Complete Works of Oscar Wilde

by Oscar Wilde

  HOPPER (L.C.): Awfully sorry, Duchess. We went out for a moment and then got chatting together.

  DUCHESS OF BERWICK (C.): Ah, about dear Australia, I suppose?

  HOPPER: Yes!

  DUCHESS OF BERWICK: Agatha, darling! (Beckons her over.)

  LADY AGATHA: Yes, mamma!

  DUCHESS OF BERWICK (aside): Did Mr. Hopper definitely –

  LADY AGATHA: Yes, mamma.

  DUCHESS OF BERWICK: And what answer did you give him, dear child?

  LADY AGATHA: Yes, mamma.

  DUCHESS OF BERWICK (affectionately): My dear one! You always say the right thing. Mr. Hopper! James! Agatha has told me everything. How cleverly you have both kept your secret.

  HOPPER: You don’t mind my taking Agatha off to Australia, then, Duchess?

  DUCHESS OF BERWICK (indignantly): To Australia? Oh, don’t mention that dreadful vulgar place.

  HOPPER: But she said she’d like to come with me.

  DUCHESS OF BERWICK (severely): Did you say that, Agatha?

  LADY AGATHA: Yes, mamma.

  DUCHESS OF BERWICK: Agatha, you say the most silly things possible. I think on the whole that Grosvenor Square would be a more healthy place to reside in. There are lots of vulgar people live in Grosvenor Square, but at any rate there are no horrid kangaroos crawling about. But we’ll talk about that to-morrow. James, you can take Agatha down. You’ll come to lunch, of course, James. At half-past one, instead of two. The Duke will wish to say a few words to you, I am sure.

  HOPPER: I should like to have a chat with the Duke, Duchess. He has not said a single word to me yet.

  DUCHESS OF BERWICK: I think you’ll find he will have a great deal to say to you to-morrow. (Exit LADY AGATHA with MR. HOPPER.) And now good-night, Margaret. I’m afraid it’s the old, old story, dear. Love – well, not love at first sight, but love at the end of the season, which is so much more satisfactory.

  LADY WINDERMERE: Good-night, Duchess.

  Exit the DUCHESS OF BERWICK on LORD PAISLEY’S arm.

  LADY PLYMDALE: My dear Margaret, what a handsome woman your husband has been dancing with! I should be quite jealous if I were you! Is she a great friend of yours?

  LADY WINDERMERE: No!

  LADY PLYMDALE: Really? Good-night, dear. (Looks at MR. DUMBY and exit.)

  DUMBY: Awful manners young Hopper has!

  CECIL GRAHAM: Ah! Hopper is one of Nature’s gentlemen, the worst type of gentleman I know.

  DUMBY: Sensible woman, Lady Windermere. Lots of wives would have objected to Mrs. Erlynne coming. But Lady Windermere has that uncommon thing called common sense.

  CECIL GRAHAM: And Windermere knows that nothing looks so like innocence as an indiscretion.

  DUMBY: Yes; dear Windermere is becoming almost modern. Never thought he would. (Bows to LADY WINDERMERE and exit.)

  LADY JEDBURGH: Good-night, Lady Windermere. What a fascinating woman Mrs. Erlynne is! She is coming to lunch on Thursday, won’t you come too? I expect the Bishop and dear Lady Merton.

  LADY WINDERMERE: I am afraid I am engaged, Lady Jedburgh.

  LADY JEDBURGH: So sorry. Come, dear.

  Exeunt LADY JEDBURGH and MISS GRAHAM.

  Enter MRS. ERLYNNE and LORD WINDERMERE.

  MRS. ERLYNNE: Charming ball it has been! Quite reminds me of old days. (Sits on sofa.) And I see that there are just as many fools in society as there used to be. So pleased to find that nothing has altered! Except Margaret. She’s grown quite pretty. The last time I saw her – twenty years ago, she was a fright in flannel. Positive fright, I assure you. The dear Duchess! And that sweet Lady Agatha! Just the type of girl I like! Well, really, Windermere, if I am to be the Duchess’s sister-in-law –

  LORD WINDERMERE (sitting L. of her): But are you –?

  Exit MR. CECIL GRAHAM with rest of guests. LADY WINDERMERE watches, with a look of scorn and pain, MRS. ERLYNNE and her husband. They are unconscious of her presence.

  MRS. ERLYNNE: Oh, yes! He’s to call to-morrow at twelve o’clock. He wanted to propose to-night. In fact he did. He kept on proposing. Poor Augustus; you know how he repeats himself. Such a bad habit! But I told him I wouldn’t give him an answer till to-morrow. Of course I am going to take him. And I dare say I’ll make him an admirable wife, as wives go. And there is a great deal of good in Lord Augustus. Fortunately it is all on the surface. Just where good qualities should be. Of course you must help me in this matter.

  LORD WINDERMERE: I am not called on to encourage Lord Augustus, I suppose?

  MRS. ERLYNNE: Oh, no! I do the encouraging. But you will make me a handsome settlement, Windermere, won’t you?

  LORD WINDERMERE (frowning): Is that what you want to talk to me about to-night?

  MRS. ERLYNNE: Yes.

  LORD WINDERMERE (with a gesture of impatience): I will not talk of it here.

  MRS. ERLYNNE (laughing): Then we will talk of it on the terrace. Even business should have a picturesque background. Should it not, Windermere? With a proper background women can do anything.

  LORD WINDERMERE: Won’t to-morrow do as well?

  MRS. ERLYNNE: No; you see, to-morrow I am going to accept him. And I think it would be a good thing if I was able to tell him that I had – well, what shall I say? – £2000 a year left to me by a third cousin – or a second husband – or some distant relative of that kind. It would be an additional attraction, wouldn’t it? You have a delightful opportunity now of paying me a compliment, Windermere. But you are not very clever at paying compliments. I am afraid Margaret doesn’t encourage you in that excellent habit. It’s a great mistake on her part. When men give up saying what is charming, they give up thinking what is charming. But seriously, what do you say to £2000? £2500, I think. In modern life margin is everything. Windermere, don’t you think the world an intensely amusing place? I do!

  Exit on terrace with LORD WINDERMERE. Music strikes up in ballroom.

  LADY WINDERMERE: To stay in this house any longer is impossible. Tonight a man who loves me offered me his whole life. I refused it. It was foolish of me. I will offer him mine now. I will give him mine. I will go to him! (Puts on cloak and goes to the door, then turns back. Sits down at table and writes a letter, puts it into an envelope, and leaves it on table.) Arthur has never understood me. When he reads this, he will. He may do as he chooses now with his life. I have done with mine as I think best, as I think right. It is he who has broken the bond of marriage – not I. I only break its bondage. (Exit.)

  PARKER enters L. and crosses towards the ballroom R. Enter MRS. ERLYNNE.

  MRS. ERLYNNE: Is Lady Windermere in the ballroom?

  PARKER: Her ladyship has just gone out.

  MRS. ERLYNNE: Gone out? She’s not on the terrace?

  PARKER: No, madam. Her ladyship has just gone out of the house.

  MRS. ERLYNNE (starts, and looks at the servant with a puzzled expression in her face.): Out of the house?

  PARKER: Yes, madam – her ladyship told me she had left a letter for his lordship on the table.

  MRS. ERLYNNE: A letter for Lord Windermere?

  PARKER: Yes, madam.

  MRS. ERLYNNE: Thank you.

  Exit PARKER. The music in the ballroom stops.

  Gone out of her house! A letter addressed to her husband! (Goes over to bureau and looks at letter. Takes it up and lays it down again with a shudder of fear.) No, no! It would be impossible! Life doesn’t repeat its tragedies like that! Oh, why does this horrible fancy come across me? Why do I remember now the one moment of my life I most wish to forget? Does life repeat its tragedies? (Tears letter open and reads it, then sinks down into a chair with a gesture of anguish.) Oh, how terrible! The same words that twenty years ago I wrote to her father! and how bitterly I have been punished for it! No; my punishment, my real punishment is to-night, is now! (Stillseated R.)

  Enter LORD WINDERMERE L. U.E.

  LORD WINDERMERE: Have you said good-night to my wife? (Comes C.)

  MRS. ERLYNNE (crushing letter in her hand):
Yes.

  LORD WINDERMERE: Where is she?

  MRS. ERLYNNE: She is very tired. She has gone to bed. She said she had a headache.

  LORD WINDERMERE: I must go to her. You’ll excuse me?

  MRS. ERLYNNE (rising hurriedly): Oh, no! It’s nothing serious. She’s only very tired, that is all. Besides, there are people still in the supper-room. She wants you to make her apologies to them. She said she didn’t wish to be disturbed. (Drops letter.) She asked me to tell you!

  LORD WINDERMERE (picks up letter): You have dropped something.

  MRS. ERLYNNE: Oh yes, thank you, that is mine. (Puts out her hand to take it.)

  LORD WINDERMERE (still looking at letter): But it’s my wife’s handwriting isn’t it?

  MRS. ERLYNNE (takes the letter quickly): Yes, it’s – an address. Will you ask them to call my carriage, please?

  LORD WINDERMERE: Certainly. (Goes L. and Exit.)

  MRS. ERLYNNE: Thanks! What can I do? What can I do? I feel a passion awakening within me that I never felt before. What can it mean? The daughter must not be like the mother – that would be terrible. How can I save her? How can I save my child? A moment may ruin a life. Who knows that better than I? Windermere must be got out of the house; that is absolutely necessary. (Goes L.) But how shall I do it? It must be done somehow. Ah!

  Enter LORD AUGUSTUS R. U.E. carrying bouquet.

  LORD AUGUSTUS: Dear Lady, I am in such suspense! May I not have an answer to my request?

  MRS. ERLYNNE: Lord Augustus, listen to me. You are to take Lord Windermere down to your club at once, and keep him there as long as possible. You understand?

  LORD AUGUSTUS: But you said you wished me to keep early hours!

  MRS. ERLYNNE (nervously): Do what I tell you. Do what I tell you.

  LORD AUGUSTUS: And my reward?

  MRS. ERLYNNE: Your reward? Your reward? Oh! Ask me that to-morrow. But don’t let Windermere out of your sight to-night. If you do I will never forgive you. I will never speak to you again. I’ll have nothing to do with you. Remember you are to keep Windermere at your club, and don’t let him come back to-night. (Exit L.)

  LORD AUGUSTUS: Well, really, I might be her husband already. Positively I might. (Follows her in a bewildered manner.)

  ACT DROP

  ACT THREE

  SCENE: Lord Darlington’s rooms. A large sofa is in front of fireplace R. At the back of the stage a curtain is drawn across the window. Doors L. and R. Table R. with writing materials. Table C. with syphons, glasses, and Tantalus frame. Table L. with cigar and cigarette box. Lamps lit.

  LADY WINDERMERE (standing by the fireplace): Why doesn’t he come? This waiting is horrible. He should be here. Why is he not here, to wake by passionate words some fire within me? I am cold – cold as a loveless thing. Arthur must have read my letter by this time. If he cared for me, he would have come after me, would have taken me back by force. But he doesn’t care. He’s entrammelled by this woman – fascinated by her – dominated by her. If a woman wants to hold a man, she has merely to appeal to what is worst in him. We make gods of men and they leave us. Other make brutes of them and they fawn and are faithful. How hideous life is!…Oh! It was mad of me to come here, horribly mad. And yet, which is the worst, I wonder, to be at the mercy of a man who loves one, or the wife of a man who in one’s own house dishonours one? What woman knows? What woman in the whole world? But will he love me always, this man to whom I am giving my life? What do I bring him? Lips that have lost the note of joy, eyes that are blinded by tears, chill hands and icy heart. I bring him nothing. I must go back – no; I can’t go back, my letter has put me in their power – Arthur would not take me back! That fatal letter! No! Lord Darlington leaves England to-morrow. I will go with him – I have no choice. (Sits down for a few moments. Then starts up and puts on her cloak.) No, no! I will go back, let Arthur do with me what he pleases. I can’t wait here. It has been madness my coming. I must go at once. As for Lord Darlington. Oh! Here he is! What shall I do? What can I say to him? Will he let me go away at all? I have heard that men are brutal, horrible…Oh! (Hides her face in her hands.)

  Enter MRS. ERLYNNE L.

  MRS. ERLYNNE: Lady Windermere! (LADY WINDERMERE starts and looks up. Then recoils in contempt.) Thank Heaven I am in time. You must go back to your husband’s house immediately.

  LADY WINDERMERE: Must?

  MRS. ERLYNNE (authoritatively): Yes, you must! There is not a second to be lost. Lord Darlington may return at any moment.

  LADY WINDERMERE: Don’t come near me!

  MRS. ERLYNNE: Oh! You are on the brink of ruin, you are on the brink of a hideous precipice. You must leave this place at once; my carriage is waiting at the corner of the street. You must come with me and drive straight home.

  LADY WINDERMERE throws off her cloak and flings it on the sofa.

  What are you doing?

  LADY WINDERMERE: Mrs. Erlynne if you had not come here, I would have gone back. But now that I see you, I feel that nothing in the whole world would induce me to live under the same roof as Lord Windermere. You fill me with horror. There is something about you that stirs the wildest – rage within me. And I know why you are here. My husband sent you to lure me back that I might serve as a blind to whatever relations exist between you and him.

  MRS. ERLYNNE: Oh! You don’t think that – you can’t.

  LADY WINDERMERE: Go back to my husband, Mrs. Erlynne. He belongs to you and not to me. I suppose he is afraid of a scandal. Men are such cowards. They outrage every law of the world, and are afraid of the world’s tongue. But he had better prepare himself. He shall have a scandal. He shall have the worst scandal there has been in London for years. He shall see his name in every vile paper, mine on every hideous placard.

  MRS. ERLYNNE: No – no –

  LADY WINDERMERE: Yes! He shall. Had he come himself, I admit I would have gone back to the life of degradation you and he had prepared for me – I was going back – but to stay himself at home, and to send you as his messenger – oh! It was infamous – infamous.

  MRS. ERLYNNE (C): Lady Windermere, you wrong me horribly – you wrong your husband horribly. He doesn’t know you are here – he thinks you are safe in your own house. He thinks you are asleep in your own room. He never read the mad letter you wrote to him!

  LADY WINDERMERE (R.): Never read it!

  MRS. ERLYNNE: No – he knows nothing about it.

  LADY WINDERMERE: How simple you think me! (Going to her.) You are lying to me!

  MRS. ERLYNNE (restraining herself): I am not. I am telling you the truth.

  LADY WINDERMERE: If my husband didn’t read my letter, how is it that you are here? Who told you I had left the house you were shameless enough to enter? Who told you where I had gone to? My husband told you, and sent you to decoy me back. (Crosses L.)

  MRS. ERLYNNE (R.C.): Your husband has never seen the letter. I – saw it, I opened it. I – read it.

  LADY WINDERMERE (turning to her): You opened a letter of mine to my husband? You wouldn’t dare!

  MRS. ERLYNNE: Dare! Oh! To save you from the abyss into which you are falling, there is nothing in the world I would not dare, nothing in the whole world. Here is the letter. Your husband has never read it. He never shall read it. (Going to fireplace.) It should never have been written. (Tears it and throws it into the fire.)

  LADY WINDERMERE (with infinite contempt in her voice and look): How do I know that that was my letter after all? You seem to think that commonest device can take me in!

  MRS. ERLYNNE: Oh! Why do you disbelieve everything I tell you? What object do you think I have in coming here, except to save you from utter ruin, to save you from the consequence of a hideous mistake? That letter that is burnt now was your letter. I swear it to you!

  LADY WINDERMERE (slowly): You took good care to burn it before I had examined it. I cannot trust you. You, whose whole life is a lie, how could you speak the truth about anything? (Sits down.)

  MRS. ERLYNNE (hurriedly): Think as you l
ike about me – say what you choose against me, but go back, go back to the husband you love.

  LADY WINDERMERE (sullenly): I do not love him!

  MRS. ERLYNNE: You do, and you know that he loves you.

  LADY WINDERMERE: He does not understand what love is. He understands it as little as you do – but I see what you want. It would be a great advantage for you to get me back. Dear Heaven! What a life I would have then! Living at the mercy of a woman who has neither mercy nor pity in her, a woman whom it is an infamy to meet, a degradation to know, a vile woman, a woman who comes between husband and wife!

  MRS. ERLYNNE (with a gesture of despair): Lady Windermere, Lady Windermere, don’t say such terrible things. You don’t know how terrible they are, how terrible and how unjust. Listen, you must listen! Only go back to your husband, and I promise you never to communicate with him again on any pretext – never to see him – never to have anything to do with his life or yours. The money that he gave me, he gave me not through love, but through hatred, not in worship, but in contempt. The hold I have over him –

  LADY WINDERMERE (rising): Ah! You admit you have a hold!

  MRS. ERLYNNE: Yes, and I will tell you what it is. It is his love for you, Lady Windermere.

  LADY WINDERMERE: You expect me to believe that?

  MRS. ERLYNNE: You must believe it! It is true. It is his love for you that has made him submit to – Oh! call it what you like, tyranny, threats, anything you choose. But it is his love for you. His desire to spare you – shame, yes, shame and disgrace.

  LADY WINDERMERE: What do you mean? You are insolent! What have I to do with you?

  MRS. ERLYNNE (humbly): Nothing. I know it – but I tell you that your husband loves you – that you may never meet with such love again in your whole life – that such love you will never meet – and that if you throw it away, the day may come when you will starve for love and it will not be given to you, beg for love and it will be denied you. Oh! Arthur loves you!