by Tawny Weber
“But he didn’t let up.”
“He quit nagging you when I told him we broke our engagement, didn’t he?” He’d said he had, and her father never lied.
“Right. He quit nagging me.” Giving her a searching look, Aiden grimaced. “As much pressure as he’d put on me, he was putting more on you. Pressure to get you to pressure me, I mean. You broke it off to get him off my back.”
Seeing no point in confirming the obvious, she just shrugged.
“I broke it off because it was over,” she said instead.
“You broke it off to save me from having to choose. To save me from worrying, from stressing over it.” He looked as insulted as if she’d claimed he had a tiny dick. “Because this is you, Sage. It’s what you do. You find an underdog, someone or something that needs you and fix or help them.”
“You’re not a homeless puppy, Aiden.”
“No.” He grimaced, then huffed out a deep breath. “I’m the man you love. The one you’d do anything for, even make yourself miserable instead of putting me through stress.”
“You’re being silly,” Sage denied, scrambling out of the lounge chair and grabbing her cover-up. She was feeling a little too naked for this conversation. “We had an agreement, remember? Now that my dad looks to be out of danger, the agreement isn’t necessary.”
“Okay, yeah. You’re right. That agreement served its purpose.” Aiden clenched his jaw, then gave her a sharp nod. “Which is why I’m here. So we can negotiate a new agreement.”
Sage wet her lips, her stomach jumping in so many directions she wasn’t sure if she was excited, nervous or two breaths away from throwing up.
“I don’t think so,” she said quietly. She stepped around the chaise. The flimsy piece of pool furniture wasn’t any obstacle for Aiden. But maybe it’d keep her from throwing herself into his arms. “I think we’d be better off sticking with my plan.”
He pursed his lips, considering her words. Then he shook his head.
“Nope. I don’t think we would.”
“That’s not fair. We haven’t given my plan any time yet.” She circled her hand in the air. “Let’s give it a year, maybe two. Then if it doesn’t seem to be working, we can talk about a different agreement.”
“Why are you afraid?”
Because she didn’t like being hurt. For the first time in her life, she’d found something she wanted so much that she was afraid to go for it. She’d found bliss with Aiden. She’d found contentment and joy. Then he’d taken it away.
“You don’t even know what I’m going to suggest,” he pointed out when she didn’t say anything. “You’ve never rejected something out of hand before, Sage. You’re all about fairness and balance and giving everything its chance. Remember?”
“It doesn’t matter what the suggestion is,” she told him. Suddenly not caring if she sounded like an idiot or a needy drama queen, she wrapped her hands around the edge of the chaise and leaned forward intently. “I can’t do it, Aiden. I can’t take the chance.”
“Of what? Of us having a fight?” He frowned, his brows furrowed so tight they almost made a single line. “Or is it because I’m in the military? Are you afraid of committing to a SEAL? Is it the danger? Or the time apart?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then what is your justification for walking away from the best thing in your life?”
“Fine.” She threw her hands in the air. “You want to know why? Here it is.”
She stormed around the chair, getting close enough to poke her finger into his chest.
“I can’t go through this kind of thing again. We are wonderful together. We are perfect for each other. We understand each other inside and out. I know your fears, your hopes. I know how to make you smile. You not only understand, but appreciate my quirks, my needs.”
“Right. And that’s all bad because...”
“Because when we’re together, we’re everything I’ve been searching my entire life for,” she yelled. “We’re everything I want to spend the rest of my life nurturing, enjoying, reveling in.”
He gave a slow nod.
“Not to be redundant, but again, why is that bad?”
“Because we can’t have it,” she said quietly. Suddenly, with no warning, her anger drained away, leaving her to blink away tears. “Because as fun as it is, sooner or later, you’ll walk away.”
“I...” His mouth opened and closed a couple of times. He shook his head, then gave her a narrow look. “I’m sorry. You think I’ll be the one who walks away?”
The only way to convince him was to tell him the truth. The whole truth. No matter how much it hurt. Sage swallowed hard, then laying one hand on his wrist, she gazed up at him.
“You’re a flake, Aiden.”
He pressed his lips together, either to keep from laughing or cussing. But he didn’t say a word, just inclined his head for her to continue.
“You don’t make choices. Not long-term ones. You’ve taken enough college courses to get four degrees, but you won’t declare a major. You’re in the service, doing a job you love. But each time you only re-up for the minimum time allowed.” She waved her hand. “You don’t commit, Aiden.”
She waited, sure he’d argue, or worse, laugh. But he just gave her a long look.
“So that’s why you’re afraid of this new agreement between us?” he asked quietly, turning his hand so their fingers entwined. Sage almost melted at the ease of the move, and forced herself to nod.
“Yeah. That’s why. You’re the answer to everything I’ve ever wanted.” She lifted her free hand to stop his response when he opened his mouth. “But I don’t want it temporarily. It’s been hard enough trying to get over you this month. I can’t do it again. And I can’t do it again and again.”
His frown was ferocious. For a second, he looked like he was going to argue. Then he gave a slow nod.
“Okay, that’s fair. If anyone would recognize someone who’s avoiding commitment, it’d be you.”
“Cute,” she muttered, tugging at her hand.
He wouldn’t let go. Instead, he lifted it to his mouth, brushing his lips over her knuckle. This time she did melt. Why did he have to be gorgeous, smart and sweet? Damn him.
“And you’re right. I’d actually come to the same conclusion last week.”
What? Sage frowned, replaying his words.
“You did?”
“Nothing like night maneuvers in the freezing ocean to make a guy think seriously about his life.”
Panic suddenly gripped her, all those melting happy feelings freezing in terror. Please, oh, please, don’t let him be leaving the navy because of her. As much as she wanted to hear his next words, she didn’t want to hear that.
“The day after you visited, I pulled together my credits, declared a major. It’ll only take me a class or two to get my degree.” He paused to brush a kiss over her mouth, which was hanging open in shock. “So I’ve got a couple of choices now. I can teach, like your dad wanted. Or I can stay in the navy, be an officer.”
The panic grew teeth, gnawing and gnashing at her guts. Sage shook her head. It wasn’t fair. She couldn’t do this.
“You’re not asking me to decide which you do, are you?”
“Nope. I already know what you’d say.” He slid his hands over her waist, pulling her stiff body closer as if she wasn’t showing any resistance. “That’s why I’m here. That’s why I want to renegotiate our deal.”
Sage gazed up at him. He was so gorgeous. His hazel eyes shone and his smile was that same sweet curve of his lips that made her heart race. She wanted him so much. Wanted this, a real chance, for them so much.
Maybe he was right. Maybe she was a martyr. Because as wonderful as that would be, she couldn’t do it at the cost of what he was meant to do.
“Aiden—”
“So here’s the deal,” he interrupted, sliding his hands over her butt to cup her cheeks and pull her against the temptation of his growing erection. She�
�d almost agree to anything for one more ride on that hard length. And he was offering her a lifetime ride pass. It was enough to make a strong woman weep. And she was feeling anything but strong.
“I want a long-term agreement. One that’s a lot harder to get out of.”
“Aiden—”
“I want us to get married. No engagement, since we already did that in fake form. Just married. Right away.”
Oh, my.
Sage’s heart did a wild dance, tears filling her eyes. She cupped his face in her hands, giving him a gentle smile. She loved him so much.
“Aiden—”
“You said you loved me. I know you, Sage, you wouldn’t say it if you didn’t mean it and if you meant it, a few weeks wouldn’t change it.” His words shot out like ammo from an automatic weapon. Fast, loud, forceful. “So...you’ll marry me, right?”
“I can’t,” she said, the words almost choking her in unhappiness. “I can’t. If we married, if you left the military and became Professor Masters, eventually you’d be miserable.”
“You think I’d be miserable as a professor?”
She didn’t know why he was looking at her so closely, but she felt like the fate of the world, or the two of their lives, rested on her next words. So she chose them carefully.
“I do love you. I think maybe, on some level, I always have.” The ferocious look faded from his face, leaving smug male satisfaction. “But—”
“You can skip the but,” he interrupted.
“But I can’t do it. I can’t let you give up a career that’s perfect for you to chase a dream that, well, just doesn’t fit.” She winced, her thumbs rubbing over his cheekbones trying to offer comfort. “You’re brilliant, Aiden. But you’d never be happy as a professor.”
His stare was long and intense. Long and intense enough to make her spine start itching. Sage shifted, trying to accept that this was very likely goodbye. At least, for a few years until she’d gotten past this enough to be near him without wanting to strip naked and dance around his body.
“Interesting.”
“Interesting, how?”
“Interesting that you’d say exactly what I knew you would,” he told her with a wicked smile.
“You knew I’d...”
“Sage, I know you inside out. Better than I know myself, really. Out on those maneuvers when I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do, I finally realized the easiest way was to simply ask myself what you’d tell me to do.”
“And you came up with marriage?” she asked, joy and excitement starting to creep in to smother the freak-out.
“Nah. I figured you’d tell me to stay in the military. That it’s where I’m happiest, where I feel like I’m following my bliss. That’s the term you use, right?”
Her heart was dancing so fast it almost beat out of her chest. Laughing, then nodded.
“So, yeah. The part about staying in the military, that I got thinking like you,” he told her. And if the pained expression on his face was anything to go by, that hadn’t been an easy task. “The marriage part, though, that was all me.”
He stepped back, just enough that she missed the warmth of his body. His gaze locked on hers, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a box.
Sage’s heart tumbled somewhere into her tummy, her breath catching while her pulse raced. She folded her hands together to keep from grabbing. Him, or the box, she wasn’t sure which.
He looked so sure, so strong when he smiled and took her hand. His eyes were filled with so much love she almost melted right there and then.
“No games this time,” he said quietly, flicking open the small velvet box with his thumb and holding it up so she could see the ring inside.
Her eyes filled with tears.
“Oh,” she murmured. “It’s so beautiful.”
Twisted bands of gold were encrusted with aquamarines, wrapping around a glittering diamond.
“I had it made for you,” he said, letting go of her hand to take out the ring before putting the box back in his pocket.
He took her again, lifting it to his lips and brushing a soft kiss over her knuckles.
“I love you, Sage. I want us to spend our lives together, to grow old together, to build a family together.” He took a deep breath, nudging the ring against her finger but not sliding it on. “Will you marry me?”
“Yes,” she said softly, her heart in that single word.
He slipped the ring on her finger, barely giving her time to stare at it before his mouth covered hers. Their kiss was gentle, sweet and filled with promise.
Slowly he pulled back and gave her smile.
“This is going to be great,” he said.
Sage wouldn’t have been surprised if a rainbow arched overhead, landing at their feet while doves circled and flowers sang. Happiness, bigger than anything she’d ever felt in her life, wrapped around her as tightly as Aiden’s arms.
“You’re staying in the military?”
“Yep. At least until I retire.”
“And you don’t care what I do for a career?”
“As long as you’re happy.”
“And you’re sure you want to get married?”
“I do.” He grinned. “See, I even have the words right.”
She’d thought she’d found bliss before? Clearly, she’d had no clue just how amazing bliss felt. Sage blinked fast to clear the tears from her eyes. She didn’t want anything in the way of seeing his face right now.
“Well, since you’ve got the right words, I guess I should make sure mine are right, too.” She swallowed, hard, then stepped up on tiptoe to brush her lips over his. “I do, too.”
“Monday.”
“What?”
“I told you, we’ve already done the engagement thing. I want to be married before I go back on duty and I only have a three-day pass.”
Sage burst into delighted laughter.
“I guess I’m not the impulsive one in this relationship any longer,” she realized, loving that.
“Maybe not.” He swept her into his arms, his mouth taking hers in a hot, wild kiss that made her toes curl. When he finally lifted his head, his grin told her that was just the beginning. “But I promise that for the rest of your life, you’ll be the happy one.”
“The rest of my life?” she breathed, filled with joy.
“The rest of our lives,” he promised.
And that, she realized joyfully, was bliss.
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt from A SEAL’s Fantasy by Tawny Weber, available September 2014 from Harlequin Blaze
1
THERE WAS NOTHING like a little bare skin to turn twenty adult men into drooling adolescents. Throw in a long, hard pole and a pair of glittery high heels, and they were a sad bunch of throbbing glands.
“Take it off, baby. Show us what you got.”
As if she’d been waiting for those lovely and enticing instructions, the stripper offered a sharp smile and, quick as a whip, yanked her dress in half and threw it across the room.
Dominic Castillo listened to his brothers and cousins whoop and holler, half of them waving dollar bills as if they were winning lottery tickets and the stripper their prize. Once he’d have been right there with them, front and center. Not that he’d have to call out lame suggestions and wave money to get her attention. Nope, all Dominic needed was his charming smile to beat out all of his relatives for the sexy woman’s attention.
But tonight his dollars were safe in his pocket and here he was, on the quiet side of the bar, sucking down a soda and wondering what the hell had happened to his life.
A year—damn, six months—ago everything had been golden. He’d been a kick-ass SEAL rocking his way up the ranks, carrying out death-defying missions and loving every second of it. Women flocked to him; he had a great family and a brotherhood of SEALs who had his back and kept life fun.
Hell, he used to wake up most mornings expecting to see
a big ole S on his chest.
Used to.
Now?
He carefully shifted his head from one side to the other, glad his brain stayed put.
He’d gone on dozens of missions in his five years as a SEAL. His solid muscles and the scars were a tribute to his dedication to his career. He’d been hurt plenty of times. He’d dodged bullets, pulled shrapnel out of his boot and, on one memorable occasion, plummeted through the sky when the team’s plane took on heavy fire.
Now he was sitting on his butt while his teammates carried out a mission he’d spent the past few months training for. All because of an equipment malfunction while he’d been fast-roping from a helicopter. When the cable snapped, he’d only dropped ten feet, but the impact had left him bruised, aching and sporting a severe concussion.
And feeling like a loser.
He blamed Banks. Lieutenant Phillip Banks, the biggest pain in the ass to ever earn the SEAL trident.
“I didn’t think you were going to be able to make it until the wedding,” Lucas said, watching the show with a bored look.
“Miss my little cousin’s bachelor party? Bite your tongue.” Dominic forced a smile for his big brother’s sake. And, of course, to keep Lucas off his back. If his brother knew he’d been released from a doctor’s supervision less than a dozen hours ago, he’d nag like crazy.
“You mean you didn’t want to miss Lotta Oomph shaking her stuff,” Lucas said, snickering.
“I’ve seen plenty of shaking in my time,” Dominic replied dismissively, even while acknowledging that Lotta had an impressive shake. “Thirty states and eight countries, big brother. Can you top that?”
Lucas considered his beer bottle for a second, then tilted it and his head to one side. “Saw triplets pole dancing with their trained dogs in Reno once.”
“Matching dogs?”
“Right down to their spots.”
Dominic pursed his lips, imagining what that might have looked like, then gave his brother a nod.
