Mail Order Bridesmaid

by Emilia Beaumont

  “So, what kind of bet?” I asked, curious.

  “Well, the grand prize is a full bar, the big ones mind you, of Cadbury’s chocolate Nina has kept stashed away. The greedy little mere. We all had to try and figure out what happened to you. You’re stranded right?”

  I nodded.

  “Score one for me!” Colleen squeaked, but then made a frowny face. “Sorry, must be hard.”

  “Way to put your foot in it, you eejit,” Shawna interrupted shaking her red spiral curls and tutting.

  “It’s not so bad. I have a bed.”

  “So, what happened? Did you get dumped by a good-for-nothing sack of shit too?” Nina asked.

  “No. Did your boyfriend leave you?” I blurted aghast. I lowered myself to the bed I’d just finished up and smoothed the sheet absently.

  “Yup, he hooked up with some other bint and hightailed out of Amsterdam before I could even come up for air.”

  “What a dick,” I muttered.

  “You’re telling me,” Nina said, but shot me a smile. “But I’m well rid of that Scouse bastard.”

  “Okay, so far I’m still winning. Come to me oh-glorious choccy!”

  “Hold your horses, you haven’t won yet,” Shawna interrupted.

  “Like you’re gonna win. Shawna here reckoned you blew all your money on drugs, but I think that’s just wishful thinking and longing on her part,” Colleen continued with a snort.

  “You all had fun in Amsterdam too I presume?” I replied with a knowing smile.

  The girls giggled and nodded.

  “Nah, it was nothing like that,” I admitted. “I’ll not keep you in suspense any longer; I got mugged. Rookie mistake; I lost my group and traveled alone. Paid the iron price.”

  “Oh, shit,” Sofia whispered, placing a hand on top of mine as she sat down next to me. Sofia’s accent was thick, Eastern European if I had to guess.

  “They took everything I had,” I said and relayed the story as they all looked on in sympathy.

  “And you are stuck?” Sofia asked in stilted English, as her skinny eyebrows knitted together, like two pieces of thread wrestling each other for the middle.

  “Yup. It’ll take me a while, but I’ll get home eventually.”

  Each of the women nodded somberly, going quiet. Suddenly Colleen smacked her hands together. “We should help you. If we all chip in I’m sure it’ll add up.”

  “I couldn’t ask you to do that. You barely know me.”

  “Yes, but,” Nina said, “if it were the other way around, I know I would be grateful if someone helped me get home.”

  “Look it won’t be much,” Colleen added, “but it’ll be enough to keep you fed and get you one step closer, okay?”

  “I don’t know what to say,” I replied, completely in shock at their generosity.

  “You can say thank you, and you get to keep the chocolate bar too. It has been decided, hasn’t it girls?” They all nodded, though Shawna looked slightly dismayed she’d miss out on the chocolate treat. I vowed to share it with them, no matter what they said.

  I laughed at that. “Thanks. It’s been months since I’ve had any decent chocolate.”

  “Ah, Belgium,” we all said in unison, then broke into another round of giggles.

  “So you’ll take our money?” Shawna encouraged. “I have a thousand rubles I can spare.”

  “If you insist. But I promise to pay it forward whenever I get the chance.”

  “It is either that, or you sell your body online, no?” Sofia added.

  Colleen looked in horror at her traveling companion. “Feck off! What on earth are you chatting about, Sofia? She’s not that desperate yet. Are you?”

  “Hell no!”

  Sofia shrugged. “It is option. Girls from where I’m from do it all time. Russian women too.”

  “You’re going to have to explain that to me,” I said, my puzzled face matching the other three staring at Sofia.

  “It is true.” Sofia busied herself digging a slim hand into her pocket then pulled out her phone. A few seconds later she extended her arm so we could all see the screen.

  Shawna dissolved into a fit of laughter. “You think she should become a mail-order bride? You must be soft in the head, woman.”

  Sofia frowned. “I do not know what that means.”

  “Never mind,” Shawna replied with a smile and gave Sofia half a hug, squeezing her shoulder.

  I took Sofia’s phone and studied the webpage. Did things like this still happen in the twenty-first century? It had never even occurred to me that there would be a need for such a service, what with all the technology that supposedly connected us all.

  “This has to be a joke page, right?” I asked. “This can’t be real. Do men still pay to have brides shipped across the world? I thought that went out of fashion years ago.”

  “Yes. It is very real. My… how do you say… Mother’s sister’s daughter?”

  “Cousin?”

  “Yes, my cousin is a mail-order bride. Lives in Canada now. Very happy.”

  Around the room four mouths dropped open, we probably looked like drowning fish.

  Sofia continued. “I, er, thought of doing it too. But got scared and decided to travel instead. Find love another way.”

  “You dodged a bullet there,” Nina exclaimed. “You’d have to be mad to do something like that.”

  “Or desperate…” I added quietly.

  * * *

  I wiped the sweat from my brow and settled onto the squeaky office chair with what remained of my donated chocolate bar and cup of soup that had far too many carrots for my liking. I entered my login and password on an ancient computer that was faded beige with age. I waited for a long moment as its internal processes whirled to life, deciding whether or not to accept my password. The thing was probably older than I was and could double as a relic in a time-capsule. But at least the clunky beast worked and connected to the net.

  The corner space on the first floor, with its bank of mismatched computers and single laptop, was the hostel’s barely functioning internet cafe. Which composed of three computers and a kettle you had to plug into the wall.

  I only had a few minutes left on my account, courtesy of Darya, of course, and tapped like a madwoman, pulling up the browser and waiting for my email messages to appear.

  This was the only communication I had left, what with my phone being long gone. I missed the phone fiercely, but not for the reasons people would normally jump to. I wasn’t addicted to the latest social media app or free-to-play mobile game, barely gave them a second glance while I’d been abroad. What I missed most was its familiarity. Its overly girly sparkly case, chunky with encrusted fake diamonds, that left tiny dimples in my palm if I held it too long. I missed scrolling through all the photos I’d taken along the way as well as the ones back home, of Mom and Gran. I missed the playlists I’d carefully curated to suit whatever mood I was in. Most importantly, I missed her; being able to listen to her voice, playing the message over and over again until I ran out of credit.

  It was a tether that had been violently cut, like an umbilical cord that provided me essential nutrients. But it was gone, and so was she, and there was no way to get either of them back now.

  Nestled amongst a bunch of spam and promotional discounts, there was one email from an address I recognized, dated two days previous, that sat waiting for me. I clicked on it immediately and held my breath.

  My hand let go of the angular mouse and its sharp corners and clutched at my throat instead. No.

  I read and reread the email, panic swelling in my chest.

  Miss Pavlov,

  After several attempts to contact you without any success, using the emergency number we have on record, I truly hope this email will reach you in time so that you can act accordingly.

  Your grandmother, Mrs. Bernadette Pavlov, a resident in our care at Sunset Hill Nursing Home, is in danger of being evicted by the management if the account is not brought up to date. I ur
ge you to get in touch and visit as soon as possible.

  Tears blurred my vision.

  Through the watery barrier I managed to read the last line. The email was signed by a nurse Martina Tucker. I vaguely remembered the woman, her soft features, wide hips, and graying hair from the last time I’d visited Gran. She’d been sweet and attentive and I knew Gran would be in good hands during my trip abroad. But now they were threatening to kick her out? I’d never had reason to ask about the financial sides of Gran’s care. She’d always made it seem that everything was taken care of and that I wasn’t to worry my head about it. But I would never forgive myself if I wasn’t there to prevent this from happening. Yet what could I do? No amount of wishing and pleading for the circumstances to be different was going to produce a magic carpet to spirit me back to home. I had to face facts no matter how much the guilt threatened to burn a hole in my stomach like a corrosive acid; I was on the other side of the world with no hope of getting home to stop it.

  Unless…

  I shook my head and closed my eyes as the conversation and Sofia’s shocking, but illuminating, comments about the darker side of the world from earlier that evening came flooding back. I’d dismissed the preposterous idea immediately. I wasn’t that desperate to give up my freedom for the sake of a plane ticket.

  The girls had scrapped together just shy of four thousand rubles, but it was still a long way from the amount I needed.

  Now, everything had changed.

  The tables had turned, spinning wildly into the air, and I was left upside down clinging on for dear life. Gran needed me. I wasn’t going to let her become homeless, not at her age, not when she needed to stay where she was, she couldn’t put any strain on her heart.

  Could I do it? Could I sign up to be a mail-order bride, commit myself to one man, a stranger, to get home? Or worse, lie and take advantage of someone else’s vulnerability?

  I swallowed.

  Blustering butterflies brewed up a storm within me as I navigated to the site I’d subconsciously memorized from Sofia’s phone. Of all the things my brain decided to trap, this had to be the most ludicrous. And yet there I was, mouse nestled in my palm, finger poised at the ready.

  I clicked, and like Alice fell down the rabbit hole into an unknown world.

  Three

  Sebastian

  A day later, I lifted my head when I heard a knock on the door. Before I could invite her in, Josephine pushed it open and practically skipped to my desk. Almost as an afterthought, she placed a cup of coffee on the only clear spot available then put her hands behind her back. She looked pleased with herself, cheeks rounded with all the damn grinning.

  Silently she waited for me to react. I sighed and saved the spreadsheet I’d been working on all morning.

  “Are you going to stand there all day? What is it?”

  “Ask me,” she said.

  “Ask you what?”

  “Ask me if I found you a date?”

  “Well if you haven’t, whatever this is isn’t going to do you any favors.”

  “Ask me.”

  “Fine. Did you find me a suitable bridesmaid for Saturday?”

  Jo beamed, nodding. “Oh, I did. And she’s perfect.”

  There was something about her smug demeanor that rubbed me the wrong way. I didn’t like how easily the task had been for her, and I could only assume there had to be a reason for that. A catch that I couldn’t see coming.

  “And will she fit the dress?”

  “Almost certainly.”

  A weight lifted off my shoulders. I’d be able to call Gerard and let him know the good news, that I wouldn’t be ruining his bride’s wedding after all. But the look of glee on Jo’s face hadn’t diminished. I’d never seen her so happy in all the months she’d worked here.

  “You seem confident. Wait, you were supposed to bring me options so I could choose.”

  “Like you said you don’t have time to peruse the meat market, Sebastian,” she said with a roll of her eyes, “and I’m certainly no fairy godmother. You get what you’re given. I made an executive decision, and she’s the one.”

  “Does this perfect bridesmaid have a name?”

  “Anna,” Jo said nodding, and began to backpedal toward the door. “Come see for yourself.”

  “She’s here?”

  “Of course not. At least not yet. I have her details up on my screen. I think you’ll like what you see.”

  I swiveled in the ergonomic chair and rose, following her out to her desk that sat a few feet from my office. Jo stood next to her empty chair, arm outstretched, inviting me to sit. Jo was never this nice… but maybe people could change. Or she really wanted that double bonus I’d dangled in front of her.

  I lowered myself and grasped the arms then leaned forward. Jo nudged the mouse and the screensaver dissolved to reveal a browser page. Immediately my eyes went to the photograph that took up the majority of the page. A headshot of Anna.

  Layers of bright blonde hair framed graceful features then cascaded down her shoulders. But what struck me was the vulnerability that tinted her hazel-green eyes. Eyes the shade of autumn leaves and new spring shoots. This innocence was backed up by the cautious smile she gave the camera as if she wasn’t quite sure of herself. She looked nervous. First time on a dating site, I presumed.

  “Nice, huh?” Jo asked.

  “She’ll do,” I replied, about to leave the chair. There was no advantage in letting Jo know she’d done a good job. She’d only rub it in my face. But a deal was a deal, I’d bury the damning evidence of her ruining one of the biggest deals this company had ever seen, and give her a healthy bonus to boot. But, I couldn’t quite make myself pull away from the screen. Anna was stunning. Even through the digital medium she managed to captivate me. This was a woman I wouldn’t mind getting to know.

  “So, where did you find her? A dating site?”

  “You could say that.” There was that twinkle in Jo’s eye again. She wasn’t telling me everything.

  “Jo,” I said my tone low, “her picture is nice and all, but are you sure it’s not a fake?”

  “I’m sure. I did my due diligence.”

  “Okay, good. I just want to make sure. It’s crucial this works out.”

  Jo gave a little shrug. She wouldn’t lie to me would she? I could never tell with her.

  “So have you set up a date when we can meet? Or if you give me her phone number, I can do the honors.”

  “Anna arrives tomorrow.”

  “Arrives?” I glanced up at Jo, eyebrows raised.

  Her smile was full now, if it was even possible, and she slowly bobbed her head. “Yes, tomorrow morning at five. At the airport.”

  “Wait, she’s not local?” I paused and looked from the screen to Jo, dread settling in. “What did you do?”

  “Nothing… Just what you asked. I got you a date for a wedding.”

  Ignoring her I tapped the mouse again to get rid of the screensaver that had appeared and studied the webpage more closely. I’d been so mesmerized by Anna’s features that I hadn’t bothered to take notice of much else. I scrolled the mouse wheel. The top of the page came into view, a pink banner that had been hidden only moments before.

  Holy fuck.

  I read the name of the site. Then did so again, not believing my eyes. I was reading it wrong was all. But each subsequent reread came up with the same result: I was screwed.

  I shot to my feet. “You ordered me a Russian mail-order bride?”

  Jo covered her mouth, muffling the giggles.

  “Please tell me this is a practical joke.” I shook my head.

  She barked a laugh this time, hearty from down deep, then slapped her thigh. I smiled with her, and let out a long breath.

  “Jesus Christ, Jo. That’s not funny. You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

  But then her laughs became louder, squeakier. At one point I thought she was in danger of never stopping. There were tears in her eyes, and she waved her hands at h
er face, trying to dry them away. She breathed hard and doubled over holding her middle.

  “Oh my god,” she said between large gulps of air. “You’re such an idiot.”

  I could feel the blood from my face drain away, like water down a plughole. It seemed to settle in my stomach, pooling there. “Jo?” I growled. “Tell me this isn’t real. Tell me you didn’t…”

  “No joke,” Jo gasped. “Consider this payback for everyone woman you’ve wronged. Including my sister. Sebastian, your bride arrives in the morning. Flight bought and paid for with your own credit card.” She produced the rectangular bit of plastic, my company expense account, and I snatched it out of her hand then pushed her toward the chair.

  “Fix this right now, Jo. Cancel the flight, tell whoever that is, that you made a big mistake and whatever deal you made is off. Stop the charges on the card. Do something.”

  Jo stared up at me, no longer laughing. I could feel the anger inside me rising. How dare she do this?

  “What are you waiting for?” I gestured toward the site, the pink mail-order brides banner for International Love Match, blinking accusingly. “Fix it.”

  Jo shook her head and laid her hands on her lap. “I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”

  “Why not?”

  “Her connecting flight from Frankfurt should already be in the air.”

  * * *

  “Have you found someone yet?” Ger asked.

  “What?” I replied and took him off the speakerphone. Working late, I was back in my office with the door firmly shut, trying to figure a way out of the mess into which Jo had gotten me.

  I had a good mind to fire her on the spot, the words almost left my mouth too, but then I’d be stuck dealing with this shit by myself.

  “How’s the search going for the seventh bridesmaid?” he elaborated. He punctuated his question with a sharp sigh. He probably thought I’d forgot all about it. Which was furthest from the truth right now.

  “It’s going.”

  “You still haven’t found anyone? Jesus, Baz. I ask you to do one thing. Rochelle thinks everything is under control. She doesn’t even know you and Sarah split. Argh, this is a nightmare.”