by Carlos King
Vinny is sitting behind his desk, talking on his office phone. “I miss you, too, baby. I know…I’ve been thinking about you all day.”
Jovon bursts into Vinny’s office and slams the door shut behind himself.
“VINNY!” Jovon shouted, out of breath. “WE NEED TO TALK!”
Startled, Vinny jumps back, nearly flipping out of his chair, releasing a faint scream of panic and inadvertently tossing the phone receiver in the process.
“Jesus!” Vinny said as he recovered from the unexpected shock. He places his hand over his heart. “You scared the hell outta me, man! What the fuck?!”
Realizing he left Natasha on the phone, Vinny picks up the receiver back up.
“I’m gonna call you back, sweetheart…Yeah, you know how it is…Business as usual.” He smiles and coolly concludes, “Alright babe, bye.” Vinny hangs up and turns to Jovon. “Alright what is it, J? You scared the shit outta me. I was just on the phone with Natasha and now she might think I’m a bitch ass because of the way I reacted. What’s up?”
“Man, it’s some crazy shit going on around here,” Jovon told him, his eyes wide.
Vinny stands up. “What?!” he asked frantically. “It’s that fucking mailroom guy, isn’t it? You know, the one who never talks to nobody and always wears those white cowboy boots everyday with them bleach-stained Dickies. I knew that punk was gonna be trouble. What he do? I noticed he came in today with a trench coat on. Son-of-a-bitch is on a killing spree, ain’t he?” Vinny rolls his chair to the right and begins fiddling with one of his desk drawers. “That’s alright, though. I’ve been waiting for some shit like this to jump off.”
Vinny reaches into his desk and pulls out two nickel-finished 9mm handguns. He tosses one to Jovon.
Jovon catches the gun and stares at it in shock. “What the hell?!”
“You came to the right place, baby,” Vinny went on. “I’ve been keeping these two bitches in my desk ever since they hired that rat bastard. Follow me.” Vinny gets up and walks toward his office closet. “I got a couple bullet proof vests hanging up in here.”
“What the hell are you doing!?” Jovon yelled. “Ain’t nobody on no damn killing spree! Put this shit away!” Jovon hands Vinny his gun back.
“Oh shit…Hurry up and give me that shit back then before somebody sees us,” said Vinny, taking possession of his gun.
Staring at his friend in bewilderment, Jovon asks, “Are you crazy or something? Why the hell do you have all that shit in here?”
“Crazy!?” Vinny repeated, offended. “Forget about it, huh? When that psycho bastard finally does go on a killing spree all this shit is gonna save the lives of all you ungrateful bastards, now won’t it? Crazy,” he huffed. “We’ll see how crazy I am when you’re begging me for one of those bullet proof vests one day. ‘Cause I’ll tell you like this, it’s only a matter of time before that lunatic snaps. Think about it. What sane person walks around everyday delivering mail in cowboy boots…Everyday?”
“Whatever, Vinny.”
“So what the hell did you come in here for?” Vinny asked, locking his guns away in his desk.
“Do you remember that big girl from the club the other night? The one I told you tried to talk to me, but I played her ass off.”
“Vaguely. Why?”
“The bitch put a curse on me,” Jovon blurted. “That’s why I look like this. That’s why my damn hair keeps falling out. I’m getting scared, man. She told me that this shit is just getting started and the only way to stop it is by falling in love with someone.”
Vinny erupts in laughter. “You’re kidding me, right?”
Jovon silently stares at Vinny.
“It’s bullshit, J. First of all, there’s no way somebody put a curse on you. That shit is just for TV and movies. Even if that shit was possible, I seriously doubt a chubby broad in this city would know how to pull it off. Forget about it, huh?”
“She seemed pretty convincing to me,” Jovon said, standing nervously in front of Vinny’s desk.
“What, did she call you or something?” Vinny inquired.
“No, she came to my office. When Julie called and said I had a guest…It was her.”
“Really?” Vinny shrugged, rubbing his chin. “Man that takes balls. A guy shoots you down like an enemy plane and you still have the guts to show up in his office. Trust me, J, she didn’t put a curse on you.”
“But what about all the shit that’s going on with me? It’s gotta be coming from something.”
“That’s just shitty luck…Not a curse. Besides, to pull something like that off she’d need to have some type of personal property of yours. You only met her that night at the club, right?
“Yeah.”
“So what are you worried about then?” Vinny asked, his tone carefree.
“Maybe you’re right,” said Jovon, feeling the weight of anxiety slowly lift from his shoulders.
“Of course I’m right. She’s just trying to scare you, that’s all.”
Jovon smiles. “Yeah.”
Vinny sits back in his chair and reclines, placing his feet on his desk and interlocking his hands behind his head. “I mean, she’s no Marie Laveau, right?”
Fright suddenly resurfaces on Jovon’s face. “What did you just say?”
“I said she’s no Marie Laveau.”
Jovon takes a seat in a chair located in front of Vinny’s desk, his eyes growing wide. “What do you know about Marie Laveau?”
“I only know what I learned from this one Creole chick I used to date.”
“And what’s that?” Jovon prodded.
Vinny exhales, not realizing the purpose to Jovon’s questioning. “That she’s supposed to be this powerful voodoo priestess who supposedly taught everything she new to her kids, and they in turn, taught the shit to their kids…So on and so forth.”
“Is that all?” Jovon asked, unnerved.
“Allegedly, their family ended up going buck wild and started cursing people left and right. That pretty much forced the family to go into hiding. Some even went as far as changing their last names.”
Jovon puts his hand over his heart, slouching back in the chair. “Names?” he managed to force out.
“Yeah, they split into two different names, but I can’t really remember why they did that.”
Breathing heavily, Jovon asks, “Do you remember the names?”
“Yeah, um…It was Laveau and…What was the other name?” Vinny struggles to recall. “Oh yeah…Paris.”
Jovon immediately grows lightheaded. “Dear, God.”
Jovon’s eyelids flutter. Seconds later, he passes out, falling out of his chair and landing face-flat on the floor. Vinny rushes from behind his desk to check on his friend.
“Jesus! J!” Vinny called out. “You okay?!”
While Jovon lays on the floor unconscious, Vinny kneels down beside him and notices a business card in his left hand. Vinny takes a hold of the card and reads the name on it.
“Ebony Brooks Paris. Uh, oh…That shit couldn’t be good.”
Chapter 10
Jovon wakes up hours later at his home, lying on the couch. As he slowly awakes, he pats his head and notices that there’s a du rag covering it. He looks around and sees Vinny, Mike, and Lewis sitting at his dining room table, talking amongst themselves.
“What happened?” Jovon asked hazily.
“Bout time you woke up,” said Vinny, getting up from the table to approach Jovon. “You’ve been out for almost four hours.”
Groggy, Jovon asks, “How did I get here? Last I remember we were in your office.”
Jovon tries to get up but instantly falls back to the couch in ache. “Aw shit!” he cried out in pain, grabbing his lower back. “What the hell happened to my damn back? It hurts like hell.”
“Okay, now that would be my fault,” Vinny confessed. “When I was carrying you down the stairs at the firm, you slipped out of the rug I had you rolled up in and you kind of tumbled down two flights of
stairs…Maybe three…Definitely no more than three, though.”
“What?!” Jovon asked, appalled. “Why the hell did you have me rolled up in a rug?”
“Well, when you passed out I tried to pick you up, but you were a too heavy. Then I noticed you were drooling all over my expensive Italian rug, so to save time I rolled your ass up in it. It had to go out for cleaning anyway.”
“Why the hell didn’t you call the paramedics or something?” Jovon asked.
Vinny laughs and then looks back at Mike and Lewis, before turning back to Jovon. “Hello…Did you forget about the two pistols sitting in my desk. If I would’ve reported you blacking out, the head bosses would’ve wanted to review the videotapes. I don’t need that shit in my life, okay? Forget about it.”
“What if I would’ve cracked my head wide open?” Jovon asked skeptically.
“That’s not the issue here,” Vinny told him. “The issue we need to be focusing on regards the broad who’s turning you into a gargoyle. That’s what we should be focusing on.”
“I told you you were too hard on that girl, J,” Lewis injected.
“So y’all believe me now?” Jovon asked, nursing his back.
Vinny replies, “Yeah, we believe you.”
Jovon asks, “What changed your minds?”
Lewis and Mike look away, almost as if they’re trying to ignore the question. Vinny gives Jovon a solemn stare before addressing his inquiry.
“When you passed out I found the card with the girl’s name on it. When I saw what her last name was that kind of got the ball rolling in my head,” Vinny explained.
Jovon shifts his position on the couch. “So that’s what convinced you, huh?”
“Not quite,” said Vinny. “See, right before I rolled you up in the rug, I noticed something about you changing.”
“What?!” Jovon asked, his demeanor becoming unnerved. “What did you see?”
“Now don’t panic,” said Vinny, placing a hand on Jovon’s shoulder. “I don’t want you to get upset.”
Jovon becomes frantic. “What the fuck happened, Vinny?!”
Vinny turns towards Mike. “Mike, bring it to me, man.”
Mike gets up and approaches Vinny and Jovon, carrying something that Jovon can’t quite make out. When Mike reaches them, he hands Vinny the object he’s carrying—it’s a mirror.
Vinny then turns back to Jovon. “Take off the du rag.”
Scared, Jovon asked, “Why? Why am I wearing this thing anyway? I’m bald now.”
Lewis lowers his head in silence.
“Take off the du rag, J,” Vinny repeated, gloomy.
Jovon begins to tentatively take off the du rag. Once he’s finished, Vinny hands him the mirror. When Jovon looks in the mirror his eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets.
“Get the fuck outta here!” Jovon shouted. “How the fuck did my hair grow back?! I just shaved it bald this morning!”
“Technically you hair didn’t grow back,” Mike corrected. “I mean, it grew in, but just in certain spots. You kind of look like Larry off The Three Stooges,” he finished, jokingly.
Vinny tosses a pillow at Mike—“Shut the hell up, Mike!”
“Mike, come sit yo’ confused ass down,” Lewis ordered.
“What?!” Mike asked. “That man looking in the mirror. You don’t think he know he’s balder than a baby’s ass?”
“Mike, shut the hell up…Damn!” Vinny yelled.
Jovon studies his features in the handheld mirror. “When did this happen?” Jovon asked, referring to his hair.
“It started as soon as you passed out. It kept growing up until an hour ago,” Vinny informed him.
“What the hell y’all put a du rag on me for?”
Vinny turns to Lewis.
“Oh, I did that,” Lewis stepped forward. “The way your hair was growing back was kind of tweaking my stomach a bit. It was like watching a chia pet grow in elapsed time.”
“Yeah, an Elmer Fudd chia pet,” Mike added.
Lewis shoots an elbow into Mike’s arm in an attempt to shut him up.
“Ouch, bitch!” said Mike, embracing his arm. “You hit my funny bone.”
Lewis continues speaking to Mike. “But that’s why I put the du rag on, J. The site of that shit growing back was kind of disturbing.”
Jovon looks at Vinny. “It really was,” Vinny confirmed.
Jovon leans back on the couch and covers his face with both hands. “What the hell am I gonna do?” he asked, his manner hopeless.
“I’ll tell you what we should do,” Vinny stepped forth, rising to his feet. “We should get in my car and go pay Ebony Brooks Paris a little visit.”
“That sounds like a plan to me,” Lewis agreed.
“And then what will we do?” asked Jovon, staring up at his ceiling.
“I’ll tell you what we’ll do,” Vinny commanded. “We go over there and smack her ass around for a while until she decides to call this damn root off.”
“Now, I’m with that shit,” said Mike, cracking his knuckles.
“What?” Jovon responded to the absurd suggestion. “Are y’all really talking about going over to a chick’s house and whooping her ass like she’s a dude or something? Are you serious?”
“Come on,” said Vinny. “What’s the matter with you? This girl is treating you like her very own Mr. Potato Head. She’s doing anything she wants, whenever she wants, and you’re protecting her?”
“I don’t give a damn what y’all do,” Jovon surrendered. “I’m not going nowhere until I figure out what the hell I’m gonna do.”
Someone knocks at Jovon’s door.
Jovon turns his sights toward the door, while Vinny, Mike and Lewis suspiciously turn to one another.
“Now who the fuck is that?” Jovon asked.
“That would be Shanti,” Vinny answered. “We decided earlier that we were gonna go pay this Ebony broad a visit. We were only running it by you to be polite. We called Shanti and asked her to come over and keep an eye on you while we take care of business.”
“What? I can’t have no female seeing me like this,” Jovon protested.
Vinny gets up and heads toward the door. “It’s only Shanti, J.”
Jovon begins to reapply the du rag. “I don’t give a damn if it was one of Mike’s sisters. I don’t want nobody seeing me like this.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Mike asked.
“Why did you call her anyway?” Jovon asked. “I’m a grown ass man…I don’t need no damn babysitter.”
“Yeah, we know,” Vinny added, heading towards the door.
“Wait a damn minute,” Jovon said, realizing what’s going on. “Y’all putting me on suicide watch, aren’t you?”
Mike and Lewis exchange odd glances.
“Of course not,” Lewis replied, unconvincingly.
As Vinny gets up to answer the door, Jovon ties the du rag in a knot. Seconds later, Shanti enters the living room and begins walking toward Jovon. As she does so, Lewis, Vinny, and Mike all stare at her curvaceous body.
Shanti displays her concern for her best friend. “Are you okay, J?”
“I’m fine,” Jovon answered, avoiding eye contact. “Why you ask that?”
“Because Mike called and told me what happened.”
Jovon looks pass Shanti and sets his sights on Vinny and Lewis. “Nice work. Y’all let Mike make the call?”
Lewis answers, “We couldn’t find your house phone and he was the only one who had daytime minutes to spare.”
Jovon directs his focus back towards Shanti. “I’m fine.”
“I tried to tell you that all the shit you was doing was gonna come back to haunt you one day,” she pressed.
Jovon turns to Shanti with narrowed eyes. “Well maybe if you would’ve told me that the consequences of such wrong doings would be me living the rest of my life out as the elephant man’s long lost twin, I might’ve listened to you.”
Vinny, Mike and Lewis p
ut their jackets on and gathering up their things, preparing to head out to Ebony’s place.
“We’re about to go take care of that thing for you, J,” said Vinny, sounding like a mob boss.
Jovon pays little mind to Vinny’s words and keeps his eyes settled on the ceiling.
