“You should be,” I said. “Go ahead, take a load off and just relax a bit.”
“Ok, I’m relaxed. Are you going to phone sex me? What are you wearing? Yeah, that’s it… take it off… call me Vinnie… you like that…?
I tried to keep from laughing. “I do phone sex way better than that, man. I’d have you creaming all over your dickies if I really laid into it. But listen, I’ve got to tell you something.”
“What’s up?”
“That nanny of mine…”
“The hot one?”
“Yes, as opposed to the other nannies I don’t have because they don’t exist. Yes, she is very hot.”
“What about her?”
“I finally made a move and she accepted,” I said.
“Really? That’s awesome.”
“Yeah, I was afraid she was totally going to say this wasn’t ok with her, or that we shouldn’t be doing this, but I kissed her and she kissed back and the whole thing just took off from there.”
“Damn, that sounds hot. I’m going to get one hand free here.”
“Yeah, you’d like that you pervert. I’m telling you this because I’m way happy. This is unprecedented. I never dreamed it would actually happen, but we made love. And it was mind blowing. Man, I think I’m actually in love here.”
“Whoa… hold on … I’m happy you found a great woman and things are going along well for you, but don’t you think it’s a bit early to go saying things like that?”
“I do, but if it feels right then it feels right,” I said.
“Wow, I’m happy for you, man. I hope this is the real thing. Does she feel that way too?”
“I think so, but it’s too early to really say for sure. I haven’t really talked to her about it in this level of depth. Do you think I’m crazy? Is it really too early to feel this way? Or should it not matter? I don’t want to put time limits on things. I’ve always thought that was really stupid.”
“Yeah, I guess you have a point, but you should have that conversation with her soon. You never know until you do.”
“Well, we admitted that we have strong feelings for each other and that we want to see where this goes, but I just didn’t elaborate to her that I really think that she might be the one. And then when I start thinking that way, it’s like I feel I’m going crazy and I’m just jumping on the first feeling that really feels right.”
“You are overanalyzing this thing. Just wait and don’t tell her any of this. Let things develop naturally. You have plenty of time. You just started seeing each other. You have no reason to rush into anything.”
“Right. I’m just so impatient. I want results and I want them now. That sort of thing, you know?”
“Yeah, buddy. I know. You want to approach this like a business, but it’s not one. This isn’t analyzing data and trends to see where to move money and where is the least likely to lose your shirt gambling.”
I laughed. “Thanks, man. I needed to hear your friendly voice putting things in perspective. I’m not used to feeling this way. With people in general I’ve never been at all too hung up on how they respond to me, whether it is accepting me or rejecting me. It’s never mattered to me, but with this woman it feels like my entire life is hinging on it.”
“Yeah, it’s not. Just take it slow, one day at a time my friend.”
“Will do,” I said. “Thanks.”
I ended the call and sat back to sip my hot coffee. It was the way to start the morning. I was ready to text Teri and ask her how she felt about last night after a night’s sleep, but I didn’t dare do such a thing. I needed to force my mind onto other matters right now. I had some meetings to prepare for and if I wanted these investors to give me money for some new ventures then I was going to need to bring my A game. I couldn’t have my mind filled with all of this. Everything was going to be just fine.
I threw myself into work for the remainder of the morning and then I went to pick up some pizza for lunch at the closest pizzeria I frequented. It was the best. I loved it. So tasty. And afterwards I got in the car and drove to the next meeting I had scheduled.
As I drove along, I felt like I was on top of the world. I was not used to feeling the least bit out of control. Even when I was grieving I still felt like I was in control of it, as if I would decide exactly how long it lasted and I would decide when I wanted to bring it back again. I’d operated my entire life that way.
This was the first time I felt like I was not in control of myself or my emotions. I was at the mercy of forces I didn’t understand. But I had to change the way I reacted to this. I had to just let nature take its course and I would see how things went after it was over.
Chapter 6
Teri
I woke up that morning before dawn. I hadn’t intended to wake up then, but I suddenly found myself wide awake. Was I dreaming? Was it a nightmare? I couldn’t remember. I felt like I was locked in something somewhere and I couldn’t get out of it. But it was dark and confusing.
I realized I was not home. I was somewhere different. Where was I? What was I doing there? It was dark, but not totally. I could see a little bit. I looked to my left and it all made sense to me now. I saw Darren lying there naked in the bed deep asleep. He was so peaceful looking. He was so handsome, and the way his face was totally emotionless made me think that he was much younger than he normally looked. It was like he’d been taken back to his teen years and I was catching a glimpse of what he must have looked like as a boy of about eighteen. He was beautiful and his ruggedly handsome looks were just starting to blend through.
I turned around and checked my phone. It was just after five in the morning. Shit. I’d slept there all night. I had to go. I didn’t want to explain to Bobby what I was doing there and according to Darren he often woke up about this time no matter what time he went to sleep. It was some natural rhythm that just woke him up at that time every day. I had to get out of there.
I grabbed my clothes and got dressed. Then I tiptoed out of the bedroom and went down the steps slowly. I made my way down the hall, past the kitchen. I checked the security system to make sure that nothing was armed before I opened the door and ended up setting it all off. Then I carefully headed out and locked the door behind me. I set the security system back up as I had been taught and then I headed out the door and got into my car.
“Dammit,” I said to myself when I reached the quiet safety of the car. I had not intended to sleep that long. I hadn’t intended to sleep at all, but being wrapped up in Darren’s arms just felt so good that I was not able to control myself.
It was amazing. I never thought it would happen that fast, but it had and we really went for it. That sex was like we’d taken every single thing that had been pent up inside of both of us for a long time and we had purged it with everything had.
I knew as soon as the sex was over that I was truly in love with this man. He was everything I’d ever wanted in every single way. I never even realized exactly what I wanted, but when I met him I knew the game was over. I’d done my best to keep my feelings inside and not to let them spill over by a single degree. I hoped he couldn’t tell.
But at least we’d told each other that this was real and we both wanted to see where it went.
I kept thinking about the way he’d just taken me and had his way with me. He was forceful, yet respectful and he seemed to know exactly how to touch me, how to hold me, and how I needed to be taken care of. And his cock. Oh, that magnificent prick was so good. I needed it back inside of me right now. I was getting so wet sitting in the car thinking about it as I drove away from his house. Damn. I was addicted to that man. This love could be addicting.
Love? Yeah, it was. I knew it. I wasn’t going to hide from the word, but I might refrain from using it around Darren. I didn’t want him to think that I was becoming obsessed with him or something.
When I got home, I crept into the house and headed for my room. But I was not that quiet and I was not the only one awake. Ida was sittin
g in the kitchen eating a bowl of oatmeal.
“Hey, there,” she said. “You are really getting in late tonight. Or is it early?”
I smiled. “Yeah, mind your business.”
“Oh, it should be my business. You need to come over here and talk to me. I want details. I want everything.”
I sighed. I wasn’t going to get around this. Inquiring minds want to know.
“Can’t I even get a shower?”
“No,” she said. “You can shower later. I want to smell the sex on you.”
“You are being so gross right now.”
“I know. That’s just my way.”
“You should find another way,” I said.
I sat down at the table and eyeballed her oatmeal. It looked disgusting.
“What?”
“You make yours with milk? That’s gross. Why not use water?”
“Because, this is better tasting.”
“Well, I heard someone the other day on television say that dairy milk has pus in it,” I said.
She grimaced. “Probably. That must be the sweet after flavor that I get when I eat this. And I think it’s good for protein.”
“Probably. That must be it.”
“Well, what happened?”
I told her the whole story. She sat there the entire time silent as a mouse with her big mouth gaping open. “Wow, that is intense. Oh, damn. I need a shower again. This is too much. You are living the life that most of us dream of right now. It’s like you are part of your own Lifetime romance movie.”
“Aren’t most of those about psycho stalkers?”
“Yes,” she said. “But the first half of the movie is always so sexy and hot. Then it gets bad with the murder and whatnot.”
“Oh, but the first half is ok? That’s good to know that my life reminds you of that.”
“Sure,” she laughed. “So, what happens now?”
“I’m not sure. I think we just take things and see where they go from here. I know I care deeply about him. I want to see what happens next. I just hope that something doesn’t go wrong. I don’t have the best luck with men.”
“I think your luck is changing,” she said. “And you have a great guy there. It sounds like he has just the same passion for this that you do.”
“I think you’re right. But I have that fear. That old fear that sits right in the middle of my stomach and burns there. It goes away sometimes, but then it comes back with a vengeance. You know?”
“I’ve been there a time or two,” I said.
“Yeah, it’s silly.”
“No. It’s not silly. It’s something that you have to process. You have to feel it. You just have to go through it. And it is scary. There is no reason that you should ever feel sorry about the way you feel. That is nonsense, honey. But I assure you that the fear is no reason not to go through something. If it didn’t matter then you wouldn’t be afraid. So it has its place, right?”
“I guess it does,” I said.
“Well, I’m going to have to get ready to go soon,” she said. “I’ve loafed around too long today listening to your stuff.”
“Why were you up so early?”
“Are you kidding? I’ve already got my run in. I was up at four-thirty.”
“Aren’t you scared running out there in the dark by yourself?”
She shook her head. “Hell, whatever is out there had better be a lot more afraid of me.”
“I’m sure it is,” I said with a chuckle. Ida was tough as nails. I admired her so much.
I went into the bathroom and took a shower. Then I got dressed and ready for the day I had in front of me. I did not get nearly as much studying done yesterday as I had planned and now I was going to have to pay for it. I might flunk a quiz or two, but oh well. There were worse things in life. At least that was what Ida would have said. She was one of those people who never seemed to worry about anything. Even bad things had their silver lining as she was so fond of saying.
I grabbed my phone and texted Darren. I had to tell him why I left so suddenly. I thought about those cheesy movies where someone left a handwritten note on the pillow. Well, that was kind of silly now when we could just shoot someone a text. But it didn’t have the same touch of charm to it. I wished I’d written him a quick, old fashioned note. It would have been cute. He would have loved it. I wanted to show him that I was different and that whatever we had and how it developed was going to be a unique experience for the both of us. I could feel this deeply within my bones.
I grabbed some quick breakfast and then headed off to the library on campus that opened at six. I had some time to get some studying done before my first class. That professor was notorious for springing pop quizzes on random days and he loved to do it when he knew we were the least bit prepared. It was like he knew that we hadn’t studied somehow. It was the last few semesters for me and I had to admit I was starting to feel like slacking off. I didn’t care so much anymore. It was almost over, but that was the make or break moment that could actually kill you if you were not careful. I knew that.
I was able to actually focus and get some things committed to memory. This really surprised me, mostly because until that moment I’d been unable to get my mind off Darren. I was counting the hours until I could fall into his arms again. I fantasized that after Bobby went to sleep, Darren and I would slip off to his bedroom for another round of playtime. And maybe some time we’d get a babysitter or a nanny to cover for us when we wanted to go out somewhere. But… wait, that was me. I smiled at the thought. What would we do on those occasions? I hoped that Darren wanted to do things that weren’t just sexual. He hadn’t hinted that he was thinking this would be a sexual relationship only, especially after the way he spoke last night. I was just becoming a little paranoid. Did I think that if we did that two nights in a row that we’d established a bona fide pattern and nothing was going to change that?
I had to get a grip. My phone buzzed right then and I saw it was Darren. I nervously read his response to my message. It said, “Good thinking. I’ll see you tonight.”
I smiled.
He’d responded to me. It was like receiving this huge level of validation. But I didn’t want to feel that crazy about a guy. A man who could drive me that crazy so easily could get away with a lot if he wanted to. Not that I believe Darren would be one of those guys who would take advantage of something like that, but you never could tell about people.
That was the craziness of it. I didn’t know Darren well. I barely knew him at all. But I felt like I knew him. And that was a dangerous road to walk down sometimes.
Shit.
I realized I was almost late for class. I quickly grabbed my stuff and jogged out of the library and headed toward the social sciences building which was about a half mile from where I was. I should have left ten minutes ago. I was going to be late. Dammit.
The campus was sparse at this time of the day. Most of the people moving around were coming back from parties and were massively hungover, or they were jogging and trying to do something healthy for their bodies. Or they were like me and sprinting for their next class.
I made it to the building and sprinted down the hallway to my classroom. To my amazement I made it with two minutes to spare and I had gotten my exercise in that morning after all.
I sat down at an empty desk and scrambled to study more for that pop quiz I was sure was coming. I was reviewing my notes when I felt my phone vibrate. I quickly looked at it and saw that it was from my mother. She wanted me to have dinner with her that evening. I would tell her later that I was busy. And she would not want to accept that of course, and now she would be worried about me and she would demand that I talk to her on the fucking phone. I hated talking to my mother sometimes. She was so invasive and wanted to know every single detail of my personal life, and usually it was because she wanted to know why I didn’t have a personal life. The reality was that she wanted grandchildren while she was young enough for people to be amazed that she was a
grandmother. That was it. My mother is one of the vainest people on the planet. It had not been easy growing up with a mother like that.
“Alright, class,” Professor Wendell said as he closed the door and sauntered slowly up to the front of the class. “Do we know what today is?”
“The day before tomorrow!” some wise ass in the back cracked.
The professor laughed and mocked the student before hopping down off his desk and grabbing a stack of papers. “Nope. It is pop quiz time. It’s been a while, and you should have been expecting this.”
We all groaned. Looking around it was not at all a secret there were some very scared looking faces staring around. He’d already tricked us with pop quizzes twice this semester. I had to bring my grade up a full letter grade to have a hope of getting into the best graduate programs.
“Oh, my God!” a girl beside me gasped. “I should have known. I should have known. Breathe Rachel, breathe…”
I tried not to pay too much attention to her. I didn’t want her to know that I was watching her pain and I didn’t want to be put on the mark to have to show that I really cared. I was too worried about my own shit.
The professor sat the paper down on my desk and I saw it was three essay questions. They were worded in a weird way that might trip some people up, but I thought I would be fine. And as I sat there getting ready to read the first question I thought about how Darren would tell me that I would do great. He would be proud of me. I knew it. And in just about eight hours I would be seeing him in person again. I was so excited.
I took a deep breath and got to work.
Chapter 7
Darren
“Everything is coming along well,” Tate Alderson said to me.
I took a look around at the property I was developing. It was a week behind schedule and I was not at all happy with the progress. This was one of five houses I was flipping in this same subdivision. It was close to a shopping mall and a big part of a business district, so it was most likely going to command a hefty price tag if I ever did sell, or if I just stuck to renting the property. I would probably rent for a while and when the market was right for it I would sell it to someone who didn’t know the market as well as I did and they would be stuck with some of the diminishing results in the near future. It was not kind, but it was business. And that was something I never let conscience enter into. It had no place there. A lion never did that with its prey. It saw food and nothing else.
Falling for the Nanny Page 5
