by Laura Wright
She pushed away from him and smiled, nodding enthusiastically.
After everyone had said their goodbyes, Jared followed Ava and Lily out to the driveway, watching as Ava got into the car with her daughter. He stared after them, a renewed feeling of loss sweeping over him as they took off down the driveway in a flurry of dust.
Maybe it was better just to leave things as they were, he thought as their car disappeared from view. She was never going to give him what he needed to hear—that she hadn't loved him—that there was nothing between them, then or now.
"She has become a beautiful woman." Muna came to stand beside him on the edge of the gravel driveway.
"Yes."
"Her daughter is very much like her."
He nodded.
"But she has her father's eyes."
Surprised, he turned to look at the old woman. How in the hell would she know something like—
"Truth is hidden in the heart, but seen in the eyes." She touched his face gently. "You don't see what's right in front of you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Lily is your child, Jared."
* * *
Four
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Ava lifted her face to the cool shower spray and sighed. Nope. Still sweating. Maybe I should switch it to cold.
It was close to ten o'clock at night and excessively warm. Rita's air-conditioning was on the fritz, but that wasn't the only thing that was keeping Ava's temperature high. She knew she was also suffering the aftereffects of being in Jared's presence today—as well as in the unsettling enclosure of his arms.
Within the confines of the royal-blue shower curtain, a fine mist held in the air around her, while above her, beads of water pelted her face and neck as if she were a flower in a summer storm.
And damn, if she wasn't close to wilting.
How could so many things happen in one day? she wondered wearily, letting her head fall to her chest, allowing the water to cascade down her back. Today, she'd seen and talked to her father and he'd met Lily. He'd invited them to the house with a look of what Ava could only describe as tenderness on his weary face, and he'd treated his granddaughter with respect. A surprising set of events. No, shocking was more like it. Rita had told Ava he'd changed. But to what degree, she wasn't sure. And did she even believe it? Did she even want to believe it?
One thing she was sure of, involving herself and Lily in a new relationship with Ben Thompson would be a risk.
Ava slashed a hand across her wet face. She just wanted the pain in her heart to fade away. Pain she'd received as her heritage from her father, pain she'd passed on to Jared who'd loved her.
Jared.
Her Cheyenne warrior. The man to whom she'd given her love and her virginity so many moons ago. Today, he'd stood beside her at the barn door watching Lily with the horses. A serene atmosphere. But she could sense that his mood was far from calm.
But neither was hers, if truth be told. She had encountered such feeling later that day when he'd almost kissed her. Curse her weak soul. She'd wanted him to kiss her. She'd melted against him, wanting to taste him again and again. But Jared had quickly released her, perhaps remembering why she was there, and began to fire questions at her, demanding answers she'd been too cowardly to give him.
Ava turned and let the jets pound her neck and back. Tomorrow morning she would return to Jared's ranch and tell him the truth once and for all.
Fear coursed through her at the thought, but she willed it away. She would stand her ground with him and take what was coming to her.
Grabbing the bar of lavender-scented soap from the wall caddy, she worked lather between her palms then began to soap herself. Her legs and hips, then upward to her stomach and breasts. In her mind's eye she saw Jared, his black hair loose and splayed across her smooth chest, his mouth on her breast, his tongue laying her nipple. An ache deep in her core—one that had been imprisoned far too long—awoke with a husky cry.
She moved the soap higher to somewhere safe and tried to will those sensuous thoughts away. But they didn't obey. They returned full throttle. She saw her body entwined with Jared's—one dark and one light—heavy with sweat on a bed of hay in an abandoned stall. Would she ever be able to rid that night from her mind? Would she ever be able to be with another man and not see Jared's face? Or would she forever see his smoky-gray eyes fixed on hers as she rode the waves of pleasure?
Ava closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of lavender. But this time, the soap's mild fragrance did little to calm her and she put it back in its niche and rinsed off.
Obviously it wasn't just the deceptions of the past that had her trembling. It wasn't just the heat that had her feeling things she hadn't felt in four years—things she never thought she'd feel again. It was Jared, and the way he looked at her when their eyes locked and their lips were a mere breath away. Being close to him was like standing near a volcano. Consciously, you knew it wasn't erupting, but you always felt as though it could at any time.
And if it did, you knew you'd be lost in its heat forever.
Taking a deep breath, she turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. Hoping for a cool breeze to rush in from the open window, she was disappointed, but not surprised, at the humid puff of air that barely made contact with her sensitive skin.
She quickly towel-dried her hair and slipped on her comfy powder-blue robe.
Bed. Sleep. No two words had ever sounded so good, she mused, as she walked down the hall to her room quietly so she wouldn't wake Lily. Ava cracked a smile as she opened her bedroom door. Waking up Lily would be close to impossible after such an exciting day.
From the center of her room came a click, then warm yellow light assaulted her eyes and filled the small space. Ava gasped, her gaze scanning the room as a sudden breeze blew through her window. Pulse racing, she could only stare. Jared Redwolf sat on the overstuffed chair by her bed, his arms crossed over his chest and a scowl that would make a grown man quake in his boots fixed on his lips.
"No more running away, Ava."
Jared's voice was like ice, his eyes hooded and dangerous. Ava felt as if her breath was slowly being cut off. She wanted to run, but she stood her ground.
"What … what are you doing in here?" she stuttered, glancing over her shoulder before closing the door behind her.
His eyes narrowed as if inspecting her. "Muna mentioned something interesting to me after you left."
"Did she?" Ava asked a little weakly.
He nodded. "Something about me—and Lily."
Ava's stomach dipped. "Lily…"
"Can you guess what it was?"
Ava bit her lip. Yes, she could guess. Quite easily, in fact. Muna … the Seer. Ava's pulse quickened. Was it possible that the older woman had seen too much?
"Can you guess, Ava?" he asked again, this time with husky force.
With a small laugh, Ava said stupidly, "Was it how you both love horses?"
Jared sniffed. "No. Something far more personal. Something that brought me all the way out here. Something that had me climbing up that naked, rotting tree out there and into your room."
He knew. Or at the very least suspected. "We could talk this over tomorrow," she said lamely. "I'll come to the house."
Jared didn't move, just stared at her.
Ava's hands started to tremble and she shoved them into the pockets of her robe. "It's late. Rita's right below us and Lily's just a few doors down."
His gaze pierced her very soul as he said in a dangerous tone, "Muna said she thought Lily looked like her father."
Ava felt the color drain from her face. She wasn't ready for this. The look on his face, the guilt in her heart, the foolish hope that he might forgive her and want them both in his life again still hovering inside her.
"Eyes like her father, is what she said," Jared continued, his own eyes blazing steel fire under the arched brow he shot at her. "What do you think?"
"Jared, I…"
A muscle flicked in his jaw. "Is Lily my child?"
Her breathing grew shallow and she took an involuntary step back.
His lips thinned. "So help me, Ava, if you try to skirt around this—"
"I won't. I'm not." She closed her eyes and shook her head, her wet hair slapping against her face. "This is not how I wanted to tell you."
"Looks to me like you weren't planning on telling me at all." His tone went black as night. "Say it, Ava."
She pulled her robe closer around her. "Yes." Her voice was only a notch above a whisper. "She's yours, Jared."
He muttered an oath. Then another. Then he stood up and walked over to the window. "Lily…"
Silence filled the room. Tension filled the air as Jared stared out the window and Ava stared after him, her heart aching with regret, with thoughts of what could have been if she'd had the guts to stand up to her father.
"That little girl." Jared's voice broke with emotion. "That sweet, feisty little girl with copper hair and gray eyes is mine?"
Ava's eyes filled with tears. "Yes."
He turned back to face her and she'd hoped his eyes would be tender still thinking of his daughter, but his face was a mask of rage. "Do you have any idea what you've done?"
Ava stiffened, his ire pulsating through her. "I was only trying to protect her—"
"Protect her from what?" he demanded.
"Don't look at me like that, Jared."
"From the big, bad, filthy half breed who was too poor to provide for you and yours, too worthless to make it off your father's ranch?"
She shook her head, said vehemently, "No!"
"You didn't come to me and tell me you were pregnant because you thought I couldn't support you and Lily." His voice was low and overflowing with contempt.
She stared at him, her heart hammering against her ribs, her mind searching for the right words. But nothing was coming. Only the truth. But telling Jared the truth, telling him that her father was ready to toss him and Muna out of their home, would only serve to confirm his belief that she didn't think he could provide for a family. Her stomach twisted into knots. She didn't want that. She didn't want him to hate her—hate his daughter's mother.
"What about the guy?" he asked.
"What guy?"
"Your husband, Ava." Jared crossed the room in seconds, stood inches from her. "Did he know?"
Did he know? She wanted to laugh, perhaps with a touch of hysterics. There was no husband. In fact, there'd never been anyone but Jared in her life. No one but Jared in her bed. But she couldn't say so, could she? To Jared, another man was the reason she'd left.
She closed her eyes momentarily, needing to grasp hold of her bearings. Clearly she and Jared were over, and the threat her father had placed on him and Muna was past history. What difference would telling him about her lack of husband make now? The most important thing was Lily. Her little girl deserved the father she'd been wanting for so long and Ava was going to do everything in her power to make sure that happened. Whatever it took.
When Ava opened her eyes again, Jared was staring at her, waiting for an answer.
"My husband knew about Lily," she said, feeling ashamed with every word she uttered.
"So you only lied to one of us, then?" he muttered.
"Jared, I'm so sorry. I was young and scared. I didn't think—"
"You sure as hell didn't think." He scrubbed a hand over his face, and the anger in his eyes was gradually replaced with misery. "You had no faith in me, Ava. You couldn't see that someday I was going to make good—that if you stood by me for just a little while, you would've had everything you ever wanted." The small scar at his temple twitched, his eyes narrowed as he regarded her suspiciously. "But you see that now, don't you? Did you really just come back here for your sister's wedding?"
She went cold. "What do you mean?"
"I'm no poor ranch hand, now, darlin'," he drawled with heavy sarcasm.
"Jared, you're talking crazy—"
"Here's what's crazy." His tone was low, menacing. "You know what you've done, Ava? You've turned me into my father. With everything I've done in my life to be different from him, you've managed to turn me into that worthless good-for-nothing sperm donor who wanted nothing to do with his child."
The words hit Ava in the gut and she lowered her gaze, shame fisting her heart. She knew Jared's history, his vow to create a different kind of life than the one he was given and the pain he had from a father who'd left him and his mother.
Jared was watching her, his eyes softening for a moment. "Why didn't you tell me, Ava?"
"I tried."
"Once. You tried once."
Guilt jabbed at her. He was right. She had tried once. And when he'd rebuffed her, she'd slunk away. His slight had been enough for her. She'd wanted to forget Paradise, her father, the love of the man she thought she could never have and who had obviously moved on with his life and into the bed of another.
"I'm so sorry," she began, her vulnerable side appealing to his. "I wanted to tell you. I swear it."
But he'd already returned to resentment. "You swear it? That's funny. Do you think I'd believe anything you say now?"
"Jared, you and I need to—"
"There's no you and I." He brushed past her and walked to the door, his boots clicking on the hardwood floors. It was a sound she'd once embraced. Long ago, it had meant he was coming to her. Tonight, it meant he was leaving.
"Listen well, darlin'," he said coldly. "I'm not going to let you keep me from my child ever again."
Her chest tight, Ava turned and watched him walk out the door, closing it softly and carefully behind him. Even in his anger, he was thinking about his sleeping child in the next room. He would have been a wonderful father, but she'd never given him the chance. Fear had guided her every movement and she'd have to live with that for the rest of her life.
Was he right? she wondered, wandering over to the bed and collapsing atop the cool sheets. Had she followed her father's orders because she hadn't believed that Jared was capable of taking care of her and Lily and Muna?
No. No. She was trying to protect them all.
Tears of anger and frustration welled in her throat. Her sister had never understood her motivation for leaving Paradise, and now it was obvious that Jared wouldn't, either.
Fear gripped her as she thought about his last words to her and the punch of revenge in his voice. What had he meant about keeping Lily from him? He wouldn't actually try to take her daughter away, would he?
A hot tear rolled down Ava's cheek as she hugged her pillow to her chest. She'd only allowed herself to cry once in the past four years. She was long overdue.
* * *
Astride his favorite Appaloosa, Jared rode hell-bent for leather across the plains and skidded to a stop just above Ben Thompson's sprawling ranch, a place now weathered and worn from lack of care. It was late, close to two in the morning and Jared couldn't sleep. He'd tried to bury his nose in work. He'd even tried burning sage in his sweat lodge. Nothing had worked. The words spoken between he and Ava tonight—the acknowledgment that Lily was his flesh and blood—it was too much for a man to hold in his mind without air and open sky.
He had a child.
God, the thought gripped him to the core.
A beautiful, sweet baby that he'd never seen until yesterday. It was wondrous news, yet his anger at her mother attempted to slay his joy.
How could Ava have kept something like this from him? How! Her ridiculous mumblings about protecting the child… It was ludicrous.
Tomorrow he would call a private detective friend of his and see about protecting himself this time. He didn't want Ava bolting again, taking Lily with her. And then there was the ex-husband to consider. Jared needed to find out where the man was and if he had any claim on Lily.
In the meantime, he thought gazing down at Ben Thompson's poorly neglected ranch, he'd be careful about pressing Ava. She might get scared and bolt again and he couldn't risk that. H
e wanted to be with his daughter too much to risk that.
Under the starry sky and massive full moon, Jared's gaze caught on the roof of the tack shed he'd spent so much time in, preparing for his future.
The small shed was also the place where he'd met her, where he'd made love to her—where he'd gone after her father had told him foully to pack up his grandmother and his tomahawk and get the hell off his land.
Beneath Jared, his horse snorted as if he'd heard the racial slur in his master's mind. Obviously Ben had known that his daughter carried a mixed blood's child and couldn't stand having Jared on his property. It all made sense.
And now that property was in financial trouble, Jared mused with a sinful grin. Well, he'd wanted to pay Ben Thompson back for some time, hadn't he? And that need had never carried such a feeling of desperation as it did now.
Yes, he thought, turning his horse around and crying out into the black night for the Appaloosa to run home, seeing that man, that place and all its old memories destroyed might just satisfy his taste for revenge once and for all.
* * *
The afternoon sunlight followed Lily as she skipped along the lakeshore, the pale yellow beams pausing with her as she spied a particularly shiny rock and stopped to scoop it up. With a gleeful cheer, she grabbed it, tossed it as far into the water as she could, then whipped around to smile at her mother and her aunt Rita.
From the grassy hill just above the water, two sisters sat side by side—Rita waving, Ava smiling with pride at the little girl she'd raised all by herself. Her sweet, sassy daughter.
Hers and Jared's.
Ava pulled her bare legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. Last night was still very much on her mind. Guilt at her cowardly past and fear of what Jared was planning to do in the near future had haunted her through the wee hours. But she felt stronger today. And very protective. Of course, she wanted Lily to have a relationship with Jared. But she wasn't going to let anyone take her daughter from her. Even her daughter's father.
Beside her, Rita laughed as she watched Lily follow a bullfrog, hunched over, leaping forward with her hands and feet and making "ribbet" noises.
