Succubus 3 (The Good The Bad And The Crazy Stupid Hot): A LitRPG Series

by A. J. Markam

  I had my answer as she forcefully dragged the dryad closer, then took my shaft in her crimson hand and inserted me between the dryad’s lips.

  The green woman moaned in pleasure as I sunk all the way inside her.

  “Are you sure?” I asked Alaria.

  She kissed me sensually on the lips, then pulled away with a smile. “I don’t mind sharing.”

  4

  Okay, so things turned out great with the dryad.

  It didn’t go quite as well the next time.

  The next morning I stayed onboard the Revenge watching the repair crew do their thing. It was a bunch of gnomes – probably the only creatures small enough to climb into the ship’s turbine engines and dismantle them piece by piece, bolt by bolt. Not to mention that gnomes were the most mechanically inclined of all of OtherWorld’s races. They were born tinkerers and mechanical geniuses, and these guys in particular were great at their jobs. Two-foot-tall Tony Starks, the lot of them.

  But there’s only so many repairs you can watch before you get bored to death, so I went down below decks to see if maybe Alaria wanted to get frisky.

  Much to my surprise, she already was.

  I heard the moans and groans before I reached the door.

  “Again?!” I seethed as I flung it open.

  At least this time they weren’t doing it on the desk.

  They were in the bed – Alaria and a being made of water. It vaguely resembled the enslaved creatures on Odeon’s plantation, but this one had a decidedly curvy, feminine shape, and long hair made of flowing trickles of water. It sort of looked like the liquid metal T-1000 in Terminator 2, except all liquid and no metal. And a hot chick instead of Robert Patrick.

  It was an undine – a female water spirit.

  And it was fucking my girlfriend.

  Alaria was on her hands and knees, moaning as the water spirit was doing her doggie-style from behind, its pelvis slapping Alaria’s ass with every thrust of its hips.

  I frowned. The undine was completely naked. I could see her bare ass, her graceful back – I could even see through her – but I didn’t see a strap-on.

  But if there wasn’t a strap-on, why the hell were they doing it doggie-style?

  I got my answer ten seconds later.

  “OH GODDESS – OH GODDESS – I’M COMING – ” Alaria screamed.

  Suddenly the undine stepped back, and out from between Alaria’s legs slid a gigantic watery schlong.

  Which proceeded to spurt clear liquid all over my girlfriend’s back.

  “Oh yes,” Alaria moaned as water cascaded down her ass. “Unhhh…”

  “HEY!” I yelled, absolutely furious – and mortified.

  Alaria and the undine both looked over at me.

  “Oh – hi, honey,” Alaria giggled, like absolutely nothing was wrong.

  I stalked over while trying not to look at the watery wiener. “YOU SAID NO MEN!”

  Alaria frowned. “Swaah’s a chick.”

  “Then what is THAT?!” I yelled, pointing at the dong while simultaneously trying not to look at it.

  “Oh,” Alaria said, and waved her hand dismissively. “She’s just faking it. That’s not a real one.”

  “What do you mean, it’s not a – ”

  Before I could get the words out, the liquid boner was completely reabsorbed back into the undine’s body, leaving behind a smooth, graceful, obviously female crotch.

  The rest of her was obviously female, too – the tiny waist, the wide hips, the slender legs, the breasts that looked like graceful orbs of water –

  Really large orbs of water…

  The undine placed her fingers in front of my face and snapped. The sound was more like two wet paper towels slapping together, but it was obvious what she was doing.

  I looked up at the water spirit’s face, which was very pretty for something made completely of liquid. She looked like Angelina Jolie if Angelina Jolie were 100% water.

  The undine made a V out of her two fingers, then pointed them at her face.

  The message was obvious: My eyes are up here.

  “Are you serious?!” I snapped. “You’re naked and fucking my girlfriend and you don’t want me staring at your tits?!”

  The undine looked over in surprise at Alaria.

  Alaria rolled her eyes. “I’m not his – could you stop calling me your girlfriend? Just call me your lover, okay?”

  “Apparently you have a lot of them!” I snapped. “And what was that with the water dong?!”

  “You didn’t say anything about strap-ons,” Alaria pointed out.

  “THAT WASN’T A STRAP-ON!”

  “I know. Neither of us had one handy, so we had to improvise. Swaah made one out of her body.”

  I stood there gaping at Alaria, speechless.

  She misinterpreted my reaction and sighed. “It only looked big, but it was made out of water, so it was like a big softie. Not hard at all.”

  The undine put her hands on her hips like she was insulted.

  “It still felt good!” Alaria said in exasperation to the water spirit. “Goddess, why is everybody so sensitive today?!”

  “I don’t know – maybe because I came in here to find you fucking somebody else?!” I snapped.

  “Ohhhhhh,” Alaria said with a smile. She got up from the bed, went over next to the undine, and stood there hip to hip with her.

  “You want to join in?” she cooed in exasperation.

  The undine turned and glared at her.

  “You should try it,” Alaria whispered in her watery ear. “Trust me – his gets hard.”

  Actually, it already was hard.

  The undine raised her eyebrows, intrigued, and looked down at my crotch.

  I snapped my fingers and pointed at my face. “Hey! My eyes are up here.”

  The undine grinned – then, as though to placate me, grabbed her own breasts and jiggled them with her hands.

  You have never seen boobs jiggle until you have seen giant water boobs jiggle.

  I just stood there, mesmerized.

  “What do you say?” Alaria murmured seductively. “You’ll actually be able to see your cock inside her. And when you come, you can see that, too. Trust me, it’s pretty hot.”

  “I…”

  When the hell else was I going to have sex with a virtually invisible woman?

  “…alright,” I muttered, and both women immediately set to tearing off my clothes.

  5

  After that, it became a French sex farce.

  I would leave the ship to run an errand, or step away for half an hour.

  Then I would come back to the bedroom and invariably find Alaria with another woman.

  Or two.

  Sometimes four.

  A lot of times they were hot. Elves of all different kinds… more nymphs… one really sexy fox…

  By that I mean an actual fox-lady. With fur all over her body. Not just an attractive female.

  Then there was the time I walked in to find Alaria spread-eagle on the bed and Tarka going down on her, stocks on her head and all.

  “AAAAH!” I yelled.

  Alaria and Tarka both looked up in shock.

  “What?!” Alaria asked, alarmed.

  “I thought this was our thing!” I said, gesturing towards the two of them on the bed.

  Alaria shrugged. “I didn’t think you’d mind.”

  “You don’t even like her!”

  “I wouldn’t say that…”

  “You want to KILL her someday!”

  Alaria shrugged. “I may want to kill her, but she’s still a good lay.”

  Tarka wiggled her eyebrows at me lasciviously.

  “Plus she’s convenient,” Alaria added.

  “Very convenient,” Tarka agreed, then pouted at me. “Just down the hall, and yet you never stop by to stick it in.”

  I stood there frowning.

  “Oh Goddess,” Alaria groaned. “Don’t be like that – just get naked and fuck us already.” />
  “Aye!” Tarka swung her bare, shapely ass around to face me. “Batten down the hatches! Raise the mizzenmast and fire that cannon deep inside me!”

  I hesitated…

  …stood there for a long moment…

  …and then joined in.

  I’m not exactly proud of that, though.

  Next time it was a naked orcess trussed up in a makeshift B&D rig. Alaria was whipping her green ass with a riding crop when I walked in.

  As soon as the orcess saw me, she roared, “HU-MAHN, I WILL KEEEL YOU!”

  “This is Ian,” Alaria said, like she’d mentioned me previously.

  “Ohhhh,” the orcess said in a normal voice, and smiled as she licked her lips. “Want to join us?”

  “No, I’m good,” I said, and hustled back out of the room.

  Then there was the time I walked in on a female dwarf going down on Alaria as she was standing up.

  Actually, both of them were standing up.

  The dwarf was the perfect height for giving cunnilingus, actually.

  Probably the perfect height for fellatio, too, but I excused myself before I could confirm it.

  Sometimes I joined in… sometimes I didn’t. I had a lot of opportunities, seeing as I must have walked in on her having sex two dozen times over twelve days.

  Towards the end, I would just open the door… watch for a minute… sigh… then leave the room.

  I drew the line when I found her with the four female gnomes.

  It was a little disturbing. Like finding out your girlfriend has a fetish for midget porn.

  Excuse me, that was insensitive.

  Little people porn.

  Either way, not my cup of tea.

  And it was beginning to take its toll.

  6

  My supervisor noticed something was off.

  I worked as a Quality Control Tech for Westek, the company responsible for OtherWorld. They’d hired me to test out their prototype long-term immersion rig, which was how I’d met Alaria in the first place.

  During one of my few work breaks (after all, I spent up to a week at a time in the game), I was sitting in the break room dejectedly eating a microwave dinner when my boss John Perkins came in.

  “Ian,” he said, and sat down across the table from me. “How’s it going?”

  Something about his manner seemed less like a friendly How ya doin’ than a boss trying to sneak in a year-end performance review under the radar.

  “…fine?” I said warily.

  “I’ve been looking over the latest QC reports. You’re not leveling up.”

  “Oh,” I said, relieved. “Yeah, I’m stuck in Exardus waiting for the Revenge to be repaired.”

  “I know – but the system’s showing your stress levels lately are through the roof, even though you’re not engaged in combat. What’s going on?”

  “Oh. Uh… well, I’m personally on the hook for 4000 gold in repairs for the ship.”

  John whistled. “Wow. Okay. So why aren’t you going out and questing to raise the money, then?”

  “I… I guess you could say I’m having problems with my succubus.”

  John raised one eyebrow. “Technical issues?”

  “No, more… relationship issues.”

  “Huh. Anything you want to talk about?”

  I blushed. “Um…”

  “Look, I get it,” he reassured me. “It’s a sensitive subject, I’m sure – but I’m not just your boss, I’m a guy. If you want any advice, or just need to get something off your chest, I’m here to listen.”

  I sat there looking at him for a long moment, then thought, Why the hell not.

  I had to talk to somebody about this shit or I would explode. So I launched right in.

  “Have you ever been in an open relationship where you had threesomes with your girlfriend, and you both agreed you could see other people, but every time you turn around she’s sleeping with somebody else? Not with guys, just women – and, I mean, she asks me to join in every time I catch her with somebody, and the women are mostly really hot, but… I don’t know. It’s starting to bother me.”

  John blinked at me from behind his black plastic-rimmed glasses. He looked fairly shell-shocked.

  “Uh… no. No, I’ve never experienced anything even remotely like that before.”

  I nodded and sighed. “Yeah. I haven’t had anything like it happen outside of the game, either.”

  John thought for a second. “You know, I may not be able to help you with this, but I know somebody who probably can.”

  Now my curiosity was piqued. “You do?”

  “One of the other QCers. He’s doing the alpha test on the adult portion of the game, too, and I think he’s even in the vicinity of Exardus. You want me to have him swing by and meet you inside the game? Maybe he could give you some insight.”

  I shrugged. “Yeah, sure, I guess.”

  I figured, what could it hurt?

  Might even help.

  Turned out – not so much.

  7

  “What is up, amigo,” my lunch partner said, clapping me on the back as he sat down.

  I groaned inwardly as soon as I saw him. I’d already met him once before.

  Robert the QC Warlock.

  I’d run across him my first day of work. He was actually a decent guy – he’d given me a lot of information when I was first starting out, and he’d tried to help me alert the company when I was trapped in the game and couldn’t log out.

  But he was way over the top. And just a little bit of a douchebag.

  He dressed like he was the lead singer of a famous rock-and-roll band. Either that, or he was the bad guy in a porno Spaghetti Western.

  He wore all black, with a badass duster jacket that came down to his calves. His shirt was halfway open, exposing his hairy, muscular chest. Not to mention he was also tall and good-looking, with long hair and a neatly trimmed beard.

  Truth to tell, his handsomeness both intimidated me and made me a little resentful. Gamers weren’t supposed to look like this guy. Robert should have been a bartender in a trendy club banging a different chick every night, not a QC tech for a videogame company.

  Thank God Alaria wasn’t around, or she might have broken our agreement about no dudes.

  Oh, and he sounded exactly like Matthew McConaughey. I still kept expecting him to bust out with an Alright, alright, alright.

  We were sitting in an open-air café in Exardus out on a public square. The sun was shining, a breeze was blowing, and we were surrounded by gleaming white architectural marvels.

  Other than my love life, it was a perfect day.

  Robert leaned back in his chair with his legs spread alpha-male wide. “Last time I saw you, you were just a little buckaroo fresh off the boat, smellin’ like a skunk and wet behind the ears. My how things have changed. Lookin’ good, brother, lookin’ good.”

  “Thanks,” I said, and felt bad that I’d ever thought ill of him. “You too.”

  “I see you brought your imp this time.”

  Stig sat in a chair opposite from Robert. He could barely see over the top of the table, but he watched us both like a curious toddler.

  “Yeah.”

  I didn’t mention that if I hadn’t brought him along, Stig probably would have been blind drunk by the time I got back.

  Robert frowned and gestured towards his own neck. “Where’s his collar?”

  “Oh… I, uh, I freed him.”

  Robert’s eyebrows shot up. “Say what?”

  “I freed him.”

  “Why in the Sam Hill would you do that?”

  I shifted in my seat. “I, uh… I got turned into a slave during one of my quests, and after that I just wasn’t comfortable having my demons being forced to serve me. So I freed them.”

  “Huh. Well, that’s a new one.” Robert stroked his beard as he watched Stig, who kept looking back and forth between Robert and me. “Well, he’s still followin’ you around, so I guess you’re a pretty good
master. That true, little dude? He a good master?”

  “Yes,” Stig croaked, though he shook his head.

  Robert frowned. “Why’s he sayin’ ‘yes’ but shakin’ his head ‘no’?”

  “Never mind,” I said, reluctant to get into it. “That’s just something he does. Where’s your succubus?”

  Robert broke into a grin. “Kilara? Well, the boss man told me this might be a somewhat sensitive conversation, so I figured we’d just make it all dudes.”

  “Oh… yeah, good idea.”

  Robert gestured across the table. “What about your imp?”

  “Stig? Oh, he’s fine. He knows everything.”

  “Too much,” Stig piped up.

  “Too much, huh?” Robert grinned.

  “It’s awkward,” Stig said.

  I shot Stig a glance and he settled back in his chair.

  Robert laughed. “Awkward, huh? Well, I am lookin’ forward to hearin’ all about the Ian soap opera, but let’s order ourselves a little somethin’ to drink first, shall we?”

  “Yes!” Stig agreed and sat up eagerly in his chair.

  “It’s coffee, not booze,” I said.

  “…oh,” Stig grumbled, and slumped back down.

  Robert caught the eye of our very cute elf waitress. “Darlin’? Could I steal you over here for a minute?”

  And then he just proceeded to charm the hell out of her.

  I sat and watched the master at work – and he was definitely a master at flirting. Within twenty seconds the elf was eating out of his hand. She laughed at all his jokes, brushed her hair back multiple times, even touched his shoulder.

  I thought some of his lines were cheesy as hell, but he pulled them off somehow. Like, “I like my coffee like I like my women – hot and sweet, just like you, darlin’.”

  Our waitress loved that one.

  I was pretty damn jealous, actually. And doubly glad I hadn’t brought Alaria.

  After we ordered our drinks, Robert watched the elf sashay off. “Mm, mm, mm. I tell you, compadre, I got a hell of a chick – but every now and then I see an ass that makes me go Daaaamn. I mean, I get filet mignon every night of the week, but sometimes you just want a good, juicy burger. Know what I mean?”