Weekend at Prism

by John Patrick Kavanagh

  “A gosling, Billi,” Claudette smiled.

  “A gosling,” Blair nodded back. “The drummer felt very bad about this, but the singer assured him that everything would be all right. That things like this frequently happened. That the gosling was only stunned and would be up and around in no time.”

  “And what happened then?” St. Honore asked. “Does this story have a happy ending?”

  “Unfortunately, no. When they got out of the cart and approached the gosling, they discovered that something was wrong. Terribly wrong.”

  “And what was that?”

  “The gosling was twitching because it no longer had a head.”

  The color drained from St. Honore’s face. He began to stand then dropped back into his chair. “And what happened then?”

  “The singer looked around and saw the head of the gosling sitting about ten feet away, its beak opening and closing, small noises coming from it.” She paused. “And at that very moment, he realized, suddenly appreciated, one of the great secrets of the universe.”

  “And what was that?”

  “Something that Karl Wallenda said? Life is the high wire and everything else is in between?”

  “Billi, you’re coming with us,” Christie said.

  “There’s a door, through a bedroom closet,” Denny said, pointing to her left. “Leads to a panic room. From there, we can get outta’ here without being seen.”

  “Then use it!” Blair ordered. “Get out of here. Good-bye, Christie.”

  “Billi, I...”

  “Chris, don’t be a fool. Run while you can.” She paused. “Watch after her, Jip.”

  Spotswood looked away. Denny touched his shoulder, motioned toward Blair. “I will, Billi,” he replied.

  The three of them went across to the bedroom door, stopping to look back at the three who remained. Blair glanced to them, a tear dropping down her cheek. “I love you, Christie,” she said, wiping it away. “I always have and I suppose I always will.”

  “And I love’d you, Billi,” she whispered. “Take care.”

  Blair cleared her throat and shook her head, holding it high. “As Shakespeare would say, Choirs of angels will sing me to my sleep.”

  ***

  “Richie, if you were looking for a storybook finish to this match, you could not have gotten a better one written in heaven.”

  “I can think of at least three people who might disagree with you, Phil, and probably a lot of folks who bet on the wrong pony. But aside from them, I’d have to agree.”

  “Amazing is the only word that comes to mind.”

  “It was amazing, Phil.”

  “Let’s review it once for those two or three people who might have just joined the broadcast, those two or three people who have just joined our estimated five point one billion viewers who just witnessed this climactic ending to the richest sporting event ever held.”

  “Those guys who beat the shit out of each other in boxing rings earn a little more, Phil.”

  “I’m sorry. Would you… no, never mind.”

  “What? Because I said shit?”

  “I, uh… never mind.”

  “You know, buddy, sometimes you can be the best there is, but sometimes you get a little too taken with yourself. Would you get the barbed wire out of your ass, Phil? Loosen up a little? Jesus Christ! Have a little fun.”

  “I just don’t think Mr. Dukesbury… ”

  “Screw Dukesbury. He’s got some ten gauge the length of the American-Canadian border lodged in his poop shoot, too. Did you know that’s how barbed wire is measured? By gauge? Like shotgun shells? The bigger the load, the lower the number?”

  “Jeez. What are you doing, Richie?”

  “I’m retiring, Phil. My horse crossed the line ahead of those other three thoroughbreds. I bet the farm, and the farm just turned into an estate!”

  “No shit?”

  “No shit, homo erectus. Now, you want a review of this thing, you want my final broadcast, or you want me to go fetch Miss Helium Head, Kari Katz, to give the rundown?”

  “Go for it, Richie! Go for it!”

  “Thank you. After everyone tossed in their tiles and drew the new ones, they were sitting on the following: Chang held three blues, two reds, two greens, one black, one silver and one gold. Kerensky held one blue, two reds, two greens, two blacks and three golds. Easton had one blue, three reds, two greens, two silvers and two wilds. Finally, Lascaux held one red, three greens, two blacks, two silvers and two wilds.”

  “Easton and Lascaux held the strength.”

  “At the top of contract seven, they sure did. Chang put into play three blues, two reds and two greens. Kerensky placed into his pyramid, face down… ”

  “Wouldn’t be much of a game if they put them face up!”

  “Now you’re getting into the swing of things, Phil. Kerensky placed two reds, two greens, two blacks and one gold. Easton played one blue, two reds, two greens and two silvers. Lascaux played one red, two greens, two blacks and two silvers.”

  “Then the standoff.”

  “For the standoff, Chang played his wild card, Kerensky the silver, Easton the black and Lascaux another wild.”

  “So silver and black were eliminated from the bidding.”

  “I think you’re starting to understand this game, Phil.”

  “The basics.”

  “D’you bet?”

  “Not a nickel.”

  “You sorry?”

  “We’ll talk later. Lascaux having won contract six, the first bid was his.”

  “And he opened with a two blue bid. Chang upped it to three blue, Kerensky went to three green and Easton went to four green.”

  “Not a dynamic start.”

  “Then Lascaux kicked it to five green, Chang went to six green, the Russian to seven green and glamour girl Sarah Easton said This dress don’t stop for nobody. Went to eight green.”

  “You’ve got to love her, Richie.”

  “Nobody more than me. Lascaux didn’t buy it and he challenged. Chang challenged and Kerensky challenged. And the chips were flipped.”

  “The tiles were turned over.”

  “And low and behold, there were eight greens sitting out on the board, Easton picking up fifteen points, going to a commanding 96, Lascaux at, check that, Kerensky at 66, Lascaux at 64 and Ronnie Chang bringing up the rear with 60.”

  “Then they each exchanged their maximum three tiles. Chang tossed out two reds and one green, Kerensky got rid of one blue and two reds, Easton unloaded one blue and two greens and Lascaux got rid of one red and two blacks.”

  “Ballsy move.”

  “Cajones of steel. I would have dumped, well, probably the red and two of the greens. I don’t know.”

  “Which is why I’m here and Kari isn’t. So after the draw, Chang held three blues, one red, one green, one black, two silver and two golds. Kerensky held one blue, two greens, two blacks and five golds.”

  “Not a bad set, going into contract eight.”

  “Only one set better at the table than that.”

  “Richie?”

  “I’m talking about Lascaux’s tiles, Phil. Would you please relax?”

  “Sorry.”

  “Boo was holding three greens, one black, three silvers and three wilds. Sarah had five reds, one green, one silver, one gold and two wilds.”

  “Not a bad set, Richie.”

  “And some damn good tiles too, Phil. So to begin contract eight, Ronnie put out one red, three blues, two silvers and two golds. Kerensky filled his pyramid up with one green, I’m sorry, one blue, two greens, two blacks and three golds. Easton put out one blue, four reds, two silvers and one gold. And Lascaux placed three greens, one black, three silvers and one of those wild tiles of his.”

  “For the standoff, Chang showed his wild card, Kerensky his green, Easton her gold and Lascaux his green. The two greens cancelled each other out, so the only color out of play for the contract was gold.”

  “And th
en, Phil, we had the shortest bidding cycle I can ever remember on an eight contract. This is where, I think, the match took on a completely different complexion. This was the turning point. I’ve got a phrase to describe what those three guys did to her, Phil. It’s two words, one syllable each, and they rhyme.”

  “Look, you might be retiring, but I’m not.”

  “Good point. It was Easton’s bid and she started with two black. Lascaux went to three black, Chang went to four red and Kerensky popped it up to five green. Easton went to six red and then the three guys went into some of the best table talk I’ve ever heard. They got down to it, they talked it through. They knew if she won another contract, it was all over except for the sausages. Pardon my mixed metaphor. Chang said he was not holding a single red and Kerensky said the same. Lascaux offered that he had a wild out there then gave a short analysis, right on the money, of how he’d figured out Easton’s strat: that there was no way on earth she had more than four reds out on the board.”

  “And these guys have just spent two days lying to each other about just about everything known to man.”

  “That’s right, Phil. Part of the game. Lascaux said Believe me and he challenged. Chang didn’t think twice, and he challenged. Kerensky took one more look at her—I’d pay one thousand dollars right now if I could know what was going through his mind. They’d laid it all on him. He was in the cat bird seat.”

  “What is a cat bird, anyway?”

  “Your basic North American songbird, usually gray in color. They call them that because they sound like a kitten when they sing. Bet me a grand I can’t give you its Latin name.”

  “No thanks.”

  “So it was all up to Kerensky, Phil. I thought he was going to choke on it. But he didn’t. He challenged and they turned over the tiles. Easton came up one short. Her four reds and Boo’s wild. That doesn’t add up to six red.”

  “And you could see the color drain from her face.”

  “And Lascaux offered his hand to Kerensky. And he shook. It was really amazing, Phil.”

  “It was amazing, Richie.”

  “So the score after contract eight was: Easton 82, Kerensky 80, Lascaux with 78 and Chang at 74. Still anybody’s game. Still a horse race.”

  “Chang tossed out a red, a green and a red at the exchange. Kerensky got rid of a blue and two greens. Easton exchanged a blue and two silvers, and Lascaux had to give up that wild tile he played, adding to it a black and a silver. So going into contract nine, after they each drew their three replacements, Chang, the quiet man, held five blues, one black, two silvers and two golds. Kerensky had one blue, three blacks and six golds.”

  “Very powerful hand, Phil.”

  “Easton had five reds, a green, a silver, a gold and her two wilds. Lascaux held one blue, one red, four greens, two silvers and two wilds. Richie, did you have an inkling of what was to follow? My own opinion, at the time, was it was now down to the three guys. I didn’t think Easton had a prayer.”

  “I’m sure a lot of other spectators thought the same thing you did, Phil. For the ninth contract, second to last, Sarah put out five reds, one green, one silver, one gold and one wild. Lascaux put into play one blue, one red, four greens, two silvers and a wild. Chang put out five blues, two silvers and two golds. Kerensky went with three blacks and six golds. At the standoff, Easton showed her wild card...”

  “She was simply lost in space by then.”

  “Great television show, horrid movie. I always loved when that robot would shout: Danger, Will Robinson! Always cracked me up.”

  “You know that phrase? Small minds are easily amused?”

  “No. You know that phrase, Tall and tan and young and lovely?”

  “Isn’t that from… uh… lemme think a minute. It’s… isn’t that The Girl From Ipanema?”

  “Mucho correctivo.”

  “So what about it?”

  “You’re none of those. May I continue?”

  “Please do.”

  “Lascaux showed a wild, Chang a red and Kerensky his blue. So red and green were eliminated from consideration, Easton to bid.”

  “Easton began with a three black bid… ”

  “Lascaux to four black… ”

  “Chang jumping to five blue… ”

  “Kerensky to five black. Easton switched to five gold, Lascaux challenged with a big grin, just to clunk her a little… ”

  “Chang went to six gold, then Kerensky jumped it up to ten gold. What a masterpiece!”

  “You got that one right, Phil. I think they, the other three, or at least Ronnie and Boo, thought there was going to be a more orderly progression. Kerensky said he made the bid for the Russian people. He sounded serious. But none of them could have guessed him to draw those three gold tiles at the exchange, bringing his holdings up to six. Easton challenged, Lascaux challenged, and it was up to Chang. But Kerensky had it locked. If Ronnie went to eleven gold, he was through. If he challenged, Kerensky had him. I think the only thing he could do was to challenge, holding no wilds and only two golds, the other two players challenging. And he did.”

  “And he lost. Kerensky had six, Chang two, Easton and Lascaux held one wild each, so Kerensky took the lead with 99. Easton dropped to 63, Lascaux to 59 and Chang to 55.”

  “But all they had to do was look at the scoreboard to read the news. With the ten points that already go with contract ten, plus a maximum of sixteen points possible if someone slammed… ”

  “All ten tiles of a color plus the six wilds...”

  “… any of them could take it. It was now down to the final contract. One contract and fifty, make that one hundred million to the winner. Franklin Potcheck must have thought he’d died and gone to heaven. It just doesn’t get better than this.”

  “Which reminds me that Mr. Potcheck, who’s been watching this tournament on a television at Awards, a restaurant here at Prism, will be joined by the contestants for the presentation of the trophies in just a few minutes.”

  “I wish I could be over there, Phil. I want to see that, Phil. I want to shake the hand of my new best friend in the entire world!”

  “If you’d finish it up for us, we’ll have time to get over. There must be at least one person somewhere in the world who doesn’t know who you’re talking about.”

  “After the final three tile exchange, Chang held six blue, one black, two gold and a wild. Kerensky held six gold, one black, two silvers and, uh, let’s see. He had another one. I only show nine on my scorecard here.”

  “And a green, Richie.”

  “Right, and a green. Sarah, she held five reds, two greens, two gold and one wild. And Boo Lascaux held six greens, two silvers and two wilds.”

  “If you could take one, which would it be?”

  “Going into ten? I don’t know. They were all nice hands.”

  “I’d have to take Sarah’s or Boo’s.”

  “I’m sure a lot of viewers would agree with you, Phil. And I suppose you also guessed what they’d show at the standoff.”

  “Richie! I wrote on a piece of paper what I thought they’d do! You saw it! Give me a little credit. You’re really amazing sometimes.”

  “I have been amazing, Phil. I was just zooming you, buddy.”

  “Zooming?”

  “You know. Trying to get something for nothing? And folks , Phil called it. At the standoff, they all showed their wild cards, so all six colors were in play. And they put all of their tiles out on the board. And it was all over except for the bidding.”

  “Kerensky to bid, and I really loved his opener. He started it off - now this is for one hundred million dollars, winner-take-all, forty tiles out on the board, sudden death - and he bids one blue. The lowest bid you could make if there were only four tiles out on the board.”

  “And he got the biggest, well, except at the end, that was the biggest ovation of the tournament. And they all laughed. And Boo held out his hand across the table to the Russian, and Easton held out hers to Chang, and th
en they all shook everybody else’s, and it was a genuinely touching moment. It really took my breath away, Phil. You’ve got to hand it to them. They’re all champions in the true sense of the word.”

  “It was a wonderful way for them to acknowledge the others, to say: It’s been fun.”

  “But then it was time to get back to work. Easton bid two red, Lascaux three red, Chang four black. Kerensky got serious and bid four gold, Easton went to five red, Lascaux went to six red, and Chang countered with seven blue. Kerensky went to seven gold, and then, well, it’s sad, Phil, but then, and I suppose we all knew this could happen. One of them let go of the reel of the rod. In this case, her reel.”

  “The pressure got to her.”

  “Sarah came back with a seven red bid, which was not do-able, because Kerensky was at seven gold already, gold being the highest rank of the six bidding colors. So she would have to move into eight something, or higher, or challenge. Lascaux pointed it out to her, in a very gentlemanly way, but she didn’t comprehend. Apparently thought he was just engaging in table talk. So they sat there a moment. Miss Easton didn’t say anything. Kerensky asked her to make her bid, and she popped like a weasel.”

  “The pressure got to her.”

  “So the ref finally intervened, telling her she had to re-bid. I thought she understood him, she asked for a recap of the bidding, he gave it to her, and then she bid seven red again. He explained it to her again and she finally got it. She then bid the eight red.”

  “And then it happened.”

  “And then it happened, Phil. Lascaux fingered that arrowhead his mother Clotile left him, looked at Chang, looked at Kerensky, bored a hole through Easton with those baby blues of his, and jump-shifted to thirteen green. The crowd gasped, then dropped into a deadly, deadly silence. This was it. This was the tournament.”

  “I loved it. I just loved it! Chang taking off those sunglasses of his, squinting at Boo like he just dropped in from Pluto or Uranus.”

  “Phil, if you’re going to start making personal comments about me, I’d appreciate it if you’d wait until we’re off the air.”

  “And then… you what?”

  “Never mind. Chang wasn’t holding a single green tile, he did have a wild tile, so he decided he’d take a breather, so he challenged. Kerensky had only one green, he figured Lascaux had lost his mind, and if that Booray player choked, Kerensky would take home the marbles. So he did the logical thing. He challenged, too.”