Insanity (Insanity Series, Book 1)

by Andre Gonzalez

  Instead, Jeremy went to the library after work, when no one knew what his routine looked like. With no girlfriend or roommate, his evenings were truly his. For all his coworkers knew he went home, played video games, and jerked off until bedtime.

  He went to the library with a backpack full of books. As far as the librarians knew, he was coming every day to study in peace, not game-planning an insanity plea for a crime that hadn’t happened yet.

  *****

  After two weeks and nearly a hundred hours in the library, Jeremy felt he had a solid plan in place, but there was one glaring problem: no one would give a shit.

  His research concluded that of the cases that had succeeded with the insanity plea, none had really stuck with the public. He needed the American public, if not the world, to be involved and to have an interest in the case.

  The one case that had gathered any sort of national uproar was when John Hinckley Jr. was sentenced to a mental institute instead of prison, for the attempted assassination of President Ronald Reagan. But Reagan lived, so when Hinckley was found not guilty by reason of insanity, it didn’t have the same effect as it could have had the president passed away. Had that happened, perhaps Jeremy’s mission would have already been complete. But this was also in the 1980s, before social media and a hunger to constantly be in the know, so maybe not.

  Jeremy took a step back to look at the big picture.

  People are murdered every day. We’re conditioned to seeing murder on a regular basis.

  If Jeremy killed Shelly, he would get nothing more than fifteen minutes of fame on the local nightly news. His mugshot would be all over the internet as past acquaintances talked shit about him. But his face would be a distant memory well before a trial would start.

  He needed an audience, a big one. He needed people to feel connected. He thought back to what Dr. Siva had told him.

  “Everyone knows an average of 700 people,” he said to himself. “The more people you can affect directly, the larger your reach of influence.”

  Jeremy had two options: kill a high-profile person, or carry out a mass murder.

  Killing a high-profile person could prove too difficult. “Who would I even kill? A movie star? Athlete? Politician?”

  A mass murder seemed more feasible, but also opened the door to more questions: Where? When? How? Were there other factors to consider in a mass shooting that could influence his goal of winning the insanity plea in court?

  He went back to his notebook with hopes of answering some of these questions.

  Jeremy doodled a question mark, frustrated by his racing mind. He’d felt like he had everything under control when he planned on killing Shelly, and now felt completely helpless. He rubbed his eyes and planted his face into open palms.

  “Oh, my God,” he whispered, writing with authority below the question mark.

  “It’s perfect—the best of both worlds.”

  I can take out Shelly and achieve a mass murder.

  “Mentally ill man shoots up office.” Jeremy wanted to hear the potential news headline out loud. “The workplace killer. The office slaughter. Jeremy Heston has a killer day at work!”

  He giggled at the last one, and returned to the notebook.

  Jeremy knew he would have to kill some of his friends and teammates. If he killed everyone but them, his insanity plea flew out the window.

  He closed his eyes, drew in deep breaths, and envisioned himself shooting Sylvia.

  Sylvia.

  His closest confidant at the office. She was a single mother to a promising young boy. Was ruining that boy’s life worth all of this? For the sake of psychology?

  A tear rolled down his cheek.

  “I have to do it. There’s too many people suffering and rotting away in prison.”

  Jeremy tried to take a step back, to see objectively.

  He started a new list.

  Jeremy closed his notebook, hands shaking.

  My team would be the first to go.

  He cried himself to sleep, dreamless and deep.

  *****

  When Jeremy awoke Monday morning, he had managed to clear his mind of his experiment.

  It would be absurd to shoot all of his coworkers. They’d done nothing to deserve such a fate.

  His conscience cleared once he arrived at the office and he felt the sick feeling in his stomach, which had become all too familiar.

  I fucking hate this place, he thought as he placed his backpack under his desk.

  Shelly stood at her desk. Good-for-nothing bitch. How does someone so awful get into such a position of power?

  Jeremy hadn’t planned on visiting the library that evening. In fact, he hadn’t planned on going back at all. His plan was complete; he just needed to decide if he actually wanted to do it.

  You could never.

  Shelly left her desk and started for Jeremy, her over-sized ass jiggling with each step.

  “Jeremy, can I have a word?”

  “Sure.” He followed Shelly to a conference room as she chattered on about the beautiful morning. They entered the room and she closed the door behind her while Jeremy pulled out a chair. She sat across the table from him and crossed her hands on the table.

  “We need to talk,” she said. “I know there’s some tension and you’re unhappy.”

  Jeremy felt his scalp tingle as rage instantly boiled up.

  He kept his voice calm, despite feeling like he could turn her face into a living punching bag. “I’m okay, it’s just been hard to bounce back from the rejection. You rejected me for the training job, then didn’t let me interview for the job that Nicole was grooming me for.”

  “We had strict requirements for the position.”

  Please. Clark? Clark is at my desk twenty times a day with questions, but he is miraculously qualified?

  “Look, I understand you’re upset. Why didn’t you speak to me sooner about this?”

  Me? Why didn’t you tell me to my face? All I got was a generic email response, like I’m some bum off the streets.

  Jeremy looked down, trying to think of what to say but coming up with nothing.

  “Look, Jeremy. I had a decision to make and I stand by it. I’m sorry if it was not handled in an appropriate fashion.”

  “Fair enough.” Jeremy didn’t feel the need to beat the dead horse any further.

  “I’m hoping we can put this behind us and move forward. And that brings me to what I really wanted to talk about with you.”

  Jeremy nodded at her to proceed.

  “I have hired our next manager. His name is Mark Fernandez. He’ll be starting on Wednesday. Now, I know you don’t like this, but I’m hoping I can count on you to welcome Mark to the team. The rest of the team still looks to you, and how you handle the hiring of your new manager will affect the rest of the team’s attitude as well. So can I count on you?”

  “Of course.” Jeremy had no intention of making life hard for the new manager, and was offended that Shelly had brought it up.

  “Good. Let’s make this a smooth transition for everyone. You’re still our team lead, don’t forget that. Things will work out, they always do.”

  Easy for you to say.

  “I look forward to meeting Mark and working with him to continue our team’s high performance.” Jeremy had perfected the craft of bullshitting in the corporate world.

  Translation: Fuck Mark. Fuck you. And fuck this place.

  28

  September 2015

  Wednesday brought the person that would forever change Jeremy’s life: Mark Fernandez.

  Mark walked into the office: tall and skinny, with a demanding presence. Mark’s youthful face stood out, and the thought of working for someone younger than him irked Jeremy to a new level. He could see Mark laughing with Shelly at her desk.

  Shelly walked over to the team. “Hey gang, let’s meet in the training room real quick.”

  She walked with Mark around the corner, and held the door open as the rest of the team
joined. Mark leaned against the front wall, smiling and nodding at each of them as they took their seats.

  “Team, this is Mark, your new manager. Mark, tell the team a little about yourself?”

  “Absolutely,” he said, pushing himself off the wall. “I’m coming over from Marriott hotels, where I managed the events team for the last five years. When I saw the opportunity to join a tech company, I figured it would be a perfect fit.”

  Jeremy watched Mark, noting that his crooked nose looked like he may have taken a couple punches to the face. His brown eyes rested below a protruding brow. He wore khaki slacks and a button-up flannel shirt.

  Give the preppy boy a week before he’s in jeans and a T-shirt.

  “I look forward to working with all of you. Shelly has filled me in on what an awesome team you’ve built here, and my goal is to help you all grow even further.”

  “How about you all introduce yourselves to Mark. Jeremy, start us off?” Shelly asked.

  Jeremy nodded from his seat. “I’m Jeremy. I’ve been with the company for four and a half years, and have been the team lead for the last couple of those years. Welcome.”

  “Nice to meet you, Jeremy.” Mark walked to the front of the table and extended a hand. As he shook it Jeremy could see Shelly behind Mark, smiling to herself.

  The team shared more about themselves, as did Mark. He talked about his vision for the team, which sounded like nothing but big talk for a guy who knew nothing about how things worked around here. The team voiced their concerns about things they would like to see improved, and Mark vowed to make those matters a top priority.

  They all left the meeting energetic and excited for what the future held—all except Jeremy. When he returned to his desk, he felt squeamish. Mark seemed like an okay hire, but Jeremy didn’t see anything particularly special about him.

  *****

  As Mark settled into his role, the team continued to flourish. Their bonding seemed to strengthen to an ultimate high, but no thanks to Mark.

  In fact, it was in spite of Mark.

  There had not been a team-building event since Nicole had left, so Jeremy arranged a game night at his apartment with the team. Mark declined the invitation due to prior engagements, but everyone else was available and excited.

  In typical fashion for their team gatherings outside of the office, alcohol flowed from start to finish. Elayna showed up with a case of beer, Janae with tequila, and Mimi with a bottle of whiskey.

  “Let’s get fucked up!” Elayna barked as she put the cans of beer inside Jeremy’s fridge.

  Jeremy set out snacks and finger foods on his counter, and his team wasted no time making plates.

  Mimi poured a shot of whiskey for her and Sylvia. They’d became best friends after Mimi joined the team a year prior. The only black girls on the team, they had a natural bond.

  Jeremy turned on some music, then made his own plate. Everyone made their way to the living room, sitting on the couch or the floor. He had cleaned up this space, where he spent every evening eating take-out, and even vacuumed the carpet, knowing his mother would be proud.

  “Guys, I’m so sick of Mark. He always wants to meet up,” Mimi said. “Like, just leave me alone and let me do my job.”

  “Ugh, I know, it’s so annoying,” Janae whined.

  Jeremy shot a glance at Elayna. They had discussed how Mark clearly favored Janae. She was attractive and charming, and he had more private meetings with her than the others, and always called on her to do special favors around the office.

  Elayna rolled her eyes when Janae looked away, making Jeremy grin.

  “We can talk about anything in the world, and you wanna talk about work?” Jeremy asked.

  “Damn straight,” Mimi replied. “I don’t get to say these things at the office, and gotta sit there and let it boil up. Mark’s a fool. He tried changing our schedule to work all sorts of fucked-up hours. He can never answer a question, he always changes the subject. He’s a dumbass.”

  “Our team is so lame now,” Elayna said. “With Nicole, it was like we could come do our job, have fun, and just kick it. Mark is so intense, it’s like there’s either no fun, or all he wants to do is party.”

  Everyone nodded. “He’s crazy, like an alcoholic,” Sylvia chimed in. “I went with him Friday after his first week. He had about six shots, four beers, and was a hot mess. He told me he didn’t know what the hell he was doing in a tech company. Then he went on about his daddy issues. It got really weird.”

  “On that note, let’s take a team shot.” Jeremy went to the kitchen and grabbed the tequila bottle, along with a stack of shot glasses.

  After everyone had their shot in hand, Clark raised his. “To our team.”

  The girls all cheered and everyone clinked their glasses together.

  The night proceeded with more and more shots, and while the conversation strayed away from work, it kept coming back to Mark and Shelly, and how they had created such an unpleasant working atmosphere.

  Little did anyone realize, it would be their last night together before things changed forever.

  *****

  Monday morning brought its usual grogginess for the team. Since they were all roughly the same age—in their 20s mostly—they all had similar weekends. Friday and Saturday nights were for partying, Sunday was for recovering, and Monday could go fuck itself.

  One of the schedule changes Mark had implemented was to move the team’s weekly meeting to first thing on Monday mornings. He seemed to have no reasoning for it, seemed to have done it just for the sake of change.

  Jeremy felt extra tired and depressed and could see the same look on the faces of his teammates.

  Shelly kicked off the meeting with information on the monthly bonus incentives for the team, along with data on their prior month’s performance, her voice like nails on a chalkboard. Jeremy noticed that he was not the only one struggling to pay attention. It was like now that they had voiced their frustrations about Mark together, no one could pretend to care.

  As the day progressed, they joked and laughed with one another like any other work day—until Shelly started pulling everyone into meetings, one by one.

  Janae went in first, followed by Elayna, Mimi, Cherie, and Sylvia. Jeremy was pulled in last. He had noticed the serious look on everyone’s faces as they came out of their quick ten-minute meetings with Shelly.

  She approached Jeremy with a fake smile. “Let’s go have a chat.” She didn’t even wait for him to stand up before turning and walking to the conference room. She was already seated once he entered the room, so he closed the door behind him.

  “Have a seat.” Her tone was harsh and unpleasant. She cut right to the chase. “What the hell are you doing?”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “Don’t play dumb with me. I know what happened. Everyone on the team has told me.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Shelly shook her head in disgust.

  “You had a party Friday night at your house with the team.” She paused and looked at him, as if to let him say something in his defense.

  “Yeah? We all got together to hang out. Not sure why this is news, we’ve done it before.”

  “Well, it’s news because you let the conversation turn into a giant bitch-fest about Mark.”

  “That’s not at all what happened. People were having conversations about all kinds of different things. Did I hear Mark’s name mentioned a couple times throughout the night? Sure. But that’s normal.”

  “The fact is, you had a team gathering at your house and everyone felt compelled to complain about Mark. You allowed it to happen.”

  “Believe me, the last thing I wanted to talk about was work, but that’s where people kept taking the conversation.”

  Shelly paused to draw in a deep breath. She made no attempt to hide her disgust toward Jeremy. “If you want to be a leader, whether at this company or elsewhere, you can’t be getting involved in petty behavi
or like this. You have to change that conversation right away. Nip it in the bud.”

  Elsewhere? Jeremy felt the rage bloom up in him again. His leg bounced out of control beneath the table. “Understood.”

  “I don’t think you do understand. You were in that meeting this morning. There was an obvious black cloud hanging over the team. No one gave a shit what Mark had to say. That much was clear. Mark felt bad, and that’s why I started to ask around.”

  “Look, Shelly, I’m sorry this happened. But I honestly don’t feel like you should be pinning it on me. I didn’t even participate in the negative talk.”

  Shelly slumped her shoulders. “Whether that’s true or not, it’s not the point. You’re at a crossroads. I suggest you take the right road. I don’t want to ever have this conversation again.”

  Shelly stood and walked out of the room.

  “What the fuck?” he whispered to himself.

  Is this bitch for real? Did my team just throw me under the bus to cover their own asses?

  Jeremy knew it was human nature. People rarely stood up to authority, looked them in the face, and admitted their faults. Especially when they had an out.

  He doubted any of them intended to do such a thing, but their explanation of the night’s events painted that scenario in Shelly’s eyes. He sunk his head into his palms, closed his eyes, and a picture of the plan he’d conceived entered his mind, crowding out all else.

  It’s time to revisit the notebook.

  29

  November 2015

  Jeremy returned to the library over the weekend. He was ready to move forward with his experiment. He grabbed a computer at the end of the row, for privacy.

  His initial search began with “Colorado Gun Laws” and it yielded quick results that improved his spirits.