Delirious

by Suzannah Daniels

  I hugged her tightly and pulled back to look at her. Her eyes were red and watery, and she looked exhausted. “Dara, I’m sorry that you overheard our conversation. And yes, I did tell my parents to cancel the wedding, but I was only referring to the wedding ceremony…not our marriage. I never stopped wanting to marry you.”

  Her lips parted in surprise. “But I heard you tell them to cancel it, and I heard you tell them money wasn’t the only reason.

  “So what other reason could there be, except for the fact that you don’t want to marry me?”

  I gritted my teeth and tilted my head. “That’s a little harder to explain.”

  “I’m listening.”

  I wiped away her lingering tears with my thumb and brushed a kiss across her forehead. “I have something else I want to do first.”

  Pressing my lips to hers, I kissed her gently. I ran my tongue along her lower lip, and she opened to me, her hands wrapping around my waist. I knew it’d only been a day, but it had been one of the most nerve-racking days I’d had in a while, and I wanted to comfort her and draw comfort from her. The relief flowing through my body was a welcome respite from the tension that had made my neck and shoulders ache.

  I wanted to do so much more, but I knew the time had come. Dreading her reaction, I reluctantly ended the kiss and motioned her into the house.

  She plopped down on the couch, and I sat down beside her and shifted sideways, so that I could watch her reaction.

  Scooping her small hands in mind, I gently squeezed them. “Dara, I love you more now than I ever have, and every morning I wake up and realize that I love you a little more than I did the day before. We are one of those great love stories that knows no boundaries, and I most definitely want to marry you. I mean, damn, I’ve been dreaming about our honeymoon for years.”

  The corners of her mouth tilted upward.

  Shit. I couldn’t do it.

  I was a complete wuss.

  “Then what’s going on, Stone? What made you want to cancel the wedding? And why would you take twenty-five thousand dollars from the business?”

  “I didn’t take it. I borrowed it.”

  “For what?”

  Lie. Lie. Lie. “I wanted to hire a contractor to begin work on our house. He required twenty-five thousand dollars up front, and I borrowed it from the company. I didn’t tell my dad or Dylan because I planned to pay it back over the next few months. I could liquidate some stocks if necessary.” I could feel beads of sweat popping out on my forehead. That was only a partial lie. I had already hired a contractor, but not with the twenty-five thousand dollars I’d gotten from the company.

  “Stone! Why didn’t you just ask them instead of taking it like that?”

  “I didn’t think it was gonna be such a big deal. I’m good for it, and I figured that I’d have it paid back before they knew about it. It’s not like my dad needs the money.

  “When my dad confronted me, I told him to cancel the wedding. I was just angry, and since they volunteered to pay for the wedding and he was worried about his money, I thought it might make him feel better to recoup some of his money by canceling the wedding.”

  “But you told them that money wasn’t the only reason that you wanted to cancel the wedding.”

  “That’s because I knew you’ve always wanted to be married under the willow tree at Quail Mountain Park. I know you only agreed to this big wedding to please my parents.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “How did you know I wanted to be married there?”

  “You told me once. It’s been a few years ago, but I remember you telling me how you thought it would be the perfect place to get married. You think I don’t really listen, but Dara, I’m interested in everything about you.”

  She covered her heart with her palm. “Stone,” she whispered. “I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry for doubting you, for not giving you the chance to explain. It’s just…when I heard you yelling to cancel the wedding…I thought…I thought….”

  “I know what you thought, but you were wrong.” I hugged her. “Baby, I told you it was just you and me. I meant it.”

  “I wish we could get married right now,” she whispered in my ear.

  “Nothing’s stopping us.”

  “Did your parents cancel the wedding?”

  “Are you kidding? Have you met my mother?”

  “Then we have to wait,” she said, her soft fingers splayed across my cheeks as she kissed me. She began unbuttoning my shirt. “But we can practice for the honeymoon.”

  When her warm tongue teased my neck, I grabbed her firmly by the hips, pulling her to me. It felt good to hold her in my arms. It felt good to see her happy. But I’d hidden the truth from her again, and if it ever surfaced, I didn’t know how it would affect her.

  Chapter 9

  Stone

  By the time I left Dara’s, it was dark outside, and she was sleeping. I kissed her temple, breathing in her scent. I couldn’t imagine ever loving anyone as much as I loved her.

  As good as it felt to have righted things between us, a crushing fear weighted my chest. I’d planned to tell her the truth. Everything had already exploded in my face once. If she ever found out what really happened, I’d be facing a second explosion, guaranteed to be even more damaging than the first.

  I hated lying to her, but I hated the thought of her hurting even more.

  I knew my father had told my mother the truth, and now I worried about how my mother was faring, too.

  Angry that I was put into this situation by such a nefarious person, I wondered what I could say to my mother to ease the pain that she must be feeling. Part of me wished that I’d pressed Dara to get married sooner. Or maybe we should’ve just eloped.

  I blew out a deep breath as I drove home. I was going to check on my mother. Then, I had an appointment with my bike and the Black Snake. Nothing could take my mind off my problems like a challenging ride on my crotch rocket.

  When I walked into the house, I found my father with the newspaper spread across the kitchen table, his reading glasses perched on the end of his nose. He glanced at me and raised his eyebrows, not saying a word.

  “Everything’s good,” I said, “but I couldn’t tell Dara the truth. I told her I borrowed the money to pay a deposit to the contractor who’s gonna build our house.”

  My father’s features reflected a subtle disapproval.

  “I know, Dad. But when I looked at her face, when I saw how happy she was when she realized that things weren’t as bad as she’d thought…. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell her. She’s been through so much shit in her life…I just couldn’t do it.”

  He folded his paper closed. “Don’t you think it would be better for her if she found out from you?”

  “Maybe, but I’m hoping she never finds out.”

  “And maybe she won’t. But if she does….”

  “I’ll deal with it then.” I exhaled loudly. “Where’s Mom?”

  She’s sitting on the patio.

  I left the kitchen, walked through the living room, and exited the back door that led to the patio.

  Mom was sitting at a bistro table with a cup of coffee. I kissed her cheek and sat in the wrought iron chair on the opposite side of the table. “So I guess Dad told you everything?”

  She sniffled, and I closed my eyes. She’d been crying, which was exactly why I hadn’t wanted her to know to begin with.

  “I don’t like it, Stone. How do you know he won’t show up?”

  “I paid him off, Mom. That was the deal.”

  “Surely you’re not so naïve as to think that someone who’s willing to blackmail you for money will keep his word?”

  “No, but what choice did I have?”

  “You could’ve called the police.”

  “And what could they have done?”

  She pushed her long, dark hair over her shoulder. “And what did Dara say?”

  “She doesn’t know.”

  My mother gasped. “
You haven’t told her?”

  “What would you like me to say, Mom? Hey, babe, I love you, and by the way, your piece-of-shit father is out of jail and he’s threatening to ruin our wedding if I don’t pay him off.”

  I shot up from the chair, the iron legs skittering across the stone patio. “Shit!” I strode to the railing and wrapped my hands around it, squeezing it firmly as I tried to find some way to suppress my anger. As I gazed at the valley below, the moonlight bathing it in silvery light, I wondered for the millionth time why life refused to cooperate. I wanted to be happy. I wanted Dara to be happy.

  I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt a headache working its way up behind my eyes. “I’m afraid, Mom. I’m afraid of how Dara will be affected if she finds out what her father has done.”

  “And what if he shows up and makes a scene? What will she think then?” My mother followed me to the railing.

  “I don’t know, but telling her won’t change anything. If he shows up, then he shows up. But he has what he wanted. Hopefully, he’ll take the money and leave town.”

  “Why can’t he just leave us alone?” I could hear the anger in her voice. “He killed my son. Was that not enough?”

  “Apparently not.”

  “Not only is he a murderer, but he’s a low-life opportunist, too.”

  Knowing my mother was hurting, I hugged her. “Don’t worry, Mom. He won’t be at the wedding. He’s got enough money to carry him until after the ceremony.” I exhaled, trying to release my own frustration, as well as the carbon dioxide. “I’ve got to go, Mom. It’ll be okay.”

  I left, unable to stand the thought of my mother hurting, unable to stand the thought of Dara getting hurt if things didn’t go the way I hoped. I needed to ride.

  After changing my clothing, I rode my motorcycle into the darkness. I headed toward the Black Snake, desperately wanting to rid my mind of all the thoughts that tormented me. I wanted to leave the evils of the world behind. I wanted to escape.

  Revving the throttle, I drew comfort from the fact that Dara’s gift, the gremlin bell, was safely secured to my bike. I bent low as I hugged curve after curve, my knee dangerously close to kissing the asphalt. My headlight peered into the moonlit night, providing glimpses of the road in front of me, and I wished the road could carry me away from reality, and I supposed it could, for a little while.

  The hum of the motor calmed me as it always had, and slowly, the anxiety that squeezed my lungs released me from its grasp. My brain focused on the curve of the road, my acceleration and deceleration, and my lean angle, and I welcomed the concentration that was required.

  Two hours later, I pulled back into the garage. Yanking off my helmet, I just sat there a moment, all the thoughts I’d been trying to avoid flooding back into my brain. I hated not knowing the best course of action.

  Was I doing the right thing? If I hadn’t been able to come to a decision at this point, the answer to that query would continue to elude me. It certainly wasn’t going to end my quandary by making an illuminating appearance in my head tonight.

  I flipped down the kickstand and swung my leg over the bike. Returning my helmet to the shelf that lined the garage wall, I ran my hands through my hair and headed to my bedroom.

  As I undressed, I tossed my clothes in my chair. Exhausted, I climbed into bed, my thoughts spinning in circles like the wheels of my motorcycle. Much like being on my bike, I was always in danger of slamming into the asphalt if I made one wrong move. Navigating my way on my bike came to me much easier than navigating my way through relationships, and I desperately hoped I hadn’t screwed up where Dara was concerned.

  I fell asleep remembering the look on her face when she’d thought I wanted to cancel the wedding.

  ***

  The next day, Dara and I were both slammed at work. Since we’d both missed Thursday, we were behind, and under my father’s tutelage, Hamilton Enterprises was thriving. I spent most of the day on the phone, increasing credit lines with suppliers as we prepared to open additional stores. I also scoped brick-and-mortar buildings in the markets in which we’d already decided to expand and set up appointments to physically look at the buildings.

  Dylan had been analyzing potential new markets to determine viable options for expansion. Dara worked daily on marketing with both our brick-and-mortars and our online businesses.

  We both worked late, and when I was ready to leave the office, I found her mesmerized by her computer screen.

  She didn’t see me, and I stood at her office door, observing her as her brow furrowed in concentration. Her dedication and work ethic were impressive, and as I watched her, I knew that she was the perfect mate for me. I cherished everything about her, her gentle demeanor, her loyalty, her thoughtfulness. Her outward beauty was breathtaking, but it was her inner beauty that had captured my heart.

  I hoped that she never had to find out what her father had done. She deserved much more than he’d ever been willing to give her.

  “It’s Friday night. You look like you could use some fun.”

  Tilting her head in my direction, she graced me with a dazzling smile. “Who says I’m not having fun?”

  I grunted. “I do.”

  “Did you have something better in mind?” she asked.

  I pushed off the door jamb and walked to her, pulling her out of her chair and into my arms, where she fidgeted with my tie. “Dinner and a movie?”

  “There is a new chick flick out that I’d like to see.”

  “Okay,” I agreed, kissing her temple. “I can keep myself occupied in a dark movie theater while you watch a chick flick.”

  She giggled. “How so?”

  “Mmm. That’s for me to know and you to find out.” My hand stroked her back, skimming along her slender figure until my fingers splayed over the curve of her ass.

  She cupped the nape of my neck, pulling me toward her until our lips met in a sensual kiss. She released a breathy sigh. “Let’s go, then.”

  “That’s what I like. A girl who knows what she wants. Let me go home and change, and I’ll pick you up at your place.”

  “Car or motorcycle?” she asked.

  “Which do you prefer?”

  “Motorcycle.”

  I touched her nose with my fingertip. “And that’s why we’re so perfect for each other.”

  After kissing her briefly, I pulled back. “You ready to go?”

  “Yeah, just let me shut down my computer and grab my purse.”

  Since we were the last ones out of the building, I held the office door open for her and locked it behind us. We walked the short distance to our vehicles. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  “Okay.” She climbed in her car.

  Scanning the parking lot, I half expected her father to show up, and I was relieved when nothing was out of the ordinary. She backed up, and I followed her as she left the parking lot.

  We parted ways at the intersection, and I sped up and rushed toward home, eager to forget all the shit swirling in my head and have a good time with her tonight.

  When I got home, my mother was loading the dishwasher in the kitchen. “Hey, Mom.”

  She turned and smiled. “Hey.”

  “Are you doing okay?”

  “As good as can be expected, I guess. It just worries me, you know?”

  “I know, but at this point, it’s out of our control.”

  “I hate him. Like really, really hate him.”

  I blew out a breath. “I get it, Mom. Believe me. But he’s Dara father, and I love Dara.”

  “I love her, too. In fact, I think you should tell her.”

  I shook my head. “I can’t. I just can’t do that to her.”

  “Then I hope he doesn’t come back. I hope she never finds out.”

  “So do I.” I stood silently a moment, hoping that he didn’t make an appearance at the wedding. He’d threatened to cause a scene, which would be embarrassing enough, but he’d also threatened to tell lies, lies that wouldn’t put m
e in a favorable light, lies that would embarrass my family, lies that, due to my past, I was terrified everyone would believe. Actually, I wasn’t worried about whether everyone would believe his lies. I was worried that Dara would believe them, and since they would be coming from her father, I feared that part of her would want to believe him. Even if she did believe me, the situation would still be painful for her.

  My mother watched me a moment more, then turned back to the dishes.

  Frustrated, I went to take a quick shower. Thirty minutes later, I carefully navigated my motorcycle over Dara’s gravel driveway and parked it in the yard.

  I pulled my helmet off, glad to be rid of it. Even though the sun was no longer directly overhead, it was still quite warm.

  I strolled up the steps, my booted feet thudding against the wooden planks, and let myself in. She was sitting on the couch, the TV playing in the background. Her foot rested on the edge of the cushion, her arms wrapped around her bent leg as she diligently painted her toenails hot pink.

  Glancing at me, she smiled, “I’ll be finished in just a minute.”

  “Take your time.” Not wanting to mess up her paint job, I sat in the chair across from her and watched. “Where do you want to eat?”

  “How about that little country café? I would really love a slice of buttered cornbread and some vegetables.”

  “Works for me.”

  “There,” she said, tightening the lid on her nail polish. “Crimson gave this to me.” She held the bottle up. “You like?”

  “That could quite possibly be the most beautiful color I’ve ever seen in a nail polish.”

  She put down the bottle of polish and tossed a throw pillow at me. “Smart aleck.”

  I grinned. “Babe, I’m a guy. I can appreciate the fact that you look beautiful with your tanned legs and your painted toenails, but I don’t really care whether you’ve painted them with Poppy Red or Cotton Candy Pink.” I pointed at her. “That’s why you have Crimson and Scarlet.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Remember that the next time you want me to listen to the difference between a two-streak engine and a four-streak engine.”