The American Lover

by G E Griffin

  “Other options?”

  “Yeah, like maybe you could wear your ring on a necklace instead. Or you could try wearing it on your other hand. Either way, you wouldn’t be discarding your ring, but it might prevent some of those awkward questions you’re anxious to avoid.”

  I’d thought about it for a minute.

  “When Drew put this ring on my finger, I never imagined for a single second that I’d ever be considering taking it off again,” I’d whispered, close to tears, as I twisted the simple gold wedding band round on my finger.

  Drew and I had known pretty much from the outset that we were always going to end up married some day, so there’d never been any kind of grand proposal. We were both practical, down to earth kind of people, and as I wasn’t into wearing any kind of expensive jewellery, I told Drew there was no need for him to waste what little money we had on buying me an engagement ring.

  But we both agreed that a wedding ring was different, it was a necessity, and I remembered how happy we’d been when we’d chosen it together, not having a very wide choice on our very limited budget, but not caring one jot about that. My ring had been chosen with love, and that was all that had mattered.

  “I know honey, and it’s totally up to you whether you feel ready to take it off or not. But like it or not, things have changed, and your vows were ‘til death do us part’. Sadly that’s where you’ve ended up now, parted by death.”

  Of course I cried when I moved my wedding ring over to my right hand rather than my left, but I reminded myself that I hadn't abandoned it, it was still with me, and always would be. Much as I hated seeing my bare finger, it had been the most sensible solution to prevent my past from casting any shadows on this trip.

  And now I was really thankful I’d felt strong enough to do it, because I could answer Shaniece simply and honestly.

  “Yes, that’s right. I’m single.”

  ***

  After the hectic and busy days in the office, as promised, Caleb had scheduled in two days, Thursday and Friday, for us to spend together, before I flew back to London on Saturday afternoon.

  Thursday morning we spent travelling around the city on the wonderful clunky old cable cars, and much to Caleb’s amusement, I thought they were truly epic. I’m sure good old health and safety officials back in the UK would have banned everyone jumping on and off at will, and clinging precariously to the poles as the cars chugged up and down the incredibly steep hills. We visited Coit Tower on Telegraph Hill, the art deco building that looks like a fireman’s hose, although apparently that was not the intention, according to the guide book. Whatever, I loved the building anyhow, and the view from the top was pretty spectacular. Then, in the afternoon, we went over on the ferry to Alcatraz, and the haunting prison cells sent shivers down my spine at the thought of all the evil criminals that had been incarcerated there over the years. Then after that, I enjoyed wandering around Fisherman’s Wharf, despite Caleb decreeing the area was rather tacky in his opinion.

  Caleb made a great guide as he showed me around, taking obvious pride in his home town, but I couldn’t resist teasing him a little about the American perspective of historic.

  “Is that what you Yanks call old?” I teased, when he was telling me about the Victorian houses in the Nob Hill area.

  “Well, I’m so sorry that out here in the colonies we don't have any Roman buildings to show off like you have back in England,” Caleb retorted with a smile.

  We both enjoyed this easy banter, it was fun and relaxing.

  But all joking aside, no question, I loved the quirky atmosphere of the city, the mix of old and new, the multi ethnic vibe, and the fact that thanks to the large gay community, no one turned a hair if they saw a huge six foot guy wearing full make up, dress and heels.

  Live and let live - amen to that.

  I wasn’t so keen on all the so called ‘earthquake watchers’ sleeping rough on the streets, but I reminded myself that London also had its fair share of the homeless, as did all the major cities of the world. Sad but true.

  Thanks to the detailed itinerary Caleb had organised for me, I didn't have much opportunity to wander around on my own, but he still insisted on lecturing about not going off the beaten track on my own, always keeping to the main areas, etc. etc. which was sweet of him. And then at the end of the day, he was a perfect gentleman when he dropped me back at my hotel, just sweetly pecking my cheek, before turning on his heel and walking away.

  I had to admit I was rather disappointed, because I kept reliving what it had been like to spend the night with him, how good it had been to feel his arms around me, how alive the sex we’d shared had made me feel.

  ‘Caleb is a work colleague. A senior executive. Your boss,” I had to keep reminding myself firmly, although part of me was tempted to throw caution to the wind and run after him to beg him to come up to my room and fuck me senseless again.

  But thankfully it was an urge that I managed to resist, as the last thing I wanted was to come across as needy or desperate.

  Then on Friday, my last full day before flying back, Caleb took us on a road trip.

  “Can’t let you leave California without driving you along at least some of the Pacific Coast Highway. It’s reckoned to be one of the most beautiful drives in the world, so missing out on that while you're here would be criminal,” he insisted. “I haven’t taken that trip myself for far too long, so I'm really looking forward to showing you a few highlights. I thought we could head on down to Monterey, spend a little time looking round that area. Just a shame you haven’t got longer - next time, maybe.”

  “Sounds fab, I’m happy to go wherever you suggest,” I smiled happily, thinking how lucky I was to be getting the personal tour guide experience from him.

  As we were driving north to south, we were on the ocean side of the road the entire way, and the scenery along Route 1 made it one of the most amazing drives I'd ever been on. I tried not to be sad that Drew wasn’t here sharing it with me. I didn't want to spoil things, telling myself I should just try to enjoy it for the both of us, especially as Caleb was such good company. As he drove, we talked and laughed, or just relaxed in an easy comfortable silence.

  “Even though I’ve never actually lived by the coast, I’ve always loved the sea, loved ocean views. It’s always different, always changing, there’s always something interesting to look at,” I sighed, when we stopped to take in a view at one of the many stopping points along the way. The weather was perfect, warm, sunny, a blue sky with not a single cloud in sight, and a nice refreshing breeze. No question, I could definitely get used to this climate.

  “If you take the job and relocate over here, you could come and look at the ocean whenever you wanted,” Caleb commented as he turned to look at me. He seemed to be taking every chance he got to point out the benefits of moving to California, so I guessed the powers that be were putting pressure on him to get me signed up so he could get on with dealing with more important matters.

  As the sea breeze ruffled my hair, I just smiled back noncommittally, but I couldn’t deny that I was beginning to give the idea some serious thought. I really loved California, so maybe I could actually visualise myself living here. This time away had made me realise that I didn't need to be locked up in some kind of prison of my own making back in London in order to be close to Drew, because he was always with me, in my head, in my heart, wherever I was.

  And I hadn't felt at all homesick, much to my surprise, probably because I’d been so busy I'd barely had time to send more than a few hasty texts and emails to my family, to reassure them that I was fine and all was well.

  We drove on down to Monterey and wondered around there for a couple of hours, checking out Cannery Row, Caleb patiently waiting while I bought a few gifts for my family from some of the little tourist shops there.

  Then we had an early dinner, as we’d planned to head back to the city early evening, to give me time to pack and get ready to leave the following day on the afternoon
flight back to London.

  We still had a little time to spare after we’d eaten, and as I think we were both reluctant to call an end to such a lovely day, we decided to slip off our shoes and wonder along McAbee beach before leaving.

  Caleb couldn’t help laughing at my childish excitement when I squealed in delight at seeing some pelicans close up - in my defence, they are a pretty amazing bird. He seemed wonderfully relaxed and at ease, and I felt privileged to see a side of him that probably few people did these days. I’d worked out that he hid his true feelings behind a pleasant demeanour most of the time, one that belayed the bitter anger he still carried around from his divorce. Cassandra had been his first love, someone he’d considered his soul mate, so her betrayal had to have been incredibly painful for him. At least I had the comfort of knowing that Drew had never been unfaithful to me, even though with all his lady customers, he’d had plenty of opportunity to stray if he’d been so inclined, but he’d never given me cause to doubt him for even one second.

  I think Caleb had assumed he had that kind of marriage too, so I could totally understand why his heart had been so shattered when he found out his wife had been cheating on him.

  I accepted there were always two sides to every story, but as far as I was concerned there was no excuse for his ex wife’s behaviour - why bother to get married if you had no intention of keeping your vows? Caleb seemed a decent guy to me, but even if she’d felt they had problems, she should have talked to him, found some solutions, or at least been honest with him if she’d decided she wanted out. My impression was that the selfish bitch had been too set in the very comfortable lifestyle Caleb provided to give him up, until she got caught out and her hand had been forced. Even then she’d still managed to come out of things pretty nicely financially, from the things he’d let drop about the divorce settlement.

  Poor Caleb. Cassie had really suckered him in. Your head can't always make your heart see sense and behave in the way it ought to. You can’t help who you fall in love with, even when they don't deserve that kind of love.

  But for now at least, Caleb looked happy and at peace, so I couldn’t resist the impulse. As we stood on the beach just admiring the view, I stood on tip toe and reached up to kiss his cheek.

  “What was that for?” he smiled, as he cocked his head in surprise.

  “Just to say thank you. For everything you’ve done for me over the last week, and especially for bringing me here today. I’ve had a wonderful time,” I smiled back.

  “My pleasure, Faith.”

  He slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer. He felt so good, so warm and strong, that I couldn’t help sliding my hands up his chest and round his neck, until I found myself gently kissing his mouth, which then somehow turned into a full on kiss. His lips were soft yet demanding, and a little groan escaped from him.

  “You should know that I've been wanting to kiss you from the first moment you arrived,” he murmured, as he nuzzled my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

  “Well, you should know that I've been wanting you to kiss me ever since I first got here,” I whispered back, as I combed my fingers through the soft silky hair on the back of his neck.

  Being with Caleb like this again felt so good that all I could think about right now was us having sex again, and if I was reading the signs right, he felt the same way too. Well, the large bulge protruding from his trousers had to be a bit of a giveaway, didn't it? And this time round I felt excitement rather than apprehension, because I knew that it would be okay, that I could trust him, depend on him, be myself with him. And if Caleb could lose himself with me, forget about his broken heart for a while, where would be the harm in us having another fling?

  “Why don't we book ourselves a room at that hotel just over there, stay the night, drive back first thing tomorrow morning? We’re not at work, we’re two consenting adults, so we could spend the night together, couldn’t we?” I suggested breathlessly, throwing caution to the wind, as I brazenly propositioned him once again, my confidence bolstered by the way he’d responded to my kiss. I crossed my fingers, just hoping that the Ocean View hotel would have a room available now.

  “Sure, Faith, I’d really love to spend the night with you, but are you sure it’s what you really want?” His hands wandered over my waist and hips as I reached up to kiss him again, wrapping my arms around his neck more tightly.

  “Very sure. It’s just… well, until now, I kind of got the impression you weren’t interested,” I said.

  “I didn't want to assume… I’ve been trying to do the right thing, be a gentleman,” he explained.

  “You can do the right thing, Caleb. You can be a proper gentleman by taking me back to your place and fucking me. Hard. Several times.” I murmured in his ear, remembering how turned on he’d got when I'd talked dirty to him before.

  “You are so fucking hot, Faith Jackson. You are making me so fucking horny that I'm thinking we’d better head straight to the hotel and book ourselves a room right now,” he growled.

  “Let’s do it,” I grinned.

  ***

  We didn't care that the only room left at the Ocean View hotel was a super duper deluxe one - hang the cost, because in any case I was determined I’d foot the bill for it, seeing as Caleb had insisted on paying for everything else so far.

  We quickly ran out and bought the few bits and pieces we needed for this unplanned stopover from a local store, before heading up to the room, holding hands and smiling madly at each other the whole time, feeling like a couple of naughty school kids staying out past curfew.

  And this time round, I didn't feel shy about ordering Caleb to lie back and let me do all the work once we’d made short work of getting ourselves naked. He laughed as he agreed, on condition that we positioned ourselves so that we could watch ourselves in the large mirror hanging on the wall.

  Fine by me - our own private little porn show.

  I loved that we felt comfortable and relaxed enough with each other to say exactly how we wanted to do this, and I loved that Caleb was such a big muscular guy that I felt very feminine and petite as I straddled over him once he was lying back on the bed. I ran my finger tips along the hard, defined muscles of his broad chest, and as I leant down to give him a teasing kiss, he groaned as my breasts brushed against his chest.

  “Christ, what you do to me, Faith,” he whispered with his eyes closed, a look of bliss on his face, as his big solid hands grappled and caressed the cheeks of my bottom. “You’ve got such a lovely, soft, sexy, body, and I can't wait to be inside you, and get on with fucking you senseless.”

  To prove his point, he raised his hips to grind his solid length against me, and as I was just as desperate to feel him inside me, I took hold of his length and then slowly lowered myself down onto him. No preamble, no foreplay required, we were both more than ready for this.

  Caleb groaned as he threw back his head, closing his eyes as I let myself sink down until he was all the way in, stretching and filling me in exactly the way I needed. The look of pure unadulterated pleasure on his face made me feel so good about what we were doing together here. How could this be wrong? How could giving and receiving such pure unadulterated pleasure be anything but beneficial?

  I looked over at the mirror, watching myself as I slowly started to ride Caleb, smiling as he opened his eyes and started watching too.

  Who was this confident, sexy woman? Was it really me?

  Of course it was, I reminded myself, because this is who I used to be, this is how I used to feel when Drew and I made love.

  Empowered and special and desirable.

  And I could somehow sense Drew’s approval, that this is what he’d want for me, how he’d want me to remember him and think of him, after all those good times we’d shared together, not be that stupid pathetic creature who crumbled and fell apart every time she thought about him.

  And that’s when I knew I’d be alright, that I could do this. I was finally becoming strong enough
to handle moving on and becoming alive once more.

  ***

  As I woke and opened my eyes, I saw Caleb leaning on his side, propped up on his arm as he watched me. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was still very early, too early to get up yet.

  We’d spent a large part of the night having sex in a variety of positions, and it was hard to say which had been my favourite, because Caleb had taken great delight in making sure I came hard each and every time before he would let himself go, always with such a tender look on his face. I had to remind myself that being such a wonderful, considerate sexual partner did not equate to him being my lover, because love was not part of our equation. Therefore, we had not been making love, we had been mindlessly fucking. For certain, it had been the highest quality mindless fucking, but that was all there was to it, however caught up in the moment we’d been.

  “Hi,” he grinned lazily, as he reached over to brush a strand of hair out of my eye.

  “Hi yourself,” I smiled back, as I reached back to stroke his bristly cheek. I liked the sand papery feel of his skin when he needed a shave. It felt so masculine and so tactile.

  “How are you this morning?” His face was etched with concern - he’d clearly been waiting for me to fall apart again, poor man.

  “I’m fine. No tears this time. Honestly.” And it was true. I’d managed to hold back the panic by letting myself think of Drew in a positive manner, and I hadn't been overwhelmed with grief this time. I was coping, I was healing, and I was finding a way to move forward and have a sex life once more, thanks to Caleb giving me the freedom to leave playing the victim behind.

  “I’m glad, really glad, Faith, because this is nice,” he whispered, as he took my hand and kissed it.

  “What is?”

  “Waking up in bed with you. I like it. A lot.”

  He smiled, making the corners of his eyes crinkle up in such an adorable way.

  “That’s handy, seeing as I’m not that keen on being booted out of bed before I've even had a chance to wake up properly,” I joked.