The Lamp: A Novel by Jim Stovall With Tracy J Trost

by Jim Stovall

  Miss Esther, a group of concerned neighbors, and the truck driver were all gathered around Stanley where he sat on the curb holding Rachel.

  Stanley continued to cry and called plaintively, “I’m so sorry, Eddy. I’m so sorry.”

  Eventually, Miss Esther was able to take Rachel from Stanley and carry her back home.

  Stanley slowly walked back to his own house and was seated on Eddy’s bed holding the lamp when Lisa frantically rushed in, asking, “I got here as fast as I could. Are you OK?”

  Stanley spoke softly. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  Lisa sat next to Stanley on Eddy’s bed.

  She said, “Oh, Stanley. That was so scary.”

  Stanley turned toward Lisa with a distraught expression on his face.

  Lisa asked, “What is it?”

  Pain filled Stanley’s voice as he announced, “I found out Josh is being adopted.”

  Lisa appeared crestfallen.

  Stanley continued. “It feels like we’re losing Eddy all over again, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

  Lisa and Stanley sat silently and held one another. Stanley couldn’t get Josh, Rachel, and the circumstances of the near-tragedy off his mind.

  The next day he felt empty as he was simply going through the motions of his normal routine. He felt like lying down and doing nothing, but he had made the commitment to coach the kids’ team, and today was the big game. The Tigers were playing their archrivals, the Sharks, who were the best team in the league.

  Stanley was loading all of the equipment and the new uniforms into his car. He was looking forward to surprising everybody with the big-league-style new uniforms.

  As he was arranging everything in the trunk, Miss Esther approached from next door.

  Stanley grabbed one of the uniforms from the top box, held it up, and called, “Hey, Esther. Take a look at these.”

  The jersey he was holding up had the number seven on it. It was particularly poignant as that had been Eddy’s number.

  “Those are great.” Miss Esther was subdued as she continued. “Stanley, I wanted to tell you something before you go.”

  Hearing Miss Esther’s tone, Stanley was concerned and asked, “What is it?”

  Miss Esther said, “This will be Josh’s last game.”

  Stanley was shocked and asked, “Why?”

  Miss Esther explained, “I just got a call this morning. The adoption is going through.”

  Stanley was completely deflated by this. He sat on the back bumper of the car and stared up at her.

  Miss Esther continued. “There is one other thing you should know. The adoptive family wanted to come see her last game.”

  Stanley didn’t know what to say and muttered, “Oh, OK.”

  Miss Esther tried to console Stanley, saying, “I’m so sorry, dear.”

  Stanley just stared at Esther without expression. Then he looked down at the jersey he was holding.

  Stanley and Miss Esther couldn’t find anything else to say. It was an awkward, heart-wrenching moment for both of them. Finally, Esther patted Stanley on the shoulder and walked back toward her house.

  With all the good things that had been happening in Stanley’s life, he was committed to not slipping back into his depression. He stared at the jersey with the bright, bold number 7 on it and made up his mind that if this was going to be Josh’s last game, he was going to do everything a coach could do to make it the best game ever.

  CHAPTER 27

  When kids play baseball, there are no small games. To a 10-year-old, every outing is like the Major League All-Star game or the World Series.

  To Josh and her teammates, this game was even bigger than usual. They were playing the Sharks, the best team in the league, and the Tigers had never beaten them.

  There were more parents, grandparents, and friends in the stands than usual owing to the great weather and the competitive matchup.

  Josh was wearing the number seven jersey that was so significant to Stanley. She would be pitching that day, so she was warming up, throwing to Alex.

  Bernice—Josh’s state welfare worker—and the couple who were all set to adopt Josh arrived and took a seat in the stands. Josh noticed them sitting there. Bernice and the couple smiled broadly and waved. Josh feigned a smile and returned a halfhearted wave.

  Stanley watched the exchange between Josh and the adoptive couple. He glanced up in the stands where Lisa was sitting and noticed she had witnessed the same exchange. Stanley and Lisa looked at one another mournfully.

  Miss Esther and her other kids arrived and sat near Bernice and Josh’s prospective new parents. Deb joined Lisa in the stands, and Rachel and Cooper sat beside them.

  The game was exciting and more competitive than the previous games between the two teams, but by the second inning, the visiting Sharks had already taken a 5-to-2 lead over the Tigers.

  Josh was pitching well, and Alex was playing catcher and shouting encouragement to Josh from behind the plate. There was a Sharks’ runner on third base, and the Tigers were trying not to let the lead grow any bigger.

  Josh threw a great pitch, and the batter popped it up into the shallow outfield. The fielder got under it and was a little shaky but made the catch. The runner on third tagged up and raced for home as the outfielder threw the ball to the plate.

  Alex caught it and was prepared to tag the runner out, but he went into a slide and intentionally spiked Alex in the leg. Alex cried out in pain and dropped the ball.

  The umpire yelled, “Safe!”

  Stanley raced toward the field from the bench and yelled to the umpire, “Come on, Blue. What’s that?”

  Josh was livid. She threw down her glove and stomped toward the offending base runner who had injured her best friend, Alex. Stanley saw the pending disaster and raced over to intercept Josh.

  Stanley took her to the side and tried to encourage her. The adoptive couple was standing in the bleachers watching the interaction.

  Stanley calmly spoke to Josh. “Hey, come here. Don’t let this get to you, OK?”

  Josh simply glared at Stanley as if he had done something wrong.

  Stanley asked, “What’s going on?”

  Josh became expressionless and said, “Nothing. I’m fine.”

  Stanley knew something was not right, and he continued to gaze at her.

  Josh repeated, “I’m fine. Let’s just play.”

  Josh grumpily headed back to the mound and picked up her glove.

  Stanley was walking back to the bench when he noticed Josh angrily kicking at the dirt on the mound. Stanley glanced into the bleachers and exchanged a look with the adoptive father. Stanley smiled politely and kept walking.

  Josh began pitching with a renewed ferocity. The game went back and forth until the fourth inning when the Sharks’ player who had spiked Alex came to bat. He and Alex glared at one another as he took his place in the batter’s box.

  Alex crouched behind the plate and pointed to her thigh as a signal to Josh. Josh nodded with a smirk, wound up, and threw her best fastball, striking the batter in the middle of his thigh. He dropped the bat and fell to the ground groaning in pain.

  Josh shrugged and offhandedly said, “Oopsy doodles.”

  Stanley yelled at her from the bench. “Josh!”

  Stanley jumped to his feet and signaled for a time out. He raced out to the mound where Josh had turned her back to him.

  Stanley commanded, “Turn around and look at me.”

  Josh reluctantly turned around.

  Stanley demanded, “Hey, what’s going on?”

  Josh stared at him angrily and spat out, “What do you care?”

  Stanley was taken aback by her response. Josh was staring at the ground. Stanley stooped down so that he would be at her level. Lisa and the adoptive parents looked on from the bleachers.

  Stanley spoke softly. “Hey, look at me.”

  Josh looked up at him.

  Stanley asked, “What’s this all about? You can beat
this team.”

  Josh shrugged dismissively and responded, “None of this matters anyhow. After this game is over, you won’t have to put up with me anymore.”

  Stanley didn’t understand her attitude and tried to reason with her, saying, “Josh, I’m not putting up with you, I…”

  Stanley was interrupted as the umpire approached the mound, calling, “Coach, play ball.”

  Josh turned away from Stanley. He walked back toward the bench and noticed the adoptive couple watching him from the bleachers.

  The game went back and forth through the middle innings, and the Tigers rallied and mounted a comeback. Stanley noticed all of the players cheering wildly on the bench except Josh who sat alone sulking.

  The Tigers tied the game. The scoreboard read 6 to 6 as the game went into the 9th inning.

  Stanley realized that the game and many more important things were coming down to the wire.

  CHAPTER 28

  Stanley stood in front of the Tigers’ bench and surveyed the players on the field. He knew that Josh and her teammates would remember this game for the rest of their lives.

  Stanley recalled several of his own crucial Little League games. There were times he could smell the freshly mown grass and hear the shouts and cheers from the fans and his teammates from decades ago. More than anything else, Stanley remembered the applause and shouts of encouragement from his own mother and father.

  Those images would be with him forever.

  Stanley called to the umpire. “Time out.”

  The umpire nodded and signaled that a time-out had been granted.

  Stanley motioned for the team to gather ’round him.

  He spoke to them intensely. “OK, team. This is it. We’ve got two outs, and we only need one run to win.”

  Stanley paused to make eye contact with each player. He continued. “You have all played a beautiful game against the best team in the league, and they are not going to just hand this to us.”

  Stanley’s gaze settled on Josh as he continued speaking to the team and, especially, to her. “You know, there are things that happen in life that are out of our control. That is just the way life is. We may not be able to control what is going on around us, but we can control ourselves. We get to choose how we respond to what life throws at us. We get to choose to believe that anything is possible—even if it looks like things aren’t going to happen the way we hoped they would. The question is, are you willing to believe?”

  Stanley was proud of the kids.

  He spoke to them each in turn. “Alex, do you believe?”

  Alex spoke with conviction. “Yes.”

  Stanley asked, “What about you, Chris?”

  Chris called loudly, “Yes.”

  Stanley looked at another player and questioned, “Jason?”

  He answered, “Yes.”

  Stanley stepped back and addressed the entire team. “Tigers, do you believe?”

  Every member of the team except Josh yelled in unison. “Yes!”

  Stanley echoed their enthusiasm and cried, “One more time.”

  The team yelled at the top of their lungs, “YES!”

  The Tigers jumped, clapped, yelled, and slapped one another on the back. When they finally settled, Stanley intently looked over the players. He and Josh made direct eye contact.

  She asked, “Do you believe?”

  Stanley answered without hesitation. “Yes, Josh. I believe in you. I will always believe in you.”

  Josh smiled at Stanley.

  Stanley encouraged the team. “Now let’s hear that Tiger roar, and go out there and win!”

  The entire team, including Josh, put their hands out like claws and roared in true Tiger fashion.

  Stanley announced, “Josh, you’re up.”

  He took her aside and instructed, “Watch the inside pitch. Step back from the plate a little.”

  Josh nodded in understanding and said, “OK.”

  Stanley’s gaze bore into Josh’s eyes, and he reaffirmed, “I believe in you.”

  Josh smiled confidently, put her bat over on her shoulder, and headed for the plate.

  Stanley could hear Lisa and Deb cheering enthusiastically.

  Lisa called, “Come on, Josh. Knock it outta here.”

  Deb joined in. “Let’s go, Josh. You can do it!”

  Josh glanced toward Lisa and Deb and smiled. The adoptive couple looked on silently with anticipation.

  As Josh stepped into the batter’s box, the Sharks’ catcher—Ronny Martin—said ominously, “Watch yourself, Joshy. You might get hurt.”

  He smacked his catcher’s mitt to emphasize the point.

  The pitcher wound up and threw the ball directly toward Josh. She jumped back out of the way and let the ball narrowly pass by her.

  The umpire called, “Ball.” Then he looked directly toward the pitcher and said sternly, “Let’s keep this a friendly game.”

  Josh stepped back into the batter’s box and up to the plate. Then she remembered Stanley’s coaching and took a half step back away from the plate.

  Stanley looked on from the bench and nodded in satisfaction as he said to himself, There you go, kid.

  The pitcher wound up and threw the ball inside, but Josh was ready for it. She smacked it just over the shortstop’s head, and she raced toward first base. The Sharks’ outfielder made a good play, but Josh was safe on first base.

  Jeff was the next Tiger batter to approach the plate. As Josh looked on from first, Jeff stroked the ball hard, and it flew into the outfield. Josh took off like a rabbit, rounded second, and headed for third. The outfielder made a throw to third base, but Josh was safe.

  As Alex strode to the plate, Jeff was taking a lead off of first base, and Josh was moving a couple of steps off of third.

  Alex gripped the bat and looked over to Stanley for a sign. As Stanley signaled to Alex, both Alex and Josh nodded in understanding.

  The first pitch was headed for the outside edge of the plate. Alex began to swing but stopped before the ball arrived as she thought it was too far outside.

  The ball smacked into the catcher’s mitt, and the umpire called, “Strike.”

  Deb called from the bleachers. “Come on, Alex, honey.”

  Stanley clapped and yelled, “OK, Alex. Show ’em what you’re made of.”

  Alex stepped back into the batter’s box. As the pitch approached, she moved her bat over the plate and bunted the ball.

  As Alex ran for first, the baseball dribbled out between the pitcher and catcher. They both raced for it.

  From third base, Josh could see a slight opening. There were already two outs, but the Tigers needed Josh to score to win the game.

  She made up her mind.

  CHAPTER 29

  Stanley looked on from the bench and held his breath. His team desperately needed Josh to score in order to win the game, but there were already two outs, and the Sharks’ pitcher deftly scooped up the ball.

  Stanley didn’t know what he would have done in Josh’s place, and he wasn’t sure she could make it to home plate, but his heart swelled with pride as she began to run.

  The catcher raced back to home plate, and the pitcher skillfully tossed him the ball. As the catcher secured the baseball and moved to block the plate, Josh slid.

  Time stood still, and everyone fell silent until the dust settled, and they heard the umpire yell, “Safe!”

  The Tigers’ side of the bleachers erupted with cheering.

  The umpire announced officially, “That’s the ballgame, ladies and gentlemen.”

  The park echoed with cheers, and the bleachers emptied as everyone rushed onto the field.

  Stanley scooped up Josh, and they held one another in a tight embrace.

  Bernice and the adoptive couple approached Stanley and Josh. Stanley noticed them approaching and set Josh down.

  Bernice motioned and called to Josh. “Come on, Josh. We need to be going.”

  Josh reluctantly complied and began to walk
away. She looked back toward Stanley, then stepped alongside the adoptive couple.

  Lisa rushed over and intercepted them, giving Josh a big hug. Then Lisa walked over to Stanley and held his hand.

  Neither Stanley nor Lisa could speak as they watched Josh leave with Bernice and the adoptive couple.

  Stanley squeezed Lisa’s hand, trying to encourage her. Then he moved away to congratulate each member of his team and greet all of the parents.

  The Tigers and their families, friends, and fans had a great celebration. Stanley and Lisa made a show of joining in, but they both felt empty inside.

  That night in the Walters’ home, Stanley and Lisa ate dinner silently in the kitchen. As Lisa got up to clear away the dishes, Stanley picked up the lamp and sat gazing at it.

  Lisa reached to put away another dish and noticed Stanley.

  She asked, “What are you thinking about, Stan?”

  She walked over to the table and sat beside him. Stanley looked at Lisa and said solemnly, “I can’t believe she will be gone tomorrow.”

  Lisa tried to encourage him, saying, “There is nothing you could have done.”

  Stanley shook his head and admitted, “I could have at least tried, but I was afraid.”

  Lisa asked, “Of what?”

  Stanley sighed deeply and answered. “That in some way, if I were to love another child, I would be cheating on Eddy.”

  Stanley wanted to say more but couldn’t put all of his feelings into words.

  Lisa spoke encouragingly. “Stanley, honey. I believe you have enough love in your heart to keep what you have for Eddy and to love another child, too.”

  “But,” Stanley argued, “I don’t want to love another child. I want to love Josh, and now it’s too late.”

  Lisa and Stanley had a restless night. Stanley got up early and headed for the garage to finish his cleanup project. Lisa and Cooper joined him, and as Stanley was sweeping the floor, Lisa organized the last few boxes and made sure everything was in its place.

  As Stanley and Lisa looked at the garage that had been transformed from a mess to an organized space, they were startled to hear a knock at the edge of the garage door.