Sunrise on Cedar Key

by Terri DuLong

  “Me too. We ended up going to Frogs for dinner last night so I had a few hours to get to know her. She’s a bit funky, but I like her.”

  “But she’s not coming down to stay till the fall?”

  “Yeah, she has a lease on her place up there, and then she has to arrange to get everything moved down here. She makes her own chocolates, you know.”

  “No, really? I just assumed she ordered them from a distributor.”

  “Nope. She’s a bona fide candymaker. Said her mother and grandmother were too, and that’s how she learned the craft.”

  “Wow. She’s quite an interesting woman. I’m glad she found her way to Cedar Key.”

  Chloe nodded. “Another one who will find our little island to be her retreat. Listen, I’ve got to run,” she said, standing up and ruffling her hand through my hair. “Oh, why are you here? Where’s Suellen and Lucas?”

  I filled her in on Ashley’s accident and explained that Lucas had to go to Brunswick for a few days to tend to bookshop business.

  “Well, it looks like you have everything under control. See you later.”

  Within three hours I would find out that I had nothing under control and my life would be turning upside down.

  I had just finished wiping down the counters and getting ready to close the café and bookshop for the day. My back was turned to the door, and when I heard the chimes I thought perhaps it was Chloe stopping by again.

  And then I heard his voice.

  “Grae?” he said, and my heart fell. Only one person in the entire world had ever called me Grae.

  I turned around slowly to see Beau Hamilton standing inside the coffee café. After ten years—ten years of going out of my way to avoid him, ten years of recriminations, sorrow, guilt, and finally acceptance, he had found me.

  I saw him walk toward the counter as if in a dream. The years had been very kind to him. He was still tall and exceptionally good looking. The only difference I quickly noted was the silver along his temples. Other than that, he looked like that same man who entered my antique shop years before. I gripped the side of the counter, feeling the perspiration dotting my forehead, and remained silent.

  “I saw you through the window,” he said in that same sexy voice that I thought I’d long forgotten. “And I thought it was you. You haven’t changed at all, Grace. Just as beautiful as ever.”

  Oh, but I have, I thought, trying to collect my thoughts.

  I finally found my voice. “Beau,” was all I could manage to say.

  “It’s been a lot of years,” he said.

  “Ten. Ten years since I left Brunswick. What are you doing here? On Cedar Key?” I knew I sounded like Cedar Key was the end of the earth, but I didn’t care. My thoughts were so jumbled I wasn’t able to form a coherent sentence.

  “Just came for a few days. Had read about it in a travel magazine. . . and decided to visit.” He ran a hand through his hair in the way I remembered and caused too many long-buried memories to surface. He then cleared his throat, and from knowing him so well, I knew he was nervous, but I still remained silent.

  “Look, Grace,” he said, leaning across the counter. “Is there any chance we could talk? I mean, since I’m here ... I ... ah ... I’d like it if we could talk about what happened ten years ago when you left.” After a pause, he said, “Please.”

  My stomach was churning. I wasn’t sure if it was from the shock of seeing Beau, especially on my territory, or if he had somehow managed to stir up all of those feelings that I once had for him. At that very moment, I wasn’t sure of anything at all. I blew out a deep breath and realized that perhaps the time had come. The time for me to face my demons once and for all.

  “Okay,” I said, before I even knew what I was saying. “Okay. We’ll talk. But not here. And not at my place... .”

  “Can I take you out for dinner or a drink?” he asked, and I saw the pleading in his eyes.

  I nodded. “Give me ten minutes to close up here. I’ll meet you at the Black Dog, over on Dock Street. If you get there first, grab a table outside on the deck. It’ll be more private to talk.”

  The smile that crossed his face caused me to feel ... what? Guilt for the way I’d left him ten years before.

  “Okay,” I said, before I could change my mind. “I’ll meet you there shortly.”

  Without another word, Beau turned and left.

  It wasn’t until he walked out that I realized I’d dug my nails into the palms of my hands. I walked over to the sink to wash them and saw my hands were shaking. All I could think was, it’s so true what they say about your past. You are never totally rid of it. Not ever.

  I went into the restroom, ran a hand through my curls, applied some lip gloss, and took a deep breath. Well, this is it, girl. Time to face what you never wanted to face. It was then that I thought of Lucas. How ironic that he should be gone when Beau showed up.

  I crossed the bridge over to Dock Street, and by the time I arrived at the Black Dog, I had resumed a semblance of calm.

  I found Beau on the back deck, two glasses of Cabernet on the table.

  “I wasn’t really sure you’d come,” he said, pulling the stool out for me.

  “I wasn’t either,” I told him.

  33

  Sitting down across from Beau, I took a gulp of wine and glanced out to the western sky where the sun was beginning to go down.

  “Can we start at the beginning?” he asked.

  I looked across to the face that I’d once known so well and nodded.

  “What happened? What happened with us, Grace?”

  I let out a deep sigh. “What happened was that we never should have been.”

  “I’m not sure that’s true,” he said, softly. “We fell in love—almost from the moment we met. There’s no way to control something like that.”

  “That’s true. But had I known when we met that you were married, I’m not so sure I would have acted on that love.” Or would I still have allowed myself to get involved?

  “I was wrong.”

  I looked up and saw the expression of regret on his face.

  “I was wrong in many ways. I should have told you right away that I was married and then ... as the years passed, I should have made a decision. To either leave Lila or ...”

  My head shot up. “Or leave me?”

  “I was a coward. I knew I couldn’t leave you. It damn near killed me when you took off. Let’s face it, circumstances were lousy. Lila had a history of depression, and I didn’t want to be responsible for what she might do. And in the end—that’s probably exactly what she did.”

  Was he saying Lila committed suicide? “So the rumors were true?” I asked, and felt my own heart constrict.

  “We’re not sure. The doctor determined it was a heart attack, but she also had an excess amount of narcotics in her. Lila was a very complex person.” He took a sip of wine and began fingering the stem on the glass. “I can understand you wanting to get away from that situation, Grace. I really can. But did you have to take off like that without letting me know where you were going? Without letting me know you were okay?”

  I took a sip of wine while forming thoughts in my head. “I wasn’t okay, Beau. That’s just it. I wasn’t okay at all. And I was still so fragile that I knew if you followed me ... and if you asked ... I probably wasn’t strong enough to resist you. I had to make sure it was a clean break.”

  He nodded, and when he looked up I saw the pain in his eyes. “It was the phone call, wasn’t it? When Lila called you—that’s what put you over the edge.”

  “You knew about that phone call?” I asked in surprise.

  “Not until about a month after you left. Lila had been drinking and was in an especially foul mood. She told me she took pride in the fact that she’d run you out of town. That was why you left? What exactly did she tell you?”

  All the pain of that day come rushing back as moisture filled my eyes. When I remained silent, I felt Beau’s hand come across the table
and grasp mine. I glanced down through my tears at the hand of my former lover—the hand that had brought such pleasure to my body and had taught me how to love.

  “Yes,” I said, and nodded. “That was part of the reason why I left, because of what she told me.” I paused and swiped at my tears. “She told me that I was only one of many. That I wasn’t the first one you’d run around with and probably wouldn’t be the last.”

  “Oh, my God, Grace! And you believed her? Surely you knew how much I loved you. You had to know that I’d never been unfaithful to Lila until I met you. There was never anybody else. Not ever.”

  I looked up through my blurry vision at Beau’s handsome face. “But, see. That’s just it. The other woman—she never knows anything with the utmost certainty. She doesn’t have a right to. So I guess there’re always doubts.” I reached for a tissue in my handbag and dabbed my eyes. “But there was more to it, Beau. The reason I left.” I took a deep breath. “I was pregnant with your child.”

  “What?” Surprise covered his face. “We have a child? You never told me?”

  “No, we do not have a child. I miscarried the day before Lila had called me, and no ... I hadn’t told you at that point, but I had planned to. When I lost the baby—there just seemed no reason for you to know.”

  When I glanced across the table, I saw that it was Beau’s eyes that were now filled with tears.

  “I’m so sorry,” he said, so quietly I barely heard him. “I’m so sorry, Grace. I had no idea.”

  After a few moments, he jumped up, threw some cash on the table, grabbed my hand, and said, “Come on. I need to walk.”

  I walked beside him down Dock Street over to City Park with neither of us saying a word. He chose a bench overlooking the beach, and I sat down next to him, inches separating us. Still neither of us spoke.

  As I sat there waiting for Beau to digest all that I’d told him, I realized that something had shifted deep inside of me. Something I hadn’t even been aware of. A bitterness that I’d managed to push down for so many years resurfaced, and then, like doves being released from a cage, my heart swelled with love and the bitterness was replaced with forgiveness. I had finally forgiven Beau, and in doing so, I had forgiven myself.

  I felt him reach for my hand and allowed him to hold it. It felt good. But not in the same way as when I held Lucas’s hand.

  “We can’t go back, can we, Grace?” he finally said.

  I shook my head. “No. I’m afraid there’s never any going back in life. And that’s probably a good thing, Beau. We were meant to cross each other’s path—we just weren’t meant to spend our entire lives together.” I leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I’m glad you came into my life.”

  “You were everything to me,” he said, squeezing my hand. “You always will be, you know.”

  We both stared out to the ocean and then he said, “I’m afraid I told you a fib, and since we’re finally being so honest, I want you to know.”

  I looked at him, wondering what he meant.

  “I didn’t find out about Cedar Key in a travel magazine,” he said. “Chloe told me where you were last June when I bumped into her.”

  Now it was my turn to be shocked. What the hell was he talking about? Chloe saw Beau last June and never told me?

  “What?” I gasped. “What do you mean? You saw Chloe? Where? What did she say?”

  “I saw her at Publix one afternoon. She told me that she and Parker were separated and getting a divorce. She was really upset and kept apologizing to me. Kept saying, ‘I’m really sorry.’ I didn’t know what she meant at the time, and then she blurted out, ‘She’s in Cedar Key, Florida, you know.’ I knew she meant you—and it’s taken me almost a year to get up the courage to actually come here.”

  I was astounded by this information and my mind was swirling. Why would Chloe be sorry and apologize to Beau? Then it hit me!

  “Oh, my God! It was she. It was she who called Lila that day, wasn’t it? She must have seen us somewhere together. Oh, my God! My own sister betrayed me!”

  Beau stood up and pulled me to my feet. “I wasn’t sure if I should tell you, Grace, but I think you have a right to know, and yes, based on what Lila told me, I’m now positive it was Chloe who made the phone call that day.”

  I felt the tears streaming down my face. Both from hurt and from anger. Beau’s arms went around me, and like so many other times, he held me tight until I regained my equilibrium.

  The entire afternoon and evening was beginning to feel surreal. I moved away from Beau’s embrace, staring out at the water. I felt numb. Why would my sister do such a mean and nasty thing? Why would she intentionally hurt me in that way? Did she really hate me that much?

  “Are you going to be okay?” I heard Beau ask.

  “Yes,” I said, and recalled what Jake Kaplan had said about his daughter. “Oh, yes. I’ll be fine. After all, I’m a survivor.”

  “I’m leaving the island in the morning, Grace. Thank you so much for seeing me. You have a special person in your life, don’t you?”

  I nodded.

  “He’s one hell of a lucky guy. I hope he knows that.”

  I knew that a part of my heart would always love Beau Hamilton and that we had come full circle.

  “Thank you,” I said, as he pulled me into his arms for a final embrace. “I’m glad you finally found me.”

  He kissed my cheek and stepped back. It was in that moment that I saw Lucas standing on the sidewalk, holding Duncan on his leash, staring at me and Beau. He turned quickly and headed up Second Street.

  “So long, Grace,” I heard Beau say as I took off running toward Lucas.

  By the time I caught up with him he was almost to his house.

  “Lucas,” I called. I knew he heard me, but he only walked faster. He had picked Duncan up in his arms to accomplish this.

  Christ almighty, I thought. I had to explain to him about Beau.

  I finally reached him in front of his house. “Lucas,” I said, panting and trying to catch my breath. “Let me explain. Please. That was Beau.”

  “Explain? I believe what I just saw explained everything—the old lover finally found you.” He turned on his heel and began walking toward his front door.

  “No, no,” I said, feeling a sense of fear. “It wasn’t like that at all. You don’t understand.”

  Lucas spun around and I took a step back. I had never seen him so angry.

  “Oh,” he said, his voice quivering. “I understand perfectly well. You have no idea how well I understand. Leave me alone, Grace. Go away.”

  I watched him open the front door and slam it shut as I stood on the sidewalk with tears streaming down my face.

  After a few moments, I began walking home. And for the first time in my life, I knew what it felt like to have my heart broken—and what I thought I’d felt for Beau Hamilton years ago paled by comparison.

  34

  I faked a flu over the weekend and managed to escape the knitting retreat, Aunt Maude, and Chloe. By Monday morning I was still in the same nightgown I’d worn for four days, having never bothered to get dressed. I had been sneaking outside in my bathrobe early mornings and after dark so Annie could do her duty then hunkering back down in my apartment, turning my cell phone to off and my house phone to Do Not Disturb.

  But by Monday morning I knew I couldn’t remain a recluse forever. Aunt Maude was about at her limit with me refusing her entrance. Each time she’d attempted to come to my door, I hollered that I didn’t want her catching what I had and that I was fine. I knew she’d only believe that for so long.

  And when she knocked again around eleven Monday morning, I let her in.

  “Well,” she said, looking around at the disarray in my kitchen. Dirty coffee cups, plates, empty donut boxes, and newspapers littered my counter. “Enough of this, Grace. What exactly is going on?”

  “What do you mean?” I said, and hated the whiny tone in my voice.

  “What I mean is you’re actin
g just like you did when you were thirteen and didn’t make the cheerleading squad. You can’t hole up here forever. So—what’s going on?”

  Where did I begin telling my aunt how my life had so easily fallen apart in a matter of a few hours the previous Thursday?

  I started at the beginning, with Beau walking into the coffee shop, and finished by saying, “So I think we’ve come full circle.”

  Maude nodded. “Yes, it sounds like you have. But I still don’t think that’s why you’ve hidden out all weekend. Where’s Lucas?”

  Just hearing his name caused my heart to flip over. “I don’t know,” I said, and went on to explain what he had witnessed.

  “Oh, I see,” was all she said, which caused my head to snap up.

  “What? Have you seen him?” I asked.

  “No, I haven’t, and I’m a little surprised at his reaction, to be honest. I thought Lucas knew how you felt about him and that you’d made a commitment to each other.”

  “Apparently not,” I said, feeling more miserable than ever. “And that’s not all.” I got up and began pacing the kitchen floor. “Do you know how Beau knew I was here on Cedar Key? Do you know who made that phone call to Lila ten years ago? Do you?” I could feel all of the anger returning.

  After a few moments, she said, “Chloe.”

  I spun around to face her. “What? You knew? You knew it was her and never said anything to me! So you betrayed me too.”

  “I did no such thing, Grace. Shortly after Chloe moved here, she confided in me. I told her right away that I felt the best thing to do was for her to be honest and tell you herself. She didn’t listen. It wasn’t my place to tell you.”

  “Right, and she never did.”

  “It’s pretty obvious why she didn’t, Grace. You and she have become close over these months since she moved here. Chloe told me more than once how happy she was about that. I don’t think she wanted to risk losing what the two of you were building on.”

  “Yeah? Well ... that’s over now! Completely over. I don’t ever want to see her again. What kind of sister would do such a hurtful and mean thing to her own sister? She hasn’t changed at all. She’s a resentful and jealous person, and I don’t want her in my life.”