Seven's Diary: A Novella (Hers)

by Dawn Robertson

  “Whatever James,” I laughed as I let myself out of his office. The moment real names came into play I knew we were no longer playing but living our real lives. Not this fantasy role-playing game we set up to fill our desires. It was real. It was more than just an elaborate game of dominance. There were real feelings, and real connections. At the end of the day, and night it would always be me and James, or Master Robert, whatever he would choose to go by at that moment in time. But deep down, despite the Mistress Marilyn title, with him I was always Seven.

  A few minutes after six the door to my office opened, and James stood in the doorway. He looked impeccable in his suit, but that was nothing new. The warmth in his blue eyes shown through clear as day, his normally messy brown hair was perfectly combed to the side, and the smallest hint of a five o’clock shadow donned his jaw. I could remember every detail of him like it was all yesterday. Looking back, I wish I could have lived in that evening for eternity.

  “My God, Seven. You look stunning.” James said as he slowly moved across the room until his arm wrapped around my slim waist. The snug mermaid style dress accented every luscious curve of my body in all the right ways, like it had been made just for me. Knowing James it probably was, but I would never have asked.

  “Can dress me up, but you can’t take me out.” I winked at him and nodded to all my tattoos. Even though I looked like a Manhattan debutant, my arms were still sleeved in the tattoos that those same high society assholes would look down on. I would never be one of them, even if James really wanted me to be. It just wasn’t in me. I wasn’t born and bred into this elite circle. I had to laugh though, I didn’t belong here but I sure as fuck was taking it by storm. Because, that is what Seven James did. Stuck out like a sore thumb every chance she got.

  “My dear, you are absolutely stunning. Every last inch of you.” His honesty made me uncomfortable. No one was ever so sweet, so accepting, so worshiping of me. It was something new I am not sure I would ever get used to. But James slowly taught me to take my compliments and run with them. Not only was I beautiful, but I deserved for the world to think the same. He would teach me that.

  In an attempt to take the attention away from me, I interrupted the moment. “We’re going to be late.” I nodded to the clock as James took my hand and we headed for the elevator. People stared as we made our way through the building, dressed to the nines for our night out; something out of the ordinary for the two of us. While James liked nice things, overall he was outwardly a very simple man. I could only wonder what the rumor mill churned up that night.

  We dined on delicious food, and shared an overpriced bottle of expensive wine. People pointed across the restaurant, mainly at James. For someone of his age he had never married which wasn’t completely unheard of but not exactly the norm in the business community. Truth be told, for years people insisted he was gay. I would take his secret to the grave with me because his kinks weren’t my tale to tell. I would never break his trust under any circumstance. Now or then. But as time went on, and our relationship grew… fewer men joined us behind the closed doors of Sinners and Swingers. I never questioned his choices in our activities or why the pendulum began to swing.

  The evening wore on, and we enjoyed a delicious slice of cake. I insisted on him eating most of it because in all honesty, if I had another bite I probably would have made a scene in one of the finest restaurants in Manhattan by vomiting everywhere. Told you, I’m not a classy broad by any means.

  “Thank you for a wonderful evening, James. You really went above and beyond for my birthday.” It was a moment of genuine happiness. Something I don’t think I ever had before in my life. Yeah, sure I’ve been happy about shit but it was something totally different from the moment I was sharing. Everything about us was right. It was just simply perfect.

  “Oh, Seven. It isn’t over yet.” He let out a laugh and nodded to the door. “Time for the second part of our evening.” I learned to never question this man and his plans. I just went along with whatever he had intended for the rest of our evening. But I couldn’t help but smile, not knowing what else he had planned for my birthday. Just the fact that he had remembered was enough to make me an emotional mess.

  “Clyde, The Plaza.” James said as he helped me into the back of the town car sitting at the curb. My jaw dropped as I waited for him to get in the car. It was rare that I sassed him, but I am pretty sure he already knew it was coming. His smile was wide when he turned his gaze to meet mine.

  “The Plaza? James are you insane?” He laughed at me. Because deep down aren’t we all a little insane?

  “Seven, give it a rest. I wanted to do this for your birthday. Just relax and enjoy the night. It isn’t often we get an opportunity like this.” It was my turn to laugh at him, because we had this opportunity all the time. Weekly we would spend hours on end in bed, or at the club with other people involved in the middle of our sexcapades.

  “James, we do this weekly!” I objected.

  “Seven, tonight is different. Let me show you…” his words stopped when his lips pressed to mine. In one of the most tender and loving kisses we ever shared. It was full of love, and the unspoken emotion we would never dare share with each other because we were both stubborn as hell and terrified of commitment. We didn’t need the words exchanged to know how we felt. To know exactly what was happening between us. Looking back, I wish I would have told him right then and there I loved him. But, we all live with regrets.

  That night we would make love. Not fuck. I would lie in James’ arms and bask in the attention he gave every inch of my body, mind, and soul. That night we became one. We both know what happened between us that night. Once again we didn’t need the words.

  There were unspoken promises of dedication to each other. But, I’m good at fucking things up. I always have been and I always will be. It was late, almost two in the morning when we finally dragged ourselves from bed for bathroom breaks and a snack. Room service at The Plaza is something I will always recommend. Chocolate cake and strawberries in the middle of the night was just what the doctor ordered. I loved the way he spoiled me.

  We snacked, and shared a bottle of champagne. It was a night I will never forget.

  “Seven James?” His words snapped me out of my thoughts.

  “Hmmm” was all I could respond with, as I finished chewing the strawberry that filled my mouth.

  “Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” Shock wouldn’t have even covered the feeling that coursed through my body right then and there. I am also surprised that paramedics didn’t need to be called in as I choked on the strawberry I was trying to finish. James placed a Tiffany’s box on the table with one of the biggest rings I had ever seen. I couldn’t even look at it. But, then again it was like a train wreck.

  “James? What the hell! Are you trying to kill me?” I couldn’t be serious. I honestly think I was stuck in shock for a week after that. This was something I could have never imagined even in my wildest dreams, especially coming from the man who was so stubborn that he lived his entire life alone. Never committing to anyone or anything before whatever this was we shared.

  “Why not Seven? We are perfect together. There is no reason we shouldn’t just make it official.” While his defense made sense, I knew there would never be a day I got married. Ever. I just wasn’t the marrying type. But, I knew my answer would disappoint him, just as my reaction to the end of our evening would.

  “I’m sorry, James. I just can’t.” I began to search through the room for the dress I had on hours ago, something to make myself presentable enough to walk through the lobby of The Plaza at this hour without looking like a high priced whore. But, I guess that is exactly what I was. A whore.

  “Seven James, don’t you walk out of that door.” His words were stern, and gone was the romantic man who asked me to share his life. “You can say no, but Seven don’t fucking leave me. Not tonight. Not like this. Please.” He pleaded. He never said please, never asked nicely for an
ything in his life. He took what he wanted like the entitled man he was. The only reason I stopped, was because he used that one word.

  I turned right back around and spent the rest of the night with him. In his arms as if nothing ever happened between us to cause that momentary rift. As if he didn’t ask me to be his wife. All was forgotten by the morning. But in the back of my head I would never forget that night. I would remember every detail, every word spoken between the two of us. Every emotion I felt when I had to say no to him. And regret the words that came out of my mouth. Saying no to James was one of the biggest mistakes I would ever make in my life. And I would live to regret it damn near every day.

  During the day I worked my ass off. Climbing the corporate ladder like the suited professional I was. All while I continued to climb my boss like a tree. I always intended to get somewhere in my career by hard work, but being a woman in my field it was often unheard of. If we are being honest, professional women are still looked down on. Being a female CEO is rarely heard of, and once one of us actually does break that glass ceiling, it is all over the international news.

  Truth be told, I didn’t give a shit how I got to the top, as long as I got there, because the top is exactly where I belonged. It was the place I’ve craved to be my entire life. Yes, an unconventional opportunity came my way, and you know all those bitches that say they wouldn’t have jumped at the chance are liars. But what we had worked. It worked for us, which is all that I really gave a shit about. It wasn’t like Robert was some kind of pervert. Well, I guess in a way he could be considered a pervert. But no more than I was.

  No more than the rest of the sexually active adults in the world. We all have those things we enjoy. The things we hide in the darkness because we are worried of what the mainstream folks will think of us. It is okay. Believe me, it is healthy whether you believe it or not.

  Many wondered why James White took me under his wing in the corporate world when he barely said hello to anyone in the office. If they only knew the truth the office rumor mill would be far more on overdrive than it ever was.

  As time went on, the events of my birthday were completely in the past. Forgotten and never mentioned again. It was almost a black cloud hanging over us, but it never hurt the relationship we continued to have.

  One person in the office knew the truth about our relationship, his secretary, Ana; a woman sworn to secrecy, someone in charge of covering up the exploits of his life that dragged over into work. Exploits like me, or those who came sniffing around for a payday. I should have learned years ago there would come a time when that would become a reality for myself. I was just too naive to believe I would ever become that important. Ha! If I only knew what was right around the corner for the life I was making.

  Ana became a favorite flavor of mine, just as Star had. Her body was perfection in one of those cougar type ways. Her full hips gave me something to hold on to. Her breasts were for sure fake, but soft as hell. I could curl up on them, using them as pillows to nap on. Had you been afforded the same opportunity, I can assure you that you would have taken up that same chance.

  One of my favorite in office sexcapades happened on a Thursday before a holiday weekend. Most of the staff had cleared out, heading for their fancy vacations on the Cape or where ever their money would take them. I preferred to stay in Manhattan. I’ve never been much of a traveler.

  James or Master Robert as he was known at this time called me and Ana into his office. His brooding voice shook us both when he beckoned us, the clear cut symptoms of a bad day. As we rounded the corner, and quietly stepped into his office he turned in his chair. The door closed, locking in place and his words were short and to the point.

  “Both of you, strip.”

  My heart hammered against my chest as Ana looked at me with question and worry in her eyes. She was as confused as me, but with a nod she relaxed only enough to begin to unzip the Gucci dress she wore. I made quick work of unzipping my pink pencil skirt before lifting the black and white polka dot top I had on over my head, leaving me in nothing but my lingerie. The same black silk I knew set Robert on fire whether he wanted to admit it or not. I did that on purpose, as a play for power; always trying to go back and forth with him since he trained me to be as dominate as he was.

  His eyes always lit with a heat that would only be extinguished by his release when I donned a black garter. I knew this would be mine and Ana’s saving grace this afternoon. As we stood waiting for our instructions, the stressed Master ran his fingers through his hair and let out a sigh. Clearly stressed and clearly overworked after the latest merger that kept us both away from the club for the past week. Late nights and early mornings can only be worked out on each other enough. There always came a point in time where he needed more. Another person. Or people.

  “Ana on your knees, Mistress, panties off,” he instructed, and we both quickly complied. I always did what Robert told me without any question. He was the one man in my life I can honestly say I never questioned sexually. I never pushed his buttons, or tried to rein dominance over him, or at least not for anything more than demonstrating what he taught me. Maybe it is because I knew there would be great rewards in the end? Maybe it was because he held the key to my future success, or maybe it is just because I liked the arrangement we held.

  That I may never know.

  But looking down at Ana’s beautiful chocolate eyes, I was a goner.

  “Mistress, on your back on the love seat.” His strong fingers directed us to the corner of the room. The same corner which often doubled as an in-office playroom.

  As I followed his instructions he came out from behind his desk, only stopping once he was sitting in a lounge chair with the exact view he wanted. My legs spread open, bare pussy mere inches from Ana’s face. I could feel the heat from her breath on my wet cunt, begging for her tongue to make contact. Something neither of us would dare until he gave us permission.

  My eyes drift back to him as he leisurely reclined in his chair, watching the scene before him; his cock free from his pants, hard as a rock with a shiny chrome cock ring in place.

  “Ana, finger Mistress Marilyn.” Even outside of the walls of the club, there remained very few people who we interacted with, without the cloak of our alter-egos. While Ana may have known us both as Seven, and James I still believe that deep down James felt more comfortable keeping the words separate even if it was just for show.

  As her finger slowly pushed into my wet center, he spouted off more demands from his throne.

  “Mistress, remove your bra. Pinch your nipples for me. Ana, lick her cunt.” We both worked on the tasks given. Something I appreciated about the encounters I had with Ana, or even Star was the fact that being with a woman was just so much different than a man. I found myself being gentler. The blooming Domme being born inside me at the hands of Master Robert was forgotten. Being with a woman was far more sensual.

  Maybe that is why I enjoyed the occasional encounter with a woman. It gave me the chance to be gentle and connect on a deeper level. Master Robert and I had this deep connection, but it was different. It wasn’t one of those connections that most adults seem to need.

  “Shit,” Robert says from across the room as he stood. Cock still in his palm as he took long strides across the small space. It wasn’t long before the head of his dick pressed against my lips.

  “Open, Mistress,” he demanded and I complied. Teasing and sucking his cock as Ana’s mouth slowly began to lick my waiting pussy. Robert’s thrusts became forceful, fucking my face without any mercy. My hands working his tightening balls, dipping between his ass cheeks to occasionally tease his ass.

  “Fuck,” he yelled as he pulled his dick free from my mouth and emptied his release all over my face. Without missing a second, he tucked his dick away in his pants.

  “You are dismissed.”

  That is how much of my sexual time with Robert was inside the office; a stress relief for him. But, when it came to mentoring me in the busi
ness world, I learned more than I would have ever had the opportunity in school, or even in the original position I landed at the firm. I never questioned his interest in me. Not once, because I worried about how quickly he would replace me with someone else who could suck a dick on a whim. My own insecurities from Daniel hung over me, when the reality was Master Robert would never replace me.

  It had been almost a year from when Robert proposed before he came to me with disheartening news that would change the future of our relationship forever. Only I didn’t know this would be my big opportunity to shine.

  “Seven, can you come into my office for a bit? Close the door behind yourself,” he said as he rounded the doorway and made his way behind his desk. The grim look on his face worried me. I had never seen James White this dismal. He was like a man beaten. One of the subs he threw out like trash after he was finished with him for the night.

  “You okay?” I asked him with genuine concern. My worry for him was that of a lover, because in our time together I had become closer with him than any person in my life. Ever. Even my Star. While our relationship was certainly unconventional, I looked at him as a trusted male figure in my life. Our taboo encounters were consensual. He was a mentor in every form I could have ever asked for.

  “Seven, sit.” He demanded, and I complied.

  “I don’t like where this is going.” I admitted. Scared was an understatement.

  “Seven, I have cancer.”

  His words were like a knife to my chest. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. While I struggled to digest the words, and weight of his admission he continued speaking without missing a beat. Like this was something he expected, like he was lying down to accept his death sentence.