True Beginnings (The Lost and Found Series Book 3)

by Amanda Mackey

  Hadn’t that been a fact? It had all but killed me when he’d turned himself over to save Mac. Not that I’d wanted Mac to be killed, but if I had to choose between both of them, it would be Dec every time.

  “So how did you manage it?”

  “It wasn’t as hard as I imagined. Once they had you outside, they let their guards down. Someone had knocked you out, and so two of the assholes had to carry you to the car. I waited until you were in the trunk and made my move.”

  “Never let your guard down,” Dec said as if thinking out loud. It was one of the first things we’d been taught as soldiers and something we’d had to train our minds into. In the zone and focused at all times. When mastered, it was a key weapon in taking down the enemy who weren’t trained in mind control. A hard thing to perfect, but necessary to be a cut above the rest. Patience was another taught virtue. Many soldiers struggled with it, but in times of intense watching and waiting for the green light to proceed, it sporadically proved their downfall or death.

  “Exactly. Anyway, the rest is pretty self-explanatory. I took one out the second he shut the trunk, and in the blink of an eye the other two had bullet holes in their heads.”

  “Nice. Thanks, dude. I really mean that. I’d be dead now if it weren’t for you.”

  Taking in a lungful of air, happy with the outcome, not wanting to think of the alternative, I changed the subject.

  “Anyway, I’m heading out in two days. Going back to Afghanistan. I hoped you were staying behind. I need you to keep an eye on Char while I’m gone.”

  “Yeah? Awesome, man. Good to know one of us will be over there kicking butt. Don’t worry about it. Mac and I will make sure she’s safe. How is she?”

  “Not good. Freaking out at the smallest things. Took her to the park today and something scared the hell out of her.”

  “Sounds like you actually care.”

  Care? Hardly. I didn’t care for much, although Red had grown on me since I’d had to bring her back from the brink of a breakdown more than once. I knew the gutsy woman had balls, so to see her so timid and afraid worried me. I wasn’t sure if that was the same as caring, but I sure as shit hoped not, because I didn’t really need any extra emotional weight dragging me down.

  “Nah. Just doing my job like you asked. Keeping her safe and all that, so I’ll need you to take over when I leave.”

  “Done. Just make sure you come back in one piece.”

  “You know it.” Hearing a sound behind me, I turned and noted Char standing three feet behind me, her brows drawn in. Not sure how much she heard, I said to Dec, “Gotta go, man. I’ll call you when I’m ready to head out.”

  “Stay safe, brother.”

  Ending the call, I rose from the sofa. Before I could speak, Red began.

  “You’re leaving? In two days? How long have you known? Were you going to tell me?”

  Her voice had risen, fright etched into her face. I didn’t know whether to move forward or remain where I was. I chose the second option. She’d obviously heard most of my conversation.

  “I only just found out. Another mission came up. Dec will keep you safe.”

  Initially, she’d wanted to stay with them but now, the look on her face told me otherwise.

  “Ahh, I thought you’d be happy. You didn’t want to stay here, remember?”

  She blinked, looked down at the floor, and then hooked me with her stunning eyes. “I guess…well…it’s not as bad here as I thought. I’m just shocked you’re going into battle again.”

  She turned her back on me and strode into the kitchen. Damn it. Following, I saw she’d dished up some chicken and made a salad. Dinner could wait. I needed to clear the air.

  Striding closer to where she had stopped with her back to the sink, feeling my body burn the closer I got, I stood toe to toe, peering down at her. “You don’t want me to go?” My voice sounded odd. As if a morsel of hope clung to it. Hope that she’d say, “don’t go,” but she didn’t. Instead, she pursed those damn, adorable lips and found her backbone.

  “I didn’t say that. You think I don’t want you to leave? Please! That’s crazy talk. Of course I’ll be happy to go with Mac. You just threw me, that’s all. I mean, I didn’t think I’d be leaving quite so soon.”

  Yeah. She had unspoken words in that sentence. I wasn’t stupid. Her eyes said things she couldn’t.

  When her head tilted downward again, I grasped a wad of hair and pulled her face back up. I wasn’t done with her yet. For some stupid reason, I needed her to be totally honest with me.

  “Red, admit it. You’ll worry about me when I’m gone.”

  “No. I’ll be glad to see the end of you.”

  A fire lit in her gaze, and damn if it didn’t stoke my own embers. This was the woman I loved to hate. I could deal with our constant bantering and bickering. It was when she became all soft and vulnerable that I floundered. As broken as she’d been earlier, she still had a kick of fire when she needed it.

  Pulling harder on her hair, wondering why she wasn’t cowering away from me after her attack, I held firm, not willing to hurt her further. Still, I needed to know what went on in that head of hers.

  “You going to tell me the truth?”

  Her eyes flashed, cheeks reddening. Moving my face closer, I watched her pupils enlarge. Her breasts heaved, grazing my chest.

  “What truth? What are you doing?” she asked, her exhalation catching my lips.

  My restraint wavered on a dark edge as adrenalin began its destruction through my body. Like on a mission, I walked into unknown territory, the thrill making me heady.

  “You don’t want me to leave. Why is that, Red? Answer me, and it better be the truth.”

  Gasping, she attempted to pull her head free, but I held strong. I had all the control and my psyche cheered.

  “Or what?” she challenged.

  Oh no. Do not challenge me, woman. I will win. Every. Damn. Time. “You don’t want to find out.”

  But the challenge was already there. Egging me to act. So I did. Without thinking. Pure instinct I knew I’d live to regret.

  Dragging her mouth onto mine, my fingers still balling in her hair, I thought I’d combust when I tasted her. Every cell in my body imploded. The kiss had a mixture of anger, frustration, and pure need in it. Her lips parted immediately, asking for my tongue. It knew what to do and found hers without hesitation. A low whine left me in a rush as if relief were the cause, and quite possibly it was. It had been a long time since I’d had a woman, desperate and pliant, clinging to me. Her hands found my shirt and seized it.

  I let go of her hair and gripped her head with one hand, the other pulling her in until we were glued together. By God, the frustrating woman felt better than I’d imagined. My body ignored my head’s warning to back off. She felt amazing. Better than I deserved, given the way I’d treated her. But hell if I wasn’t going to enjoy the sensation for a bit longer. The aggressive assault didn’t seem to frighten her. In fact, the noises coming out of her throat told me the opposite. Her lips were a feast and I’d been in a famine. Moist and plump, I fed off her and she gave me what I needed as if she knew.

  Her curves made me want to explore, and so I tested the waters, sliding my fingers south to her ass cheek. Oh yeah. Just as I figured. Firm and round, fitting into my large hand as if God himself had crafted it just for me.

  The heat was unbearable. My mind was a hazy mess of hormones, my body amped up on repressed sexual tension.

  When her hands left my chest and worked their way under my shirt to claw their way up my back, I damn near lost it.

  Just the simple touch her fingers elicited on my too sensitive skin had me bite her bottom lip, hard.

  A growl left me, a muted sound she captured on a hiss, her lips kneading my own. Hard pebbles pressed into my chest, brushing backward and forward. Letting her head go, both hands gripped each ass cheek. I thrust forward, desperate for friction. Pressure built.

  Her ass wasn’t enough.
I needed more. Her breasts beckoned, and in a nano-second I had a handful of plush flesh, thumbing a throbbing nipple into oblivion.

  Pulling back, Char arched her neck and let out a long moan. “Ahhh, yesss!”

  Hearing her satisfaction pushed me into the red zone. Her long, elegant neck invited my mouth to a feast of epic proportions, allowing me to nip and suck my way along its length.

  And then the unthinkable happened. My acute hearing, no matter that I was in the zone, made me drag myself away and spin when I heard a gasp.

  Shoving Char behind me without thinking, ready to go ballistic, I tightened in preparation.

  Standing in the kitchen entryway stood Mac and Dec. Mac appeared stunned, her eyes wide, hands around her neck. Dec, the prick, grinned like the ass he was. When the hell had they come in, and why hadn’t they knocked?

  Breathing out harshly as my shoulders released some tension, I barked out, “The fuck, man? Ever heard of knocking?”

  “I did. Hard. You didn’t answer, so I tried the door. It was open. Ever hear of locking it?”

  Remembering I’d gone to check the mail earlier, I’d left it unlocked. Stupid on my part. Now that I had Red to worry about, I needed to keep it locked for her peace of mind and mine. Normally I didn’t worry about it. I could take care of anyone who dared try and step foot in my home without an invite. I guess having her around had me not thinking with a clear head.

  Char was a quiet mouse behind me. I could only imagine how embarrassed she was. Needing to get rid of the awkwardness, I asked, “So. This better be good.”

  Mac attempted to relax, but her eyes kept darting from me to where she knew Char hid.

  Throwing a six pack of beer on the table, Dec played it cool. “Thought we’d stop by after Mac’s shift and have a drink. Say hi before you leave.”

  Pivoting to make sure Red was decent, I stepped away, walking over to my friends. Giving Dec a bro hug, seeing the knowing smirk back in place, I leaned into his ear and ground out low, “Wipe that smile, shit for brains. It was a moment of weakness. Nothing more.”

  He roared with laughter, which pissed me off. Giving him a glare, I rounded on Mac and embraced her with more affection.

  “Uh, are we interrupting?” she asked. “’Cause we can come back tomorrow night.” Noticing the uneaten dinner on the table, she frowned and glanced at Dec. “They haven’t eaten yet. We should go.”

  “No!” Char and I both confirmed in unison. Looking at her with rosy cheeks, oversized lips I’d been gorging on, and her hair clumped in a mess, my inner warrior high-fived at the fact I’d made her look like that.

  Mac walked over to Char and both girls hugged. Something was whispered I couldn’t make out, so I left them to it, grabbed my plate and cutlery, and walked into the living room, giving Dec the signal to follow. “Grab me a beer.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Char

  I eyed my best friend after she’d hugged me. She stood close with a curious look on her face.

  “I take it you’re feeling better?” she offered.

  Knowing what she referred to, I gripped the edge of the sink where I’d been mauled only moments earlier. I could still taste him. Smell him. Feel him. What had happened to my willpower? And why did I not care if I ever found it again?

  “I’m okay. Physically, anyway.”

  Knowing what was coming, I braced myself. Mac looked to where the guys were as if hoping they were still out of earshot range.

  “Soooo…you two have come to a truce?”

  “Look, I know what it looked like and what you must be thinking. To be honest, it just kind of happened. One minute he was telling me about his next mission in two days, and then, well…you know the rest. Nothing is going on. I don’t know. Shit. My mind is so messed up after the attack.”

  Giving me another hug, she backed off. “It’s okay, sweetie. You don’t need to explain. You’re both adults. You’re both attractive. Single.”

  Moving to sit at the table, she added, “You don’t even have to talk to me about it. Come. Sit. Eat your food.”

  Deciding I didn’t want to talk about what just went down because even I didn’t know, I sat.

  “How are you feeling, really?” she asked, back to the concerned friend.

  “My injuries are healing. I just feel…jumpy and scared, you know? Lost and numb at times.” Cutting my chicken, I took a bite.

  “It’s totally understandable. I can arrange for you to speak to Jen at the hospital.”

  Jen, the psychologist, mainly helped patients, but I knew she’d squeeze me in for a session if I chose. Did I need to? I wasn’t sure.

  “Maybe. Just give me a few days.”

  “Okay. Let me know. How long do you think you’ll have off work?”

  “They’ve given me a week, but I’ll see how I feel in another couple of days. I may return early. I actually think work will help. I hate sitting around thinking too much. You know I’m not one to sit idle at the best of times.”

  Nodding, she said, “I do know, and I kind of agree about work keeping your mind busy. I just don’t want to see you go back before you’re mentally ready.”

  “I don’t know if I’ll be mentally ready for a while, but I need to get back.”

  Hearing the boys laughing in the other room, I changed the subject. “So. It looks like I’ll be living with you for a bit, after all.”

  Smiling, she cheered, “I’m so excited! We can do girly stuff. Lounge around at night in our PJ’s. Bitch about work. Not that we don’t do that anyway, but you get the idea. It’s going to be fun.”

  “Yeah, fun listening to you two going for it at night. Seriously, how will I cope with that?”

  She smirked slightly, her eyes alight as if thinking about her nightly shenanigans. “I’ll talk to Dec and insist he tone it down a bit. You know, play the unstable friend card.”

  “You think he’ll be annoyed I’m staying?”

  “No!” she offered immediately. He likes you. He’ll comply with my wishes and be on his best behavior if he knows just what you’re going through.”

  Breathing out, I hoped so. I hated intruding on their lives now that they were at a better place.

  Needing to ask a question I’d wondered about for a while, I didn’t hold back. “How do you do it? I mean, you went through far worse than I did and here you are. Normal. I know you had a few freak-outs and nightmares, but you seem your old self.”

  Looking pensive, she thought about her answer. “It wasn’t easy at first. Har…Dec helped. Damn, I still go to call him Harley. He’ll always be Harley to me.”

  Harley was the name given to Declan when he had suffered amnesia and didn’t know his identity. We’d all gotten to know him as Harley. Then when his memories returned, he decided no matter how much he wanted to be Harley, he couldn’t. Declan was who he truly was.

  “We both went through the ordeal together, and I think because we were both involved, it helped when we talked about it. Dec was great. And you, of course. I’m here for you. Let me know what I can do to get you through it.”

  Picking at my salad, I smiled at her. She truly was the best. “Thank you. I mean it.”

  Realizing I ate in front of her, I asked, “You want some of this? I’ve made plenty of chicken and there’s some salad left over?”

  “No. We grabbed Subway after work. I didn’t feel like cooking and neither did Dec.”

  “Okay. Well, I’m going to leave this for later. I’m not all that hungry now. Let’s go join the men.”

  Putting my plate in the fridge, I followed Mac into the living room. The boys were sprawled out on the couch, beers in hand, smiling about something we weren’t privy to. Mac went and sat on Dec’s lap, leaving me uncomfortable as to where to sit. Eying the space beside Viper, knowing it wouldn’t be a great idea to be that close, I opted for the single chair on the other side of the coffee table. Far enough away to keep his heat from leaching into me.

  I couldn’t even look at him af
ter our fiery tryst, so I stayed focused on Mac and Dec, but immediately became keenly aware that he watched me.

  “You doing okay, Char?” Dec’s concern made me smile. He truly cared.

  “Yeah. I’ll be fine. I’m gonna go back to work in the next day or so. I need it.”

  “The hell you are!” rumbled a thunderous boom.

  Unable to stop my blood from rising at his commanding tone, I shot him a glare. “I’m going. It’s not up for debate. You don’t get to dictate to me. You’ll be gone, anyway.”

  He clenched the can so tightly I expected it to spill over under the pressure. Green eyes had darkened. A vein in his neck popped. “You’re still recovering! You need to rest.”

  Mac fidgeted on Dec’s lap but she didn’t interrupt.

  “Resting isn’t doing me any good. I need to keep busy. I know what I need!” I almost shouted.

  Deep down I knew he was simply concerned and it should have placated me, but when someone tried to tell me what to do, it brought out my stubborn side. I didn’t like to be told what to do. Especially by such a commanding man who obviously had issues with being put in his place.

  “What you need is to listen to reason. You might think you’re ready to return to work, but you’re not. You freaked out earlier at the slightest sound. That’s not ready to go back to a chaotic hospital where you need your wits about you.” His voice was eerily low. He stared me down. Tension filled the room.

  Dec cleared his throat. “Ahh, how about we assess the situation in a couple of days? Let’s get you settled in with Mac and take it from there.” Turning to his friend, he shared, “I’ll make sure she’s ready, man, don’t worry.”

  Viper didn’t waver. Something in that gaze made me take pause. It was more than the need to control. Sitting underneath I saw fear. Fear for me? Fear that he wouldn’t be here to make sure I was okay? I couldn’t be sure but, I sighed. Could it be possible that he actually did care about me in his own odd way?

  Silently he appeared to be pleading with me.

  “What Dec said.” I put the burden of the conversation back onto someone else.