The Fight Within

by Laveen, Tiana

  “You’ve been busy, baby,” the woman said coolly.

  Treasure nodded, looked sheepishly away to stare into her half empty glass of red Moscato.

  “So, as we’ve been talking all of these weeks and you’ve fed me information little by little, here is the rundown I have thus far: His name is Sean, he’s younger than you, he collects trash, he’s a college student, he is funny, fun, flirty, and can probably screw like a champ though the last point you’ve yet to confirm. It’s just a hunch based on the fact that you’re a phone sex slut.”

  Treasure burst out laughing, almost falling out of her seat.

  “Erin! Yeah, that’s pretty much the gist of it. You’d know more if you ever answered your phone!” Treasure chastised.

  “I’ve been out of the country on business! You know you my boo-thang,” she chided, smiling from ear to ear.

  After returning her smile, Treasure looked away into the crowd of people standing around, bobbing their heads to the sounds of Skream belting out, ‘Rollercoaster’.

  “That about sums it up.”

  “I wonder if Quincy knows him.”

  “Why would your husband know him?” Treasure lifted a brow in bewilderment.

  “Because he works with the sanitation department all the time when contract bids come up for new neighborhood zoning. Sometimes they have like town hall meetings, invite the workers and citizens in for their opinions.”

  Treasure nodded in understanding. Quentin worked in neighborhood maintenance and street zoning for Brooklyn, Queens and Manhattan. It made sense.

  “From what you told me, he sounds like he’s cute as hell, too.” A naughty expression sleeked across her friend’s face, all knowing.

  “Cute? Baby, the first time I saw him I couldn’t help but stare, regardless of being mad at his ass. He is tall and built like a goddamn college football linebacker. Muscles all over the damn place…dark hair, beautiful green eyes. When I say green, I mean really green, they just pull you in. His voice is kinda hoarse, like he smokes cigarettes, but he doesn’t. He’s unbelievable. Sexy as hell… If I could throw caution to the wind I would have ridden his face like a bronco weeks ago.”

  Both women remained quiet for a second or two, then burst out laughing simultaneously.

  “Yeah… he sounds amazing.”

  “Erin.” Treasure sighed as she plucked a salty peanut from a half folded napkin and popped it into her mouth. “This man just does something to me and…I love him. That’s a big deal for me; it’s been a process, that’s for sure.”

  “I could see it in your face last week when you picked me up from the airport, Treasure. You are so in love with this man. You used to look like that when you and Jackson were first dating. I’d never seen you look at anyone that way before Jackson, or after, until now.”

  She nodded in agreement. “It scares me a bit too, but I can’t stop, you know? We even got into a fight the other night, but he found a way to bring me right back into his crazy world. He’s just so real, sincere. Even when he says something fucked up, it’s like he is open to hearing another point of view, my point of view. Well, at least now he is, or maybe he always was, I don’t know. Regardless, I’ve never met anyone like him in my entire life, Erin. I’m weak for this fucker. I hate that.”

  “You don’t hate it.” Erin took another leisure puff from her hookah. “You hate that you don’t hate it. He is your opposite, but you two mesh well together and you want him. It doesn’t make sense to you, but that’s the problem.” She paused to sip on her martini, then set it back down. “Women like you and me try to make stuff like this make sense. We are rational. We are similar; that’s why we understand each other so well and have been the best of friends since college. Time and busy schedules, family,” she waved her hand lazily in the air, “have caused us to have gaps in communication, but it doesn’t define our love for one another. We pick up right where we left off, simple as that. The bottom line is this. We forget that underneath all the bullshit, all we want is a man. We want a real, true blue guy to have our damn backs. We want companionship, someone we can depend on and sees us as equals. We want to feel loved and based on what you’ve shared with me, Treasure, it sounds like he fits the bill.”

  Treasure nodded. “I know I’m not imagining this, you know? He really is what I think he is…but my mind keeps playing tricks on me.”

  “No, your mind knows the deal, but your heart still wants protection so they’ve been having meetings behind your back.”

  Treasure burst out laughing.

  “I knew after your last dating disaster, I was finished trying to set you up with guys. I told Quincy that you’d meet the right man, but it would be when you were ready, and not because I pushed you out there. I see I was right.” Erin’s eyes hooded. “Look how beautiful you are tonight, you’re practically glowing. You look gorgeous in that dark green dress clinging to your curves just right…damn near radiant, and he hasn’t even given you the dick yet.”

  They both burst out in obnoxious fits of cackling.

  “I know, right?” Treasure’s laugh tapered as she swung her leg a bit faster, causing her gold and diamond anklet to sparkle as it caught the nearby bar area strobe lights. “Not that I don’t want it, you know, sex with him, but because of how I’m feeling about Sean, I’d get more attached if I go that route with him, Erin. I’ve been stringing this out. I told him it was because I have children and I have to be responsible. Well, that’s just part of it. The other half is that I know that he’s not one of those guys I can just screw and be okay afterward. I’d feel something…something deep, and that kinda worries me. I can have sex and not speak to a man ever again, but I can’t make love and just walk away… I just can’t.” She took a deep breath, exhaling just so as the smoke from Erin’s hookah embraced her in a misty circle.

  “Treasure, this is your life and your timing. You don’t have to rush due to what other people think or say, or submit to the pressure. I get where you’re comin’ from. He’ll wait a bit if he’s the guy for you. How long has it been though?”

  Treasure shot her nosy friend a tilted grin. “About four months I guess…”

  “That long?! Oh shit! I take back what I said! You’ve been dating this joker for four months and haven’t fucked him? Treasure! Shame on you! How can you stand it? Girl, I’d be going crazy.”

  “You act like I said ten years or something! That isn’t that long of a time. I mean, we wait longer to even do a closing on a house sometimes.” She shrugged.

  “You better give that fine man some of that coochie, woman! You’ve lost your mind! You’ll scare him away at this point ’cause as soon as you open your legs, cobwebs and bats ’nd shit will be all over the place. He’ll wonder if it’s Halloween up in that mofo!”

  “Shut up!” Treasure laughed. “Like I said, I want to. I’m working up to it, don’t worry. I can’t last much longer. The phone sex thing isn’t cuttin’ it anymore.”

  “When you do get down to it, I want full details!” The woman counted off her fingers. “I want to know how many inches, because sometimes a camera can be deceiving. Don’t ask me how I know. Anyway, I need to know if he can last, how thick that shit is, can he eat pussy right, the whole damn nine!”

  “Erin, you are nosy and nasty as hell!”

  “And you wouldn’t have me any other way!”

  They both burst out into more laughter as a remixed version of Beyonce’s timeless song, ‘Crazy in Love’ hit the DJ Booth sound system.

  “Ohhhh girl! This classic is dedicated to YOU!” Erin took another puff from her hookah, set it down, and grabbed Treasure off her seat, practically dragging her away to the dance floor.

  They moved together, dancing like two crazy teenagers as they screamed the lyrics, “Your love’s got me goin’ so crazy right now, so craaaazzzzy in loooove! Treasure’s in love, everybody! Woot Woot!”

  ‡

  Chapter Thirteen

  What are you doing? –Sapphire Storm
/>   I’m listening to music. You like the Goo Goo Dolls? –FINDERKEEPER

  Never heard of them. –Sapphire Storm

  What? Are you serious? I disown you, Sapphire Storm. Whip out your good ear and check this out. –FINDERKEEPER

  LOL, I’m sorry! Okay… –Sapphire Storm

  Oh boy, that’s nice. Goo Goo Dolls? –Sapphire Storm

  Yeah, the song is called ‘Iris’. One of my favorites. –FINDERKEEPER

  It’s really nice… We haven’t chatted in weeks… –Sapphire Storm

  I know, I’m sorry. Been busy with school and other stuff. –FINDERKEEPER

  Yeah, my boyfriend is finishing up his schooling, too. –Sapphire Storm

  Boyfriend? That’s the first time you’ve called him that to me. Wow. So this official, huh? –FINDERKEEPER

  LOL, yeah, we’ve been together for a while now. He’s great, FINDERKEEPER. Thanks again. –Sapphire Storm

  Why are you thanking me? I told you, I didn’t do anything. –FINDERKEEPER

  Yes, you did. You helped me keep giving guys a try after all of my dating nightmare tales. You’ve been busy, but still managed to make time for me. I really appreciate that. –Sapphire Storm

  Yeah, well, okay. I think I’m going to break my own rules for a second. I’m taking a chance here, breaking out of my superstitions, but school isn’t the only reason I’ve been missing in action. That woman I told you I met? Well, we’re together in a relationship too now. Things are going really well. –FINDERKEEPER

  Oh that is great! I am so happy for you! –Sapphire Storm

  Looks like our lives are in parallel right now. That’s kinda cool. –FINDERKEEPER

  It is. You know what else? My guy is Irish, just like you! LOL –Sapphire Storm

  Hey, you know a good thing when you see it. LOL. –FINDERKEEPER

  LOL. Yeah, he’s great. FINDERKEEPER, I need to talk to you. I feel bad about something though. –Sapphire Storm

  What’s that? –Sapphire Storm

  You and I’ve been honest with one another, or at least I have, except for one thing. –Sapphire Storm

  I haven’t lied to you about anything. So what did you lie to me about? –FINDERKEEPER

  I feel bad about it now. I lied to you about one thing when we were first chatting online, FINDERKEEPER. –Sapphire Storm

  What? Just tell me. –FINDERKEEPER

  I don’t know why I did it. Well, I guess it was to keep myself somewhat anonymous at the time. You asked me if I’d been married before, and I said no. Truth is, I have been. I just want to come clean because it has been bothering me. It was not a good marriage, very one sided and he was verbally and emotionally abusive to me. –Sapphire Storm

  Hmmmm, I see. Sorry you went through that. Is that the only thing? –FINDERKEEPER

  Yes, that’s the only thing I was deliberately untruthful about. I was still pretty new to this online chatting stuff, and I didn’t want anyone to know who I really was. I didn’t know you, and in case you were some crazy person, I didn’t want you to be able to find me or anything like that. –Sapphire Storm

  That’s fine, I can understand that, I suppose. Now that we’re beyond that, let’s catch up. Do you have any kids? –FINDERKEEPER

  Yes I do. Two. What about you? –Sapphire Storm

  No kids. I like kids though. –FINDERKEEPER

  That’s great. Again, I’m sorry for lying. That’s not like me. I feel pretty shitty about it. I guess because I pride myself on being an honest, trustworthy person. –Sapphire Storm

  Forget about it. I told you I understand why you did it. It doesn’t change anything. It’s not like we’re a couple or dating or anything. Then it would be a problem. –FINDERKEEPER

  Right. LOL. True. Let me ask you something. –Sapphire Storm

  Ok. –FINDERKEEPER

  Are you in love with the woman you’re seeing? –Sapphire Storm

  Yeah, very much so. When I open my eyes in the mornings and look up at my bedroom ceiling, I don’t see the light fixture or the sun peeking into my window. I only see her. –FINDERKEEPER

  Damn that was beautiful and took me off guard! LOL. –Sapphire Storm

  Why? –FINDERKEEPER

  Well, you don’t usually say stuff like that. –Sapphire Storm

  I do, you just don’t know how I behave when I love a woman. This is typical for me. It’s been a long time though. I’m a little rusty at it, but getting my sea legs nevertheless. –FINDERKEEPER

  That’s wonderful, FINDERKEEPER. No wonder we’ve been talking less, lol. –Sapphire Storm

  Yeah, now we know why we’ve been talking much less, but I’m still here if you ever need to talk, okay? –FINDERKEEPER

  Thank you! I appreciate that. I extend the same to you, FINDERKEEPER. –Sapphire Storm

  Thank you. Get some sleep. We’ll talk again. When that will be, who knows – but I’m certain it will happen again. You’re good people, Sapphire Storm. –FINDERKEEPER

  You are too, FINDERKEEPER. Goodnight and thanks for being a friend. –Sapphire Storm

  Golden Girls just came to mind. –FINDERKEEPER

  LOL. Your girlfriend is a lucky lady. –Sapphire Storm

  So is your guy. I guess Irish luck in this case is real. LOL. Good night, Sapphire, and may all of your dreams come true… –FINDERKEEPER

  *

  “You can’t be serious.” Treasure swung her coral and taupe purse over one slumped shoulder as they exited the Thai noodle place that left her stomach embarrassingly packed and filled to capacity. The man was introducing her to places she’d driven by countless times, but never noticed, and worse yet, the meals were incredible and savory! Sean had a way of knowing good food; she supposed he was rather resourceful, a skill she’d lost along the way.

  She remembered what it was like to have daily ramen noodle meals, and pay for schoolbooks by giving blood and plasma. Then, if all else failed, hawking a coveted piece of jewelry. She recalled what it felt like to work several jobs, get only two hours of sleep, and have to cram in studying right before a big test, after which she’d barely have enough energy and money to purchase, let alone eat, a bowl of cheap, store brand cereal. Those days may have been over, but they were never forgotten. She squelched a belch, refusing to do such a thing in front of the man, then grimaced as she ran her hand along her stomach. She’d overdone it, and her slightly poked out blue and gray striped shirt was proof of such gluttony.

  “Why not?” They stood in front of the psychic parlor that glowed an alien spaceship. She said nothing as he pointed to the neon green Hamsa hand, as if that would somehow put her at ease, bring her to his side of the fence.

  “Sean, I’m not going in there.” She wrapped her arm around his and bit into her lower lip, stifling a chuckle. The whole thing was just plain silly, and lest she admit it, the idea of it all made her a tad bit uneasy. For a split second, she forgot about the crazy man’s suggestion, taken as she was by his intoxicating scent. He always smelled good. How ironic, funny, but downright lovely that his flesh smelled so divine. Yeah, the garbageman smelled like Gucci’s ‘Guilty’, which made her crave him a bit more.

  “What cologne do you have on? I always smell it on you but never asked.” She hugged him a bit tighter.

  “Gucci…you like it?”

  I knew it!

  “Yeah, it’s nice.”

  She smiled, feeling his warm breath against her ear when he spoke…and not only that…

  His hard body—a thing of beauty.

  Oh God, his arms…so big and solid…

  She leaned in a bit closer, wrapped herself a bit tighter around him, feeling a little crazy for loving on him so. Yet, a sense of peace settled on her, too.

  “It’s just something to do.” He shrugged in his ‘no biggie’ way. “Hey,” he said, lifting her chin to make her look into his glorious face.

  Oh my goodness, he is so sexy…and his kisses make me feel like I am floating.

  She gave an internal squeal, enjoying
herself to the hilt. They’d been working on spending more time together, meeting up for a coffee here and there. It seemed the man kept an even busier schedule than her own as of late, but they made the time, squeezing in a few minutes where there seemed to be none. He’d send her all sorts of text messages, mostly funny ones. She appreciated those the most, for her current life seemed to be no laughing matter. He provided a reprieve, a break from her warped reality. He was her hidden paragon, a secret dressed in the precious jewels of her mind, surpassing her wildest inclinations and imagination and weaving wisdom into his comedic declarations. Sean possessed the kind of intelligence that didn’t scream at you, but you’d see it, hear it, and know his aptitude was nothing to scoff at. Although pretentious, he wasn’t a show off, but simply Sean. He knew what he knew, and he didn’t make a big deal about it. He’d learned his lesson, and handled her more gently now, giving respect in order to get it. And he worked hard… Hell, she found that downright sensual all by itself.

  “Have you ever been to a psychic before?” she asked as they moved out the way for a large group of boisterous pedestrians.

  “Nah, never. I saw the place just now and thought, ‘This is just some shit to do.’ If you really don’t want to, we don’t have to.”

  “You know what? It really isn’t a big deal so what the hell, I’ll try it. I’ll step out of my comfort zone, but remember to take this with a grain of salt.”

  “I prefer pepper…”

  “Is that some sort of racial joke?” She smirked, egging him on as he opened the glass door and stepped aside, allowing her to walk over the threshold.

  “Racial joke, huh?” He smiled. “Maybe you should ask the psychic,” he teased as he intertwined their fingers in a hand embrace. The place was filled with wall-to-wall curio cabinets, all cramped together with displays of smoldering pipes, brass herb pedestals, colorful tapestries, and what appeared to be glass figurines inside of a large bowl. The scent of smoky incense and sweet mulberry scented candles hung in the air. They stood in the restricted foyer area, looking at tables covered in dusty wares, odd things she’d never seen before. One large wicker basket was filled with what appeared to be tiny witch brooms, or possibly freshly rolled blunts. She chuckled at the notion as she read the little card beside the basket that read, ‘White Sage Smudgers’.