Avoidance

by Kristen Granata

  “Give me it before you break it,” I heard Tanner say.

  “Oh my God, Chase,” Beverly gasped. She was probably seeing the same footage that we were watching in the hospital. “Are you alright? Where are you?”

  “I’m in the hospital with Merritt. Everything is okay,” he reassured.

  “Merritt’s with you?” She and Tanner said in unison.

  Chase laughed as he turned his head to look at me. “She arrived last night. She was just in time to get me and a friend out of the bar after the earthquake hit. I was knocked out, and she saved me.”

  “Jesus Christ! I want you both to come home!” she cried.

  “We will,” he said. “I will call you after the doctor checks me out.”

  “I love the both of you so much.”

  “We love you, too,” I called.

  Chase handed me the phone so that I could call Shelly. I lowered the volume a few notches while it rang, so her shrieking wouldn’t deafen me.

  “Chase? Why are you calling me? Why hasn’t Merritt texted me back? Is everything okay?”

  “I could answer all of those questions if you’d let me get a word in.”

  “Merritt? What’s going on?”

  “There was an earthquake. I’m in the hospital with Chase now. We’re okay.”

  “An earthquake? Holy shit, Merritt! How bad was it? Are you hurt? Is Chase hurt?”

  “I’m fine. Just some cuts and bruises. Chase is waiting to be seen. This place is packed right now.”

  “When are you coming home? There are aftershocks, you know. You guys need to get the hell out of there!”

  “I know. I just wanted to let you know what happened, in case you saw the news. Can you do me a favor?”

  “Anything.”

  “Can you swing by the gym at some point today and just let T.J. know that I’m alright? My phone died.”

  “Of course. Does Chase’s family know?”

  “Yes, he just spoke to them.”

  She blew out a breath of air. “God, Merritt. Why are you always in harm’s way?”

  “I don’t know,” I replied.

  “I love you, Frog.”

  “Love you, Toad.”

  Several minutes later, the doctors called Chase in to do a CAT scan of his skull, and an X-ray of his ribs. He had a concussion, which was expected, but no broken ribs. The cut on his forehead was stitched up, and he was instructed to ice his injuries to help with the swelling.

  We remained in the waiting room, periodically asking for updates on Dave. I lied to the receptionist, telling her that I was his sister. She told me she would let me know when I could see him. I was happy to stay; I felt safe in the hospital, and we didn’t exactly have a place to go back to. Chase nodded off, but I could not fall asleep. My pants were shredded from crawling over broken glass, and blood covered my exposed knees. The nurse was kind enough to give me a bag of ice for my knuckles while I waited. Every body part ached, but I welcomed the pain. It meant I was alive – I had survived, and so had Chase.

  After the sun came up, Chase opened his eyes and smiled sleepily at me. “Have you been watching me sleep this whole time?”

  “I was so worried that you were…” I could not say the word. “I thought I was too late for my second chance.”

  He tucked a curl behind my ear, and stroked my cheek with his thumb. “I would give you a hundred chances.”

  I leaned over in my seat and pressed my lips against his. It had been so long since I felt them. They were even better than I had remembered.

  “Miss Adams?” a nurse called. She smiled when I stood. “He’s awake now. He’ll have some nasty bruising on his head, but he’ll be fine. His shoulder was dislocated, so he’s in a sling. He can go home in a couple of hours.”

  “Oh, thank God,” I breathed.

  “Would you like to see him?”

  “Yes, please.” I held my hand out for Chase to take as he hobbled over to me.

  “I’m so glad you guys are alright,” I murmured as we followed the nurse down the hallway.

  “Our fathers were with us tonight for sure,” he replied.

  I smiled at the thought. “We have two incredible guardian angels watching over us.”

  The nurse led us behind a curtain. Dave was sitting up in bed; his right arm was in a sling and he sported cuts all over the left side of his face. He managed a smile when he saw us.

  “Hey there, sis.”

  “I am so glad you’re okay.” I hugged him gently.

  “You look like shit, Abercrombie.”

  Chase chuckled. “You don’t look too hot, yourself.” He gestured for me to sit in the chair next to Dave’s bed, but I shook my head. He needed to sit more than I did.

  “Thanks to this one, we’re both okay,” Chase said.

  Dave’s face twisted in confusion. “What do you mean?”

  “Merritt was able to get downstairs, break down the door, rescue me, and then drag you out to the ambulance.” He was looking at me with pride in his eyes.

  Dave’s hand reached out for mine. “You came back just in time to save us.”

  I squeezed his hand, tearing up again as I thought about what could have happened had I not flown to California when I did.

  “Your hands!” Dave gasped, turning them over to look at my bloodied knuckles.

  “It’s nothing,” I reassured him. “Do you remember what happened to you?”

  “When the quake happened, the shelves of liquor collapsed. All I remember is trying to dodge the flying bottles. Something knocked me out, and I went down. The doctor said I dislocated my shoulder.”

  I cringed, remembering what it was like to be in a sling similar to his.

  “How bad was the damage?” Dave asked.

  “It was so hard to see in the dark, but beams in the ceiling were falling. That can’t be good structurally.”

  “Did you see Donnie there last night?” Chase asked.

  Dave shook his head.

  My eyes widened, remembering Donnie’s pregnant wife. I thought about Chad, lying there in the midst of the debris; then I thought about Philip, and Brooke. I looked at Chase. “Can you text Philip?”

  “I texted all of the guys while I was waiting to be brought into the examination room.” He shook his head. “No responses yet, but that doesn’t mean anything.”

  “Is there anyone you need us to call?” I asked Dave.

  “I texted my mom when I woke up. She already booked me a flight back home. She’s freaking out. You guys need a ride anywhere?”

  Chase ran his fingers through his hair. “When are you heading to the airport?”

  “As soon as they let me out of here. My flight leaves at noon.”

  Immediately, Chase took out his phone. “I’ll get us the earliest flight I can.”

  My eyebrows shot up. “Back to New York?”

  He was quiet while he tapped on his screen. When he had finished, he looked up at me and smiled. “Done. We leave at two.”

  “You can drive my car,” Dave offered, patting his sling.

  “We’ll have to go back to the apartment to get our things.” A lump formed in my throat as I thought about having to go back there.

  Chase’s fingers intertwined with mine, and he carefully kissed my swollen hand. “We’ll be quick.”

  I bit my bottom lip to keep it from trembling. I didn’t want the boys to see how terrified I was after what had happened. Though their injuries could have been much worse, they were fortunate enough to be knocked unconscious for the duration of the earthquake. I remembered every detail as it ran through my mind on a constant loop. I couldn’t wait to be flying hundreds of miles away from this place.

  Chapter Eighteen: It Hurts But I’ll Live

  In the daylight, we were able to see the full magnitude of the damage that had been done. The street we rode on had cracks running throughout it; one road we passed was soaked with water from the shift in the underground pipes; firefighters attempted to put out a fire i
n one of the buildings we drove by. People walked the streets to capture pictures of what they saw, stepping over the fallen bricks and chunks of cement that lined the sidewalk. If you looked quickly, most of the stores and buildings looked intact. Looking more closely inside, however, looked like a tornado had ripped through each building. The palm trees stood tall and brave amidst the broken city.

  Chase, Dave, and I were quiet as we rolled to a stop. My hands were throbbing, and I was still wearing torn yoga pants. All three of us were filthy, bruised, and cut up. We looked exactly like the natural disaster victims I had always seen on the news; with the exception of a hurricane here and there, New York was a safe place to live. I couldn’t imagine living in a place like this, where something so scary was considered normal. I stared at the bar, my stomach twisting violently. I took a breath before stepping out of Dave’s car.

  We saw Donnie as soon as we walked inside. He looked unscathed, and I hoped his wife looked the same. “It’s good to see you guys,” he said, hugging each of us. He paused after he let me go. “Wait. What are you doing here?”

  “She came back in the nick of time,” Dave said. “She pulled me and Chase out of this mess last night.”

  “How’s Rachel?” I asked.

  “She’s fine. She’s at her mother’s house.” He looked around the bar, heaving a sigh. “This place is a wreck.”

  “How long do you think it will take you to get it up and running again?” Dave asked.

  “It has never been this badly damaged before.” Donnie looked at me. “What does it look like upstairs?”

  “It… it was dark. Everything happened so fast.”

  “I looked up into the stairwell. Shit’s a mess in there. Good thing you got out of there.”

  Chase hugged me to his side. “She was trapped in there for a while.”

  Donnie’s eyes surveyed my appearance. “The door was broken off the hinges.”

  “Yeah. Sorry about that.”

  His eyebrows lifted. “You did that?”

  “She’s one badass bitch.” Dave gave me a wink.

  “We’re going back to New York today,” Chase informed him. “We need to grab our things upstairs.”

  Donnie nodded. “Be careful. I don’t know what’s stable in this place.”

  “Stay down here,” I told Dave. “You don’t need to be climbing the stairs with one arm.”

  Donnie uprighted a nearby stool. “Take a seat, Dee.”

  Chase shook his head as he stared at the mangled door leading to our apartment. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t get to you.”

  “All I care about is that you’re alive.” I stepped over the pile of wood, and entered the stairwell. The beam that blocked the entrance at the top of the stairs had tumbled to the bottom. I climbed over it, and held out my hand for Chase. Slowly and carefully, we ascended up to the apartment.

  “Oh, God,” Chase murmured once inside. His eyes became watery, and I knew he was imagining me being alone in the midst of this destruction.

  I touched his arm. “Don’t think about it. Let’s just get our things and get out of here.”

  He wiped his eyes quickly.

  The bedroom was as big of a mess as the rest of the apartment. The television had fallen off of the wall, and the curtain rod had fallen off the window; the lamp on each nightstand had broken on the floor, and glass was everywhere. I gathered my things, shoving them into my suitcase, and helped Chase pack up his clothes from the dresser and closet. I tossed everything from the bathroom into my luggage, and zippered it shut. Chase and I changed into clean clothes, and then rolled our suitcases to the door.

  Chase stopped to look around one last time. “I’m going to miss this place,” he said aloud.

  “Donnie will fix everything up. I’m sure it will be ready sooner than you think.”

  The wheels were turning in his head, and he did not respond.

  * * *

  Chase slept most of the plane ride home. I, on the other hand, remained awake. I had struggled to sleep after my accident last year, and was used to getting only a couple of broken hours of shut eye. Now having been through yet another traumatic experience, I was prepared for the long, sleepless nights I had ahead of me. Towards the end of the flight I had finally drifted off, but awoke in a panic when we hit the landing strip. I gasped, gripping the armrest between me and Chase.

  “It’s okay, baby,” Chase whispered. “We just landed.”

  I nodded as I steadied my breath. The shaking was something I never wanted to feel again. Seeing Chase on the ground clinging to life was another. I looked into his tired green eyes, and felt so grateful that he had made it out of the earthquake in one piece.

  “What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asked, one corner of his mouth slightly turned up.

  “There’s so much I need to say to you. We never got the chance to talk.”

  He kissed my forehead. “We’ll have plenty of time to talk once we are settled at home.”

  Home. I had a newfound appreciation for Staten Island. I resisted the urge to kiss the ground when we stepped off the plane.

  Shelly and Brody were waiting outside to take us back to Chase’s house. She burst into tears as soon as she saw me.

  “Be gentle,” I warned, holding my arms out to embrace her.

  “It’s all over the news,” she sobbed as she hugged me. “I can’t believe you were in that!”

  “I can’t either,” I said, reaching out for Brody.

  “You’re like a cat,” he said with a grin. “What’s left, seven lives now?”

  “That is so not funny,” Shelly scolded.

  I watched Chase try not to wince as Shelly squeezed his midsection.

  “She’s stronger than she looks,” I said, taking his suitcase from him.

  “Give me that.” Brody took it from my hands. “Get in the car, you two.”

  When we pulled up to the house, Beverly, Tanner, and Khloe were waiting out on the front steps. Beverly held onto Khloe’s arm when she attempted to run to us. She whispered into her ear, most likely reminding her not to jump on us.

  I knelt down and opened my arms wide, signaling to Khloe that it was okay to come to me. She leapt down the stairs, and charged into my arms.

  “Merry!” she screamed.

  “I am so happy to see you, my angel girl!”

  “Me too!” She clung to me like a tiny koala.

  “Hey, save some for me,” Chase called. He sat down on the top step, and I placed her gently into his lap. She did her best not to squeeze him too hard, and kissed his forehead next to his stitches with her tiny lips.

  Tanner bear hugged me. “I’m glad you’re okay, big sis.”

  “So am I,” Beverly said. She took my face into her hands. “Thank you for bringing him home. It’s a miracle that you went there when you did.”

  I wrapped my arms around her, fighting back the tears.

  “You smell, Chasey,” Khloe said pinching her nose in between her fingers. “You need to take a bath.”

  Chase chuckled. “You didn’t say that to Merry. She smells, too.”

  “You tell him I smell like roses.”

  Khloe grinned, showing all of her tiny Tic-Tac teeth. “Merry smells like roses.”

  “Why don’t you two go take a shower, and relax?” Beverly said. “I’m making dinner for us tonight, if you’re up for it.”

  Chase looked at me, and I smiled. “Of course we’ll be up for it.”

  The second we walked inside my apartment, I inhaled the familiar smell of home. “Why don’t you shower first?”

  “Are you sure?” Chase asked. “You can go first if you want.”

  I shook my head. “I’ll get our things settled in here. You go ahead.”

  In my bedroom, I began putting my clothes away. I opened the small box with the necklace Chase had given me for Valentine’s Day inside. Running my finger over it, I silently thanked my father and Tim for watching over us in California. I wondered how many people w
ere not as lucky. I plugged my phone in to charge. When it turned on, a series of texts popped up on the screen. Brooke and Philip were alright, as were the rest of Chase’s bandmates. I felt a wave of relief wash over me, and texted her back.

  When Chase reappeared in the room, I held my phone up. “Brooke texted. Everyone’s fine.”

  His smile spread across his face. “That’s great news.”

  I stood, holding out my knuckles in front of me. “How badly do you think these are going to hurt in the shower on a scale of one to ten?”

  He made a face. “Probably an eight.”

  I walked into the bathroom. “I can take an eight.”

  Though my cuts stung, it felt good to wash the remnants of the earthquake off of my body. I tried to push the scary memory of the actual quake out of my mind, and focus on the important things: everyone we knew had survived, and Chase was home.

  When I returned to the bedroom, Chase was lying on the bed in his boxers with a frozen bag of peas on his ribcage. Purple bruises were sprawled underneath his chest, and down the side of his body. I sat on the edge of the bed beside him in my towel, stroking his arm.

  “How do you feel?”

  “It hurts, but I’ll live.”

  “Thank God for that,” I murmured.

  “Ready for that talk now?” He interlaced his fingers with mine.

  “I have been working through a lot of things over the past two months. I learned a lot working with T.J. He helped me to see that I wasn’t taking responsibility for my actions. I was making choices, and then blaming it on my mother as if she was responsible for all of things that were wrong in my life. Then she told me that she was an alcoholic, and I wasn’t mad at her – I was mad at myself. Without even knowing it, I had done the very same thing that she did. I felt like the world’s biggest piece of shit, and I convinced myself that I wasn’t good enough for you. I was ashamed of the person I had become, and I didn’t understand how you could love me.

  When I saw you with your arm around that girl, and how happy you looked performing, I told myself that you would be better off without me. I had issues; I came with baggage, and I thought I didn’t deserve someone like you. I was spiraling out of control, and I didn’t want to bring you down with me.”