Pretty Boy

by Carlos King

  PRETTY BOY

  By Carlos King

  http://carlosjking.blogspot.com

  CHAPTER 1

  Inside of a lavish white home in Miami, Florida, a high-tech alarm clock goes off at exactly 6 a.m., bringing a start to the day. The hand of the person sleeping in a king-size bed reaches out from under the covers and aims a remote control toward the clock, presses a button and shuts it off. Seconds later, the covers are pulled back, revealing twenty-nine-year-old Jovon Smooth, who removes his wave cap as he stretches and yawns. Jovon gets out of bed and makes his way toward the adjoining bathroom. Once inside, the first thing he does is square himself in the mirror to better admire his reflection.

  “God damn I’m sexy!”

  Jovon admires his chiseled physique in the mirror by tightening his stomach, flexing his six-pack. “I could wash my boxers on this shit.”

  Once he’s had his fill in the mirror, he begins getting ready for work. The first thing Jovon does is jump in the shower. After ten or so minutes, he slips into an Armani suit and makes the final adjustments to his attire in a full body mirror in his living room before applying his $300 pair Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses before heading out the door.

  The garage door opens and a 2012 Chrysler 300 with custom 22 in rims pulls out, its shinny blue paint gleaming under the sunlight. The vanity plate on Jovon’s immaculately polished vehicle reads: 2FLY4U (Too fly for you). While driving, Jovon appears to catch the eye of every woman on the street. From women who are driving, to women who are just walking along the sidewalks; they all fall prey to Jovon’s attractive looks and stylish car.

  While sitting at a stop light, Jovon nonchalantly spots a beautiful lady sitting in the car beside him. He wastes no time in making his play for the slightly older woman.

  “Excuse me, Miss,” Jovon begins, talking loudly so his voice carries over their humming engines, but still maintaining a smooth tone. “I don’t mean to bother you and believe me, this isn’t something I normally do, but I would never be able to forgive myself if I blew an opportunity to tell you how beautiful you’re looking right now.”

  The woman shoots a smile at Jovon before turning her head back towards the light.

  “Hazel,” Jovon added before also turning his eyes forward.

  The woman turns back toward Jovon, a curious expression on her flawless face. “Excuse me?” she asked.

  Jove looks at the woman, removing his sunglasses, also. “Your eyes…They’re hazel.”

  The woman pulls of her sunglasses and smiles. “How did you know that?”

  “I take this route to work just about every day. I would have to be blind not to notice a mature, sexy, sophisticated woman like yourself. The only reason why I called out your eye color is because I wanted you to know that I genuinely admire your beauty. I didn’t want you to think I was just playing some kind of juvenile game. I’m sorry I bothered you.” Jovon reapplies his glasses.

  The flattered woman continues to smile. “Do you have a pen or cell phone handy?”

  Jovon smiles as he holds up his cell phone. He presses the record button just as the woman begins to call out her phone number.

  Several miles later, Jovon pulls into the employee parking lot of an enormous law firm building. While making his way through the building, Jovon appears to be the center of attention for all the ladies that work there. Even the gay mailman takes a double look at Jovon as he walks by. Jovon soon walks into his office and sets his briefcase down on his desk. Moments later, Vinny Valentino, Jovon’s best friend of fifteen years, walks in with a huge grin on his face.

  “So, what happened?” asked Vinny, his Italian accent noticeable.

  Jovon reaches into his inner jacket pocket, pulls out his IPhone and tosses it to Vinny. Jovon reclines in his leather chair, his fingers interlocked behind his head. Vinny sits in the chair in front of the desk.

  “Push the green button,” Jovon told him.

  Vinny pushes the green button as instructed and a voice calls out the time and day of the last recorded entry. Shortly after, the woman who Jovon met earlier at the stoplight comes on, reciting her number.

  “I don’t believe it,” Vinny said, clearly in awe. “How the hell did you pull that off?”

  “I told you, Vin, women are predictable creatures of nature. After I picked you up for work yesterday and we saw that lady, on that particular street, at that particular time, it was easy for me to conclude that that was a daily route for her. No one is up that early and dressed that classy unless they’re on their way to work. That meant it would be only a matter of time before I bumped into her again.”

  “But she seemed stuck up as hell,” said Vinny. “How did you get her to give you the time of day?”

  “I told her something she wanted to hear,” Jovon grinned.

  “What?” Vinny asked, sitting on the edge of his chair.

  Playfully deciding on whether or not he wants to reveal his secrets to Vinny or not, Jovon relents. “Alright. She was wearing these dark ass sunglasses, right? So I told her that I had noticed her so much that I already knew her natural eye color was hazel.”

  “Wait, if she had glasses on how could you tell?”

  “I couldn’t,” Jovon admitted. “But I have sisters…And I know how women work. I’ve been with enough chicks to know that the most popular eye color amongst black women is hazel. Even if her eyes are dark brown and you mistakenly say they’re hazel, she won’t correct you. Not to mention, I caught the color of her mascara through the corner of her glasses. Any woman who knows her fashion knows that whatever her eye color is, she should wear a make-up that defines it.”

  “So you pretty much guessed then, right?” Vinny asked.

  “It was an educated guess, but a guess all the same.”

  Vinny stood up and walked Jovon’s phone over to his mahogany desk and set it down. “So you gonna call her?”

  “Maybe next week,” Jovon huffishly replied, slowly spinning his leather recliner around in circles. “I’m jammed packed for this one. I’ll probably call her next Thursday or something.”

  “Hey, forget about it,” Vinny came back, sounding like a cast member from Godfather. “She’s too fine to be put on a waiting list, J.”

  “Forget about it?” Jovon repeated, spinning around to look at Vinny with a curious eye. “Vin, why do you keep trying to sound like somebody from Goodfellas?”

  “Hey, a little respect, okay,” Vinny said, defensive. “My dad knew that rat bastard Donnie Brasco, alright? Because of that no good son of a bitch, my dad’s gonna be spending the rest of his life in the joint. I could’ve been a made-man if it wasn’t for that rat bastard.”

  “I guess,” Jovon shrugged.

  “Enough about me, though, let’s get back to you…” Vinny redirected back to Jovon, “Mr. Top attorney in the state, possibly a future partner with the company, ladies’ man, rich, good looking…You even have a better hairline than me. I hate you, you smug bastard,” Vinny joked.

  Jovon laughs. “You don’t have to hate me, man. Remember, I’m showing you the tricks of the trade, baby. By this time next year, you gone have more females than Hugh Heffner, ya dig?”

  “I appreciate you saying that, J, ‘cause I gotta tell you, I’m getting tired of you guys mistaking the women I date for drag queens. The shit just ain’t funny no more.”

  Jovon sits up his chair and folds his arms across his desk. “You can’t deny it, Vin…That chick you brought to last year’s Christmas party looked like she could bench press a good 300 pounds easy.”

  “She was training for the Olympics. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you assholes that.”

  “Hey, whatever you say, man.”

  Jovon gets a call on his office phone. It’s his secretary, Julie, and
she’s reminding him that he’s due in court within the next twenty minutes.

  “Okay, thanks, Julie,” said Jovon.

  “You’re welcome, Mr. Smooth.”

  “How you doing, Julie?” asked Vinny, leaning towards the phone’s intercom.

  Julie ignores Vinny’s greeting and hangs up, but before the line dies, Julie can be heard saying, “Go to hell!”

  “Ooch!” Jovon mocked.

  Staring at the phone in disbelief, Vinny glanced over at Jovon. “Did she just tell me to go to hell?”

  “Yes…” Jovon answered bluntly, reaching for his briefcase. “Yes she did.”

  Vinny stands up and adjusts his tie. “Fucking bitch.”

  Jovon laughs. “Told you not to go on that date with her.”

  “What? You’re the one who hooked me up with her.”

  “I’m not talking about the date you had with Julie. I’m talking about the date you had with her best friend.”

  “Come on, did you see her friend?” said Vinny. “She was fucking hot.”

  “So? There’s just certain things you just don’t do, Vin, and dating best friends is one of them. It’s against the rules.”

  “Fuck the rules! You said it yourself. The last girl I dated looked like Veerra from In Living Color. So when I saw a chance to get at two hot broads, I took it. I wouldn’t have gave a shit if they were mother and daughter…I’d do it all over again today.”

  Jovon continues to laugh as he prepares to exit his office.

  “See that’s your problem,” said Jovon. “You don’t have any class.”

  Vinny follows Jovon to the door. “So we still on for tonight?”

  “Yeah. I’m gonna put in an hour of workout time at the gym first and then I’ll head over to the club to meet up with you guys. I should be there around eight or nine. That cool?”

  “Cool,” Vinny responded.

  Jovon places a sympathetic hand on Vinny’s shoulder. “Maybe we can find you somebody to take home while we’re there.”

  “Shit, I’ll take it however I can get it,” Vinny said with a devious smirk.

  “See it’s that type of thinking that got yo’ ass arrested that one time.” Jovon leads Vinny out of his office. “Trying to take shit however you can get it is what made that girl report yo’ ass to the police. How many times I got to tell you, Vin? No means no.”

  Just as Jovon’s office door closes, Vinny says, “That was bullshit, J, and everybody knew it. That’s why the DA dropped the charges.”

  CHAPTER 2

  Jovon is casually pacing around within the confines of a courtroom, addressing the twelve members of the jury, the four alternates and the presiding judge. He’s using his charm and charisma to woo not only the attractive young judge, but all of the women on the jury as well. His strategy appears to be working because not only are several of the lady jurors giving him seductive looks and smiles, but Jovon has also noticed the judge giving him a few smiles as well.

  “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,” said Jovon, his hands in his pants pockets. “What you’ve heard today is nothing more than circumstantial evidence that has been put together to make an innocent man,”—Jovon removes one of his hand from his pocket and gestures to his clean-cut client—“my client, look guilty in a court of law. I’ve not only shown you how poor the evidence was, but I even went the extra step to bring in several witnesses to counter everything the prosecution based their case on. Now, I know that you all are tired and drained with all that has been asked of you, but I must ask you to complete one more task. Find my client innocent of these flagrant charges. That way, the lovely ladies of the jury can go treat themselves to a night out on the town,” Jovon concluded, with a hypnotizing smile.

  Several female jurors try to conceal their grins. Jovon then turns his mesmerizing smile towards the presiding judge. “Thank you, Your Honor. It has been a pleasure litigating in your courtroom.”

  The female judge fights the urge to smile as Jovon heads back to his seat. When Jovon finally reaches his chair, he leans over to his client and confidently whispers, “We got this thing locked up.”

  A little while later, the jury files back into the courtroom with their verdict. Before the members of the jury take their seats, one of the women jurors shots a quick smile and a wink at Jovon. Seconds later, the jury foreman announces that he and the other eleven members of the jury have found Jovon’s client innocent of all charges. After court was adjourned, Jovon begins packing his briefcase when the judge subtly approaches him and discretely hands him a small piece of paper.

  “Call me,” she mimed.

  The judge walks off, switching noticeably, despite the coverage of her robe. Jovon tucks the number in his pocket. Shaking his head, Jovon smiles and says to himself, “Just another day in the office.”

  A few more hours go by and Jovon finds himself in the gym working out. While running on the treadmill, he notices two beautiful young ladies staring at him from across the room. Being the ever-so-smooth guy he is, Jovon acts as if he doesn’t see the two women, which eventually leads to one of the young lady’s approaching him and giving him their number.

  Lying in wait, a very large and extremely shy young woman is paying close attention to Jovon as she slowly pedals away on a stationary bike. Thirty-year-old Ebony Brooks watches Jovon as he exchanges words with the attractive young woman before she herself eventually exits the gym en route to the restroom, passing by Jovon and the two women in the process. Ebony walks in front of the restroom’s mirror and gives herself a bit of a pep talk.

  “You can do this. Just go and talk to him. You’re just as good as those other girls. You’re just as pretty. Now go over there and talk to him.” Ebony takes a deep breath. “Okay, here we go.”

  When Ebony returns to the gym she’s surprised to see Jovon is no longer there. After briefly scouring the gym and hallway, she walks over to one of the many windows in the gym that overlooks the parking lot. She spots Jovon climbing into his sleek Chrysler 300.

  Ebony watches as Jovon pulls out of the parking lot and accelerates up the street. “Damn!”

  CHAPTER 3

  Relaxing inside a dimly-lit lounge with he and Jovon’s other two best friends is Vinny. With music playing softly in the background, twenty-eight-year-old Lewis Washington and twenty-nine-year-old Michael Hawes are participating in a heated debate with Vinny over a typical conversation one would expect three men to be having while throwing back a few drinks.

  “Are you kidding me? Forget about it,” said Vinny in his thick Italian accent.

  Lewis replies, “What are you talking about? You’d have to be blind not to see that.”

  “Look, I don’t care what you say”—said Vinny, slamming his palm on the table repeatedly. “There’s no way Kim Kardashian has a better body than Jennifer Lopez. Have you seen Anaconda at all?”

  “I’ve seen Anaconda. Now have you seen Keeping up with the Kardashians? And if you need more proof than that, watch the sextape. I have it at home if you need to borrow it.”

  Vinny shook his head. “I’ve seen the tape, okay? But I can’t watch that shit again. There’s something about Ray-J being a part of it that just took me right out of it. He ruined the whole experience of seeing Kim Kardashian naked.”

  “Yeah, same for me, too,” Lewis agreed. “But despite the discomfort of that mothafucka being in it, Kim is still sexy as hell…And she knows how to be a freak.”

  “Look, I never said she wasn’t sexy,” Vinny declared, taking a sip from his drink.

  “Well you’re sitting here saying her booty ain’t as big as J-Lo’s and I’m saying it is.”

  “Okay, maybe she might have a bigger ass,” Vinny conceded. “You happy now? Are you satisfied?”

  “How the hell can I be satisfied?” Lewis griped. “I’m sitting here talking about an ass I’ll probably never see in person. The only way I could be happy is if I had either one of them handcuffed to the radiator in my bedroom. Then I’d be satisfied
.”

  Vinny’s brow arches. “That’s a little disturbing.”

  “Whatever, Vin,” Lewis said, picking up his glass. “You know I wouldn’t do no shit like that for real.”

  “Yeah that was disturbing, too, but what I was actually referring to the fact that you stay in a house that still has a radiator in it. Didn’t they outlaw those things because people kept getting third degree burns from them?”

  “You know who has a great body?” Mike asked, finally breaking his silence. “Beyonce.”

  “Beyonce?” Vinny repeats. “What the hell are you talking about? We stopped talking about that shit two minutes ago.”