Sugar Walls

by Brittani Williams

  “Good evening, ladies,” I said as I opened the refrigerator and removed a spring water.

  “What the hell are you so happy about?” Dyna asked.

  “I’m alive, that’s all! Good-night,” I said as I left the kitchen and headed upstairs to bed.

  I fell asleep shortly after I showered and when I woke up the next morning my itinerary was basically the same as the day before and it would remain that way for the next three weeks. I still hadn’t found out from Mya what happened with Marlo, and I had been just as unsuccessful finding out from him. She continued to tell me lies about her relationship, and I continued to leave out the fact that I had been spending time with him every night for over three weeks.

  Though it began innocent, I was beginning to have feelings for him that I knew were wrong. We would lie next to each other in bed every night and I would fall asleep smelling his Issey Miyake cologne. I would lay my head on his muscular chest and dream of a better life. I dreamed of him making love to me and telling me that I belonged to him. Each day I went there with a smile—even with the unsettling thought of betraying Mya in mind. We hadn’t had sex, and we hadn’t even kissed, but I dreamed about it. I knew if Mya found out she would be just as upset about the thought as with the action. Again, I was yearning for attention, and in the past that was definitely something that got me in trouble. I didn’t know how long I could control myself around him, so I knew sooner or later I would have to find another way to get paid. That way I could pay him back and quit working at Dyna’s.

  I went to the hotel room that we always stayed in and he was there waiting for me with dinner on the table. I smiled when I noticed the candlelight and champagne.

  “What’s all of this for? Are we celebrating something?” I asked.

  “As a matter of fact, we are,” he said, helping me remove my coat.

  “So what’s going on?” I asked as he guided me to the table.

  “Look, we’ve been coming here for three weeks now, and I know how much you want to leave your job and get your own spot. I just bought a duplex out in Yeadon, and I’m going to let you stay in one of the apartments for free until you get on your feet.”

  “Wow, are you serious?” I hugged him.

  “Very serious,” he said, looking into my eyes with his arms still wrapped around the small of my back. “You know the day that I met Mya at that bus stop?”

  “Yeah, I remember.”

  “When I called out, I was actually calling for you. I noticed your innocence and your natural beauty. That was something that I’d never had in my life. I only talked to Mya because she came over to the car first, and once I saw the look on your face I knew that I would probably never get the chance to get with you after that. When I found out that you were her sister I was glad because I knew that we could be cool one day. I need special people like you in my life.”

  “Are you serious, Marlo? You really wanted me?” I asked, stunned.

  “Yeah, I am. I was feeling you since day one.”

  At that moment I couldn’t resist the temptation any more. I had always been attracted to Marlo, and now to hear that he felt the same, there was no way I could continue just being his friend. I moved closer to him. As our lips touched, we both stared, contemplating the next move. I stuck my tongue out just enough to taste his lips. He tightened his grip around my waist so I could feel his hardness through his jeans. I moaned as he began to massage my tongue with his. I could feel my panties getting wet as I unhooked his belt and unzipped his pants to free his manhood. I pulled his swollen member through his boxers and stroked it with my hand. He pulled my shirt up over my breasts and sucked on my protruding nipples. I moved down on my knees and licked his length before taking him into my mouth. I became more excited as his moans of delight became louder. I worked my hands and mouth so good he pulled away.

  “Damn, you’re trying to make me cum early, huh?”

  I smiled.

  He guided me to the bed, where he didn’t waste any time feasting on my already wet fruit. I had screams of joy as I had two consecutive orgasms. Marlo was working wonders with his tongue, and my body was yearning for him to dive deep inside of me.

  “You like that shit?” he asked as his fingers were moving around inside of me, touching my G-spot.

  “Yes,” I moaned before biting my bottom lip. “I need to feel you inside of me!”

  He continued to lick my pearl. “You need me, baby?”

  “Yes, I need you.”

  Marlo soon rose up and began to rub my clit with the head of his pole. I wanted to feel his length, and I moved my hips to make way for his entry. I was excited as he gently plunged deep inside of me, instantly causing another orgasm. His movements were hitting all of the right places and I was definitely going to need more of him.

  “That’s my spot right there,” I said as he sucked on my neck, causing me to exude more lubrication. He continued moving in and out of me as I used my nails to dig into his back. As his speed increased, I knew he was about to explode soon. I held on to him tightly as he released every drop. We were both exhausted and unsure of what to say next. As he lay beside me, I stared at the ceiling and wondered how this would change my future. I wasn’t sure what to expect because I wasn’t sure what he was thinking. I knew that what we did was wrong but it felt so good. It felt like things were supposed to happen this way. Then I thought about Mya and her baby.

  Damn, I let my temptation take over. I betrayed my sister in the worst way.

  “Are you OK?” he asked, sitting up on the edge of the bed.

  “Yeah, I’m good. How about you?”

  “I’m cool.”

  “So where do we go from here?”

  “Wherever you want. I’m down for whatever,” he said, smiling.

  “I have strong feelings for you, Marlo, but I don’t want to be selfish and ruin your life.”

  “How could you possibly ruin my life?”

  “You and Mya, I don’t want to step on her toes, and now that we’ve gotten sort of close again, I know that this would ruin everything.”

  “Well it’s up to you. I told you that me and her are through. I’m not really concerned about her finding out, but if you are, I understand. I’m happy about what just happened. I mean, that shit was great, but I don’t want to be pushy. I want you to want me before things go any further.”

  “I do want you, Marlo. I’m just afraid of getting hurt.”

  Placing his hand on top of mine and glancing into my eyes, he said, “I would never hurt you. I wish I could have caught you a long time ago—before anyone got a chance to hurt you, and then you wouldn’t have a reason to be afraid. I want to love you. I have never been as happy as I’ve been just being around you the last few weeks. I know you’re honest, and I know your love would be sincere. I’m trying to experience all of that.”

  “You know I’ve been through a lot, Marlo. Growing up was rough, and life after that hasn’t been much of a party.”

  “Well, let me ask you something, and if you don’t want to answer me, I truly understand.”

  “OK, what is it?”

  “I know that you were abused by your mom growing up, but what about your dad? Did he ever do anything to hurt you?”

  “No, the only thing that he did to hurt me was to ignore my mother’s actions. I hate that he didn’t step in and protect me.”

  “So, do you think that has anything to do with the way you look at relationships?”

  “No, I’ve forgiven my dad because I know he was never in his right mind either. Both of them were on drugs heavy. I know that had he been clean from drugs he would have stepped in.”

  “Well, it takes a strong person to forgive things like that, because I know if those things would have happened to me, I probably wouldn’t be able to forgive my parents. I’m just glad you haven’t let that affect the way you view men or relationships in general.”

  “No, I haven’t let any of that affect the way that I view anything, and not just
relationships.”

  “So, what do you want to do? Because if you really want to be with me, you can leave that Dyna bitch alone and I will make sure that you’re OK money-wise, I promise you that. You don’t even have to get any of your shit from her house. I’ll buy you all new shit.”

  “I do want to be with you, I really do. Do you really think that things can work with us?”

  “I know they’ll work. Anything I put my mind to always works,” he said, moving close to me and gently kissing me on my forehead.

  My body was yearning for more, and I slowly began to massage his hardened pole. It wasn’t long before he was deep inside of me and we were wrapped around each other. That night I slept with a sense of peace. I knew that when I woke up a new life would begin. I had never expected to end up with Marlo, and though I was happy about it, I had to figure out how I could hide it from Mya. I knew I couldn’t hide our relationship forever, but I had to make sure that when she did find out, it wouldn’t blow up in my face. I was excited about calling Dyna and letting her know that I would no longer be her employee. I could have the weight of Dyna’s control lifted off of my shoulder. After leaving my mom, I never thought anyone would be able to control me the way she had. I let Dyna in and she took advantage of my weaknesses. I could now move on and hopefully never have to see her again.

  After leaving the hotel, I decided to drive to Dyna’s office. I decided that a face-to-face meeting would be much more effective than a phone conversation. I was smiling from ear to ear as I made my way through the store and up the stairs that led to the office. I wasn’t really nervous, but I had butterflies in my stomach. I knocked on the door before going in, and once I opened the door and noticed Dyna’s surprised expression, it was much easier to relay the information. I walked over to one of the chairs directly in front of her desk.

  “So what brings you here?” she asked as she continued to type up itineraries for the day.

  “I’m here to let you know that I will no longer be working for you.”

  “What?” She now turned her attention to me. “What the fuck do you mean you won’t be working for me anymore?”

  “It’s just like that; I’m not going to degrade myself anymore. I’m done!” I said as I stood up from the chair.

  Shaking her head in disbelief, Dyna stood up from her chair and pointed her fingers in my direction. “I made you. You owe me! If I never picked your broke ass up, you wouldn’t have shit right now. I don’t know how you think you are going to survive. Did Marlo promise you the world? Don’t forget, that’s your sister’s man!”

  “This has nothing to do with Marlo, and the way you tried to degrade me even more by setting me up on a date with him only made me stronger.”

  “Whatever, Sugar. You’ll need me, and don’t even think about coming to get your things from my house now, because they won’t be there!” she said before sitting down in her chair and frowning. “I should have listened to Meeka from day one when she told me not to trust you. I should have known that you would betray me.”

  “Dyna I didn’t betray you. You changed, and so did I. I’m moving on now, and that’s what’s best for me.”

  “You don’t know what’s best for you. You’ve been fucking your sister’s man for weeks, and you think that’s the way to a new life. Give me a break,” she said flagging her hand at me. “If you know what is best for you, you will have your ass at work tonight!”

  “I’ve already told you that I quit. I was trying to end this on a nice note, but I see you are only going to make things difficult. And just to let you know, I don’t need anything from your house. I’ll be fine,” I said, making my way to the door. “And another thing, he’s not her man. He’s mine!”

  I walked out the door and closed the chapter of my life that had caused me so much pain. I could hear her throwing things at the door as I walked down the steps.

  I was done with Dyna, and to prove that to her, I didn’t even take the car that she had bought me. I left it parked in front of her store for her to see when she walked out of the building. I called Marlo as I walked to the nearest bus stop to head to Jenna’s apartment to hang out until Marlo could show me the new apartment.

  “Hey Sugar, what’s up?” he said, as he answered the phone.

  “Nothing much, I’m on my way to the bus stop to go home.”

  “Bus stop? Where is your car?” he asked.

  “I left it at Dyna’s store. I had to let her know that I didn’t need her anymore.”

  “You shouldn’t have done that,” he said, in a low tone.

  “Why not? We are going to be together right?” I asked, with concern.

  “About that. I really like you a lot, Sugar, but I’m just not sure how things could work.”

  “What are you talking about? Just last night you said that you wanted to be with me, what happened?” I said, as a tear fell from my eye.

  “Sugar, I’m sorry. I have to go handle some business right now, but I’ll call you later so we can finish talking.”

  “Don’t even bother, Marlo. You’re just like everyone else!” I said before hanging up.

  I felt like the biggest fool in the world. I had believed in Marlo, and just that quick he disappointed me. I wasn’t sure what to do next since I had walked out on the only employment I had. When I made it to Jenna’s apartment I was depressed, and it showed. I was upset that I had again made a decision that could make my future a little harder to get through. I had been hurt once again, and I needed to really think about my next step. My new intentions were to better myself without the help of anyone else. I needed to take care of me for once!

  Chapter 8

  One More Chance

  For the next couple of weeks I went out job hunting almost every day. I mostly went to the malls because my only job experience before Dyna’s was in retail. I didn’t think it would be hard to find another job. Since I had gotten used to making thousands of dollars each week, I couldn’t find a job that suited my interest. I had a little money saved, but I didn’t want to touch it because I was still going to go to college once I got things in order. I was slowly moving on, and I felt freedom for the first time in my life. Jenna continued to work at Dymes while I continued to struggle with finding a job that I enjoyed. Jenna was nice enough to let me stay with her until I was able to get on my feet. After hitting all of the malls, I would go home and search the newspaper classifieds. It was becoming such a routine that it seemed like a job to find a job. I hadn’t talked to Mya much since she gave birth to a baby boy a week earlier. I went to see her at the hospital and was turned off seeing Marlo by her side like they were one big, happy family. I could tell that it made him just as uncomfortable as it made me. Mya had called me while I was out at the mall to let me know of the new arrival.

  “Hello,” I said as I headed out of the Old Navy store.

  “Hey, sis. Just called to tell you that you have a new nephew!”

  “Really? Congratulations! I’m out at the mall now, but I will stop by when I’m done here. What hospital are you in?”

  “University of Penn,” she replied.

  “OK, I’ll see you soon.”

  After I hung up with her I stopped by the Hallmark store to pick her up a little gift. Then I caught the bus down to the hospital. I entered the room with a teddy bear and flowers, and as soon as Marlo and I made eye contact, we quickly looked away from each other.

  “Hey, big sis. I’m glad you could come.”

  “You know I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” I said, hugging her.

  “I’m going to go out to the car and let y’all talk, baby. I’ll be back in a few,” Marlo said before kissing her and walking out of the room.

  I cringed at the sight of him kissing her. “So, how was the delivery?”

  “Crazy! Not as bad as before, but it was still rough.”

  “I can’t believe my little sister has another baby.”

  “Yeah, me either, but you have to go by the nursery and see hi
m.”

  “I will now, because I have some running around to do. I just wanted to stop by and show my face.”

  “Well, thanks for coming. Call me tomorrow, OK?”

  “I will,” I said, hugging her once more.

  I waved good-bye as I left the room. On my way to the bus stop I noticed Marlo standing on the corner smoking a cigarette. As I walked up, he tried to act as if he didn’t see me coming.

  “Playing father of the year now, I see.”

  “I guess so,” he said, avoiding eye contact.

  “Why can’t you look at me, Marlo?”

  “Who said I couldn’t look at you?”

  “I’m not going to stalk you or anything, OK? Yes, I’m upset about what happened with us, but I don’t hate you. I wanted to say congratulations.”

  “Well, thanks.”

  “I’ll be seeing you around,” I said, walking away to catch the bus.

  I put on that act to show him that he didn’t break me. I was hurting inside, though, because I fell for the game that he played. I cried that night because I felt that he had lied to me about his relationship with Mya. Hugging, laughing, and smiling didn’t appear to be a broken relationship, and it made me sick to my stomach. I decided to steer clear of them to spare myself a little heartache.

  I decided to visit Bloomingdale’s since I really enjoyed working there before I met Dyna. I went back and talked to my former manager and she quickly offered me my job back. I was excited about the job, and this boosted my morale, since I had been down for so long. I went to work on my first day, which was a Monday. The day started off slow but got busy after lunch. I was setting up a new display in women’s shoes when I heard a familiar voice call my name.

  “So you really came back?” Marlo asked with a smile.

  “Well, I didn’t really have much of a choice, did I! And how did you know I was here?” I asked with sarcasm, continuing to work on my Kenneth Cole display.

  “Mya told me. I miss you, Sugar,” he said in that sexy tone that made me weak at the knees.

  “Really? I find that hard to believe. I also find it hard to believe that you even had time to miss me since you’ve been playing family man.”