and her lips parted in a gasp. “So back to us. To learn how to trust each other, we’re going to lead each other through the obstacle course.” He held up the bandana and smiled. “Blindfolded.”

  He watched as the girls led each other through the row of hurdles and cones, cheering alongside Vanessa as each pair completed the challenge. Maybe Vanessa was onto something with this volunteer work, especially with this organization. God knows, Jeremy out of anyone could appreciate a strong woman. He’d fallen for one, hadn’t he?

  The final girl returned the blindfold to Jeremy’s hand, and instead of sinking into the grass next to the group, he turned to them with a smile.

  “Okay girls, it’s time for one last round. Me and Miss Vanessa.”

  Beside him, Vanessa stiffened again. She was either going to love him for this or kill him. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” she asked.

  He shot her a cocky smile. “Of course.”

  Jeremy loved the challenging look on Vanessa’s face now just as much as he loved the way her features softened when she gave herself over to him in bed. He loved the way her face scrunched up when she was thinking, and how she spoke extra fast when she was talking about the things she loved.

  He wanted to be one of those things. To have her love him the way he loved her. Fully. Completely.

  He was so far gone, and he didn’t care who knew.

  He turned to the girls for support. “Am I right, girls? Vanessa and I should have a turn.” They cheered their approval, and he shrugged at Vanessa. “Sounds like a yes.”

  Vanessa rolled her eyes and accepted the bandana he handed her.

  Jeremy dropped onto his knees in the grass in front of her, and Vanessa bit that luscious lower lip of hers as she approached. He closed his eyes for her and breathed deep. Vanessa smelled the same, a whiff of sweetness so familiar his knees would have given out if he hadn’t already been on the ground.

  Oh Jesus, he was going to lose it. When he spoke, his voice was thick with tears. “I’m ready for you.”

  Vanessa’s touch sang to him through the darkness of his closed eyes. She was so gentle, so soft. Her fingers trembled over his face, and he leaned his cheek into her palm—just for a minute, just to be held. He was so close to her and yet so far away.

  Vanessa sucked in a deep breath, but she didn’t move away.

  Jeremy turned over his palms and held them up to her. “Okay, Heart. I’m in your hands.”

  Chapter 49

  Vanessa fiddled with the edge of her teacup, looking around the bustling coffee shop as she waited for the Chief of Police to arrive. She’d given herself extra time to drive to the Husky Grind, one of the cafes on the University’s campus, and she’d arrived thirty minutes early. But instead of helping her feel more prepared, the extra time to sit and wait only made her nerves jangle.

  She reached for her phone and dialed Bea with shaking fingers.

  “What’s up, lady?” Bea answered. “Shouldn’t you be talking to the Chief of Police right about now?”

  “I got here early. But I’m freaking out right now.”

  “Deep breaths,” Bea said. “You’ll be fine.”

  “I mean, I know, logically that it makes sense for the Chief of Police to be the one interviewing me. After all, he’s the first line of defense in helping crime victims, and then we’re both there to serve the same people. But why do I feel like I’m about to get into trouble?”

  Bea laughed gently. “Because he’s the Chief of Police.”

  “What am I going to tell him?” Vanessa had spent so much time in the past few years running toward trouble and asking how can I help? but she was starting to think she was only living that mission halfway.

  It was funny—she didn’t have trouble facing difficult situations except when it came to her personal life. Counseling someone who’d just been assaulted? No problem. Seeing the man who’d broken her heart offer himself to her with no expectations? Run for the hills.

  It made her stomach sick with shame, but she hadn’t even stuck around to see the kids depart after Wednesday’s GROW meeting. Every minute she’d stood there, waiting for those kids to get picked up, was an extra minute Jeremy could flash those blue eyes, open that mouth she craved so much, and break her again. He’d wanted to talk, and the second he’d turned to her with his face a mixture of longing and regret, she’d jumped into her car and bailed.

  Love was a disease and heartbreak was the vaccination. One shot of despair and you’d never get sick again.

  Or, if she allowed for a margin of error, it was also possible that heartbreak was the disease and love was the cure. The second scenario was harder to handle. So she just wasn’t going to think about it.

  “You’re going to tell the Chief how awesome you are,” Bea said. “Run through that impressive résumé of yours and let him see how passionate you are about helping other people.”

  Vanessa shredded one of the paper napkins while she skimmed over the printed résumé in front of her. She’d added her role at X Enterprises to the list of jobs. If she’d left it off, it would have been too big of an employment gap to show on her résumé. And anyway, the few months she’d spent working there had been professionally enlightening. She’d learned how to handle sticky customers, how to leverage her smile and her knowledge to get people to buy extra products. Heck, she’d been one of the top-booking salespeople in the company. If only Ramon hadn’t been on paternity leave. He would have been proud.

  “But what if he asks about X Enterprises? What if I have to laugh off the months I spent there?” Vanessa didn’t want to have to make an excuse for her time at Two Union Square. Because even though she’d never dreamed of this life for herself when she thought she was walking into an aerospace company, she loved it now. And she wanted to empower other people to seek their own personal pleasure, too.

  “You don’t have to laugh it off,” Bea said. “You tell him you learned how to help people in a…different…way.”

  Vanessa groaned, and Bea giggled on the other end of the line. “Don’t worry. Anyone who spends time with you knows how amazing you are. Now go kill that interview.”

  Bea hung up, and Vanessa slipped the phone back into her purse. Would the Chief ask what products she had actually sold? The thought of describing them to her potential new boss made her throat run dry, so she took another swallow of her tea. Already the drink was starting to get cold. As she set down the cup with trembling fingers, Vanessa felt a buzz jolt her arm.

  She pursed her lips. Darn. Another call?

  She reached for the phone again, and this time when Jeremy’s name appeared on the screen, a wave of longing rolled through her. She missed him. And today, finally, that was a good enough reason to take the call.

  “Hello?”

  Maybe she’d wanted to torture herself, listening to the rumbling voice of the man she couldn’t let herself have.
Because his voice on the line was so familiar she had to squeeze her eyes shut as he spoke.

  “Vanessa. Where are you?”

  She opened her eyes and blinked at the ceiling. She could not cry. She’d ruin her makeup and throw off her game. She had ten minutes until her potential new boss walked through that door. She needed to focus. And yet she hung on every word.

  “About to meet with the Chief of Police to try to get the job you promised me.” Vanessa made her voice go cool and crisp. It wasn’t hatred, not even close. It was a matter of self-defense.

  Jeremy’s voice scraped through the phone, thick with emotion. “I need you.”

  Vanessa crumpled the napkin in her fist and allowed her fake anger to turn into real anger. This man had a nasty habit of trying to interrupt every good opportunity that came her way. She steeled her voice. “That’s not going to work this time.”

  “That’s not what I mean. I—” Jeremy drew a shuddering breath, and for the first time, she could hear the raw pain in his voice. “I need you,” he repeated. “My mom’s been in an accident.”

  All the fury flagged out of her. “What? What happened?”

  Vanessa pressed a hand to her mouth as Jeremy quickly recounted the details: a car accident, his mom in an ambulance on the way to the emergency room.

  “What hospital?” Vanessa pulled her car keys from her purse. There was self-preservation, and then there was doing the right thing. She could reschedule the job interview. But she only had one chance to do this right.

  “You came.” Jeremy’s voice cracked like he couldn’t quite believe that he was seeing Vanessa walk across the hospital waiting room toward him. But she was here, striding in on trembling legs, her footsteps too loud on the sterile tile floor.

  The sight of Jeremy made Vanessa suck in a deep breath and fight back tears of her own. He looked like a lost little boy, all the control stripped away by one drunk driver and a car that had crumpled like aluminum foil. She wanted to smooth all of that pain away.

  “Of course I came.”