No Filter

by Maxine Morrey

  ‘I’d like to pay my share.’

  He gave a little smile and took a drink from the chilled water on the table.

  ‘That bad, eh?’

  ‘Pardon?’

  He smiled, but it didn’t have the twinkle I’d already become accustomed to. ‘Usually when the lady wants to pay her half it’s because the date hasn’t gone all that well.’

  ‘What? No, it’s not!’

  ‘Or you’re standing up for feminism.’

  ‘Or you’re making fun.’

  ‘Not at all. OK, a little. But either way, I’d still like to pay. Call me old-fashioned. I asked you to dinner, and I’d like to pay, whether you enjoyed it or not.’

  ‘Alex.’ I raised an eyebrow at him. ‘I did enjoy it. I promise. I think I’m just… used to different things. My last boyfriend… well, if I wasn’t paying outright, we just split the bill most of the time.’

  ‘Seriously?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Right.’ He paused. ‘Was he a feminist?’

  I laughed and shook my head. ‘No, he was just tight. I like to pay my share. It makes me feel comfortable. And I like treating people when I can, but he kind of took the pee a bit. I never really saw it at the time. You know, you sort of think something’s normal after a while. But after it was all over, little things start prodding at your memory, don’t they? You begin to realise that maybe, once in a while, it would have been nice to have not bought my own birthday present or meal. And yes, I do realise that a few feminist fairies just died when I made that declaration, for which I am truly sorry.’

  Alex laughed. ‘I’m sure there’s something magical we can do to revive them.’

  My eyebrows shot up and a moment later, so did his. ‘I didn’t mean… I meant… honest to God, Libby. You’re seriously ruining my belief at having the ability to be cool and suave on a date.’

  ‘Cool and suave are overrated.’

  ‘They are?’

  ‘In my opinion.’

  ‘Well, that’s the only one that counts right now, so maybe I’m in luck.’

  ‘Maybe you are.’

  He smiled slowly at my reply and the look he gave me set off little flip-flops in my stomach and chest. Of course, it might have just been indigestion. But I was pretty sure it was mostly Alex.

  We left the restaurant, Alex automatically holding my hand as we descended the steps, watching my feet as I did so.

  ‘Amazes me how you women walk in those things.’

  ‘Don’t you like them?’ I asked teasingly as I reached the bottom step, staying on it so that, with its help and the shoes, I was more on a level with him.

  ‘Now, let’s not jump to any hasty conclusions.’

  ‘That’s what I thought,’ I said, half smiling and walking over towards the car. In two strides, Alex was back beside me.

  ‘So, if the wanting to pay thing wasn’t a signal that this date was going horribly, does that mean you’re not quite ready for me to take you home yet?’

  ‘What did you have in mind?’

  ‘We could go for a drink, or maybe a walk on the pier?’

  ‘Well, you’re driving, and I’ve had enough wine, so I think a walk sounds lovely.’

  ‘Great. The pier it is, then.’ We were back at his car. He opened the door for me. ‘May I?’ He tilted his head a tiny bit.

  I giggled and nodded as he put his hands on my waist, ready to lift me up into the seat again. ‘I’m definitely wearing a longer dress next time.’

  Alex stilled, his hands remaining on my waist. I met his eyes. ‘So, there’s going to be a next time?’ he asked, softly.

  I felt the warmth of his hands on my skin through the thin silk of my dress, and the hard muscle of his upper arms where I’d rested my hands preparing for the lift. He was looking at me as he’d done at the table, and I was almost definitely sure that this time it wasn’t indigestion.

  ‘Maybe,’ I repeated my line from earlier. His grip tightened briefly on my waist and he popped me up into the seat, but this time his hands remained there for a fraction longer than they had previously.

  Alex drove the short distance to Madeira Drive and parked the car, coming around and helping me out. He grinned as he did so. ‘I really should have warned you about the car.’

  ‘I told you, don’t worry about it. It all adds to the fun.’

  I waited for him to lock up, then began walking leisurely towards the Palace Pier. Above us, stars shyly began to show themselves in the clear sky of twilight. Alex brushed my hand with his fingers as we walked. I took the hint and let him take mine within his own. From the corner of my eye, I saw him smile and he gave the tiniest squeeze of my hand in acknowledgement. It was nice. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had held my hand like this. Someone who wasn’t generally covered, to some proportion, in either mud or foodstuff, that was. At seven, Liam was becoming less enthused at holding anyone’s hand, but Niall still reached up for mine when we went out and I loved it. Even on the times that we shared that hand hold with something unexpected and gooey. But there wasn’t anything gooey about Alex. Not in a bad way at least. Slanting my gaze to him surreptitiously, I took in his profile, felt the little flip again, and smiled.

  The pier was busy with locals, tourists and the usual summer influx of language students. We walked across the widening pavement, heading for the point where the pier itself began. I aimed for the thin panel of slats that ran close together in a pathway, ensuring my heel wouldn’t get stuck, and we walked along, enjoying the bustle of the season. As we got around halfway, I stopped suddenly, looking down.

  ‘Oh, no.’

  Alex pinged back a little, still attached to my hand. ‘What’s the matter?’ he asked, concern in his voice.

  ‘My wardrobe choice has struck again.’ I kicked one foot up, pointing at the slim heel of my sandal, then at the slats of the pier’s floor construction. The narrow pathway had stopped, and some of the were gaps were a definite hazard to thin heels.

  He smirked. ‘I can always carry you.’

  I raised my head, laughing. ‘You most certainly could not! There is no physical way of carrying me that would not be bad. Have you seen the length of this skirt?’

  Alex flicked his gaze down, let it linger there momentarily before bringing it back. ‘Oh, yes.’

  I gave him a gentle whack on the arm with my bag and he laughed. ‘Look, it’s only this bit. There’s a plastic runner further up.’

  I smiled and nodded but inside I felt a bit of an idiot. Apparently, it showed.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Alex said, pulling me aside gently until we were no longer so close to a speaker blaring out the latest summer pop fare.

  ‘Nothing. I just feel a bit of a fool. I mean, I love this dress, and I love these shoes, but frankly, between you having to carry me various places, it’s not exactly the elegant and sophisticated demeanour I had planned to go with for this evening.’

  A gentle breeze was blowing in from offshore and a recalcitrant lock of hair escaped from where I’d put it earlier and now dropped down in front of my face. Before I had a chance to move, Alex was there, gently pushing it back, the side of his hand ever so gently grazing my face as he did so. I couldn’t help but watch those hazel eyes as he concentrated on the task. He slid his gaze to meet mine.

  ‘Elegant and sophisticated can be overrated too, you know. And personally, I am beside myself that you wore that dress. And those shoes. You look amazing. So beautiful. I’ve already had to resist the urge to arrest at least three blokes for leering at you.’

  ‘I doubt they were leering. And besides, I know I’m not a policeman – woman – person – but even I’m pretty sure that’s not a chargeable offence.’

  ‘You might be right.’ He smiled. ‘See? Smart as well.’

  ‘Please don’t tell me you’re the jealous type?’ I was teasing but, in all honesty, I wanted to check.

  He shook his head. ‘No. I’m not. I promise.’

  ‘OK. Good.
’

  ‘That’s not to say I’m thrilled when blokes are blatantly undressing you with their eyes. Call me old-fashioned.’ He shrugged.

  ‘It’s OK. Jealous isn’t good. Slightly protective is rather sweet.’

  He nodded and grinned at me under his lashes.

  ‘What is it with women and sweet?’

  ‘What is with men reacting so badly to it? It’s a compliment. Get over it. Now,’ I said, pointing at the wooden slatted floor, ‘how are we proceeding with this?’

  Alex glanced over, then back at me. ‘OK, hold on.’ He wrapped his arms around me, just under my bum, lifted me quickly and began walking further up the pier. Automatically, I gripped his shoulders and began giggling. Wine really wasn’t my best friend right now.

  ‘I’m sorry. Wine makes me laugh.’

  I could feel his chest rumbling and looked down to see him joining me in the gigglefest. He pulled a face. ‘I’m not sure what my excuse is.’

  I turned my head and leaned back a little. We were already at least ten feet past where the plastic runner started.

  ‘You missed the thingy.’ I waved one hand at the floor. ‘I can do this bit now. You can put me down.’

  I turned back to find Alex looking up at me. ‘Oh, you’re no fun.’

  I raised an eyebrow. ‘I am lots of fun, I’ll have you know.’

  He waggled his eyebrows. ‘Well, that’s good to know.’

  I wriggled. ‘If you don’t put me down, I’m going to call the police.’

  He started laughing again and gripped me a little tighter. ‘And if you don’t stop wriggling, you’re going to end up showing more than you would have getting into the car by yourself.’

  My eyes widened and I stopped wriggling, instead holding myself bolt upright and super still. Alex laughed even more. ‘You don’t have to stop breathing as well!’ He lowered me to the ground gently.

  ‘I am never wearing this dress again,’ I said, and then suddenly realised that Alex hadn’t let go.

  ‘Now, that really would be a shame.’

  He watched me, as if waiting for a sign. Then, he lowered his head, his eyes on me as he did so, his lips softly brushed mine, tentatively, and—

  ‘Sorry, mate!’ the man said, as we both stumbled heavily. One of Alex’s arms tightened around me as the other reached out to a cast-iron support pillar, steadying us from the collision. The man did seem genuinely apologetic, if incredibly drunk. Alex put a hand on my arm as I smoothed my dress and straightened up.

  ‘You all right?’

  ‘Yep.’ I didn’t quite meet his eyes. The moment was gone, knocked out into the darkness of the inky black sea. ‘Come on, let’s see if I can win you a teddy bear.’

  Alex frowned. ‘It’s going back to the old-fashioned thing, I know, but aren’t I supposed to win you one?’

  ‘Ha! You can try! I am, in the words of my nephews, awesome at this.’

  21

  An hour later I had eaten too much candyfloss, shared a churro I didn’t need any of, been deafened by too many beeps, whizzers and other electronic noises, and won the biggest Minion toy on the stall. Alex’s shirt pocket also held a small stuffed animal that neither of us could work out the exact provenance of.

  ‘How are you so good at that?’

  ‘Practise. And, of course, natural talent.’ I thought about doing a bow, remembered the limitations of my dress, and did a little curtsey instead.

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘What are you going to do with this?’

  ‘Me? You won it!’ Alex looked bemused.

  ‘Yes, but I said I’d win it for you.’

  ‘Right. You did.’

  ‘You don’t want it, do you?’ I looked at him, an expression of bravery masking my disappointment.

  ‘No, of course I want it. It’s…’ He stopped when he saw me laughing.

  ‘Oh, that’s so sweet. You should have seen your face!’

  ‘OK. That’s mean!’ he said, grinning and scooping me closer.

  ‘I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist.’

  He gave me that look again. ‘I know the feeling.’

  I tilted my head and pulled the Minion up, forcing us apart, before poking my head around the side of it. ‘Seriously? Can you make use of it?’

  He burst out laughing. ‘Make use of a giant Minion? You’re nuts!’

  ‘You know what I mean. Is there somewhere you know that could use it? I can get my brother to take it to the children’s hospital but I’ve already sent several up there. So, if you knew of somewhere… I was thinking maybe a women’s shelter? I actually have some things I’ve been given for the blog that I can’t use so I’d really like to send those too. If it’s possible. I don’t know if it is, but you know…’

  ‘That sounds like a great idea. I’m sure we can arrange something,’ Alex said. ‘Thank you.’

  I shrugged. ‘It’s nothing. I mean, really! I hate to think of what they’ve been through. And the boys have so many toys. I watch them play and it’s such pure and simple joy…’ I looked up and saw him watching me. ‘Sorry, I’ve gone off on one, haven’t I?’

  ‘It’s all right,’ he said softly. ‘I think I quite like you going off on one. It’s… sweet.’ He grinned, throwing my compliment from earlier back at me.

  We headed back towards the car. The breeze had kicked up now, blowing in off the sea as we walked. Alex took the huge toy off me and stuffed it under his arm. Wrapping his other arm around me, he pulled me closer, just as he had at the barbecue. Once again, I felt the warmth from his body infuse mine. But this time, the heat factor had ratcheted up a notch. We walked in the direction of the car, neither of us in a particular hurry to get there. I was aware of Alex glancing around occasionally.

  ‘Everything all right?’

  He looked down at me, that easy smile on his face. ‘Absolutely.’

  I gave a quick glance, trying to see what he was seeing. ‘Sure?’

  Alex led me to the side of the pavement and I leant against the cast-iron balustrades that separated the promenade from the beach below. ‘Everything’s fine. Sorry, just habit. Situational awareness and all that.’

  ‘That’s understandable,’ I said, ‘although you are forgetting one thing.’

  ‘I am? What’s that?’

  I grabbed the toy from where it was stuffed under his arm and shoved it at him. ‘We have the Minions on our side!’

  Having regained his balance after the surprise attack by an oversized soft toy, Alex, still laughing, took it back off me and spent a minute juggling it.

  ‘What are you doing?’

  He shook his head. ‘I don’t want to put it down on a grubby pavement so I’m trying to find a position with this bloody thing that lets me do what I want to do right now.’

  I frowned, watching him. ‘Which is?’

  He didn’t answer immediately but instead leant past me and wedged the toy between two parts of the balustrade’s intricate design. Stepping back, he slid his arms around me and pulled me close.

  ‘This,’ he said.

  One hand rested low on the small of my back whilst the other was around my waist, tight enough to make me feel wanted and loose enough for me to pull away if I chose to. I lifted my face to his. It was shadowed a little by the angle of the streetlights but I could see enough. That smile was in place, but there was something behind it now. Something more raw and immediate.

  ‘I’d really like to kiss you,’ he whispered, as he dipped his head and brushed his lips against my hair. ‘In fact, I’ve been wanting to kiss you since about ten minutes into meeting you at the barbecue. But I thought that might be a little forward.’

  ‘Just a little.’ I smiled, pulling back so that I could see his eyes focus on mine. His gaze dropped to my lips before coming back to meet my own. ‘But I think now might be OK.’ The smile spread as Alex moved and I reached up to meet him. His kiss was gentle and soft, as he pulled me closer. My arms had been resting on his biceps, but as we kissed I
slid my hands up and let them meet behind his neck.

  Slowly we pulled away. His gaze held mine before I dropped it and smiled, suddenly feeling a little awkward that I was standing in the middle of the street, kissing a man I’d not actually known for very long.

  ‘What?’ Alex smiled.

  ‘Nothing.’ I shook my head, flashing him a smile as I tried to yank the Minion from the railings. ‘Bloody hell, did you glue this thing in here?’

  ‘Here.’ He gave it a twist and a pull and the toy came out. Tucking it back under one arm, he held out his other hand for me to take. ‘Didn’t have you down as the shy type.’ He grinned.

  ‘Pardon?’

  ‘You got all shy back there. I didn’t have you pegged as that. From what I’ve heard, you’re pretty outgoing. So, I can only conclude I’m not as good at kissing as I thought I might be.’

  I shook my head without looking at him. ‘Stop fishing.’ I laughed. ‘I’m just… I haven’t been out with anyone for a while. I guess I just felt a bit…’

  ‘Out of practise?’ Alex supplied.

  ‘Yes! Oh, God, did it show? It did, didn’t it?’ I let go of his hand and put both of mine across my face. ‘I’m so embarrassed,’ I mumbled through my hands.

  ‘Don’t be.’ Alex’s voice was soft and husky in my ear as he pulled me to him with his free arm. ‘There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I was just taking a guess from what you said earlier, and what Charlie said about you not having dated for a while.’

  I dropped my hands. ‘Charlie told you that?’

  He nodded.

  ‘Great,’ I said, raising an eyebrow. ‘Talk about sounding like a pity date! That’s the last time I tell him anything.’

  ‘He didn’t mean it like that. It was more aimed at me.’ He cocked an eyebrow. ‘Charlie’s way of telling me to behave myself.’

  I considered him for a moment. ‘Is that true?’

  He pulled a face. ‘He’s kind of protective about you, it would seem.’