Deceiving Bella: Book Eleven In The Bodyguards Of L.A. County Series

by Beauman, Cate

  She looked at him with red-rimmed eyes and her nose pink. “He’s gone.”

  “I know. Wanda called me.”

  Her lips trembled as tears fell. “He’s getting—he’s not that warm anymore. I covered him with another blanket, but…” She sucked in several shaky breaths.

  “Bella,” he whispered as he skimmed his fingers along her jaw. Losing Vinny was tough, but seeing her like this was heart-wrenching. “Why don’t I take you home?”

  She shook her head. “I want to stay.”

  “There’s nothing more you can do for him. Let Wanda have her turn.” He lifted Vinny’s hand out of her gentle hold and settled his arm by his side.

  “I can’t leave him,” she sobbed out. “I know he’s not here anymore, but I can’t make myself get up and leave him.”

  “All right,” he soothed as he lifted her into his arms and grabbed her purse. “Let’s go home. Come on, Lucy.”

  Bella nestled her face into the crook of his neck and cried quietly.

  “We’ll get outside and get some fresh air,” he murmured next to her ear as he headed down the hall. “Thank you,” he said to Wanda and walked out to his truck, settling Bella in the passenger side and buckling her belt.

  “I can’t go home with you.”

  “Yeah, you can.” He wiped her cheeks. “Just for tonight.” He closed her in and opened the back for Lucy. “Up you go.”

  Lucy hopped in without hesitation.

  “Good girl.” He gave her a solid pat, then got in and started home in the heavy silence, glancing Bella’s way several times as she stared out her open window. She was exhausted—running on fumes and grief. “We’ll get you some dinner and get you into bed.”

  “I just want a shower.”

  He had every intention of making sure she ate something before she fell asleep, but he said nothing more as he turned into their development, then pulled into her driveway shortly after.

  Bella got out and walked up the path to her front door.

  He let Lucy out of the back and followed, twisting his key in the lock while Bella searched through her purse for her own.

  She glanced up at him, then went upstairs with her puppy following behind.

  Muttering a curse, he moved into the kitchen, grabbing the makings for a sandwich as the water turned on in the master bathroom. He added Dijon mustard and turkey to the slices of whole grain bread, pulled a plate from the cupboard, and walked upstairs to the bedroom as Bella crawled onto her bed in one of her sexy camisoles.

  “Thank you for driving me,” she said as she sat in the center of the mattress, hooking her arms around her knees.

  “You’re welcome.” He joined her in the middle, sitting crisscross by her side. “I made you something to eat.”

  “I’m not really hungry.”

  He lifted a half. “Try a couple of bites.”

  She took the sandwich and nibbled on the corner. “You don’t have to stay. I’m fine.”

  He shook his head, watching her eyes well while she held his gaze. “You don’t have to be okay tonight.”

  She set the sandwich down and covered her face with her hands as she started crying.

  “Come here.” He lifted her, settling her bottom in the empty space between his legs, and pulled her against him, holding her tight.

  She rested her head on his shoulder as she returned his embrace.

  “I’m sorry about your dad,” he said quietly as he slid his hands up and down her back. “I’m sorry you went through that alone.”

  She sniffled, gripping him tighter. “I wanted more time with him. We hardly had any at all.”

  He let his cheek rest against her temple. “I know.”

  “He’s not in pain anymore.” She eased away enough to meet his gaze. “Do you think he’s okay?”

  He tucked her wet hair behind her ear. “I think he’s in a perfect place.”

  She nodded.

  He took her hand, bringing her knuckles to his lips. “What can I do, Bella? How can I help you?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t know. I don’t think you can.” More tears fell.

  He wiped them away with a gentle slide of his thumb. “It’s hard to do nothing when I know you’re sad.”

  She closed her eyes as she shuddered out a breath and let her forehead rest against his.

  He cupped her cheeks, stroking her soft skin. “Do you want me to take Lucy tonight so you can get some sleep?”

  “No.”

  He pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. “Are you going to be okay?”

  “Yes. Eventually.” She held his gaze and returned his kiss with one of her own.

  He could see the pain and vulnerability in her eyes. The desire. “Bella—”

  She moved in again, capturing his mouth, nipping and nibbling as her fingers slid through his hair.

  He let his eyes flutter closed, helplessly responding, letting his tongue tangle with hers as he pulled her closer and plundered.

  She whimpered as her hands trailed down his biceps and up his forearms.

  He took them both deeper, needing, aching as she moaned. He wanted her. Wanted this, but not when she wasn’t thinking straight. “Bella.” He pulled back. “We can’t do this.”

  Her chest heaved as she stared at him.

  “I’m not going to give you another reason to hate me in the morning.”

  “I don’t hate you.” Her eyes watered as she gripped his wrists. “I don’t hate you, Reed, but I can’t be with you.”

  He clenched his jaw, refusing to accept what she was saying, but for now he was going to have to. “Let’s get you into bed.”

  She untangled herself from his hold and moved to pull back the covers.

  He got to his feet as she settled in. “I’m sorry, Bella.” He crouched down by her side. “About everything.”

  “Why did you have to lie? Why did you have to change everything?”

  “Because your dad and I both thought it was the right thing.”

  She shook her head.

  He jammed his hand through his hair. Now wasn’t the time for this. “Let me know if you need anything.”

  “I won’t.” She swallowed. “I won’t need anything.”

  He got her gist easy enough and had every intention of backing off for now. She needed time and space to grieve. “You know where I am if you change your mind.” He gained his feet and left when all he wanted to do was stay.

  ~~~~

  The endless night ticked slowly into day while Bella rested her head on her arm and stared at Reed’s empty side of the bed. Rain poured outside her windows—the weather a perfect match for her mood. She had no more tears left to shed despite the constant ache in her chest, so the sky cried for her. She blinked her tired eyes and toyed with the edge of Reed’s pillowcase, yearning to go back to Tuesday morning when she woke snuggled and happy in his arms. They’d made crazy, passionate love before they parted ways for the day, Dad had been alive, and she’d been oblivious to the truth hidden behind all of their lies.

  Sighing, she rolled over and faced the wall, wishing desperately that she didn’t miss Reed. There were two huge holes in her heart, but loneliness and heartbreak were no excuse to make bad decisions—like she had hours ago when she kissed Reed and had been ready to take him to bed. It would have been easy to get lost in him—to let pleasure banish the worst of her pain, but it frightened her to know that she’d nearly let herself fall prey to the self-destructive streak that ran so strong in the Colby genes.

  Somewhere along the way, Mom had succumbed to her fair share of hard knocks. She’d been completely shattered after Dad left, and slowly the woman who’d believed that smart, pretty girls could have it all drowned in her own despair.

  Reed’s betrayal had rocked her to her core; her life was certainly falling apart, but she refused to follow Mom’s path. If she chose to, she could take Reed back and pretend that everything between them would be fine. A huge part of her wanted to get out of her bed and
crawl into his, but where would that leave them in the end? Reed said he loved her and she believed him. She had no doubt that the man next door was the love of her life, but she couldn’t be with someone who loved the way he did. She didn’t want to spend the rest of her days second-guessing and putting up walls, waiting for him to disappoint and destroy her again.

  It devastated her to know that she and Reed had no future together. Tonight had been their true end. From this point forward, there was no reason for their paths to cross except in the most casual of ways. She planned to keep her distance and make sure he did the same. If the Caparellis ever discovered her identity, she would honor her promise to Dad and take the help Reed could give, but she couldn’t build a life with him. She needed to take care of herself and heal her heart the way Mom’s never had. Time was the answer—lots of time until she was whole once again. “Everything’s going to be all right,” she mumbled as her eyes drooped closed and she rolled, pulling Reed’s pillow closer, breathing him in as she finally slept.

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  Reed stood beneath his umbrella in the pouring rain, half-listening to the priest welcoming Vincent Pescoe into eternal life. Gray clouds hung low and the wind blew cool, compounding Vinny’s pathetic idea of a funeral. The one-time mobster had arranged his own no-frills service: no music, flowers, or additional friends, just two people standing by his graveside to bid him a final farewell. If Reed had been aware of Vinny's meager plans, he would have stopped off for a couple of bouquets—something pretty Bella would have liked to chase away some of the gloom.

  He stared at her across the simple pine casket, watching the breeze toy with the curls she’d added to her glossy hair. The basic black skirt and white cardigan she’d paired with pumps added a hint of sexy vulnerability to her looks. Even in mourning, Bella was nothing short of spectacular.

  She glanced up, meeting his gaze with devastated eyes, and quickly looked down.

  He fisted his hands, watching as another tear trailed down her cheek. He should have been standing by her side. They should have been coping with the loss of her father together, but they both stood alone because that’s what Bella wanted.

  It had been three days since they sat on her bed—three days since they’d spoken. He’d expected her to take some time to rest and regroup after Vinny’s death, but every morning since her dad’s passing, he’d watched her walk out to her car and head off to yoga while he drank his first cup of coffee. Last night, he’d spotted her coming home well after sunset, holding her beach hat in hand. Bella was moving on with her life without him.

  He blinked, realizing the service was over when Bella walked over to Father Ludwick.

  “Thank you.” She smiled sadly. “This meant so much.”

  Father Ludwick took her hand. “May you find comfort in knowing that your father is at peace in God’s Kingdom.”

  “I do. Thank you again for everything.” She turned and started toward her car, pausing when she and Reed made eye contact again.

  Reed fell into step beside her, breathing in her familiar scent. “Hey.”

  She quickened her pace. “Hi.”

  “How are you holding up?”

  “Fine, thanks.”

  So this was what the cold shoulder from Bella felt like. Over the past week, she’d been angry and hurt, but they’d still had a strong connection. She’d still been willing to let him in. That didn’t appear to be the case today. “I have something for you. From Vinny.”

  She faltered, then kept going. “I can’t do this right now.”

  “Bella.” He reached out, snagging her wrist, torturing himself with the feel of her soft skin.

  Sighing, she stopped.

  He noted she wore the bracelet her dad had given her for her birthday. “It’s something he wanted you to have. He asked me to hold on to it for you. If you want to stop by, I can get it for you, or I can bring it over.”

  She swallowed. “I’ll, um, I’ll stop by. Are you going to work?”

  He shook his head. “Tyson and I switched shifts. I’m covering him tonight.”

  She expelled another long, quiet breath, clearly uncomfortable with the idea.

  “It’ll only take a minute.”

  “All right.”

  “I’ll see you at the house.”

  She nodded and walked to her car.

  He stood where he was, watching her get in, collapse her umbrella, then drive off without bothering to look his way. “Son of a bitch,” he muttered as he scrubbed his hand over his jaw. Bella definitely had her guard up. Clearly she’d meant what she said when she told him she wouldn’t be needing anything from him. Part of him—the part that was terrified he wouldn’t find a way to get her back—wanted to knock at the walls she was building up, but that wasn’t what she needed right now.

  He hurried to his truck and caught up to Bella on Sunset Boulevard, stopping behind her car at a red light. He glanced at the laptop bag on his passenger seat when the burner phone he kept close by started ringing. Reaching inside, he felt around until he made contact with the plastic. “Hello?”

  “I talked to Felipio,” Bruno said right away.

  He narrowed his eyes, hearing the edginess in Bruno’s words as he accelerated with the traffic again. “And?”

  “And he says Dino had a little sit-down with that Hodds guy you were talking about—the Marshal.”

  He tightened his grip on the phone. “Why?”

  “Sounds like Hodds was Nicoli’s handler.”

  Son of a bitch. The mob sure as hell wasn’t supposed to know that. “Do you know where Nicoli is?”

  “No.”

  He slowed for the next light in the busy midmorning traffic. “Do they?”

  “I didn’t get a chance to ask. Matty walked into the bar where we were drinking.”

  He took his hand off the wheel to rub at the tense muscles in his neck before he started moving again. “What about the kid?”

  “Felipio wouldn’t say.”

  “Wouldn’t say or doesn’t know?”

  “I’m assuming doesn’t know.”

  “Fuck, Bruno, what the hell kind of information is this?”

  “Everybody’s watching everybody. I don’t know who I can trust anymore. Even Felipio’s watching his back—hardly drinking anymore.”

  Reed shook his head as he turned into the neighborhood. “Just keep digging. I’ll send some money your way.”

  “I don’t want the money. I want a deal. I want out.”

  “I can’t get you out without something big. I’ve already told you that. You get me something on Matty—get me more information on Hodds and Dino—where the organization thinks Nicoli is. Some sort of official confirmation about the kid, and I’ll talk to my guy on the inside.”

  “There’s gotta be more you can do.”

  He wasn’t doing jack shit until he knew without a doubt that Bella was in the clear. “Get me something better, Bruno. It sounds like your life depends on it. I’ll put your money in the mail.” He hung up and shoved the phone back in the bag as he pulled into his driveway. Four fucking weeks and he still had more questions than answers. He glanced Bella’s way as she got out of her car. The Caparellis and New York were going to have to wait. The next few minutes belonged to the woman next door.

  ~~~~

  Bella drove home listening to the monotonous back-and-forth motion of her windshield wipers as she stopped for another traffic light. She’d been hoping for a better day for Dad—warmth and sunshine. He’d deserved both, but the rain and slight chill in the air had welcomed him to his final resting place. Despite the gloomy morning, it felt good to know he was at peace. She would always miss him and wish they’d had more time, but she found comfort in believing that Mom and Dad were finally together.

  Life was supposed to get back to normal now. She was supposed to grieve and wake every morning knowing that each day was going to be a little easier than the last. She was supposed to make dates with friends, eagerly sign up for
cooking classes, and love her morning yoga the way she had before everything fell apart. And the man following her home wasn’t supposed to own her heart.

  He’d respected her wishes, giving her plenty of space over the last three days. They hadn’t seen each other since the night she kissed him on her bed. Then, an hour ago, she’d spotted him in the cemetery, walking her way through the downpour, dressed in a black suit and tie. She gripped the steering wheel tighter, remembering the way her heart had fluttered a quick beat every time she’d met his bold blue eyes over Dad’s casket.

  She glanced in her rearview mirror, watching Reed talking on the phone. When would she stop aching for him? Why couldn’t she just loathe him for everything he’d done? She focused on the road again and took the turn into their development, then pulled into her driveway, steeling herself for another encounter she wasn’t quite certain she was strong enough to handle.

  Reed pulled into his spot next to his covered bike and got out, getting soaked.

  She grabbed her umbrella and walked over to where he stood under the roof’s overhang, swallowing when she realized his eyelashes were all spiky from the rain. “I can—I’ll just wait here.”

  He shook his head. “Come on in.” He moved to his door and unlocked it.

  “I really don’t mind waiting.”

  “It’s pouring, and I’m not giving you your father’s last gift at the front door.” He walked in, not sticking around to see if she followed.

  Sighing, she abandoned her umbrella by the doorframe and went inside, staring at the furniture in the living room and coffee-hued paint on the walls. The huge comfy couch he’d liked was in place on a white shag rug, and the dark, chunky TV stand held a big-screen. She felt herself frown as she glanced around at the masculine lamps, tables, and leafy plant tucked in the corner. Why did it bother her so much to see his home starting to take shape? She turned away and looked to the ceiling as he walked overhead, then toward the door, more than a little tempted to leave.

  Seconds later his footsteps echoed on the steps as he hurried downstairs, carrying a box and pulling a dry T-shirt down his washboard abs. He’d changed into jeans and looked just as good now as he had minutes ago—maybe better. Her GQ standards were no more. She was a full-fledged fan of T-shirts and blue jeans: Reed McKinley’s style. Or she had been, anyway.