He blows free a deep breath, caught off guard. “You’re sure about this?”
“I don’t have another choice. If anyone finds it and discovers a lick of evidence, then I’m going away for a hot minute. Prez was pissed, telling me to make sure it doesn’t come back to haunt us down the road. I can’t let this possibly fall back on the club or us.” He’ll understand that, I’m sure.
“That’s not it,” he comments, calling me out, “You don’t want her to find out it was you.” It’s true, and he knows it as well as I do. That’s the last thing I want her to discover; she’d hate me for the rest of my life.
“She can never know.” Agreeing, I chew on the inside of my cheek, wondering if I’ll eventually wear a hole in it. What kind of man kills his woman’s mother? A bad one, obviously.
“Look, you keep it straight with me until I’m done living my life, and I swear to you, she’ll never hear it from me.”
I nod, grateful for his promise. The only others that are aware of what went down are my brothers. I can trust them with this secret, I know that much. We all have skeletons in our closets that we keep for each other; it’s part of the brotherhood.
“You bring anything to dig with?” He moves on, cracking his knuckles, ready to get to work. This isn’t the first time we’ve had to do this, and I’m confident it won’t be the last, either.
“Yeah, I snatched a few of the foldable camping shovels. They’re in my saddlebags. I’ll grab ‘em.”
“Bet. You bring along anything else or are we having a campfire to fix this problem too?”
“The smoke might tip someone off, so I took a page from Viking’s book.” I’ve definitely gotten more careful and creative with time; we all have.
His brow raises, intrigued.
“I brought some of the acid Spider had around so we could skip any uninvited visitors showing up. I didn’t want to chance it with the highway so close.”
“Ugh, that shit smells fuckin’ rank.”
“How do you think she’s going to smell when we dig her up? Not like roses, brother; that I can assure you. The bitch didn’t even wear any good perfume.”
“Jesus,” Saint gripes, shaking his head. He tugs his bandana free and ties it over his face, covering his nose and mouth while I jog back to my bike and grab the foldable shovels. It’s going to be a pain in the ass uprooting this bitch with these, but they’ll have to do.
We get a few inches of dirt shoveled off, and he mutters, “Next time you kill someone, just call so we can come pick them up with the truck. I fucking hate digging.” We’re sweaty and dirty already and have only just begun.
“I will. I hate this shit too.”
“You need to persuade baby girl to give up that shit hole town. Ain’t a thing for her there,” he adds while shoveling like a man possessed. I don’t know how he does it. The movements hurt my back. I end up getting on my knees, copying him and find it goes by quicker.
“I wanted to discuss it with you first.”
He keeps shoveling, listening.
“I’ve had a chance to be around her for a while now; I don’t expect you to feel the same way after knowing her for a little over a week. I’m not an idiot; I know you can’t fall for her the same way I have in that short of time.”
He grunts, not admitting anything.
“We’ve been riding together a long time—had each other’s back for as long as I can remember. We’ve even shared women ever since I first started fucking...There were the times between us too…” I trail off, not sure which direction to go. It’d help if he’d at least reply more than a grunt.
He nods, listening, but keeps quiet still, digging through the packed dirt.
“I don’t really know what the fuck to say here; at least, not the right thing,” I admit. I’m a man; we don’t discuss feelings like this all the time, if ever. He could be thinking that I’m an idiot right now. Who knows?
Saint pauses, his irises nearly clear as they look over at me, evidently thinking. At least I know he’s calm. If he wasn’t they’d be nearly the same dark shade as my own. “Just tell me what you want in all this.”
Like that’s easy to explain? How in the fuck do I say this without coming off sounding like a selfish prick? I am one, but I don’t need him thinking of me in that sense.
“What I want? Her and you to keep it simple,” I say, being as honest and raw as I can. It’s the truth, right down to the basics of it all. Sure, I know it’s more complicated than just that one sentence.
Scrubbing my hand over my face, I continue. “We’re getting older, and as much as I love pussy, it’s getting old doing the shit we do. I don’t want to be scouring different bars for another chick that may end up being mediocre for the two of us. She fits us—both of us. I want it to be permanent between us three.”
“So, what’s the problem then?” He probes as we push more dirt away and uncover flesh. “Ugh, fuck!” He shields his face with his arm and jumps back.
The smell hits me, and I climb to my feet, stumbling backward as well. It’s disgusting, like a rotted animal.
“I’ll be right back.” Jogging to my bike, I grab the container with the acid in it. I’ll pour it over the body, and it’ll be like it never happened in the first place. She’ll disappear, and I’ll be free once more. They may find a tooth or something, but I doubt anyone will ever look here, to begin with.
“The problem? Keep going,” he repeats when I get close enough to finish our discussion.
Shrugging, I carefully open the container and then pour it, covering as much of the body as possible with the liquid death. “Last thing I want is for it to cause shit between you and me. But I don’t want to give her up, either.”
“Tell me, Sinner, would she be ours or just yours to claim?”
My mouth falls open at his question. I can’t believe he would even consider me being alone without him, an option. “Of course, she’d be both of ours. If I wanted her for myself, I’d have cut you free when you pulled your blade on me.”
“That again? You have to bring it up now when I’m helping you dispose of a body? I thought we were past it already. I was angry, but I was wrong. I fuckin’ own it okay?”
“Case in point, you fucking owe me for spilling my blood!” I complain, gesturing to my ribs, irritated at the painful memory. My side is finally feeling better. It’s not completely healed up, but the gash isn’t so bad anymore. I can ride again without feeling as if I’m getting mini stabs ripping through my skin.
“You survived,” he replies deadpan, not wanting the reminder. This is a prime example of why I need a woman in my life too. I crave just an ounce of compassion and worry that Saint can’t provide, but Jude does so without skipping a beat.
After a tense moment, I whisper, “Do you even want to be with me Saint?” The words come out nearly broken with their implication.
“How the fuck can you even ask me that shit, Sinner?” He shakes his head. “I’ve always wanted you, from the moment I witnessed you broken and bloody. I made you mine. There was no other option at that moment, and I’d never go back to change it.”
He pulls a flask free from his pocket, yanks the bandana down and takes a swig. Wiping his lips, he sighs, using the same hand to run through his wild hair. The man bun thing he wears came loose on the ride. “You’re the only thing I’ve wanted for most of my life,” he finishes and puts the alcohol away. “I know you need her too.”
“And it won’t bother you if I have you both?”
He shakes his head again. “No. I want you to be happy, and with her in the mix, I know you will be.”
“But will you be happy, too, Saint?”
“I’ll have you, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then you don’t have to worry about me, Sinner.”
“And what about Jude?”
He shrugs. “She’s already getting under my skin. Give her a little more time, and you won’t be able
to peel the bitch out of my hands.” His retort makes me grin. I know what he means; she finds your soft spot and plants her ass right next to it.
We wait awhile, and I feel more at peace than when we arrived. I clean up everything, and then we head home to our woman.
The guys disappeared yesterday without so much as a clue as to where they were going or when they’d be back. I asked Odin about it when I saw him, but he gave me nothing either. These guys are hard to get information out of if you’re not one of their MC brothers.
Sinner came back eventually, and it was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He wouldn’t tell me anything though when I asked. This part of their life is frustrating. I guess I don’t really understand the point of being secretive about so much. I wouldn’t say anything about it anyhow.
“You still won’t tell me where you and Saint went yesterday?”
“No. You need to drop it, Jude.”
They came home hot and sweaty and went straight to the shower. What am I supposed to think about that? TV may not be my thing, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t watched plenty of it before. I’ve seen an ample amount of movies and shows where men go off to be with other women. Not to mention the way my mom would go off the deep end when she thought one of her creeps had been with another woman.
Not that I have any claim on him or Saint, but it still hurts my heart imagining them going out to be with other women. The club whores like to whisper about how the men are never satisfied and comment about Saint and Sinner going through women like they go through blow jobs. In the short time I’ve been here, I’ve discovered that’s a shit ton of blow jobs. Princess tells me not to pay them any attention, but there has to be some truth to what they say, right? This is why them being secretive is making me overthink things all of a sudden.
“Is this back to the ‘club business’ stuff like that ride you guys went on to get your brother? Or something else?”
He sighs, drinking from his vodka cranberry before responding. “I told you when we left, that shit isn’t something I can share. A lot of what we do around here, I can’t. You’ve known this from when I first started visiting you.”
“I get that, even if I don’t see the purpose, that’s why I’m asking if this is like that or if it’s something different?” I probably sound like a nut job, but I don’t know how else to ask him without sounding jealous. I want to just come out and grill him about any other woman being intimate with him.
I’m not jealous; I can’t be. This has to be about safety or honesty or something. I will not act like my mother when it comes to other women. These men either want me or they don’t. I just want to know where I stand. Each day here in their presence makes it harder to face the fact that I’ll have to leave one day.
“Where’s this coming from? Are you okay?” he grumbles, trying to turn this around and question me instead. He’s smooth, but I catch it.
He reaches to pull me close to him, but we’re interrupted as screeching comes from the parking lot. The noise instantly sets everyone on edge. “Go to my room and lock the door. Don’t answer it unless it’s Saint or me.”
He’s dead serious. Shaken from what? I don’t know...there’s so much to this life they won’t share with me. Which was exactly my point from a moment ago!
“Where’s Saint?” I can’t help but ask as I glance around the room for him. I haven’t seen him for a few hours; I just assumed he was in his room. Shouldn’t I go in there with him, instead of waiting alone in Sinner’s room?
A huff leaves him as it registers that he’s been gone and that he’s most likely responsible for whatever’s going on outside. “Damn it. Stay with me at least until we figure out what’s going on,” he relents, and I fall in step behind him, holding the back of his cut, so he knows I’m doing as he’s asked.
Sinner’s only trying to protect me and knowing he values my safety and well-being, makes me fall a bit farther down the rabbit hole for him. I’ve liked him since day one. My body’s craved his since the first time the word daddy fell from my lips, mocking him, and now my heart beats for his as well. He’s finally begun to show me the softer, less brash side of him, and I’ve enjoyed it immensely.
Saint’s coming in as a close second, and if it weren’t for them both being open to the idea of me having feelings for the two of them. If I’m honest with myself, this entire thing has been confusing from the beginning. I’ve never considered the option of wanting two men. I hadn’t considered it’d be a possible scenario in my future at any time. I mean, when has it ever been acceptable for someone to have that sort of a relationship?
Not that I should care about anyone else’s standards, but I can’t stop it from crossing my mind at times. If I mentioned it to the guys, they’d both tell me not to worry about it and to go by how I feel inside. That’s one of the main things I admire about them, they want me to do whatever makes me happy. They’re the same way toward each other to a certain extent as well.
“It’s him,” Sinner declares after sticking his head out the main door to look. He doesn’t seem too amused with the outcome either, so I can only imagine. Stepping away, he opens the solid metal barrier, holding it so I can go outside with him.
Saint’s back and in another sports car. Hopefully, this doesn’t end up like the last time. That was a big mess. I wonder if this is a normal thing for him, stealing other people’s cars. And how am I so relaxed about it? I guess stealing a car doesn’t even compare to say…murder.
“The fuck, Saint?” Sinner roars, storming toward the car. “You trying to get us all killed? Tell me this doesn’t belong to Mafiya too?”
The door opens, and Saint pops his head out, wearing a devilish smile. “Come on.”
“Who’s is it?” Sinner asks with caution. I can’t blame him; supposedly, the last car that Saint took joy riding belonged to some mob member or something. I really don’t want him getting hurt from poking the wrong bear—or us either, for that matter.
“Some rich fuck; nobody special. I’m heading to Oscar’s chop shop.” He shrugs. “Make a quick buck off this ugly monster.”
“Jesus.” Sinner shakes his head, chancing a quick glance at me. He doesn’t seem too surprised, a little irritated if anything. “It’s all right, Jude.”
I can’t help but laugh at Saint’s animated reaction over his latest thrill. Shrugging my own shoulders, I make my way toward the shiny, dark purple vehicle. It’s pretty, but nothing I could imagine driving; it’s way too flashy.
“You comin’ baby girl?” His wolfish smile beckons as his eyes sparkle with mischief.
I love it when he’s like this; the adventurous side of me gets to come out. “Yes, daddy.” The last ride he took me on, I was thrilled and frightened all at once. This time, though, I’m more confident in hopping in the car with him, and I know to hold on.
“Fuck yeah. Come on, Sin.”
“How are we getting back?” He’s always the one to voice reason and throws in a touch of caution I’m learning.
“I have to pick up Scot’s truck; guess Nightmare pissed his ol’ lady off again, ‘cause she went to town on the paint job.”
“B’s fucking crazy.” He shakes his head again, coming to stand next to me.
His hand falls on my hip, squeezing as he peers down into my eager gaze, “You’re gonna have to sit on my lap. Think you can manage not to squirm or get scared?” His lips curl up just enough, giving away his front of being angry about Saint coming home with yet another vehicle.
“Maybe, if you’re lucky I’ll sit with you. I may want on Saint’s lap instead. And I’m not scared. What kind of car is this anyhow?”
“I’m guessing some rich bitch’s custom Ferrari, and you’re on me, not him,” Sinner rasps, drawing me down onto his lap after he’s situated.
He spreads his legs, positioning me against his groin with the seat belt wrapped around both of us. With the way Saint drives, I doubt the belt would do much if we we
re to crash, so part of me thinks it’s pointless. With those thoughts, I immediately hold on and with both hands.
The doors shut and Saint revs the engine a few times, the tires making a cloud of smoke surrounding us. “She’s got some powerrrr,” he sings gleefully. “Come on sugar, you can do better than that Lamborghini,” With a chuckle, he lets up on the brake and we shoot forward.
I wonder how the rest of the members feel about Saint taking off with cars and then making the tires burn out in front of the clubhouse. Last time Viking was furious. You’d think Saint would learn. He doesn’t seem to have a care in the world about it though. I can’t find it in myself either. I think it’s awesome. My heartbeat skyrockets and a smile a mile wide fills my face.
Within seconds it seems, we’re on the main road with my back pressed against Sinner like we’re glued together. “I’m sorry if I’m hurting you,” I call over my shoulder, while wide-eyeing everything as we speed past it. Trees shrink and quickly disappear, the compound far behind us within minutes as Saint presses down the gas pedal.
Gripping the door, I attempt to peel my body forward just a bit. It doesn’t move an inch, so I give up and hold on for dear life. How does this man never get pulled over? Won’t police officers be driving around and see him speeding? Hell, they probably couldn’t catch him even if they did want to give him a citation.
Sinner’s mouth meets my neck, his teeth lightly biting down on the soft flesh as the inky scruff from his five o’clock shadow tickles my skin. “I want you right where you are, Jude.” His hand falls between my thighs, his fingers finding the spot that drives me wild for him.
Saint grins manically as the speed steadily climbs higher and higher. It reminds me of riding with him in the Lamborghini. “Redbone” by Childish Gambino thrums through the expensive sound system, and somehow the song fits Saint so well. He’s utterly crazy, and I love him for it. “Pull her shorts down, brother.”
Baby Page 16
