Cold Feet

by Brenda Novak

  “You’re not buying it, huh?”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “Okay, I’d have to draw the line at six. What about you?”

  “I’m happy with Brianna,” she said. “I think I’m done.”

  His grin was slightly crooked, and the look in his eyes mocked her. “Liar. You want at least one or two more.”

  She shouldn’t have continued smiling, because he’d caught her. But she couldn’t help it. She smiled a lot when she was with Caleb. Most of the time he didn’t even have to say anything funny. He just had to look at her. But he was right. She did want more babies. She wanted them with a man she loved and respected, a man who loved and respected her. She didn’t want to risk another divorce, more heartache, a difficult childhood for those children.

  She pursed her lips, bent on a little teasing of her own. “Okay, let me see. If I remember correctly, I’ve got a baby slotted for five years from now. But that’s only if I happen to meet someone in three, as you mentioned earlier.”

  “I’m going to have to burn that damn day planner of yours,” he said, getting up.

  “Don’t you do anything according to a schedule?” she asked.

  Mac came hurrying out of the house, still on the phone. Caleb stepped aside to let him pass, but his gaze followed his brother-in-law across the lawn, and his expression wasn’t a happy one. “And wind up like that?” he said, jerking his head toward Mac’s retreating back. “Not if I can help it.”

  “CALEB, WHAT ARE YOU thinking?” Justine asked, her voice a harsh whisper as she trailed him into the kitchen.

  He glanced longingly toward the door that led to the living room, where his sister, nephews, father and Madison were waiting so they could finish the game of dominoes they’d been playing together. “That I shouldn’t have snuck in here for a second piece of cake and let you corner me,” he grumbled.

  She stood in front of the exit and folded her arms. “Don’t try to be funny. I’m your mother, remember? I’m impervious to your charm.”

  “Oh, come on,” he said with a grin.

  “Obviously, you didn’t learn anything from having lived in my house for eighteen years of your life,” she said without so much as a responding smile. “Can’t you see what’s happening here?”

  “Nothing’s happening.” He’d been having such a great time, he refused to think seriously about anything else right now. “We’re playing bones. That’s it. And I’m about to win.”

  “That’s not it, Caleb. You can’t look anywhere in the room except at Madison.”

  “So I like looking at her. She’s an attractive woman.”

  “It’s more than that,” she argued. “Not only do you watch every move she makes, you touch her at every opportunity. And—”

  “Mom, I don’t want to talk about this,” he said, and immediately started to walk around her.

  She caught his arm. “I’m trying to tell you that you’re falling in love with the very woman you set out to deceive, Caleb, and I can’t imagine that it’ll end well. What’s Madison going to say when she finds out who you are? When she learns what your real motives have been?”

  “Quit worrying, Mom. I don’t plan to finish my book on her father, so there’s no conflict of interest anymore. And this copycat we’ve been chasing isn’t as close to Madison as we first thought. The way things are now, there’s no reason not to tell her the truth.”

  “Then by all means get to it.”

  “I will.”

  “When?”

  Soon. When it was safe. When he was sure it wouldn’t turn her against him. “I’ll know when the time is right.”

  Justine let him go, but sighed and shook her head. “Just tell me you haven’t slept with her.”

  “Okay, I haven’t slept with her,” he said.

  His mother dropped her head in one hand and began to rub her temples. “I don’t deserve this.”

  “YOU’RE QUIET,” Caleb said on the drive home. “You sleepy?”

  Madison roused herself enough to smile, even though the steady warp, warp, warp of the tires was sending her into a contented trance. Contented… It had been a long time since she’d thought of herself that way. “I was just thinking,” she said.

  Lights from oncoming traffic illuminated Caleb’s chiseled face, and she admired the hollow of his cheeks, the strong jaw.

  “About what?”

  “Everything. Your sister and her husband. Your parents. Your nephews.”

  He passed a slower moving car ahead of them while there was a break in the traffic. “What about them?”

  “I like them. They’re good people.”

  “Sorry about all that stuff with my sister,” he said. “I had no idea Mac had become so neglectful of her and the kids.”

  “I was a little disappointed in him that he didn’t come back and play dominoes with us,” she said. “I know Tamara was hoping he would.”

  “Wasn’t beating the rest of us enough?” he teased.

  She proudly lifted her chin. “I told you I was good at dominoes.”

  “And you certainly proved it. I thought I had you right up until the last.”

  She adjusted her seat belt so she could lean against the door and watch him. “Do you think Tamara and Mac will work things out?”

  “With time.”

  “Do you like Mac?”

  “He’s never been one of my favorites. But then I don’t like Tamara, either, remember?”

  Catching a flash of white teeth as he smiled, Madison laughed. “Which is why you rushed to her rescue when she was upset during dinner.”

  “I didn’t rush to her rescue.” He sounded offended at being so easily found out.

  Maybe he didn’t want to admit it, but he’d done exactly that. Perhaps he hadn’t said a lot to Mac—he probably didn’t feel it was his place to go too far—but he’d definitely taken steps to alleviate his sister’s suffering.

  “I think it’s big of you to baby-sit the boys this next weekend,” she added, infusing her voice with a little arrogance.

  “And I think it’s big of you to help me,” he retorted. “Because if I get stranded at my sister’s house for the weekend, that’s exactly where you’ll be.”

  “Sorry, I’ll have Brianna,” she said breezily.

  “I’m afraid that’s not good enough. We can baby-sit together.”

  She considered him for several seconds, going through her options, then gave in. She didn’t mind. As a matter of fact, she was looking forward to it. “Fine. Brianna will probably be so smitten with those boys she’ll follow them around like a puppy.”

  “Her company will be good for them. The way they talk, you’d think girls were an alien species.”

  “You probably weren’t like that,” she joked.

  “Maybe just a little,” he admitted, but then his eyes took on a devilish light. “I don’t think girls have cooties anymore, though.”

  Madison felt the heightened awareness that seemed to wash over at Caleb’s slightest provocation. She wished he’d hold her hand. She was dying to touch him—anywhere. But he didn’t, and it took her a full five minutes to gather enough nerve to make the first move. Clearing her throat to distract him, she slid closer and rested her hand on his thigh.

  She was hoping he’d let her actions go unremarked, or simply respond by taking her hand. But she should have known he wasn’t going to make anything easy on her. Arching a brow, he gazed down at his thigh, and her hand suddenly felt like a foreign object. “What’s this?” he said.

  “What’s what?” she replied, groaning inside and feeling her face grow warm.

  “Tell me what’s going on.”

  She pulled her hand away. “Nothing’s going on.” Except an absolute fascination with him.

  He chuckled softly. “You’re not very good at hiding your emotions, you know that?”

  “You’re pretty good at it,” she complained. “I think it must be a guy thing.”

  “Wait a second,” he countered
. “I’m not trying to hide anything.” He made a point of reaching for her hand and tightly entwining their fingers, which satisfied her enough to make her feel significantly better. “I’ve made it perfectly clear what I want.”

  She batted her eyelashes at him. “A dozen babies? If that isn’t enough to scare a woman, I don’t know what is.”

  “How would you feel about one or two babies?” he asked.

  “One or two doesn’t scare me,” she admitted. The prospect of having his baby excited her. Which was absolutely crazy. She’d known him only a few weeks, and already she was tempted to forget life’s harder lessons.

  “So what about it?” he asked, kissing her hand.

  “What about what?” she responded, stalling, absolutely riveted to the sensation of his lips brushing across her knuckles.

  “Will you come home with me tonight?”

  No! Yes! Should she go with what she’d learned…or what she wanted?

  “Well?”

  The moment of truth. As she met his gaze, her entire body began to yearn. “Okay.”

  MADISON’S ANSWER STOLE Caleb’s breath. He’d been half teasing, still expecting her to dodge him. But if he could trust the commitment in her eyes, she was serious.

  Evidently he was getting a little ahead of himself. Rubbing the back of her hand against his cheek, he wondered how and when he was going to break the news of who he really was. Considering how quickly things were progressing, he needed to do it soon.

  Just tell me you haven’t slept with her.

  Madison settled closer to him, despite the bucket seats, and laid her head on his shoulder. She was so near, so pliable and willing…And he wanted her.

  If he didn’t tell her, it might make everything worse later on.

  If he did tell her, she might never speak to him again.

  He drove for nearly twenty minutes, wrestling with himself. “Madison?” he finally said when they were nearly home.

  “Hmm?”

  She was half asleep, smelling like heaven and feeling like a dream come true. “Have you ever heard of Thomas L. Wagner?”

  With a yawn, she sat up straight and combed her fingers through her hair. “That’s the name of that crime-writer guy, isn’t it?”

  “He’s written a few books. The one about Dahmer was probably his best.” Caleb glanced at her to ascertain her reaction, and found her frowning.

  “I’ve heard of him,” she said, her voice completely flat.

  “Have you ever read one of his books?”

  “No, but I’ll never forget him. He’s slime.”

  Slime? “He’s not that bad, is he?”

  “Are you kidding? He’s like a vulture, swooping in after a catastrophe to pick the bones of any survivors. He gets rich off other people’s pain.”

  He could see he’d definitely made a positive impression. “He just writes true-crime books. Some people like them. It gets the truth out in the open and sheds some light on the criminal mind.”

  “I guess,” she said in a way that indicated she didn’t agree but was playing neutral. “What about him?”

  Caleb wasn’t sure where to go next. I’m that vulture? “I heard he was doing a book about your father.”

  She shook her head. “He tried, but when the police were never able to solve the case, I think he dropped it. Thank goodness.”

  “Would a book about your father be so bad? Even if Wagner doesn’t write one, someone else might someday.”

  “Maybe—or maybe not,” she said. “In any case, I can wait. Fortunately, Wagner stopped contacting me. I think he moved out of the area.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I happened to be standing in line at a little bookstore downtown when the guy in front of me was buying one of his books. I heard the cashier say Wagner is no longer local. He was lamenting the fact, of course. But I say good riddance.”

  “Right.” Caleb cracked open his window because it was suddenly getting a little stuffy. Good riddance was the last thing he wanted her to say. Especially tonight. Which was why he decided that the truth could wait until morning.

  “SOMETHING’S WRONG.” Madison leaned forward as Caleb pulled into the drive. She was trying to figure out what it was about her house that seemed so…out of place. But a thick fog had descended just after they crossed Deception Pass, and it was so heavy she could barely make out the shape of the house, let alone any details.

  “What do you mean?” Caleb asked.

  “I didn’t leave a light on, for one. I thought about it, but it was still daytime when we left, and I knew I wouldn’t be coming home alone.”

  “Maybe it was already on and you just didn’t realize it.”

  “Maybe,” she said, but she didn’t think so. Especially since there seemed to be several lights on, and…“Oh, my gosh. Is that my…is my window broken?”

  “Where?”

  She pointed to the kitchen window, the one that faced the cottage instead of the front lawn, and Caleb shifted to get a better look. “You’re right,” he said, and jammed the gearshift into park. The car lurched because he hadn’t yet come to a complete stop, but that didn’t keep him from jumping out and jogging over.

  “Looks like someone tried to break in,” he said as she hurried after him.

  “Tried to break in or did break in?”

  “I’m not sure. Give me your keys.” He held out his hand, and she immediately relinquished her house key. “Get in the car and lock the doors,” he said. “My cell phone’s in there. Call the police if I don’t come out in a minute or two.”

  “Maybe we should stay out here and call the police together,” she said, thinking it might be smarter to play it safe. “I don’t want you going in there if—”

  “Whoever was here is probably long gone. Even if he was still inside when we arrived, I’m sure he heard the car and took off,” Caleb said as he walked cautiously around to the front.

  Madison didn’t do as he told her. She ran to grab Caleb’s cell and followed him, afraid to discover what might have been damaged or stolen. She hadn’t been able to turn the real estate brokerage around as quickly as she’d expected when she bought it, and she wasn’t sure she could withstand the financial setback of having to replace a lot of her belongings.

  But everything looked as it always did—until Johnny came down the hall to confront them.

  “Have a nice time?” he asked.

  In what was obviously a knee-jerk reaction, Caleb nearly leveled him, but Madison managed to catch his arm before he let his fist fly. “It’s okay. It’s only my brother.”

  “What the hell is he doing breaking into your house?” Caleb demanded.

  “Somebody cleaned up the garage,” Johnny said. “I figured your mother was onto me, so I had a friend drop me off here.”

  “The same guy who brought you last time?”

  “No, he got picked up for grand theft auto.” He indicated Caleb with a nod of his head. “Who’s this, anyway?”

  Madison put a hand to her chest, trying to even out her pulse. “It’s Caleb Trovato, my tenant.”

  “Caleb who?”

  “Trovato.”

  “Like hell it is,” Johnny said. “I’ve met this guy before.”

  “Johnny, you couldn’t possibly know Caleb. He—”

  “I’m telling you I know him. He came to the prison once, to interview me. But his name wasn’t Caleb…whatever you said.”

  “What?” Madison thought she must have heard wrong. How could Johnny have met Caleb while he was in prison? “You must be confusing him with someone else. Caleb’s from San Francisco.”

  “That’s bullshit,” Johnny muttered. “He’s from right here in Seattle. He’s—” he snapped his fingers impatiently “—I can’t remember the name. But he’s that big crime writer who made a mint off Dahmer’s story. He was hoping to do the same with Dad, remember?”

  “Thomas L. Wagner,” Madison whispered, feeling numb. Sucker-punched. After her conversation with Cale
b in the car, her words sounded like an echo and, when she turned to Caleb, she didn’t have to ask if it was true. She knew from the look on his face.

  “You lied to me,” she said, and suddenly understood why a man like Caleb, who seemed to have it all, would be so interested in a struggling single mother who just happened to be the daughter of an accused murderer.

  And she’d slept with him…. God, she was a fool, a dreamer, despite all previous reality checks!

  “Madison, listen to me,” Caleb said. “Give me a chance to explain.”

  “A chance to explain what?” she replied. “You knew who I was when you moved in, didn’t you?”

  “Of course. But then—”

  “And you thought it was the perfect opportunity to find out everything you ever wanted to know about my father. You thought you’d slip in, see what you could learn while paying for a few weeks’ rent, and the joke would be on me. Well, aren’t you clever.”

  “It was never a joke,” he said. “Sure, I thought it would be one way around your refusal to help me. I believed the people who’ve been hurt by the Sandpoint Strangler deserved some answers. I still believe that.”

  He reached out to grab her arm, but she knocked his hand away.

  “What about me?” she asked. “Don’t I deserve anything, Caleb? Not even the truth?”

  “Because of you, I’m not going to write the book, Madison. I decided that almost the day I met you.”

  She closed her eyes, determined to fight the tears that seemed to be her heart’s only recourse. “You offered to be my friend,” she said hoarsely. “I trusted you.”

  “I am your friend.”

  She shook her head, scarcely able to swallow for the lump in her throat. “You’re no friend of mine, Caleb or Thomas or—or whoever you are.” She motioned toward the door. “Get your things from the cottage and get out of my life.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CALEB HAD BEEN STANDING at his window, watching Madison’s house ever since he’d left it. He’d seen her cover the broken window with plastic, but he hadn’t seen Johnny come out yet. Madison was probably letting her brother stay the night. Caleb hated the thought of that. He didn’t believe Johnny presented any real danger to her, but he knew Madison was already struggling to keep her business afloat and, with recent events, she didn’t need anything else to worry about.