A new place would be a fresh start to her life with Lucas, Kate thought later as she climbed the stairs to get dressed. A place free from her memories of Edward and one where she could focus on her family and not what would never be.
****
Edward saw Charles’s name flash across the screen of his phone and sighed. His brother had been calling incessantly for the past two hours. Edward figured it was past time to deal with him.
“Yes,” he snapped into the phone.
“It’s about bloody well time,” Charles said with noticeable impatience.
“Sod off,” Edward said.
“Someone needs to talk some sense into you,” Charles said.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You know damn well I’m referring to you running off to Vegas to avoid Kate.”
“I didn’t run off. I need some time alone to get perspective, and coming to Vegas allows me to monitor the Morrison account.”
“That’s bollocks. I know what kind of perspective is available in Vegas. I hope you’re not going to do something foolish,” Charles said.
Edward could hear the condescending tone in his brother’s voice and hated that everyone always assumed he would do something reckless.
“Glad to see you have some confidence in me,” Edward replied and poured himself a whiskey from the hotel mini-bar.
“Tell me what’s going on. Why did you leave?”
Edward considered telling his brother to piss off, but felt a pang of guilt. He knew Charles was only trying to be there for him.
“I’m presuming you’re aware Kate plans to adopt Lucas.”
“I just heard. It’s really bothering you?”
“Of course it is. I mean, we just started dating and now she’s going to be a mother. That’s a pretty huge change in our relationship.”
“Lots of other single mothers date. What makes you think Kate can’t too? She’s not pressuring you to marry her, is she?”
“No. She made it very clear she’s not looking for or expecting a proposal.”
“And that bothers you, doesn’t it?” Charles asked.
Sometimes having a twin who could read him so well was frustrating. Even with thousands of miles between them, they had always been able to sense what was wrong with the other.
“You know how we were raised. Our parents might have had a cold and unfeeling marriage, but they remained together for our sake.”
“Right. And you recall how wonderfully that served us all. Regardless of how our parents chose to live, things are different today. Kate is more than capable of raising Lucas on her own. So what’s the problem, unless…” Charles paused. “Do you want to marry Kate?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you love her?” Charles asked.
Edward was silent. His palms were clammy and he yanked at the collar of his shirt that now felt as though it were strangling him. He desired Kate. That’s about the only thing of which he was sure.
“I’m certainly in lust with her, but love…that’s a big step. Did you know you were in love with Meghan immediately?”
“I was undoubtedly attracted to her, but since she convinced me we could only be friends, I spent the early time getting to know her. As I did, I realized no one had ever made me as happy, and that was before we became lovers.”
“Well, that doesn’t apply to Kate and me as you’ll recall. I picked her up in a club. I had only planned on a one-night stand.”
“That lasted for three weeks before you returned to London. Why was that?”
“She was fun and great in bed,” Edward replied, knowing he wasn’t completely being honest with his brother.
“So you didn’t have any regrets when you returned to London?” Charles asked.
“I wouldn’t say regrets, as much as I was going to miss the regular sex.”
“You’re such an insensitive prat. Sometimes I don’t know how we could have shared the womb together.”
Edward rubbed the back of his neck, now tight with tension. “Fine. I might have missed Kate when I returned to London.”
“Did you sleep with anyone between the time you returned to London and moved to the States?”
“No, but things were really busy with the drama of Mother’s financial solvency.”
“Did you have any expectations of resuming your relationship with Kate once you decided to move to the States permanently?”
“I certainly wanted to resume our sexual relationship. I spent the entire first month I was here trying to get her to go out with me. If it wasn’t for her family’s new restaurant, we probably never would have gotten together.”
The conversation had given Edward a headache. He scowled into the whiskey.
“Answer me this, how would you feel if Kate wasn’t in your life anymore, if you couldn’t see her face every day?”
“I don’t know.” Now he was lying not only to Charles but also to himself.
“When you figure that out, you’ll know if you love her.”
Edward hated that his brother could be so logical about everything. Charles had been open to loving someone, which made it easier for him to give and accept being in love. But it was different for Edward—he’d never thought much of getting married...until now.
****
“This one has possibilities, don’t you think, Meg?” Kate asked as they looked at the third apartment that morning.
Meghan sat on one of the chairs, a weary look on her face. “It’s not bad, but what about the school district? It’s not the best.”
Kate frowned. “I know. The problem is I can’t afford a place in those neighborhoods. I guess I could bus or train Lucas to one of the better schools, but that may be a pain.”
“I wish you would at least look at the brownstone down the street from me. The owner needs to sell quickly and may be willing to cut you a deal.”
“It would have to be quite a huge deal for me to afford to live in your neighborhood. Thanks, Meg, but that’s never going to happen.”
“Well, we’ll just have to keep looking, then.”
“You look exhausted. I think this is it for you today. Let’s grab lunch and you can go home and take a nap,” Kate said.
“I’m fine, really.”
“Do you think I want Charles on my ass if I tire you out?”
Meghan sighed. “You’re right. I really could use a nap, but I feel guilty every time I take one. I’m not used to lounging around.”
“You’re carrying not only one, but two precious cargo. Don’t feel bad about resting, because once they’re born, you can kiss all forms of rest goodbye.”
“Charles wants us to get a baby nurse, but I’m not sure. My mother never had any help. If she could do it with half the conveniences we have today, then I should be able to as well,” Meghan replied.
“My mom did, too, but Charles grew up with servants and governesses. He’s used to that.”
“I know. It just doesn’t feel right.”
“Maybe you don’t need to get a live-in nanny, just someone who comes by each day and helps with the wash, and the diaper changing. You will be exhausted, especially with two kids screaming for you to feed and change them.”
Kate remembered the round-the-clock feedings and never-ending laundry. She wouldn’t have changed anything, but it was tiring. Sometimes she could barely stay awake during dinner.
Just then Meghan’s cell phone rang.
“It’s Mark,” she told Kate. “Hi Mark…What!...She’s in labor…now!...Oh my God… Yes, Kate and I will be right there.” She disconnected.
Kate had already jumped to her feet and was heading toward the door. “I know twins often are born early, but isn’t this a little too early?”
“I sure hope not after all Karen has been through with the miscarriages before this pregnancy,” Meghan replied. “I need to let Charles know.”
“You can call him from the cab,” Kate said. “Guess you’re not getting that nap.
”
Chapter Twenty-One
“Oh, they’re so beautiful,” Meghan crooned to a breast-feeding Karen.
“Congratulations, Kar. They’re gorgeous,” Kate said.
Despite the early delivery, the twins were bigger than anyone expected, around four pounds each. Lord knows how large they would have been if they went full-term. And based on the louds cries they’d heard when they walked into the room, both pairs of lungs were fully developed.
“Thanks. They are pretty amazing. The nurses weren’t sure if I would even be able to breastfeed them, but Colin here doesn’t seem to be having any trouble,” Karen said.
Mark caressed his son’s head. “Only a couple hours old and already an expert at the breast; makes a dad proud.”
A wail came from the matching crib.
“I’ll get her.” Meghan lifted Abby and cradled her close. She walked over to Charles, who stood on the other side of the room, avoiding the whole breastfeeding scene.
After calming Abby, Meghan maneuvered so Charles ended up holding the newborn. He looked nervous at first, but Meghan must have said something to reassure him, because Kate saw him start to relax. He smiled down at the baby, and Kate watched with envy as he exchanged tender looks with his wife.
Kate didn’t think anyone, even Mario, had ever looked at her like that. The ache in her chest grew, until she felt the walls closing in on her.
Grabbing her purse, she headed toward the door. “I’m going to the cafeteria to get coffee and food since Meg and I didn’t get lunch.”
“You didn’t eat?” Charles asked his wife, worry etched on his face.
“I ate the emergency granola bar I keep in my purse, but that was on the way here,” Meghan said.
“I’ll bring something up for you, Meg,” Kate offered.
“Why don’t you go downstairs with Kate and eat?” Charles said. “I’m fine here.” He looked down at the sleeping baby.
“Are you sure?” Meghan asked.
“Yes. Can you bring me a cup of coffee when you come back up?”
“Make that two,” Mark said from the bed, now burping Colin. “Go. Charles is going to get his first lesson in diaper changing and he’ll be more relaxed without you fussing over him.”
Kate wasn’t sure, but she thought Charles paled a little.
The two women made their way down to the cafeteria while discussing who the twins resembled. After making their food selections, they sat at an empty table.
“How do you think Charles looked holding Abby?” Meghan asked.
“I’d say he looked like someone who’s never held a two-hour-old infant before,” Kate replied.
“Yeah, he was nervous at first, but I think he was getting the hang of it when we came down here.”
When Meghan picked nervously at her sandwich, Karen covered her friend’s hand with her own. “Charles will be a good father because it’s important to him. He might be scared of hurting or dropping the baby, but he’ll figure it out.”
Meghan sighed and took a sip of bottled water. “You’re right. I’m being silly. It’s just…knowing the way he was raised, there are certain things that don’t come natural to him. Babies need to be cuddled and kissed, and I’m not sure he even knows to do all that.”
“He looked just fine to me. Don’t worry, Meg. I think spending time around Karen and Mark’s twins will help Charles not only see how to handle them, but also better prepare him for yours. I bet he’s an expert by the time you deliver.”
They ate in silence a few moments.
“Do you ever think about having another child?” Meghan asked.
“I’ll be getting one very soon,” Kate replied, purposefully avoiding the true intention of Meghan’s question.
“Not a grown child, but your own that you carry and give birth to.”
Like she had with Tony.
Kate took a large bite of her turkey sandwich and used the time she chewed to think about how to answer Meghan’s question. Had she thought of having another child? If she was honest with herself, then the answer was yes. Of course, it didn’t help that her two best friends pulled her into every baby store in Manhattan.
“I’ve thought about it, a little,” Kate replied.
“Of having one with Edward?” Meghan pressed.
Kate straightened in her chair. “That’s not going to happen,” she said a little more harshly than she intended.
“He’s going to come back and when he does—”
“When he does, he’s going to give me a list of reasons why a relationship together won’t work out, all of which will be true,” Kate interrupted.
“You don’t know that.”
Oh, yes, she did. Kate knew his type. Hell, she’d spent the past several years seeking out his type just so she didn’t have to deal with relationship complications. Unfortunately, she’d allowed herself to slip and now was in love with someone who wouldn’t allow himself to love her back.
Kate gave a cynical laugh. “Oh, come on. We both know Edward isn’t looking for permanency or anything other than a quick tumble in bed.”
“That’s not how I see it,” Meghan said, studying her. “I see a man who has changed from the charming playboy I met last summer. Sure, he’s a flirt and likes to have fun, but there’s so much more depth to him. There’s a determination I hadn’t expected to see based on how Charles described his brother. He works hard and is committed to the success of their business. Then there’s how he looks at you.”
Kate put down her soft drink. “What do you mean?”
“He looks at you the way Charles looks at me. He’s in love with you, Kate, even if he doesn’t realize it yet and you’re too stubborn to see it.”
****
“Mama, what do you think of these centerpieces?” Kate pointed to the short glass vase filled with water and a floating white candle. “I’m going to scatter rose petals around it for opening night.”
“It’s perfect. It’s simple and elegant against the red tablecloths,” Carmen said. “But then you always had a talent for knowing what looked good.”
“I placed the dinner menus over by the hostess stand. We’ll have to wait to print the dessert menu until the queen of sweets finishes obsessing about what she wants. She’d better hurry her ass up, too. Opening night’s tomorrow.”
“Your sister just wants things special. It’s as much a reflection on her as it is on us. She’s counting on the restaurant to help get her new business off the ground.”
“I know, I know. Seriously though, if she makes me eat any more of her fattening treats, I won’t fit into my pants for opening night. All that chocolate mousse is delicious, but it’s going straight to my ass,” Kate said, patting her behind.
“Welcome to my world,” Carmen said, wrapping an arm around her daughter. “Your ass is beautiful and has been ogled by several of the workers still finishing up here.”
“Kate, am I done folding napkins?” Lucas asked from atop one of the bar stools.
Kate walked over and saw he wasn’t even halfway through the pile. “Are you bored, baby?”
He pouted and gave her a nod. “When is Edward coming back? He promised to help me with soccer practice.”
Kate’s heart lurched. How was she going to explain to this innocent little boy there was a good chance Edward wouldn’t be helping him with soccer? She silently cursed the bastard for putting her in the position of bull-shitting her way through the truth. Well, she sure as hell wasn’t going to make excuses for why he wouldn’t be helping out Lucas. Edward could explain that when he got back.
“I’m not sure when Edward will be back. He’s away on business and will come back as soon as he can,” Kate replied.
“Why don’t you go into the kitchen and see if Papa Joe has something for lunch?” Carmen suggested.
His face lit up. “Do you think he’ll make me some chicken fingers and fries? Those are my favorites.”
“I’m sure he will if you ask nicely.” Kate helped him
down from the stool and watched him trot to the kitchen.
Kate felt her mother next to her and braced herself for the inquisition.
“Have you spoken with Edward since he left?” Carmen asked.
“No, but I really didn’t expect to. He’ll return when he’s ready.”
“And then what?”
“Look, Mama, Edward wasn’t raised in a loving home like ours. He has a difficult time knowing and expressing what he wants.” Unless it involved sex, that is. Then, he knew exactly the right way to be expressive.
“Maybe, but how could he not want you and Lucas to be his family?”
Kate understood Edward well enough to know that he dealt with the lack of love by doing everything to avoid it. Casual affairs were his style and it was going to take a lot to change that, if it even could.
Kate turned and started folding more napkins. “Not everyone wants to be married with kids. I have to accept that he may never be able to give his heart completely.”
Her spoken words were much braver than the words of her heart, which told her Edward was her second chance for love. After Mario, she hadn’t imagined falling in love again. Kate’s love for Mario was the love of her youth. Due to her overprotective father and equally protective older brother, Kate hadn’t dated a lot before Mario. There’d been a few dates and a few stolen kisses, but nothing serious until her husband.
In retrospect, what she had with Mario started out sweet and evolved into a youthful passion but had never developed beyond that. Not even when Tony was born. Mario had always been self-absorbed and immature. He didn’t like being upstaged by Tony or sharing Kate with him. When all three of them were together, Kate felt the constant pressure to focus her attention on Mario, not easy when she had a screaming, colicky infant on her hands.
Edward couldn’t be more different. He emanated confidence, possibly a little too much, and didn’t seem to mind sharing her attention with a small boy. Despite his wild youth, Edward managed to straighten himself out and run a successful business with his brother.
Kate thought back to what Meghan had said at the hospital. Edward had changed from the playboy she met last summer. Sure, there were still elements of the flirtatious charmer in him, but she’d watched him work hard wooing clients to solicit more business for the firm. He had a strong work ethic and didn’t back down from hard work or a challenge.
Untangle My Heart (Tangled Hearts) Page 23
