The Queen and The Viper

by Adam C Mitchell

  Malone grinned maliciously “I’m only a dumb private dick, Pelham; I work for this lovely lawyer. Christie and Harmsworth, came to see her. Because, guess what! She’s their attorney too, not just the lawyer who pulls my ass out of the fire from time to time. So that being the case they didn’t tell me a damn thing.”

  The inspectors eyes retreated deeper into his sockets. “I’ll make you talk!” he growled. Peggy shook her hand. “I don’t think you will!” she challenged him back, with a glare. “if you know anything about that little thing called, The Law. You know that an attorney cannot be forced in anyway to testify to any conversation. You crooked bent, sleaze merchant!”

  Pelham sniffed; it was the nearest he ever came to laughter.

  “You make a fine pair – a shyster mouthpiece in a pencil skirt, and a crooked double-crossing gum-shoe in a cheap suit. That’s like a weasel bedding a rat!”

  Jack just smiled thinly “You’re a regular professor of Zoology aren’t you, Pelham. But then that’s natural for a two-bit snake. Now about this writ?”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Inspector Pelham turned slowly and walked over to the dingy rooms small window. Where he stood straddle legged, hands behind him, staring into the empty lamp lit street below. Five or six minutes later the forced silence Pelham and subconsciously imposed in the small room ended. When he swung around and shook the crumpled writ at Mr and Mrs Malone.

  “You win this round,” he almost hissed through hard clenched teeth “I’m not ready to play my winning hand yet. This is far from over, and has angles up the kazoo. Plus if I resisted the writ, I’d have to go to court and show my evidential wares right now. So No, when I’m ready the boy’s will book you onto Liberties Number One Taxi Service, and bring you in for another little chat. In the meantime Jack, neither you or your darling wife, best not leave town. You can beat it now. Goodbye Jack.”

  Peggy sniffed disdainfully offering from out of a clutch bag a packet of Lucky Strikes, her man’s favourite cigarette brand at the moment. Popping one out with a light to her husband. Jack Malone came slowly to his aching feet. Paused, then took the nicotine based relief from his wife. Then with a cynical grin for the parade of Pelham’s gorilla who’d followed them out, turned and limped out of the interrogation room. Jack and Peggy tramped down the dingy stairs in silence. At the front door of the precinct station, she gave her man's arm a squeeze.

  “Drive, darling...” Jack did his best to smile, but it didn’t work he was just to exhausted “you drive, Peg. I want to think,” he said as they crossed the side walk. Jack ever the gent opening the drivers side door of his wife’s open top coupé, for her to get in. Peggy slid under the wheel as Jack lolled beside her, his head nestling between her golden curls and shoulder. As his wife tooled the small but mighty car into the early morning traffic, she laughed.

  “I’ll bet you’re thinking about what a dynamite wife you have!” she said playfully trying to cheer him up, even if it was only a little. “I don’t know what you’d do, if I didn’t pull you firm, yet totally cute ass out of the fire all the time, hey big boy.”

  Jack grinned, “It would be mighty dull no doubt there Peg. You pull my ass out the fire so well, despite the fact darling dearest, it was you that dropped me into this hornets nest, remember that. We could of just said no, and got back to a good old fashion spooning.”

  “What you getting at Jack?—,”

  Jack tried a smoke ring—and failed “sweetie” he asked “Do you still look good in black, but maybe just minus the mask.”

  “Hideous these day, why?”

  “Then you better watch your step, unless you want to be wearing a widows frock.” A tinge of terror crept into Peggy Malone’s voice.

  “What do you mean, Jack!”

  “I mean something’s up, I feel it.” he told her dryly “why do you suppose Pelham turned me lose?”

  Jack shrugged “Pelham tried to kill me, he wants me—well dead. Perhaps it’s just his personal bug up his backside, or maybe it’s something else.”

  “Jack, you think he knows your crystal clear on the bank robbery——.” he sighed heavily “I’m not sure. Did you hear from our two favourite people Christie and Harmsworth?”

  “Actually Joe Christie called; he left a number where we could reach him, in an emergency. I think this may qualify don’t you honey?” She fished a slip of torn paper out of her clutch bag and handed it to him.

  “When was that?”

  “Just before I pulled your cute tush, out the jaws of that rat?”

  Jack eyed the slip of paper, brooding over it. Part of him wanted to punch Christie out and haul him in, but Jack didn’t think Pelham would care. No he wanted to pin it all on Jack, no mater the crime, be it robbery or murder. So instead of turning Christie unto his own personal punchbag, flipped his still burning Lucky Strike into the street.

  “By the way my darling wife” he grinned “how’d you and those great gams know I was in the hot house?”

  “Somebody phoned actually. No name, but told me you were in a jam and need an attorney—but really you needed a nurse not me. The voice was odd, couldn’t get a read on it.” A heavy dose of anxiety crept into the former caped crime fighter. “you didn’t tell me, why Pelham let you walk, Jack?” The battered private eye, pushed himself erect in his seat.

  “No clue yet, except his poker hand must be damn good, and have a good reason not to call the game. But Peg I know him, yes you were a badge. But Pelham was a blight on Homicide long before we met. Trust me when I saw he’s more crooked than you know, he makes a wry cunning fox look like a moron in comparison!”

  He reached up with an aching hand, wincing in pain slightly as he adjusted the open tops rear view mirror. So he could see behind him, and save his aching neck any more pain.

  “Darling, you know I love you right. I know all to well you want to get me home so you can get your hands on me and play naughty nurse, or whatever and I like the sound of that trust me there. But could you do me a small favour. Could you please slow down.” he asked slowly, the thoughts of his wife’s hands on him, bringing him to more than just a smile.

  “Why——?” Peggy asked startled “I always drive——,”

  “Yes I know fast is the only speed you know beautiful, but your making it terribly hard, near impossible even for those muscle bound brainless gorillas of Pelham’s to stay on our six. Be a doll and go easy on the cavemen.”

  She whistled softly “you mean we caught a tail, how fun not had one of those in a while. Want me to lose them?”

  “Uh-huh. I know a better way. We need to catch a beat here, get a head of this. Plus I don’t think you want to take these lost little puppies home, they may pee on the rug. No, I got a plan of sorts, quick hit this next left, drive down Remington Street. I know a nice quiet family hotel down that end. You know the one, remember sweetie; I took you there for a couple of days right after I got you that nice mink coat.” Peggy Malone shot her husband a malicious look.

  “You never bought me a mink coat!”

  Jack smirked “My apologies milady, wrong woman.” he said with a quick gulp realising the hole he’d just dug for himself. Jack was about to say something else but a quick clip around his sore head stopped him uttering another word.

  Peggy Malone brought her car to a stop before the small hotel, that was sandwiched between to rather pricey looking apartment buildings. Where the apartment blocks were clean crisp perfection, this small hotel was like a faded beauty spot. Still pricey but now its old age lack lustre. It was then Peg saw an acne ridden, bell-hop of maybe sixteen run across the side walk and without asking opened the drivers side door, where Peggy offered a hand and was helped out.

  Jack handed him a solid twenty, triple the juvie’s usual tip; “put this bus in a safe place will ya’ kid, we don’t need it till maybe morning. I need some sleep, and as I know this join isn’t really big on the whole mini-bar area, go over to Joe’s on the corner and get me a night cap, scotch no
thing else then bring it up will ya’ ” Jack handed the teenager another ten note for the scotch, then he and Peggy crossed over the side walk to the hotels once chromed revolving door, Jack glancing over his shoulder as the tail of gorilla’s drifted slowly past.

  “I don’t get you Jackie-boy, how can you even think of sleep. It would have been just a tad fun to play with” said his wife, with a playful yet sad tone.

  “darling, I’ve never not wanted to sleep for years now, its almost well you know—” Peggy paused “like the old days” she said with a hint of her former ego poking through. Jack just chuckled “thought you’d say that, sweet” he whispered pinching her bum playfully as they approached the check in desk.

  After exchanging the usual greetings with the clerk, Jack picked up a faux gold pen chained to a hotel plague and wrote Mr and Mrs Jack Malone, in bold letters across an entire page of the hotel registry book. Just in case anyone was looking for them. “right, now my friend,” he told the clerk “we require a room with a somewhat southern exposure. I am very superstitious and very particular about my rooms, and I promise if you can help me then well your tip will reflect it.” The clerk was a blue collar, and obviosly not from this part of the city, no more the docklands. A regular Joe with a proverbial broomstick lodged up his backside, or at least Jack thought so. Little people who get a little power and let it go to there head really annoyed the private eye. The man in front of him being a prime example of a man in need of a punch to the jaw.

  Picking up a keyring, he signalled an equally broomstick gifted assistant to take his place, then circled the reception counter. “Mr Malone, the only room we have to suit sir, is unfortunately facing an alley at the rear of the hotel.” he said doubtfully. “I’ll be glad to show you what we have.” he led the married couple to the elevator. As the lift started to rise, “take us to 16, boy” the way the clerk said it made Jack hackles rise, yes he was a Negro but still nobody deserved to be treated like a piece of dirt. This wasn’t Louisiana 1806 this was Liberty City 1930, the world had matured so why hadn’t this jerk clerk. Around the seventh floor Jack quickly interrupted the operator, who took his hand of the elevator lever, “that’s too high- I’m sorry I should have said. My darling wife is pregnant and has a weak heart; she needs something nearer the ground floor, don’t you doll face.” adding a quick peck to the cheek to his wife.

  Peggy gave him an odd grimace but played alone “Oh of course darling” she said with a smile.

  At the clerks command, the elevator descended stopping on the second floor, where they got out. The broomstick led them to the room at the rear of the building. “Well, Mrs Malone does this room feel okay for you.” he inquired.

  Before Peggy could reply, Jack cut in “No, this won’t do. How about something on the other side of the hall.” The clerk swore silently mouthing the words. Then smiled, leading the way across the hall. As they passed through the doorway, Peggy jabbed her husband in the ribs. “Jack, have you gone completely crazy?” Jack just winked. “Don’t forget I have got a lead headache. I was, in fact shot remember sweetie.”

  The next room seemed to please the private eye, not that he was giving much away, as the room was exactly the same as the prior room they’d just seen. But the broomstick was used to tricky customers, so he smiled diligently and enquired if there was anything he could do for them today. Jack nodded unbuttoning his jacket and loosening the tie from around his neck.

  Jack nodded “Yes, I want it to be deathly quiet” he tapped his wounded head significantly “as you can see I had a slight bump to the head and I need to rest up. Please put a Do Not Disturb sign on the door, and can you please get a bell hop to plug in a phone. Under no circumstances do my wife and I want to be bothered. If there are any visitors or phone messages kindly get the name and numbers. Is that plain, and like I said the tip will reflect your help, pal.”

  “Crystal, Sir” agreed the clerk “I will personally see your both not interrupted.”

  Jack palmed the clerk a twenty note “since we had no bag’s. Here’s the money for the bill. Put the receipt in the mailbox” he gave another ten note by way of tip and dismissed the clerk with a wave of a hand. As the door closed Peggy sank to the bed and yawned with a playful gesture. “Well, your crazy! A murder charge hanging over your head, the police trying kill or catch you, and you come to an almost respectable hotel and act like an old diva out of Vegas on her honeymoon.”

  “No such thing” he corrected her “as an old diva, on her honeymoon!”

  “Be serious Jack” she scowled “what in blazes made you do this. Why, you said yourself that Pelham’s gorilla’s were following us. It’s a solid dollar bet that they will be sitting down in the street waiting for us, well you.”

  “Exactly, darling. I’m counting on it. Do you know why I didn’t take the room across the hall? Well, this room has a nice little thing called a fire escape. Plus who doesn't like a handy little escape route from time to time. I’m a very cautious guest and very timid about fires darling” he said with a smirk.

  Peggy grinned “Oh you bloody twit, I see it now” Peggy kicked herself for not grasping Jacks plan sooner. Every since she hung up the cape mixed with the effects the nesting mother to be syndrome. Her once sharp crime fighting brain was now a little slow and need of a dust off. “Jack, you went to all this trouble to find a back door out of this place. Even if you had to sell some badly may I add, monster lies to get us here so we can sneak out on the police. But you know when you spotted them I could have lost them next to know time at all, just saying.”

  He kissed his wife “Remarkable, my dear Watson! But my dear Peg I didn’t want to lose them; I want them sitting out front, nursing coffee’s and a bag do dough-nuts. I want Pelham to believe we’re stuck here asleep. You can bet your sweet little pert bottom that right this minute, a scared desk-clerk is spilling his lip repeating all my room requirements and orders to one of Pelham’s cavemen”

  “So what Jack?”

  “So I take my leave through that oh so handy back alley fire escape, and have a nice pow-wow with our friend that double crossing Joe Christie. After that, well I’m empty but I’m sure something will work itself out. Plans do go like that from time to time.” Jack hurried to the small en-suité bathroom. He carefully unwound the bandage and found that the deep gash had crusted over enough to stop the bleed. He gingerly adjusted his hat and came back into the bedroom. Peggy still sat on the edge of the bed looking very serious and ready for anything. Peggy moved away from her clutch bag and moved towards her man.

  “Oh Jack, why did you get mixed up in this terrible how’d you do. Let’s just take a boat somewhere nice. Europe maybe?”

  “I offered you that, my dear Mrs Malone.” he reminded her with a grin, “but ever the stubborn attorney you chased me, your own personl private eye into doing this, literally you kicked my ass out of bed and out the door headlong into this chaos. Now I’ve got to ger out of it….” Jack was cut short as he fell to the floor.

  “Your right darling I got you into this. Now I’ll get you out of it...Goodnight Sweetheart see you soon” she had shot him with the Queen’s Kiss and her husband was out for the count, walked over to the bed picking up a cushion and putting it under her man’s head. Walking back to her clutch bag she unclasped it and the bag unrolled, revealing the cape mask and attire of the woman she promised she wouldn't be. The Queen Of Spades…. She may not be the Peggy Ellen of old, she maybe pregnant but she was Liberty Cities Queen of Spades, and now this Queen needed to save her wronged King. She brushed her man’s cheek with her lips, crossed the room and raised the sash window.

  The alley appeared deserted. The small hotels fire escape was the type that descends with weight. So Peggy eased herself through the window and turning, blew a parting kiss to her husband. “you plan that trip darling, will be back soon.” she smiled and closed the window behind her. It was time for her two spring into action.

  Once on the alley below, Peggy swung south. Keeping
to the alleys and slip roads that criss-crossed the alley. It would have been quicker to hit the main streets, but the police were still after the Queen and the warrant she imagined was still out. She couldn't afford to get arrested not ontop of everything else. Keeping her eye out for a tail she cautiously started heading West until she located a drug store with a police phone booth, thankful it was out of the way of the main street, tucked behind a large oak tree. It was just right to make a few calls without being seen. Inside she dialled the P.W.B and placed a call to an old friend. “Hello, Parish its Spade.” Parish and Peggy as the Caped Hero had grown a kind of working relationship, but the now Captain Parish of the P.W.B had no clue her former partner was The Queen Of Spades...

  “Hello Spade, this is Parish.”

  “Hello Spade, it’s been what two years, this was the last thing I was expecting today.” Parish said down the phone.

  “I imagine not. Are you working on the Rogers case by any chance?”

  “We’re all working on it in a way,” Parish replied cautiously “The drag-net is out for the perps, Christie and Harmsworth.”

  “Let me guess, you like the rest want em’ dead eh?”

  Parish gave a sigh not wanting to either agree or disagree “I had heard something like that on the wire,” she was forced to admit.

  From a concealed pocket in her dress she fished out the note she had jotted Christie’s address on. “Hey Parish get your coat, I got a lead on them, but I want them alive and kicking Parish” she said “and before you ask I have reasons for wanting them alive. So how about it Parish one last case for old times sake. I will explain everything I promise.”