by Laura Wright
Starring Lake was working its magic, Ava mused, grabbing some suntan lotion from her bag. It almost made her forget her own set of troubles. More like an ocean's cove than a lake, Starring could make even the shallowest spirits soar. Hidden by rock and brush and virtually unpopulated, it took hard work to hike up the rocky hill and maneuver your way down through the tall brush to the lake's shore.
But it was worth it.
Paradise within Paradise, Jared used to call it. A perfect circle of blue, a beautiful valley of water surrounded by flower-dotted hillside. No boats could get in or out, so there was no pollution and plenty of wildlife. Years ago, they had found this place together and it had been their refuge, an oasis where no one could find them.
"It's been three hours, sis," Rita said, prying Ava from her thoughts. "I don't think he's coming."
Ava nodded. After breakfast that morning, she'd called Jared. She'd wanted to ask him to meet her, to talk, see what they could work out. But no one had been home.
"Maybe he hasn't gotten the message," her sister suggested.
"Maybe he did," Ava said glumly.
Rita took a sip of orange soda. "You could go to him."
"I thought of that, but I don't want to descend on him unwelcome and unannounced. I thought this would be the perfect place. Calm, no people—he could see Lily."
"He's angry, Ava."
"I know and I don't begrudge him that." She chewed her lower lip thoughtfully. "I'm just afraid of what he might do."
"He's a good man, Ava. He needs some time to let it all sink in. Becoming a father overnight is a major deal."
"I know." Ava started cleaning up the remnants of their picnic. They had gobbled up all their lunch and played a dozen games. It was time to go home. But Lily didn't look ready to go, she thought, watching the little girl with the frog she'd finally managed to corner. Lily wanted to play in the water and go fishing. She liked to look at all the tall plants and tiny water creatures that swam amongst them. Anyone could see that in the little girl's mind, Paradise was already becoming familiar and favored. Ava couldn't help but wonder how she was going to get Lily back on that plane to New York.
"Ava, look." Rita gestured toward the hillside, her voice eager.
It was him. Ava's pulse skittered alarmingly. She slipped on a pair of shorts over her bikini bottoms and watched as he walked down the hill toward them wearing the kind of jeans that spoke volumes about his maleness. Faded, fitted and rough. Without his Stetson, his hair hung loose to his shoulders, its dark color glossy against his black T-shirt.
He looked dark and dangerous and she wished right then and there that he still belonged to her.
She watched as Lily raced toward him, all innocence and adoration. Jared scooped her up and held her, his eyes closing, his ruggedly handsome face etched with sadness and longing. The picture of them together sent a flash of grief rippling through Ava. How many times had she dreamed of such a sight? A hundred? A thousand?
After many long moments, Jared put Lily down, said something to her, then pointed to where Ava sat. The little girl nodded and scampered back to the lakeside and her frog.
Rita touched Ava's hand. "I'm going to take my niece for a swim. You going to be all right?"
I don't know. But to Rita she uttered a firm, "Fine," and gave her a half smile, then watched her walk down the little path toward the lake, passing Jared with a quick, "Hello," on the way.
Jared gave Rita a nod, but he offered no greeting to Ava as he approached, just sat down next to her and said resolutely, "I want to see Lily."
"And I want you to," Ava answered, her anxiety threatening to steal her breath.
"Every day."
"Okay."
His jaw tight, Jared clipped her a nod. "Bring her by the ranch around noon tomorrow for a visit."
He wasn't going to take Lily, she thought. He wanted to know her, spend time with her, but he wasn't going to try and take her from her mother. Relief poured through Ava like a glass of ice tea on a hot day and she told him brightly, "We'll be there."
Jared cut her a sideways glance, his expression cool. Then his gaze flickered downward, his jaw tightening as he roamed the length of her. Bare legs, black shorts, exposed midriff, and black bikini top. Ava felt her cheeks warm as he paused at the gentle slope of her breasts, which tingled beneath his gaze, their peaks just visible through the thin fabric of her bathing suit top.
He thrust a hand through his hair and looked away. "We'll be there," he repeated tightly. "Don't trust me alone with Lily even now, is that it?"
"No, that's not it," Ava said gently. "Lily just won't understand why she's there if I don't come along."
"Well, then, let's tell her the truth."
Ava grabbed his arm. "No!" It was such a violent outburst, she almost frightened herself.
"Why the hell not?"
"I don't want to upset her."
He shot her another contemptuous look. "More like you don't want her to be upset with you. You don't want her to know that her mother kept her away from her father."
At such bitter truth, tears huddled in Ava's throat. "Maybe not."
Jared stared at her, then his gaze fell once again to her breasts. He cursed and looked away. "Couldn't you have worn something decent?"
"We're at the lake, Jared," she said with a stiff sounding chuckle. Though secretively, she was glad she still affected him. It was all she had left. And Lord knew he still affected her something awful. "You're right about me not wanting my daughter to be angry with me, but I'm trying not to base my judgments on that fear."
He turned to face her once again, but didn't respond.
"Jared, I just think that you should let her get to know you. Let her feel comfortable and secure around you before we tell her." Again, he said nothing and she added quietly, "But maybe you're too angry with me to see that."
His brows slanted gravely. "I'd never hurt my child."
She tried to smile. "I know you wouldn't. How about if we decide when it's best to tell her."
"Together?"
She nodded. "Together."
He nodded, then started to stand up.
Ava couldn't stop herself. She grabbed his arm and said without thinking, "I'm glad you know the truth, Jared. So many times I wanted to—"
He cut her off with a simmering look. "Let's make something clear. I'm not going to forgive you for what you've done. My only interest is in Lily." He stood up and walked away, walked down the hillside toward the little girl playing at the water's edge in her bumblebee bathing suit. Spotting his descent, Lily waved and ran to him. He lifted her high in the air and she laughed.
Despair and happiness battled in Ava's heart as she watched the pair. But today she would concentrate on the latter, because today, her daughter had a father.
* * *
Five
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Jared tightened the vise on the dowel with a little too much force. What was it they said? Hard work and sweat cooled the brain?
He took off his hat and wiped his brow. Well, whoever they were, they didn't know a thing. It was midday, inching up on ninety degrees and he didn't feel cool inside or out. Anger still gripped him. His temper flared every time he thought about how Ava had deceived him. How she'd robbed him of four years with his daughter.
He snatched up a piece of sandpaper and began to smooth the wooden rod of the stick horse he was crafting for Lily, the weight of his strokes cutting quickly through the grain. It was the first step toward making his present to her shine. He wanted her to know that this gift of wood represented the beginning. Hell, he wanted her to love it, love him.
Not surprisingly, he hadn't gotten a minute of sleep last night, and early in the morning he'd given up and headed down to the small workshop attached to the barn. Ideas for a present for his daughter had flickered through his mind, one after the other. A new swing set? A dollhouse? What would make her the happiest? She loved horses and wanted to learn to ride, he'd reminded himself.
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Then he'd remembered how he'd learned to ride on a stick horse with handles coming out of its ears. The one his grandfather had made for his mother. Jared grinned. Some days it had felt as though he'd ridden all the way to Mexico on that horse.
It was one of the many things that had been left behind when he, his mother and Muna had moved from Oklahoma to Texas. When it had become obvious to his mother that his father was never going to show any interest in them.
Jared's smile turned a little sad as he remembered the brave face he'd put on when he'd spied the full car and the wooden playmate he'd had to leave behind.
The version he was making now wasn't nearly as grand or intricately carved, but it didn't matter. It was more important that Lily have something now, something from him, something of her own to play with.
"What's eating you, Redwolf?"
Jared glanced up and saw Tim Donahue, his burly ranch foreman, standing in the workshop doorway. From beneath his mop of graying blond hair, his brown eyes were curious.
"Nothing's eating me."
Tim chuckled. "Gotta be something. You look down in the mouth." He walked into the room and over to the workbench, ran a hand over the smooth wood pole. "Who's this for?"
Jared hesitated. He'd promised Ava that they wouldn't tell Lily he was her father until the time was right. But did that promise extend to others? he wondered. After all, Tim was a friend. And though he was a good twenty years older than Jared, he'd become something of a brother over the past four years. Someone Jared confided in. Hell, he knew the story of Ava leaving, and he knew that she was back in Paradise.
Jared rubbed a hand over his jaw. He wanted to tell Tim, but he just couldn't risk that information getting out no matter how trustworthy his friend had always proven himself to be. He needed to be sure that he was the one to tell his daughter the truth.
He gave Tim a neutral smile. "It's for a girl named Lily."
"Lily, huh?" Tim grinned widely, picking up a hammer and, without being asked, began to secure the leather straps for the stick horse's bridal with upholstery tacks. "This girl, she's what? Twenty-two?"
"Try three and a half."
Bewilderment marked Tim's sun-weathered face. "What are you doing hanging around three-year-olds?"
"I'm not hanging around—"
"Especially when Ava's back in town?"
The sound of her name startled Jared and his hand fisted around the handle of the vise. "I told you before, Donahue, Ava and I are history."
"Right. Right. So you did." Tim scratched his bearded jaw. "So then maybe this stick horse you're making is about getting in good with little Lily's mother, whoever she may be? Well, good for you."
Jared sighed with frustration. "Did you want something, Donahue? Or did you come in here to annoy me?"
Tim shrugged lightly. "I thought you might want some help, boss. That's all."
"Well, get to helping then."
On a chuckle, Tim held up the metal object. "I got a hammer in my hand, don't I?"
"I thought that was for me to crack you over the head with whenever you asked a stupid question," Jared replied.
Tim snorted. "Yeah, that's possible."
Brow raised in mock agitation, Jared said, "I'd be more than happy to prove it."
Tim shot back with a grin. "You and what five hands?"
Muna's laughter floated on the breeze behind them. "Always the same. Working side by side, bronzed backs, tall as oaks and wrangling like two bobcats over a deer."
Tim jumped over the head of the hobbyhorse and gave the old woman a peck on the cheek. "Ne-tone tomohta-he, Muna?"
"I am well." She smiled. "Hahoo, Tim."
Jared grunted. "You don't need to thank him, Muna. Just don't teach him any more Cheyenne."
"Why not?"
"He uses it to pick up women." Jared scooped up the wooden horse's head and carried it outside.
"Where's the harm in that?" Muna asked, walking beside him.
Tim followed, his smile wide. "Yeah. What's wrong with that?"
"Pretending to be something you're not?" Jared felt their light banter turn suddenly as he gently placed the horse down on the grass. Perhaps his mood, his experience with Ava was driving the conversation now. "It's lying, plain and simple."
Tim's brows shot together in an affronted frown. "You need to lighten up, boss." He broke into a chuckle. "Look, I give you my word, I won't use your language to seduce little Lily's mother."
"You've met Ava, then?" Muna asked Tim quickly.
Tim's eyes widened to the size of silver dollars. "So, Ava's Lily's mother, huh? I get it now." He grinned at Muna. "No, Muna darlin', I haven't had the pleasure of meeting Ava, but I've heard a lot about her."
Jared shot his friend one helluva an unfriendly glare, then took a mental step back. What was his problem? Why was he getting so irritated at Tim's innocent ribbing regarding a woman he no longer cared anything about?
As if on cue, Ava's rental car passed through the gates. Despite his previous thought, Jared felt the corners of his mouth turn up into a smile. There was Lily, sitting in the back seat, waving like crazy.
Tim eyed Jared. "Cute kid."
"Yep."
"And her mother, Ava. Beautiful name."
"She's a beautiful woman," Muna said, shielding her eyes from the sun.
Tim chuckled. "Is that so?"
"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Jared muttered.
"Nope."
Jared watched Ava pull into the driveway and park. Dammit, he was pleased to see them both. Not just his daughter, he realized with frustration, but both of them. Well, maybe that was a good thing. He didn't want Lily to pick up on his anger at Ava. No. He would be cordial to her. Making them both as comfortable as possible.
Ava stepped out of the car with a tentative smile and jeans that looked so good they should be outlawed. Jared broke out into a whole new kind of sweat. The faded denim was molded to her toned legs and rounded hips, while her white tank top showed off every hill and valley she possessed.
As she walked toward them, Tim let out a long wolf whistle. Jared didn't have the time to slug the foreman because just then his daughter ran straight for him and propelled herself into his arms. She weighed less than one of his saddle blankets and her auburn hair smelled of sunshine. He held her above him, and she giggled delightfully.
"I'm all sweaty, Little Star," he said, using his grandmother's nickname for her.
"I don't care." She dropped down against his chest and squeezed him tight. "How's Tayka? Did she have her baby yet?"
"Nope, not yet." He held her a little away from him. "I promised I'd let you be here to see, don't you remember?"
She nodded, then caught sight of something behind him. Her eyes went wide. "What's that?"
Jared glanced over his shoulder. "It's a hobbyhorse. Your hobbyhorse."
"Mine? For my birthday?"
Jared froze. Her birthday. He had no idea that it was her birthday. His heart darkened with pain when he thought of how many birthdays he'd already missed. Anger surfaced again, gripping him, but he forced it back. Lily was still in his arms and he didn't want her to feel his tension.
"When's your birthday, sweetheart?" he asked the little girl he held in his arms and his heart.
"I'll be four in six months," she said proudly.
"Four already," he said with a teasing grin, relieved that he had so much time to plan for her big day.
"Look, Mommy," Lily called excitedly as Ava approached. Lily pointed to the stick horse. "It's a horsie for me!"
Ava smiled lovingly at her daughter. "It's beautiful, Lil."
"Come with me, Little Star," Muna said, holding out her hand. "We will take a closer look."
Lily wriggled out of Jared's arms and ran to Muna. Jared watched his child race over to the wood horse and embrace it, then he turned back to Ava.
Her gaze was fixed on Lily and the horse. "I didn't see that when we were here before. Where did it come from?"
Ava's gaze snapped to his. "Oh, Jared…" She touched his arm, then jerked her hand back. "It's beautiful. You did a wonderful job."
"Thanks," he said tightly. "I had some help." Ava glanced over at Tim, who was hanging out behind Jared nudging an anthill with the tip of his boot. "I'm sorry for being so rude. I'm Ava Thompson." She blushed prettily, smiling at him. A bright, beautiful smile that made Jared's blood heat and something too close to jealously flare inside him. He looked over at Tim to see his reaction. His foreman was staring, entranced. Jared muttered an oath. He wanted to tell the guy that he'd better pick his jaw up off the ground before Jared did it for him. But Tim recovered from his ogling and stuck out his hand to Ava.
"Tim Donahue, ma'am."
"My foreman," Jared supplied dryly.
Ava smiled that killer smile again as she shook his hand. "It's nice to meet you, Tim."
"Likewise. I've heard a lot about you, and if you don't mind me saying so, Jared's description of you is dead on. You are as beautiful as a Texas sunset."
Ava blushed deeply this time, her gaze flickering in Jared's direction.
"You need to take yourself up out of here, Donahue," Jared growled. "Now."
Thankfully, Lily chose that moment to come running back into their awkward semicircle. "Can I ride the wood horsie, Jared? Please, please."
Jared looked at Ava and their eyes locked. Why the hell couldn't he move?
"I'll attach the rod and make sure everything's secure," Tim offered, a grin in his voice.
"Me and Mommy and Jared get to play all day," Lily told Tim as they walked away.
"Playing all day, huh?" Tim shot a long look at Ava over his shoulder before saying, "Sounds like fun."
Jared's lips thinned in anger. He didn't need his friend spurring him on with Ava. Tim knew all about his troubles with her—how long it took for him to get her out of his mind, out of his soul. Shoot, if Tim weren't such a dependable foreman, he'd be giving him the boot right after supper. Telling Ava what he'd said about how she looked! Hell. That was just plain low.
"You should go with them," Ava suggested, breaking the silence. "She's so excited for her day with you."
