Challenge: A Contemporary MMA Romance: Oni Fighters Book 3

by Natalie Gayle

  I took the break in conversation to take a few mouthfuls of the omelet. It was excellent, much to my surprise.

  I watched Anthony do similar, then put his knife and fork down.

  “Look, Seth, we can sit here and dance around it or I can just tell you what you need to know. Rachel told me why you’re struggling to commit to Sophia, well, at least in her opinion. With a baby on the way and a woman counting on you, you deserve to know the truth on a couple of different fronts and it’s probably going to be a big shock.”

  I sat back and pushed my half-eaten breakfast aside. My appetite had suddenly disappeared.

  A baby on the way and a woman counting on me.

  “There’s no easy way to tell you any of this and I’m not even sure at which point to start. The full truth has only recently become apparent to me as well. I’ve been wanting to have this conversation with you for a while now, but your mother made me promise not to unless you sought us out.”

  My mother. Why did I know this was all going to come back to her? What the hell had she done? How did the witch have so much control over people?

  I braced myself, and had no idea where this was going to go. “Spit it out, Anthony.”

  He nodded. “Let me start from what you know then work a little to and fro.” I watched him take a mouthful of coffee as if to both lubricate his throat and give him the steel he’d need to get through whatever he had to tell me. It was blatantly obvious to me he’d prefer the coffee was actually Scotch but that wasn’t typically served in a suburban café at seven a.m.

  “I know you were there the day your father died. I know you found him and I also know that you overheard your mother and your father arguing beforehand.”

  Yep, nothing new there. I’d been living with those nightmares for well over twenty years and still they were crystal clear and showing no signs of fading any time soon. Wasn’t I lucky?

  “Rachel showed me the letters you wrote for counselling.” I was pissed about that but, again, not surprised. Rachel was doing what she thought was right. I’d definitely wring her neck next time I saw her. I absolutely didn’t want to hear this but I needed answers. If I had any chance of getting the demons under control, then I needed to start with the basis of truth. That much, I recognized. Anything else beyond there was totally up for grabs.

  “The next bit I’m going to tell you I’m getting a little bit second hand from your mother and also from what I know.” Okay, that didn’t quite make sense, but I could run with it. “The bit you didn’t know about was that your mother had threatened to leave your father because he was bipolar and refused to get the appropriate help. He refused to take the medication. He preferred the pain pills and being the artistic sort he was prone to feeling too much. His highs were very high and his lows were indescribable. She actually loved him very much, she just got to the point where she couldn’t love him when he refused to get help. According to her, you were the only thing in his life that brought him any joy and I’d have to agree with that from what I saw.”

  What did he mean from what he’d seen?

  “Yeah, you heard me right. Your father and I were actually cousins.”

  “Cousins! What the fuck?” How the hell had they kept that one quiet? Although now that I thought about it, it wasn’t hard to see. Mum never spoke of my father and, from what I knew, Anthony had bugger all family other than Mum and Rachel.

  He gave a remorseful grin. “Yep, it’s the truth. The next bit I’m going to tell you will explain a lot more. Your father and I grew up together. Your mother knew both of us way before. In fact, your mother and I were together before she married Daniel. We were sweethearts, but so young. I’d just graduated uni and got a scholarship to do my masters over at Harvard. I couldn’t pass it up. Your mother was so beautiful and carefree, I doubt you’d even recognize her.”

  Yeah, he was right. I was skeptical. My mum and carefree—nope, that idea just didn’t gel in my head.

  “Anyway, the plan had always been that I’d be gone for a couple of years, do my study, then come back and we’d settle down.” He looked away and I could see the bitterness in his eyes and something that looked sorely like regret. “I’d only been gone about six months when I got a letter from her explaining that she had married Daniel and was going to have his baby.”

  Fuck! Fuck!

  I could see the pain on his face. His pain became mine as I felt the knife to the gut. Would I get a message from Soph one day soon to say she was marrying someone else? The only difference between Anthony and me was that he lost his girl. I’d be losing my girl and my child to another.

  “I was devastated, as you could imagine. That time was about the darkest I can remember in my life. I did the only thing I knew, I worked my arse off, finished the course, and got a great job on Wall Street. Time went by and I finally got word that Daniel had passed.”

  He took another long gulp of coffee.

  “Call me a fool or whatever you want, but I was sitting in my shoebox of an apartment in New York one rainy winter Sunday when I knew exactly what I had to do. I spoke to my boss about getting a transfer to our Brisbane office, made up some bullshit story about family, and he bought it. A week later, I hopped a plane back to Oz.”

  I knew where this was going.

  “You know what happens now. What you probably wondered when you got older was how we’d got together so quickly? The truth was, we knew each other so well. We’d been together for years before.”

  Yeah, that actually made a lot more sense now.

  “Your mum was in a dark place when I got back and, I guess, to a degree, so was I. Your mum was devastated over the suicide, well, at least that’s what I thought at the time. And I was down on myself for ever leaving. I kept thinking what if I’d stayed?”

  Yeah, what if he had? I guess I would have had a different father. Maybe he would have actually loved me, rather than for me just to have been some baggage from a previous relationship.

  Was that what my child was destined to become?

  Oh, fuck, history was going to repeat itself.

  “I know what you’re thinking, Seth, and the biggest regret of my life is that I never worked for a relationship with you. I should have. My only excuse was I kept our relationship the way it was because your mother wanted it that way.”

  I couldn’t hold my tongue.

  “What sort of weak arsed answer or excuse is that?”

  He nodded and accepted my outburst. “Nothing you can say won’t be something I haven’t already berated myself with over the years. Your mother was worried I’d develop strong feelings for you, like Daniel had for you. She was jealous of the relationship you had with Daniel and did her best to keep us as separate as possible. For what it’s worth, I didn’t figure this out fully until just recently.”

  So many thoughts and feelings ran through my head and heart. My mother, the manipulative bitch—front and centre again.

  Then, something stabbed at me because it didn’t make sense. “But you’ve always been really close to Rachel.”

  His head dropped in what I could only interpret as shame. Finally, he raised his eyes to me. “I have. I’m not sure if you remember but about a month after Rachel was born your mother had to go back into hospital for some surgery—a hysterectomy. During that time, I looked after Rachel and, well, once I had that bond, I wasn’t letting it go for anything. Your mother seemed to know she couldn’t keep Rachel from me and never tried. I know she worried about it.”

  Now that he mentioned it, I vaguely recalled it. What ran through me more was bitterness. And where had I been…out in the cold again. The kid no one wanted.

  “Look, Seth, if I could go back and do things differently I would. In fact, I’d give anything to be able to do it. Now that I know the truth.”

  Wishes, nothing but hollowness.

  What did he want me to say? Was he looking for me to give him some sort of forgiveness. I’d never gone without anything material. It was the emotional conn
ection I had been lacking, I mean, hey, what’s love, comfort, a sense of belonging worth when you’re a kid? Apparently, not very fucking much.

  I sat there stony, determined not to let on how much this was killing me inside. Every wound I’d ever suffered as a kid felt like it had been flayed open again.

  “There’s really not much more that I can say for all those years in between. Other than I’m sorry you were hurting, Seth. That’s on your mother and me.”

  I took a sip of my water. My throat was suddenly dry.

  “Rachel mentioned the other night that Mum had some sort of breakdown a while back. I must have been at the mines when it happened.”

  He nodded slowly and looked very uncomfortable. “She did. Doctors say she had a nervous breakdown. The guilt towards you and the lies just got too much for her to bare.”

  “What are you talking about?” I actually found that really hard to believe. “Guilt towards me. Forgive me, Anthony, if I find that a bit rich to swallow.”

  “I can understand why you’d feel that way…there’s no simple or easy way to tell you this. Your mother’s breakdown was essentially over the fact that she’d hidden the true identity of your father all these years. You’re not Daniel’s son, Seth, you’re mine.”

  I felt the floor drop and I was free-falling. Anthony was my father. Every foundation of my world was nothing but rubble. An earthquake had ripped through my soul and shattered it.

  “I’m sorry this is so much of a shock to you, Seth. There was no easy way to tell you this.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me before?” I snarled, anger snapping all around me.

  “I should have. I see that now. But your mother couldn’t face it and her mental state has been so fragile. I didn’t want to risk it pushing her too far.”

  “Fragile, my arse. That woman could…would screw over the devil and not feel a second of remorse or concern. Oh no, as long as Irena gets what Irena wants, all’s good in the world. She’s a psychotic bitch and a grade A manipulator. What’s to say she was even telling the truth? She’s obviously a consummate liar. Did Daniel know or was he under her spell as well?”

  “He knew,” Anthony said quietly. “He didn’t care though, because Daniel was sterile. Childhood illness. I never knew this, otherwise I would have figured it out straight away. That was partially why she was so pissed at Daniel. When she found out she was pregnant, she panicked and went to Daniel. He’d always been in lust with her and he immediately agreed to help her out. You know your mother, she can’t cope with being on her own. Apparently, it was all good for a while then when Daniel went off the medication because he preferred the pain pills, he wasn’t there for her anymore. She had to do it on her own. According to her, the last straw was when she couldn’t cope with the fact he paid more attention to you than to her. That morning they fought, she’d been telling him she couldn’t bare to love him if he wouldn’t get help.”

  “Maybe if she wasn’t such a fucking bitch...”

  “Seth!” Anthony warned. “That’s your mother you’re talking about.”

  I couldn’t believe he was still defending her.

  “Yeah, you’re right, it is my mother. Only problem is, she’s been a crap one my whole life…and don’t even try to deny that Anthony, or is it Dad now?”

  His head dropped again. “I’ll leave you to decide that one, Son.”

  That term had always grated on me. I guess the only thing was now it was true.

  “You never knew or guessed?” It seemed so incredible to me. All these years, I’d thought my father was dead. Fuck, I’d mourned him, longed for him, and he’d been right there under my nose nearly my whole life.

  I felt so ripped off.

  “I really didn’t. You never looked like me. Thank God, you took after your mother’s side. The only thing I really recognize now is your drive and determination. That’s all me.”

  I had to give him that. Anthony was a genius. He was also a very successful businessman which suited Irena just fine. She enjoyed the best of everything.

  There was one thing that was still bugging the hell out of me and maybe Anthony had the answer, maybe he didn’t.

  “Why does she hate my lifestyle? She bawled Soph out in the hospital and she’s always hated how I partied. But now I know what I know, I’m guessing there’s more to it?”

  “She sees your unsettled lifestyle very much reminiscent of herself. She’s been worried that you are going to end up in the exact position you are in now, in fact—a tenuous relationship and an unwanted pregnancy.”

  My temper snapped.

  “My relationship is not tenuous and this baby is not unwanted. Don’t let me ever hear you speak of either like that again.” He snapped back at the icy chill of my voice. I didn’t speak the entire truth, but I wasn’t going to have Sophia and our baby subjected to the opinions of the most selfish and manipulative bitch I knew.

  More importantly, I was not going to ever let my child feel like they were baggage or not wanted. I knew all too well what that felt like and no child of mine was ever going to live with what I’d carried for years.

  “I guess I misunderstood then. Rachel said you were having troubles.”

  “No relationship is perfect. And I’m damned sure I don’t have all the answers. What I do know is what I don’t want in a relationship. I’ve had plenty of first hand experience of living in the wings of one of those. Just answer me one question, Anthony, why? How can you love her with all the lies and deceit, the hurt she’s subjected us all to?”

  He was quiet for a moment. “The love is bigger and real love forgives.”

  Jesus!

  “I recognize her flaws. Unfortunately, all you see is the flaws, I also see the beauty and the way she makes me feel. I know you must think it strange that I can tolerate her after the lie she’s had me believe all these years. Some days, I hate her for it. I could resent her and rage at her for keeping my son from me, but you were right there the whole time. I blame me more for not trying harder to be a better father to you. I was blind and I never got the chance to see the real son I had in front of me. For that, I will always feel shame and remorse. But through it all, one thing I know is that the love I feel for her is always more than the hate.”

  It was incredibly hard to believe. Preposterous.

  There was no way I was going to be able to mentally process what I’d learned right now. I wasn’t even going to try.

  “So, where does this leave us?” I asked him.

  He studied me for a moment and I looked into the eyes of my father for what felt like the first time. “Well, Seth that’s up to you. I’d really hope that one day we can have a loving, close relationship. I also know I have no right to either ask it or expect it of you. The ball’s in your court.”

  Yeah, it was, and that wasn’t the first time I’d heard that little phrase in the last couple of days.

  “To be perfectly honest, I don’t know how I feel about anything to do with you and Mum right now.”

  “I understand and respect that, Seth. We’re not going anywhere. Take a little time and think about things. I know it’s a huge amount to take in and you’ve got your own family to worry about now.”

  My own family…Sophia and the baby.

  “I just hope that even if we can never have the relationship we should have always had that at least you won’t deny us seeing our grandchild.”

  Emotions bombarded me for all directions and I’d had enough. Heard enough.

  There were a lot of emotions I still needed to sort through from what he’d told me, but I was also absolutely certain about some things as well.

  And those things were:

  My child needed to be loved and protected regardless what it cost me. I wasn’t going to give Sophia the opportunity to find some other ring-in to raise our child if I had anything to do with it.

  Love was a fucking powerful force and it could be used for good or evil in equal measures.

  Forgiveness and love
went hand in hand.

  I had somewhere I needed to be.

  27

  Sophia

  Suck it up, Soph. I told myself.

  He wasn’t coming.

  I just knew it.

  One of Dr. Collins’ staff had set me up in the room with the ultrasound machine. I was laying waiting, my flat belly exposed for the sonographer to do their thing.

  Eden took my hand, seeming to sense my disappointment.

  “He might have got held up. Traffic can be horrific, you know that.”

  I did know and it could well be the case.

  The problem was, he wasn’t here and, even though I had Eden, it wasn’t the same. I felt so alone. I wanted Seth, even if he didn’t want us.

  “He’s not coming.”

  “Hey, you don’t know that, and even if he doesn’t make it, we’ll get through this. Sisters forever, honey.” Eden squeezed my hand and gave me a comforting smile.

  “Sisters forever,” I repeated in agreement.

  The sonographer came in, turned off the lights, and sat down at the stool in front of the ultrasound machine.

  “Good morning, ladies. I’m Karen. Just going to smear a little gel on your belly and we’ll see what the little one’s up to. The gel maybe a bit cold.”

  She put a huge dob of gel on my lower abdominals and started to smear it around with the probe in search of where my baby lay safe in my belly.

  A few seconds later, a little blob appeared on the screen and the unmistakable swooshing noise with the thumping beat came through loud and clear.

  “Baby’s heart is good,” she said and took some measurements. Eden grinned down at me and I squeezed her hand.

  “Can you tell if it’s a girl or boy yet?” I glanced up to see the technician peering at what looked like the belly of my baby. But, hey, I was no expert.

  “Umm, sometimes at this age, it’s much easier in a few more weeks.”

  She moved on and took some measurements of the baby’s head and neck to complete the testing in conjunction from yesterday’s bloods for Down Syndrome.