Family Drama 3-in-1 Box Set: String Bridge, The Book, Bitter Like Orange Peel
Page 29
I continue my all-original set, and each song receives a bigger applause than the last. Relief flushes through me like divine déjà vu, immersing me in a warm bath of velvety freedom. I did it. I did it again and I’m alive.
“Thank you!” I say as I put my guitar down. “I’d just like to let you all know I’ve finally released that album I’ve been going on about for the last six months. It’ll be in stores next week and it’s called On the Other Side. Keep an eye out for it. Have a great evening everyone, and thanks again for coming.”
Amidst uniting applause and cheering and whistling and static amplifier fuzz, the background music begins to play. Serena gestures with her own unique sign language that she’s going to take the kids to the burger joint over the road. I nod and sign back that’ll I’ll be right behind them. But just as I’m stepping off the stage, guitar in hand and leads hanging around my neck, I spot Richard entering the pub. He waves and puts his hands in his pockets.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, resting my gear on the ground. “I’m just about to leave, Serena’s got the kids and they’re—”
He puts his fingers to my lips. “I just came here to tell you something,” he says with a cheeky grin on his face. “After having a very serious discussion with my daughter, and discovering that she would like it just as much as I, having grown to love Tessa and Alex like brother and sister, I have come to let you know that we would very much like to accept your offer.”
“Really?” I ask trying to compose the potent thrill buzzing through my limbs. “You’ve finally decided to move in with us?”
“Yes,” he says, pulling me in for a warm hug. “Let’s cross that bridge, shall we?”
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Acknowledgments
First I’d like to thank my parents, Erika Bach and Demetri Vlass for being the most supporting and loving parents I could ever ask for. You have always been there for me through every choice I’ve made, and encouraged me to reach for my dreams no matter how unrealistic they seemed. And again, to my mother, for relinquishing one of her cherished songs, Famous, for me to rerecord and make my own for the book trailer. The song also helped me mold Melody into the character I had long been striving to create through numerous drafts of this book.
I’d also like to thank my partner, Spilios Tzemos, for supporting me through every single joyful and agonizing moment I went through to get this book published.
To my sister, Allison Bell, who read through, with speedy critical eyes, every single imperfect draft (and there were a lot!). This book would not be what it is today without you, Allison.
And to Dawn Ius, for being one of the most thoughtful, insightful and encouraging writing partners I could ask for. She kept my chin up during the rewriting of the very last draft and did wonders for boosting my self-esteem.
Of course, I can’t forget to thank George Priniotakis and Alex Bolpasis from Artracks Studios for their expertise and creativity in giving the novel’s soundtrack life.
I’d also like to thank this long list of people for their continuous support, encouragement and/or feedback on my very early drafts when I had no idea what I was doing: Angela Bandis, Angelique Geitenbeek, Anthony Bell, Caitlin Griffith, Danielle Whitman, Dione Davids, Eleni Yiannoulidou, Erika Stiles, Fleur Waters, Henri Richardson, Ivana Kohut, Jenny Heath, Karen Fisher, Katrina Cayzer, Leigh T. Moore, Margaret Bell, Matthew McNish, Nicole Ducleroir, Paula Berinstein, Rachel Finnie, Rachelle Koeppler, Sally Reiffel, Shannon McMahon, Susanne Lakin, Talli Roland and Vivian Clark.
THE BOOK
To my four parents
Part One
Love is the Beginning
November 12th, 1978
~Daddy
While lying in Penny’s womb, Penny and I would tickle your feet. You didn’t like that. But to feel you through Penny’s skin was a sensation so fantastic, it made me realise the love I have for you is quite a tangible thing.
January 12th, 1979
~Daddy
At 1:15 a.m., at the Austin Hospital, in Melbourne, you were born, my love. I was the lucky one because I held you for most of the time. It was a thrill just to see you open your eyes and look at me. Then I’d show you to Penny and she would smile her smile that has so much love in it. It lingered in the air so thick, yet so light; sometimes I thought I could hear its wings, hear it find the way to our hearts like little Milky Ways exploding in galaxies unknown to us.
It is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me—to see you being born, knowing that no-one can replicate you, that you are you alone, and that Penny and I created you.
Two hours later I’m still beaming with happiness—Bonnie Joy Miller—you are ours alone, so beautiful, so delicate. I know that you already know me—I love you so much, I will always love you because you are simply and purely my child and nothing in this entire world can take that away from me or surpass the feeling of love it has engraved into my very skin, my bones, my being.
You are so tiny—2.55 kg. And only 36 weeks in gestation. You are my little girl, my daughter; the reason I do everything I do, and will do. So be it, sweetheart; I hope I live up to the ideals and ambitions of fatherhood that I hold for you.
I love you dearly.
September 4th, 1979
~Mummy
Bonnie—just a thought. This morning is cold and glum. You’re asleep, finally, after hours of wailing. The doctor said you have colic and I just have to wait for it to pass. I’m thinking of how fast you are growing, how quickly you’ve developed a character and how wonderful you make me feel when you smile. How can I stay angry, lonely or sad? You are just too precious. Being your mother is the most rewarding occupation. When I feel those tears coming on, I just look at your face, and it helps me keep them hidden until I go to bed at night.
October 10th, 1979
~Mummy
You’re 10 months old now and today you started being a little daring by trying to pull yourself up on the record player. You giggled as if you knew you’d achieved something. Bonnie you are always on your tip toes—everyone says you’re going to be a ballet dancer. I wonder? You are doing so many things now—creeping, sitting, pulling yourself up, but you haven’t got one tooth yet. Every time I go cross-eyed, you giggle like there is nothing funnier in the world. I love how simple life is with you.
December 1st, 1979
~Mummy
Bonnie, if over the years you think that John and I argue a lot, I want you to know that I love him very much, without him there wouldn’t be a you. But sometimes things don’t work out the way we like. Our egos and prides get in the way and then love just becomes another weapon to hurt each other with. We both love you totally and nothing will ever change that and no matter what doubts you may have in your life you need never, not ever! doubt our love for you.
It’s nearly Christmas and I hope with all my heart your dad and I can make it a wonderful first Christmas for you. It’s a time for family and we are a family now.
I’m so glad you came into our lives, Bonnie. Bearing a new life is really the most magnificent miracle in this world, and I’ll never forget the closeness I felt for you and your dad the moment you were born.
December, 29th, 1979
~Mummy
This morning, for the first time, you slept till 8:15 which was a real relief for me, seeing as 6:30 is your usual waking time. You still haven’t got a tooth yet, but you’re completely mobile now, except for walking on your own. You dance, sing, and clap your hands, you even run to me when your dad chases you. You don’t like having a bath. I don’t think you mind the water, but as soon as I start to wash you, you become scared and want to get out of the tub. Your doctor said you would have learning difficulties and react in strange ways to some things. But I think she’s being ridiculous. You are just human. Like all of us. Being premature has nothing to do with anything.
For your first
Christmas, you got a sing-songy telephone, a scooter, a lamp, a stuffed dog with a puppy, a couple of wooden chess boards (silly uncles), a Paddington Bear, a cup, bowl and saucer with Peter Rabbit on them, plastic stacking blocks and a music box.
You keep opening and closing the music box. And every time the tinkling begins and the ballerina starts to spin, you want to put her in your mouth. I had to take it away so you wouldn’t break her. I think you will love the music box so much when you learn that you don’t need to eat it. I’m sorry it made you cry when I took it away, but I know you will understand it was for the best.
I was hoping we would have a good first Christmas with you and we did, it was excellent. Our next one should be even better.
I love you sweetheart.
January 3rd, 1980
~Mummy
I forgot to mention that we are going to give you this book when you’re older, but every time I write in it you want to chew it. I hate saying no to you but you want everything. It’s not enough that you have most things. I also need to encourage John to write in it more. It was his idea. He started it. I wish he would follow through. At least with something that could one day be such a treasure for you.
January 4th, 1980
~Mummy
Today you received an early birthday present from Grandma and Grandpa Miller. A truck and a beautiful old wrist watch from your great grandmother. I’ll keep it for you until you’re old enough to take care of it. Also, this morning you got a second tooth, now you have two upper front teeth, my little bunny rabbit.
January 12th, 1980
~Mummy
Bonnie, today was your first birthday and your dad and I love you more and more every day. You do such beautiful things and you’re always making us laugh because you’re such a character. You are the best little dancer I’ve ever seen, you really adore music. I baked a cake for your birthday and your dad and I decorated it together. You’re very special to both of us and we love you very much.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
May 10th, 1980
~Mummy
You’ve started to walk now and every day you go a little further with a bit more confidence. I can’t stop watching you, it’s just wonderful. John missed your first step. He was late home from work. He made stupid excuses. I know it gets hard for him sometimes. You are quite the handful. He’s the one who keeps telling me that all you need is love. I wish he believed his own advice.
January 12th, 1981
~Mummy
Today is your 2nd birthday. When we ask you how old you are, you answer, “2” with a curt nod. You say a lot of words, but no sentences as yet, but it won’t be long, I’m sure. John and I got you a rocking horse for your birthday among other presents from your little crèche friends and your family.
But all you’re interested in right now is the jar of buttons I have on my dresser. I was reluctant to let you play with them, but thankfully you’ve gotten over putting everything in your mouth now.
One day when John was sitting on the living room floor with you, you asked for them. He spread them all over the rug and you both sat there, cross-legged, for over an hour, playing with them and talking about who knows what. I kept walking past just to look at your face and you seemed so enthralled! When you both stood up, and I went in gather to them up and put them back in the jar, the buttons were sorted into colours. John is brilliant at teaching you things. And he has so much patience with you. I wish he’d managed to be that patient with me.
You are a happy and secure little thing, though John and I haven’t been living together since last June. But then, you have a lot of people who love you very much.
December 28th, 1981
~Mummy
These are some events of the recent past Bonnie:
On May 16th, you, me and Ted went overseas to Germany. You were excited about going on a plane, but I’m afraid it was a bit much for you (and us). The whole time you were sick with a throat infection and your crying made everybody on the plane shoot us dirty looks.
We stayed in Munich for one day. There, you were very sick, but put up with our running around so well. The three of us decided to have a sleep in the afternoon after our long flight. Ted and I were so tired we left you to your own devices. You must have slept too, but when you woke up and we were still sleeping, you decided to wake Ted up by wetting on him—we couldn’t stop laughing!
We went to Hof the next day. There we stayed with Gertie and Fritz, Ted’s uncle and aunt. You became very close to them. You learned to use a toboggan in their fake backyard slope. You liked it a lot with Ted. I’m glad you like him. You also rode on a tricycle with us, which you loved too.
You really adored it there. You learned how to speak a little German and to understand a lot. What a shame you won’t remember all the great things you experienced there, but remember one thing, everyone got to know you and love you and you had a great time.
We arrived back home with everyone waiting for us on November 12th. You didn’t forget anyone. Daddy was there with Mary. Oh, and of course, Ted’s brother too. This whole time you’ve been talking so well. You surprised everyone.
Well, you’ve had your 3rd Christmas. This time you had a much better idea about what was going on. You saw Father Christmas at the mall and sat on his lap. He asked you what you wanted for Christmas and you said you wanted green lebküchen!
You call the Christmas tree a “Father Christmas tree.” You were so overwhelmed with all the presents you were showered with. But you still prefer the wrapping and the bows and ribbons to what is actually inside them. One of the presents you received was decorated with feathers. You can’t stop stroking them. I’m not sure if it’s my imagination, but the look on your face when you do so is rather melancholic, as if you’re mourning the death of the bird it came from ... but I’m probably looking too much into it.
On the 24th we went to see Oma and Opa, Ted’s parents, in Springvale. You never want to leave there. In Germany, the big day is Christmas Eve, so the family gave you your presents then. On Sunday, you had a lunch with your father and Mary, and then another Christmas lunch at Grandma and Grandpa Miller’s in the afternoon. If only my parents were still alive to meet their beautiful grandchild.
Ted and I then picked you up to take you to Ted’s brother’s to play with his kids. You had a very busy Christmas day. You enjoyed every bit of the attention given to you. But it’s funny, sometimes you go really quiet. Not a bad quiet. You have an odd expression of contentment on your face. I like to think you are just leisurely reflecting on your day.
I wish I could keep note of all the funny things you do and say. One thing I love is that you kiss whatever part of the body you can reach. Anything from bums, toes to armpits!
Merry Christmas, my darling Bonnie. I love you more each day. There is so much you give to all that know you, especially me.
December 29th, 1981
~Mummy
I just thought I’d write down some of my thoughts about you and my life with you.
Bonnie, I’m overawed when I think of the short time you have been alive. Barely three years. Yet I can’t remember how life for me was before you, or how I ever lived before you came along.
I don’t know how things will be for you when you realise what Mummy and Daddy mean. Your father loves you as I do, but so does Ted. He’s not your real father, but he has done everything a father would. Especially love you. He gives you so much of it. It would be nice if one day you could call him Daddy instead of “my Ted.” But I suppose that’s my fault for introducing him as a friend in the beginning. I didn’t really have much choice as I didn’t know what I wanted then. But, one thing led to the other, and it just felt like the right thing to do. For you.
I will never forget what love with your father was like, you came from it and no one can regret that. We all love you so much. I know our decision not to live together might bring you hardships, but I hope my love for you may take away any doubts or confusion you might
experience.
Bonnie, sometimes you make life hard for me. You throw lots of tantrums and you always want your own way. Especially when it comes to sweets. You also have such clumsy moments and you hurt yourself. Today, you went to the toilet alone and the seat fell down on your nose. You’ve got quite a lump, tomorrow it will probably be a bruise. Poor thing. I think it hurts me more than it does you.
Most of the time though, my love, you’re a well-behaved angel. I can take you anywhere and feel assured that you won’t break things or make things difficult. You’re mostly very sociable and good-natured. Although everyone says you have Ted’s temper. Funny, they also say you have his nose! I don’t bother telling them that he is your stepdad. It would just end up being a long and irrelevant conversation.