by Carlos King
“I’m totally stumped,” Dr. Lee admitted. “We’ll just have to send you out for testing. We should know something in a couple weeks.”
“A couple of weeks?” Jovon whined. “I don’t think I can wait that long to see what’s eating all my damn hair.”
“Actually, I’m pretty curious myself,” Dr. Lee said, staring at Ryan’s head.
It takes a few hours for Jovon to complete all of his medical testing, but when he does, he goes directly home. The time is now nearing 8 p.m. and Jovon is sitting pitifully on his couch, still wearing his ball cap. He’s also wearing a tee-shirt and some jogging pants as he aimlessly watches television. Suddenly, there’s a knock at his front door. Jovon gets up, walks over to the door, unlocks it and heads back to the couch. Vinny, Mike and Lewis walk in.
Vinny approaches the couch where Jovon has plopped down. “Hey, what happened to you today? I thought you were coming to work after your doctor’s appointment?”
“I had to go take some tests,” Jovon told him. “I just got done with all that shit two hours ago. So I decided to just call off.”
Vinny looked at Jovon with a suspicious eye. “You mean to tell me that you had tests ran on you because of some missing hair.”
“I had some tests ran on me one time for some missing hair,” Mike injected.
After Jovon hears Mike say this, he mutes the TV and turns to him, somewhat hopeful. “You did?” Jovon asked.
“Yeah. For some crazy reason my pubic hairs started falling out. That shit really freaked me out.”
Jovon is no longer hopeful, and no longer interested. “Yeah, thanks for sharing, Mike.” Jovon turns the television’s volume back up.
Vinny stares at Mike. “Dumbass.”
“Something else has gotta be wrong with you, J,” Lewis speculated. “Who makes a trip to the doctor just because they’re having a bad hair day?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” said Jovon, staring at the television.
“I’m just saying,” Lewis continued, “something else has gotta be wrong with you to make you go to the doc’s office.”
Jovon snaps. “You wanna know what’s bothering me?! You really wanna know?! Alright, I’ll show you!” Jovon takes off his hat. “This is what’s bothering me!”
Vinny, Mike and Lewis are all shocked and their dropped jaws show it.
“Do you see why I went to the doctor’s now!? In just two days I’ve gone from a head full of hair to this shit! I look like George Jefferson!”
“What the hell happened to you?” asked Lewis, studying Jovon’s head. “Your scalp has aged forty years since yesterday.”
“Damn,” Mike mumbled. “I didn’t even lose my pubics that fast.”
Vinny adds, “Shit…I thought I’d be the first to go bald.”
Upset, Jovon puts his hat back on and continues watching television.
“Hey, don’t sweat it, J,” Vinny said. “We’re all going to lose our shit eventually. At least you’re getting it out the way early.” Vinny paused. “You know what? You should come out with us tonight. Try to get your mind off things.”
“No, thanks. I’d rather stay in tonight if you don’t mind.”
“Alright. Come on guys, let’s go,” Vinny said, gesturing for Lewis and Mike to follow him out.
The guys get up and head for the door. Just as Vinny is walking out, he turns back to Jovon, who’s still sitting hopelessly on the couch. “Don’t let it get you down, J. Remember all that shit you were telling us about swag.”
Jovon glances back at Vinny.
“You sure you don’t wanna come out with us?” Vinny asked one last time.
“Yea…I’m sure,” Jovon passed, still contemplating Vinny’s advice. “Y’all go have fun.”
“I know I will,” said Vinny with a grin. “Since you’re not going that means I’m gonna be the good looking one of the group tonight.”
Jovon laughs and Vinny exits. After sitting there for a few moments, it finally hits Jovon that Vinny’s right. Jovon gets up and heads toward his bedroom, a renewed pep in his step.
Chapter 8
The next day, Jovon is just arriving at work and is walking through the halls with a renewed confidence. As he makes his way toward his office he passes by Vinny’s door. Vinny, who’s on his phone when he catches glimpse of Jovon, quickly ends his call and immediately leaves his office to chase after him. Vinny eventually catches up to Jovon at his office. As Vinny prepares himself to see what horrifying condition Jovon may be in today, he’s ultimately shocked by what he discovers. Not only has Jovon adapted to his ailing situation, but he’s somehow managed to make it work for him. He’s shaved his head completely bald and the dark blemishes under his eyes are gone.
“Forget about it!” Vinny excitedly exclaimed. “Look at this guy. I see you’re back to normal again…Minus the hair.”
“Oh yeah,” Jovon beamed, his million dollar smile back in full effect. “I cut what was left of my shit off…It probably would’ve fallen out on its own anyway in a couple more days. I figured I might as well save myself some time.”
“I can see that.”
“I started thinking about people like Jordan, DMX, and Tupac. All of those guys started rocking the bald look once their shit started receding. So I’m like, if they can do it and make it work, why can’t I?”
“Good for you,” said Vinny. “I see you even went as far as waxing your shit…Nicely done. It gives your head that polished, rich look. Your bags are gone, too, huh?”
“Yeah, man.” Jovon walks up to Vinny, places a hand on his shoulder and tells him, “I owe all this shit to you, my clippers, and the fine people who make caramel colored blemish…But don’t you tell nobody that shit.” Jovon moves back toward his desk. “Yesterday I was depressed as hell, but when you reminded me about my inner swag, that shit gave me a second wind. So as of today, Jovon Smooth is officially back in this bitch and ready to take care of all my back logged pimping, ya’ dig?”
“I’m glad to hear that. Seeing you like this is a beautiful thing. For a second there, I thought me and the guys were gonna have to put you on suicide watch.”
“You know y’all would never have to do that with me. Besides, we’re already on suicide watch for Mike.”
“Well, hey, I have to get back to my office,” said Vinny. “I’m expecting a call from Natasha.”
“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask you about that,” said Jovon, folding his arms across his chest. “How’s that going?”
“I did exactly what you said. You know, about not calling her for at least four days. That jazz worked perfectly. Now, all of a sudden, it seems like nothing but fine ass women are all I know how to get. I just do the same thing you told me to do with Natasha for all of them and it works every single time. I can’t miss,” Vinny divulged with a smile so wide it looks like it hurt.”
“I told you,” Jovon replied with a grin. “Women are very predictable creatures.”
Julie buzzes in on Jovon’s office phone.
Mr. Smooth, there’s a woman out here to see you.”
Jovon turns to Vinny, his grin turning to a smile. “Here comes one of my lovely’s right now.” Jovon pushes a button on his phone to talk to Julie. “Alright, Julie, send her in please.”
“Have fun, J,” Vinny pointed to him as he back-pedaled out of Jovon’s office. “I need to get back to my phone.”
As Vinny leaves the office, Jovon takes a seat behind his desk and strikes a pose in an attempt to impress the woman who’s come to see him. When the lady who’s come to see him steps in his door way, he’s surprised by who it is.
“Hello, Jovon,” said Ebony Brooks as she boldly strut into his office, taking a seat in a chair directly in front of his desk. While her face looks familiar, Jovon can’t quite place where he knows the eloquently dressed young woman from, who’s wearing a black dress and white silk blouse.
“Hello,” Jovon hesitantly replied, abandoning his pose to sit upright.
&nbs
p; “You don’t remember me, do you?” Ebony asked softly.
After studying her face closely, it dawns on Jovon where he knows her from. “You’re the chick from the lounge that night, right?”
Pretending to be shocked, Ebony places a hand over her heart. “He does remember me. Wow, that’s incredible.” Ebony gracefully crosses her legs, unintentionally bringing her expensive pair of Jimmy Choo’s to Jovon’s attention. “It’s not every day that such a hot commodity like yourself remembers a little old nobody like me.”
“Well, I don’t really consider myself a hot commodity…Just like you really shouldn’t consider yourself as little…And I mean that literally. Now how can I help you?”
“I see you still haven’t learned your lesson yet. You’re still a smart-mouthed asshole.”
“You know what, Ms? It’s time for you to go.” Jovon gets out of his chair and walks toward Ebony.
“You’re a tuff nut to crack,” she smiled, following him with her hazel eyes as he walked toward her. “I have to give it to you. You still look good for this to be your fourth day.”
Puzzled, Jovon asks, “Fourth day? What’re you talking about?”
Ebony laughs. “Have you been experiencing any modifications to your physical features lately?”
Jovon grows curious and partially worried, too.
“I see you’ve decided to go with the bald look,” said Ebony, perching her lips. “It works for you. I’m gonna have to do something about that. Some woman might actually still find you attractive like that.”
“You had something to do with all of this, didn’t you?” Jovon asked, his eyes narrowing.
“No, honey,” Ebony laughed, shaking her head. She then stands up and looks Jovon square in the eyes. “I had everything to do with it.”
“What’ve you done to me, you stubby little fucker?” Jovon scowled.
Ebony smiles and maintains her unwavering poise. “You see, that’s why I did what I did. You’re rude, you’re selfish, and you don’t give a damn about anybody’s feelings but your own,” she said, walking around his office, taking note of all his awards and certificates of achievement.
“What did you do to me?”
Ebony turns to Jovon. “I just put a little root on you…That’s all.”
“A root?” Jovon huffed, a crocked smile on his face. It was obvious he wasn’t a big believer in dark magic.
“Yeah,” she responded with a serious stare. “You have just thirty days to find someone that you sincerely love and they must also love you in return. That’s the only way the curse can be lifted. If you fail to do this within the next thirty days, you’ll be stuck with however you look from that point on until your dying day.”
“Fuck you and your curse, lady,” Jovon told her, dismissing her claim. “You ain’t gone make me do shit I don’t wanna do. And just so you know, I don’t mind being bald for the rest of my life. It saves money on haircuts and shampoos.”
Ebony laughs. “I hope you don’t think it’ll be that simple, Mr. Smooth…Especially not after the way you played me.”
Jovon expression develops a hint of worry.
Ebony goes on to say, “What you’ve gone through so far is just the tip of the iceberg. For the next thirty days, every time you wake up you’ll be stripped of one of your precious attributes.”
“What?”
“You heard me,” Ebony asserted, glaring at him from across the room. “Every day you wake up, something you hold dear to your appearance and persona will be taken from you. It could be something dealing with your body or something material.”
Jovon laughs. “Bullshit!” he declaimed. “Bullshit!”
“You think so, huh?” she smirked, her lip gloss shinning against the incoming light.
“I know so,” said Jovon. “Shit like that only happens in movies. I know what this is. I bet one of my ex’s put you up to this, didn’t they? Which one of those crazy bitches sent you here?” Jovon begins trying to explain his troubles away. “That explains why my hair and shit has been fucked up lately. I knew it was impossible to go that bald, that damn fast. One of them crazy bitches must’ve kept a copy of my house key. That’s alright, though, I’ma changing the locks as soon as I get home. And as for you, get the hell outta my office before I forget I’m a gentle and kick your big ass all through this building for fucking with my hair.”
Jovon turns away from Ebony and sits back at behind his desk. Once seated, Ebony sits back in the chair across from his desk and leans forward, resting her forearms on its mahogany surface.
“Let me tell you a story, Jovon, and you can best believe it’s true.”
He doesn’t know why, but Jovon indulges Ebony’s request to tell her story. He leans back in his chair and folds his arms across his chest. The smirk on his face is indicative of his callous disregard for what she’s about to say.
Ebony begins. “On August 4, 1819, a great woman named Marie Laveau married a man named Santiago Paris. Now, for their first few weeks of being a married couple everything appeared to be going perfect. But that was only until Marie found out her newly-wedded husband had began an affair two months into their marriage. That proved to be a very big mistake on his part. You see, Marie was a very powerful voodoo practitioner who had a very low tolerance for bullshit. Santiago was a lot like you. Arrogant and insensitive to the feelings of others.”
Jovon continues to listen.
“Eventually she and Santiago separated. Marie went on to have several kids by another man, including a daughter. Her name was Marie Laveau II, but she sometimes used the name of Paris. For years, the legacy of voodoo was passed down from generation to generation. Imagine it, Jovon, a legacy being passed down from one of the most powerful women in the history of black magic, from mother to daughter for nearly 200 hundred years.
“It was said that the family began using what they learned for evil doings. So much so that eventually the family members who weren’t doing wrong, changed their names to separate themselves from the stigma their relatives created. The Laveau’s changed their names, and the Paris’s changed theirs. The families eventually scattered across the country, and then soon across the world. But despite being separated, they were all told about their ancestors and informed about their true names. Now flash forward to this day in age. Can you imagine crossing someone like that? Someone who has all the power in the world and the strong will to use it. I sure wouldn’t want to cross anybody like that…” Ebony gives Jovon a malevolent gape. “And I sure as hell wouldn’t wanna piss them off.”
Ebony gets up and hands Jovon a business card. Jovon, who is still contemplating what he’s just heard, jumps back slightly when Ebony extends her hand toward him. He reluctantly takes the card.
“If you have any further questions, which I’m sure you will, call me,” she said, giving him a courteous grin.
Ebony is about to walk out of Jovon’s office, but suddenly pauses when Jovon calls out to her.
“What ever happened to the dude, Santiago?” Jovon asked, his voice shaky.
Ebony faces Jovon. “He lost everything that once meant something to him. It turned out Marie had a very vengeful side.”
“What do you mean?” Jovon asked.
Smiling, Ebony answers, “Let’s just say that men back then were more proud of being a man than anything else. When she was done with him, his manhood was no longer an issue…If you know what I mean.”
Jovon shivers and subtly covers his genitalia at the thought. “Shit!” he gasped.
“I know,” said Ebony. “Too bad that wasn’t the worst of it.”
Ebony proceeds to walk out of Jovon’s office, laughing as she makes her way down the hallway. After sitting in his chair thinking for a few quiet seconds, Jovon looks at Ebony’s business card and grows terrified when he reads her full name. The business card reads Ebony Brooks Paris.
“Oh shit!” Jovon said to himself. “The big bitch put a root on me.”
Chapter 9
Jo
von is in law firm library, located in the basement of the building. He’s sitting in front of a computer browsing the internet. As he scrolls through numerous pages of useless information, something startling suddenly catches his eye.
“Fuck me,” he exhaled.
Jovon gets off the computer and rushes to the elevator. Growing impatient at the elevator’s slow pace, he begins to excessively press the elevator’s button. When that fails to work, Jovon heads toward the staircase and ascends to the tenth floor on foot. When he finally reaches the fifth floor he exits the stairwell and runs through the empty hallways. He continues running until he reaches Vinny’s office.
