A Simple Change

by Judith Miller

  Throughout the morning, I remained alert, turning to and fro at every strange noise. When the morning bell rang to signal morning coffee break for the men, I hastened to the far side of the washhouse, where I wouldn’t be seen by Margaret—or any of the men who might expect someone to be near the clotheslines hanging laundry, particularly Thomas.

  Once enough time had passed for the men to make their way to the Küche, I circled around the rear of the washhouse and returned to the men’s quarters. I’d maintained a close watch on my return and nothing appeared amiss as I stepped across the threshold. I glanced about and exhaled a sigh of relief, thankful when I saw no one inside.

  As I continued through the room, I glanced toward Thomas’s bed and a fresh wave of fear grabbed hold of me. Kathleen’s picture had reappeared and was lying atop his trunk. I clasped my hand across my lips to stifle the scream that threatened. He’d been in here while I was hiding at the washhouse. It was obvious he knew that I’d returned to work. And that picture was a clear indication he expected to hear from me.

  What could I say? I don’t know where the money is? He would never believe me, and such a remark might anger him further. I wanted to think he still might be the same friendly young man I’d grown to admire, but his last note had put me on edge. Why hadn’t I figured out a plan during those days when I’d sat beside Mother’s bed? Instead, I’d forced all thoughts of Thomas and the bank money out of my mind. I needed to speak to Nathan. Maybe he’d received a return telegram regarding the bank robbery and could tell me something that would help me decide what I should tell Thomas.

  I waited near the door and watched for the men to return to the mill. If I remained in plain sight, Thomas couldn’t approach me. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of that earlier—maybe because I would appear as if I had nothing to do except stand and stare out the doorway.

  As Thomas descended the path, he cast an angry look in my direction, but I averted my gaze and watched for Nathan. When he rounded the bend, I gestured. If he could avoid Brother William’s watchful eye, I was certain he would come and speak to me. He glanced over his shoulder before he came running and ducked inside the doorway.

  “Your mother is doing well, I hope.” His lips curved in a halfhearted smile.

  “Yes, much better, thank you.” His comment didn’t bear much enthusiasm, but right now I was more concerned about how I was going to respond to Thomas. “Have you received any word since you sent the telegram?”

  “These things can take a little time, Jancey. I would have told you if I’d heard something.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “Is that all you wanted to ask me?”

  “Yes. Can’t you understand that I’m worried? What if he finds out that newspaper article is missing? He’s going to think it was me. I’m the only one who has enough opportunity to go through things in here.” Since I’d gone against Nathan’s advice, I didn’t dare tell him I’d attempted to return the clipping and discovered the money was missing.

  “What about Margaret? She’s in here by herself part of the time, too. It could even be one of the other men. There are times when everyone’s gone on their day off. Even if he checks that bag, he’s not going to know it’s you. Besides, he probably won’t even notice. Why would he give a second thought to an old piece of newspaper when he’s got all that money?”

  “Perhaps you could draw Thomas into conversation and he’d reveal something to you. Have you talked to him about his time in Kansas City?” I was grasping at straws, but I had believed Nathan was going to do something significant when he said he’d take care of the matter.

  “He keeps to himself and isn’t interested in talking to anyone. He doesn’t even join in when the men play cards. I can’t force him to talk to me.”

  His response surprised me. Nathan was one of the most persistent men I’d ever met, so it was difficult to believe he couldn’t cajole Thomas into some sort of conversation. “You will let me know as soon as you hear something, won’t you?”

  “Of course.” He patted my shoulder. “You worry too much.” His patronizing tone matched the overconfident look in his eyes. He was treating me like a child. “I told you I’d handle this and I will. Just give me the necessary time.”

  There wasn’t any use continuing this conversation. Nathan couldn’t supply any information that would help me.

  When the bell tolled for the noonday break, Margaret was still in the washhouse. After hanging the last sheet, I carried the empty basket and dropped it beside the wooden tubs. Margaret swiped her damp hands down the front of her apron. “I’m off to the Küche. I’ll see you after lunch.”

  Standing in the doorway, I watched Margaret depart and wished I could join her. Instead, I’d eat lunch at Sister Bertha’s Küche, where Thomas would be sitting with the rest of the outsiders. For sure, I’d be careful to avoid looking in his direction.

  The parched grass crunched beneath my feet as I walked toward the dormitory on my way to the Küche. The lack of rain had taken a toll on the flowers and trees, but today the air had cooled a little. Though it wasn’t yet August, I wanted to believe I could smell a promise of fall in the air.

  The thought of a cooler season rejuvenated my spirits, and I picked up my step. Deciding to remain outdoors and enjoy the fresh air, I circled around the end of the clotheslines rather than taking the shortcut through the men’s quarters. I was midway between the washhouse and the dormitory, not far from the clotheslines, when the bushes rustled. Before I could take stock of what was happening, Thomas jumped forward, grabbed my wrist, and pulled me toward the brush, where we wouldn’t be easily spotted.

  Anger smoldered in his eyes. I tried to pull away, but he tightened his grip on my arm. I flinched and gritted my teeth. “Let go! You’re hurting me.” When he didn’t release his hold, I narrowed my eyes. “I’m going to scream if you don’t turn me loose. What will you tell Brother William when he comes running?”

  “The men have already gone up the path. They won’t hear you unless you scream very loud. If you do that, I’ll have to cover your mouth, and I don’t think you want me to do that, do you?”

  My shoulders slumped and he loosened his hold a little, but not enough that I could break loose and run—not that I’d try. He’d be able to catch me before I made it out of the backyard.

  “Just tell me what you did with my money and what you know about Kathleen, and we can part ways real quicklike.”

  “What money? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I swallowed hard in an attempt to keep my voice from trembling. “I saw that note you left last week, but I didn’t know what it meant then, and I don’t know what it means now. Why are you asking me about money?”

  “How dumb do you think I am? You’re in there every day snooping around while you’re supposed to be cleaning the rooms. I’ve seen you over by my bed, and I know you found the money. Just give it back and tell me what you’ve found out about Kathleen.”

  I could barely believe this was the same man who had been so kind to me when we’d first met, but just like Nathan, Thomas had changed before my very eyes. “You need to think about your accusation, Thomas. If I knew you had money, why would I steal it? I have no need for money here in the colonies. Besides, my father owned a large construction company back in Kansas City. If I required any money, he could easily take care of such needs.”

  Although my father had divested himself of his wealth, if I truly were in need of financial aid, he’d contact people who would help me.

  When Thomas still hadn’t released his hold, I tried again. “I would never steal from you or anyone else. Since we met, I’ve done nothing but try to help you.” I looked at his fingers still clenched around my wrist. “And this is how you repay me?”

  He looked down at his hand. “It’s the only way I can get you alone to speak to me. You didn’t answer my note. What am I supposed to think?”

  I gasped. “You knew I was at home caring for my mother. The men talked about her illness at wor
k. You also stopped and asked Margaret about me while I was away.”

  “I think you could have found a way to leave me a message if you’d really wanted to—but you didn’t.”

  “Because there was nothing I could tell you. If you had money somewhere inside the dormitory and it is gone, you need to ask someone else, because I don’t have it.”

  He released his hold but remained poised to strike. “If you don’t have anything to say about the money, what can you tell me about Kathleen?”

  After the way he’d treated me, I now wondered if Thomas should be reunited with his sister. How would he act toward her if she did something that didn’t please him? I could easily give him Kathleen’s address right now, but I wanted time—time to decide whether Thomas would provide his sister with a happy home or if he’d wash his hands of her if she did something that didn’t please him.

  “There’s nothing I can tell you yet.”

  “So you haven’t heard nothin’from your friend in Kansas City? How long does it take for her to write a letter to those people and get word back to you? I just want my money and my sister’s address. Once I got those two things, I’ll leave here for good.” He tipped his head to the side. “Things would be easier for you if I was gone, so maybe you should write another letter to that friend of yours.” His jaw twitched. “And maybe you should do a little snooping and see if you can find out something about my money, too.”

  I ran toward the path, my heart pounding as loud as the strike of a blacksmith’s anvil.

  Chapter 26

  Once I realized Thomas wasn’t following me, I slowed my pace and continued walking toward the Küche. I’d been on the path only a short time when I heard branches crackling not far ahead. My breath caught. Was it wind in the trees or had Thomas circled around? I remained still as stone, inhaled a shallow breath, and listened intently for the sound of footsteps. Was he going to appear and level yet another threat? Prepared to run, I took a tentative step forward and gasped as a figure emerged.

  “Ritt!” Fingers trembling, I covered my mouth. “You frightened me. I thought—” I stopped before I uttered Thomas’s name.

  Ritt’s eyebrows pinched together. “You thought what?”

  At the sight of him, the tightness between my shoulders eased, yet I floundered for an answer that would satisfy his curiosity. “I-I thought maybe an animal of some sort was going to attack me.”

  He tipped his head to the side. “Ja? Maybe a crazed squirrel was going to jump from a tree or an angry rabbit was waiting to jump out and nibble your shoes?” He wrinkled his nose and bared his front teeth.

  His jovial reaction eased my fears, and I giggled at his rabbit imitation. “You can never be sure. There could be an angry bunny hiding back there in the brush.” I absently massaged my wrist.

  “If you see one, I think you could stomp your foot and it would run away.” He grinned and took my hand. “I have missed you. I thought keeping my distance from you would build a wall around my heart, but it hasn’t worked.”

  He dropped his gaze and his smile faded when he saw my wrist. Reaching forward, he cupped my hand in his palm. Gently, he rubbed the pad of his thumb across the red marks that surrounded my wrist. “What is this? What happened to you?” Concern shone in his eyes when he looked at me. When I hesitated, he stepped closer. “There is nothing to fear, Jancey. Please tell me what happened to you. I want to help.”

  I withdrew my hand and pulled the edge of my sleeve over my wrist. “It’s nothing.”

  “Nein! I can see something has happened, and I want you to tell me.” He shot me a pleading look. “You can trust me. Don’t you know that by now?”

  I forced a smile. “One of the men came into the dormitory before I left. Some of his belongings had been moved, and he thought I’d done it. I told him I hadn’t, but he didn’t believe me.”

  “So he grabbed you and caused that mark on your wrist?” Ritt scowled and shook his head. “Tell me his name. I am going to go and talk with him right now.”

  “No, Ritt. I don’t want to cause him trouble. The outsiders have very few possessions. Most of them don’t know the Lord, so their possessions mean a great deal to them. To confront him won’t reflect God’s love.”

  “It is gut to show God’s love, but love must be tempered with wisdom. Your compassionate heart is beautiful, but these men are wise to the ways of the world. If you are not cautious, they will take advantage of your caring ways.” He pointed to my arm. “And this behavior is unacceptable. A man who does harm to a woman should not be working in the village. If you won’t give me the worker’s name, at least speak with Brother William.”

  The final bell tolled and I waved toward the path. “Run ahead of me so we don’t appear at the same time. Or there will be talk.”

  He glanced at the path and then back at me, obviously wanting to remain until I agreed to speak with Brother William.

  “Hurry!” I urged.

  I sighed when he turned and ran. I wanted to be honest with Ritt, yet fear of his reaction caused me to vacillate. Would revealing the truth spell the end of our fragile relationship? Ritt wouldn’t think me such a wonderful person once he knew I’d gone off to meet with Thomas and had unearthed hidden money in the dormitory—money that was now missing.

  I was the last to enter the women’s door of the Küche. Wooden benches scraped on the plank floor, and the shuffle of feet filled the room for a few minutes. The hushed voices silenced when Brother William bowed his head. Another shuffle of feet followed the prayer as we all sat down. Soon the clatter of forks and knives striking china plates played a harmony all their own, and I was surrounded by a symphony of pinging silverware. Throughout the meal, I refrained from looking toward the outsiders’ table. I didn’t want to chance locking gazes with Thomas.

  As soon as we’d recited the after-meal prayer, Sister Hanna signaled to me. “I have a basket ready for your Mutter. I’m sorry, but I must stay and help with the canning.”

  The heat from the kitchen had colored her cheeks rosy. No doubt the kitchen would become even warmer by the time the sisters finished canning cherry juice this afternoon—one of the colony favorites, at least in Madelyn’s opinion.

  “I am always happy to take lunch to my mother. You should never apologize for being busy. Your work at the Küche must come first.” I grasped the handles and picked up the basket, pleased I would be walking in a different direction than the men returning to the mill.

  I did my best to remain focused upon how I should handle all of the problems that had taken root since the day I’d first picked up that picture of Kathleen. My thoughts leapfrogged from one incident to the next, yet I’d come to no resolution by the time I arrived home. I still didn’t know if I should reveal the entire truth to Ritt, if I should wait on Nathan to do as he’d promised, or if I should give Thomas his sister’s address in Salina. I had so many questions, but no answers.

  My mother was sitting in the chair next to her bed when I arrived home. She’d arranged her hair in a tight bun at the nape of her neck, and a hint of pink colored her cheeks. She clapped her hands together. “How wonderful. I didn’t expect to see you.”

  I smiled and leaned down to kiss her cheek. “I’m pleased to see you’re feeling well enough to get up by yourself.” After placing the basket on a nearby table, I lifted the jars of food from inside the napkin-lined container. “I hope you haven’t tired yourself too much.” I handed Mother a napkin and the silverware while I arranged the contents of the basket on a china plate.

  She laid the napkin across her lap and placed the silverware on the small table beside her chair. “I feel quite good today. Do you have time to sit and visit for a short while before you go back to work?”

  There would be more wash to hang, but it wouldn’t be ready for at least another hour, and I’d completed most of the dormitory cleaning before lunch. “I can stay while you eat and I’ll return the basket on my way back.”

  Mother picked up her fork. “You
talk; I’ll eat.”

  I fidgeted with the corner of my apron for several moments, then looked up and met my mother’s gaze. “Have you ever been in a situation you didn’t know how to resolve?”

  My mother smiled. “I can think of several that have occurred throughout my life. Does this problem still revolve around Nathan and Ritt?”

  “A little, but not entirely.”

  “Well, you’ve stirred my interest even more.” She forked a bite of stewed chicken. “Exactly what is this problem you’re trying to solve?”

  I didn’t plan to give my mother the particulars, but if I spoke in generalities, maybe she could lend some advice. “If you care for someone, do you think it’s absolutely necessary to tell them everything that is going on in your life?”

  My mother wiped her lips with the cloth napkin. “That’s an evasive question. Would I be right if I guessed that you don’t want to tell me the details?”

  I grinned. “You’d be correct.”

  “You’ll need to give me more than a snippet before I can provide any sort of helpful answer.” She pointed her fork at the potato dumplings. “The dumplings are excellent.” She leaned back in the chair. “How much does this secret you’re keeping affect the person you care about? Is he—I assume you’re speaking of a man?” I bobbed my head. “Is the secret something that involves him? You truly must tell me more before I can make any assessment, though I believe there are very few circumstances when secrets are a good thing.”

  I brightened at her last remark. “You believe there are some occasions when it wouldn’t hurt?”

  Her eyebrows pinched together. “I think you may be twisting my words to make you feel keeping a secret is acceptable, and that was not my intention.”

  “But you said there were a few circumstances—”

  “A very few.” Her frown deepened. “I need more specifics.”