Disturbed Beauty

by Ashley Beale

  Once Rusty takes a peek inside, he nods his head to Roman. “I’ll see you next week.” Then he turns for his car again, not paying any attention to me.

  As soon as the car is out of sight, Roman grabs my wrist and turns me to face him. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing Liv? Do you not know how to fucking listen?”

  With all my strength I force my arm from his embrace. Even after finding out the he is the man behind it all, I still feel safer arguing with him than anyone else. Maybe because he hasn’t actually already harmed me, or because deep down I believe he won’t, even with the new facts I just learned.

  “Keep your hands off of me Roman! Why would I listen to you? Why?!”

  “Because, like I already told you, I’m the one who can save you.”

  “I don’t need your help!”

  “The fact you’re so damn naive says otherwise. You need it more than you know.”

  Placing my hands on my hips, I give him a look telling him to prove it. “Says the man that is the reason behind why I’m here. Why all these females are here. What is going to happen to me, Roman? You going to rape me, then sell me off to other men to be raped? You going to ask my father for ransom, while you starve me and slave me? Huh?”

  “Fuck,” he hisses, covering his face with his hands. “You don’t understand, Liv.”

  “Enlighten me then. Explain this all to me.”

  “The more I tell you, the more you’re at risk of being killed or sold off. Either one is something I cannot stand for.”

  “Oh, right, because you supposedly love me.” I laugh bitterly. “You have a fucking awesome way of proving that one.”

  “Dammit, Liv.” Roman grabs my shoulders and pulls me closer to him. Our faces just inches from one another. “I could get you back to your dad right now. I could send you anywhere I want, safely, but I know why you’re here. You’re here for Clarissa. You want to save her and escape with her, and I’m going to help you do just that.”

  I roll my eyes but I don’t fight back. “I don’t need your help.”

  “Except, you do.” Roman sighs and lets my shoulders go. “Go in the trailer, Liv. I have some things to share with you.”

  “Like your herpes.”

  A hint of amusement shows on Roman’s face. “I’m not touching you. I’ll never touch you, not without your permission first.”

  Turning with disgust, I head into the trailer like I’m ordered to do. It’s basically a large room, with a table placed off to the side, and several mismatched chairs around it. There is a small counter area, with a sink and mini fridge, and on the other side of the trailer is a door that leads into a bathroom, but aside from that, there is nothing else in the entire place.

  It smells of stale cigarettes and the heat inside the home only makes it worse. "Can you open a window at least?" I ask in disgust.

  “Take a seat,” he requests before closing the door behind us.

  I walk over to one of the chairs and sit down on its ripped blue fabric. Crossing my arms, I lean back, and watch Roman as he opens two of the back windows before taking a seat on the opposite side of me.

  “I’ll tell you some things, Liv, but other things I need to keep a secret. At least for now.”

  “Sounds familiar.”

  “Just let me speak!” I can tell he is getting angry with my remarks, but I literally cannot stop myself from saying them. Finding out he is the reason behind all of this has intensified my anger so incredibly much, and rightfully so. I don’t think I was even close to this angry when I found out Blaise had a hand in it all.

  I felt fear when I found out about Blaise's dirty secret, I feel complete outrage when it comes to Roman.

  “My dad and uncle started this all. I know it’s fucked up, Liv, and I don’t agree with it. I never have. I did what was expected of me, and I continued the business. I had to, and the reasons why are what you’ll find out later, once you’re out of harm’s way.”

  Seeing his sincerity and hearing the remorse in his voice instantly tears down one of my walls, just not enough for me to admit it out loud. There is far too much I need to know still, and with more than just words. I need proof, because I've learned the hard way that actions really do speak much louder than words.

  “You were the one I was supposed to trust, Roman. I just don’t know how you can do this to people. It’s... cruel.”

  “I don’t like to, Liv. I honestly don’t. I can’t tell you more than that. I have to put on a facade, I have to keep my entitlement. I can’t let anyone, not even you, know my real intentions.”

  “How many?” I whisper.

  Roman takes a second to respond, obviously confused by my question. “How many... what?”

  “How many girls have you done this to?”

  He lifts a brow, taken aback by my question. “You expect me to know how many females I’ve sold over the last two decades.”

  “Two decades? You’ve been raping girls for that long?”

  “Shit,” Roman hisses, rising from his seat so fast, you'd have thought that he was being attacked by a werewolf. “I have never fucking raped anyone! I never will Liv! I told you, I’ll never touch you without your consent, and that is how it is with anyone I sleep with. I don’t know what I can do to prove to you that I’m not as disturbed as you think I am. What I do is fucked up, but not nearly as bad as you assume.”

  “So you don’t rape anyone, or turn them into slaves, you just sell them and let others do the dirty work? Make a profit off of people’s misery. Does that make you sleep any better at night?”

  His entire body starts shaking and I’m afraid that I may have pushed the wrong button. I don’t want to be harmed, I just want more answers. I have far too much pent up anger and disgust, I can’t help but blow up right now. It’s my only chance to vent, especially to the man himself.

  Before he has the chance to react in a hastily way, I quickly tell him, “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for.”

  His face burns a bright red hue. “You’re sorry? Liv, don’t. Don’t be sorry. I deserve it. Everything you’re saying to me, I deserve. I’m getting pissed because I want you to understand, but I still can’t tell you! Just be patient with me, please.”

  “You’re not going to hurt me?” I whimper.

  Roman walks around and takes a seat next to mine. He doesn’t touch me, but I can tell he wants to. “Not physically. Not ever.”

  “But Javier and Blaise can?”

  “Unfortunately, Liv. They can, and they will. And I’m going to want to fucking kill them, and in time, I just may do that, but I can’t right now. I told you to stay away. I told you not to turn yourself over."

  “Why am I here? I mean, in this trailer, with you."

  “I wanted to talk to you about a few things. It’s just hard for me to discuss all this with you.”

  “I’d rather you just be honest and tell me what you need to say, than to hide things from me. If you want me to trust you, prove yourself, because right now, with the things I know and am finding out, the more untrusting I’m becoming. I didn’t have much hope coming to Mexico, but deep down I believed you were going to save me. Now, I’m afraid that the only person who can save me is Rusty.”

  Roman’s mouth starts to open then snaps shut. “Rusty? Rusty Greenland?” He points his finger towards the entrance. “How the fuck is he going to save you? What did you say to him?”

  “I can’t tell you, because apparently he is the only person here I can trust."

  His face gets closer to mine, too close for comfort but I don't pull back. "I've told you more than once, do not trust anyone, Liv. No one."

  "Right. You even told me not to trust you," I fire back.

  "For good reason! You see the person I am. You see the fucked up life I live, and the shitty things I do."

  "Exactly. Yet, you keep promising me that you'll save me. This is messed up. It's confusing, and frustrating, and scary as fuck, Roman." My lip starts to quiver as I let him know just how
terrified I really am. "I know I messed up coming here, but you weren't bringing Clarissa to me. You weren't saving her. You couldn't protect my father. I needed to do something, and I did something stupid."

  Roman stands in front of me as tears pour down my face. "Stand up," he tells me, his voice a bit weaker than normal.

  With a shaking body, I do as he asks, and I stand. His arms come around me, holding me close to him. His musky aroma relaxes me almost instantly and I melt into him, closing my eyes. I hold onto him for dear life, because even though I'm not sure of anything right now, he is the closest thing I have to safety.

  My mind, my instincts, everything deep inside keeps telling me to stay away. Keeps telling me not to trust him. But somehow he manages to push all that out the window while he holds onto me.

  "I can't tell you how sorry I am you're involved in any of this," he whispers loud enough for me to hear. "I wanted nothing more than to protect you. I've been trying for years to make sure you were never taken or harmed. I know what people are going to do to you, what they'll expect from you, and what they'll force out of you, and it pisses me off because I can't do a damn thing about it. At least not yet."

  "I thought you were the leader, Roman," I state quietly against his body.

  His hand starts to caress my back, in an attempt to relax my nerves. He doesn't say anything for a moment, probably because he can't tell me the full truth as he claimed earlier, and as soon as he says a word, I quickly interrupt, pushing him back. "For years? Wait... what?"

  Roman's face suddenly pales. I took him completely off guard, but not nearly as bad as he did me. "For years, Roman? How long have you known me? Have you been watching me? Is this some kind of sick game? I feel like a fucking marionette in your life!"

  "Sit," he tells me.

  I quickly shake my head back and forth, "No! Stop with the orders and tell me something real."

  "Do you want to hear about your sister or not, Liv?"

  "M-my sister?" I hesitate. "You're going to tell me everything?"

  "Everything I know." He nods to the chair behind me. "Sit."

  Precariously I sit down, ready to finally hear the truth everyone has been hiding from me, including Taryn.

  Roman takes a seat as well, running his hand through the length of his hair. "About ten years ago, Taryn ran off with a boyfriend, correct? That was the story she told your dad and you?"

  I nod my head, remembering that devastating news. She wasn't old enough to have a boyfriend, but regardless, dad would have allowed them to at least hang out. Taryn called one night, after being gone for almost twenty four hours, and she told my dad she met someone, was in love, and wasn't coming home. She came back almost six months later, looking like a ghost of herself. Her hair was cut off, she looked as though she hadn't seen the light of day in months, and was wearing frumpy clothes that made her look ten pounds heavier, even with a sunken in face.

  A week after she arrived home, she left again with a note, saying 'I'll explain everything later. Please don't come looking for me.' My dad was so devastated, that with a few failed phone calls to friends and relatives, he stopped trying to look for her. When she arrived again, four months after that, she was a mere skeleton. All skin and bones, with raggedy hair that had been growing out, and smelt as if she hadn't showered in a week.

  She got back to her normal size after fighting a severe battle of depression, then she came and went as she pleased. She started to look healthier and happier each time we saw her. Dad would ask questions, and sometimes he'd attempt to follow her, but the more he invaded her world, the more she pulled away.

  Then one day, she announced she met a man, was moving in with him, and it's where she's been living ever since, taking over the life of a homemaker. We were always close until she disappeared with her random boyfriend, and I always wondered what actually happened to her, because my instincts told me there was more. I was just always too afraid to dig for more answers.

  "Blaise has an uncle who started in this business when I was still young, probably three. He always had the best females, and he liked them most when they first arrived, knowing they weren't already too... used. From the rumors I've heard, he found your sister, Taryn, at a grocery store one afternoon, and tricked her into coming with him for one reason or another, and she did. He was going to sell her to my father originally, but something about her intrigued him, and he kept her for himself."

  "I don't know if I want to hear this, Roman." My skin starts crawling, knowing my sister had to deal with the same stuff I dealt with last night. Except, I met Blaise's uncle, and he is far worse in looks and hygiene than any of the men I've met thus far.

  "I won't give you gruesome details."

  I close my eyes and give a curt nod, allowing him to continue.

  "Apparently he fell in love with her or something, no one knows the exact reasoning, but he treated her differently. Then she got pregnant, and there are rules within the business, that if a girl gets pregnant... she is to abort it."

  My eyes fly open. "It all just gets worse, doesn't it?" I snarl.

  He counters with, "It's better than those children being brought into a world of sex slavery and abuse, now isn't it?"

  I can't argue with him on that one, so I don't. It doesn't change the fact that I'm repulsed.

  "He didn't have her abort the child," Roman says, completely surprising me.

  "I'm an aunt?" I ask, not sure if I want to know the answer. Who has this child, and why hadn't I known about this? My father and I could've raised that child if Taryn didn't want to.

  "See, that is what I don't know, Liv. I have no clue what happened to her child, or why he let Taryn go. But he did. He let her come and go as she pleased, but always kept tabs on her. Once in a while, they'd be caught hanging out together after his wife passed away, but that all ended when she got married, at least to my knowledge."

  When I finally escape from here, the first thing I'm doing is asking Taryn about this situation. I want to know if she aborted the child or if she gave it up for adoption, or if there is something more I need to know. I just about hate her for never talking to me about any of this, but at the same time, I can only imagine the pain and torture she had inflicted upon herself.

  And the fact she still talks with Blaise's uncle, or had been in recent years, really upsets me a lot. I don't think I can understand her for that. Not if he was raping her and abusing her. He took her from us, from her family that loved her unconditionally.

  "So... how does this answer why you've been watching me for years?"

  "There was always something dubious about the situation. To be certain he wasn't going to harm the rest of you, I kept an eye on your family, mainly you. I was nearly certain that you were all safe, but then Blaise came to me to tell me that he had you. That he was going to make you pay for what had happened to his uncle. He blames Taryn for so much, I don't even understand. They have their family secrets, things I've never learned but have tried."

  "So if you were watching me and trying to protect me, how did things get so out of hand?"

  Roman's lips start to turn in a fractured smile but it quickly fades. "Because you're one trusting, and sometimes too persistent of a person, Liv. Because you do what you want, not thinking through the consequences. You're too trusting, and too believing."

  "Gee, thanks," I say sarcastically, crossing my arms at my chest.

  "Your flaws are half the reason I fell for you."

  I stand up fast, pushing my chair back with my legs. "I need fresh air, and you need to not say those kinds of things."

  Roman watches me walk out the front door but doesn't follow me. I'm glad I'm able to get at least a few minutes to myself, to process all the new information I've learned. I need to put two and two together, and figure a few things out for myself.

  Roman parks outside of a wrought iron gate and rolls down his window. He punches the numbers four, seven, three, one, one into the keypad. I repeat those numbers to myself over a
nd over in my head. Four, seven, three, one, one. Four, seven, three, one, one. Four, seven, three, one, one. I have no idea if or when those numbers will come in handy later on.

  When the gate opens, Roman pulls forward, down a long paved driveway. There are open fields on either side of the path, which are surrounded by a large brick wall that has to be at least six feet tall. There is no escaping over those walls.

  At a fork in the road, Roman turns right. I look in the other direction and see several other buildings, one that looks like it could be someone's home, the others looking like small businesses. Possibly abandoned buildings. Ahead of us is a gray stoned building with windows so small, you'd have to be two to crawl through one of them. None are close to the ground though, and the fall alone would break your back... or worse.

  There is no doubt what this building is, especially when Roman parks out front. There are two bodyguards standing in front of the door, with long machine guns in hand. There is a belt of ammo tied over each of their shoulders. They look forward, not paying any attention to Roman's car, but it's obvious they'd kill anyone who tried to escape.

  "You're safest here, believe it or not," Roman says as he reaches into the back. He grabs a backpack and places it in his lap, making himself look busy. I can tell he isn't actually pulling anything out or doing anything necessary. He is using it as an opportunity to speak with me one last minute.

  The entire car ride was silent as I stared out my window. He never attempted to tell me where he was bringing me, or encourage me in any way. So the fact he is talking with me right now is a little frustrating. Regardless, I'd rather hear something than to be brought here like every other woman; scared and clueless.

  "Don't try to escape, you'll be dead in an instant. You will see Clarissa, but keep any conversation with her minimal. You may be smartest not to communicate with her at all. There are no cameras, but there are rats. Some of the girls like to tell me, Javier, and Blaise the other girl's secrets to try to get in our good graces. You're never alone, ever."