No Filter

by Maxine Morrey

  ‘You know you’re going to have to move whatever decision you make.’

  ‘I know.’ I let out a sigh, but still made no effort to move.

  ‘You can come back and sit in that exact position.’

  ‘It won’t be the same.’

  ‘Come on, Goldilocks.’ Charlie leant down and scooted his hands underneath my arms, then lifted me out of the sofa and stood me up.

  ‘That’s cheating.’

  ‘I want my wine.’

  ‘I said I’d get a cab.’

  ‘And I said I’d drive you. So, come on.’ He took my hand and led me down the stairs to where we’d both kicked off our shoes earlier.

  ‘So, what’s the plan?’ Charlie asked as he pulled up outside the flats. ‘Am I waiting now or what?’

  I’d opened the door and had one leg out.

  ‘I—’

  ‘Well, don’t you just keep getting better and better?’ Rula’s husky voice drifted in as she stopped by my open door and bent to look in at Charlie, running her hand sensually over the paintwork of his Aston as she did so. I squashed myself back in my seat to avoid losing an eye. The low-cut sundress was apparently the only piece of clothing being pressed into service right now. A wrap dangled from her hand but she made no move to put it on. Bearing in mind the cooler night air, it might have been a good option. Or not. Depending on who you spoke to. Either way, it was pretty clear that Charlie was being treated to the full spectacle.

  ‘Evening,’ he said.

  ‘Isn’t this beautiful?’ she said, drawing her hand over the car again.

  ‘Thank you. I like it.’

  Rula threw me a look. Friendly. Assessing. Trying to work out whether I was sleeping with Charlie. I was pretty sure she came up with a negative answer because she carried on flirting for another few minutes, with me feeling very much the third wheel and unable to do anything about it as she leaned across me and batted her false eyelashes at Charlie. Every time she laughed, she threw her head back and I got a mouthful of hair whilst Charlie got a full eyeful of her cleavage standing to attention.

  ‘We’d better get going,’ Charlie said, at the first opportunity that didn’t feel like an immediate brush-off.

  Rula gave one last rake of her eyes over his body. ‘Shame. But you know where I am.’

  ‘Um hmm.’ Charlie smiled brightly, and I stifled a laugh.

  Rula stood and smoothed down her dress as I exited the car. Charlie stepped out the other side and the doors locked.

  ‘Have a good evening,’ I called as she turned to go.

  She flicked her gaze between us. ‘And you. Oh, by the way, there’s no hot water in our block. They’re supposed to be sending someone out tomorrow. Apparently.’ She gave a wave of her hand as if to say she would believe that when she saw it, which was sometimes the case in these circumstances.

  ‘Great,’ I said.

  ‘There’s your decision, then. Grab your stuff and you can come back to my place and I don’t have to detour in the morning.’

  I chewed my lip and looked at him.

  ‘There’s lots of lovely hot water at my place…’ he said, and began to mime taking a shower, with the sort of enjoyment noises you heard on shampoo commercials.

  I nudged him. ‘You twit. And if Rula hears you making those noises, she’ll have you up against that wall before you know what’s happening. And don’t expect me to come to your rescue.’

  Charlie glanced at the wall.

  ‘You wouldn’t leave me to her mercy.’

  ‘I don’t think she shows her men any mercy.’

  Charlie took a deep breath.

  ‘Oh, stop it. You love it.’ I laughed.

  His eyebrows shot up. ‘What?’

  ‘I saw you. You’re getting quite the dab hand at flirting.’

  ‘I wasn’t flirting! I was talking. She’s attractive, yes. But I’d like to live to see another day.’

  ‘OK. I’ll be sure to tell her you’ve no stamina the next time I see her. That should put her off. For a while at least.’

  ‘I’ve plenty of stamina, thank you very much.’

  I reached up and patted his cheek. ‘There, there. No need to be touchy. Of course, you do.’

  Charlie caught my hand. ‘I’m thinking of withdrawing the hot-water offer.’

  ‘Yes, but you won’t, because you’re lovely.’ I winked at him.

  He dropped my hand. ‘Get your stuff quickly before I stop being lovely and consign you to a freezing shower.’

  ‘I’m going!’

  I scooted up the stairs and along to my flat, Charlie following behind, keeping up at a leisurely pace compared to my hurried one. Whizzing round, I grabbed a change of clothes, my PJs and travel washbag, along with my make-up and a hairbrush. I threw it all into a large tote and topped it off with a bottle of sun cream, and a wide-brimmed fabric hat that I could squash in on the top.

  ‘Ready!’

  ‘Blimey, that was quick.’

  ‘There’s wine waiting for me. And hot water.’

  ‘There is indeed.’

  Charlie stepped out and I turned and locked the door. He bent and took the bag off me then stood aside, allowing me to go first down the steps. We got to the car and he opened the passenger door. I slid in and waited whilst he popped the boot and laid my bag inside. A minute later he was in and belted and we were heading back to the land where wine waited and hot water flowed.

  33

  ‘You need a hat. I’ve just looked at the expected temperatures today.’

  ‘Yes, Mum,’ Charlie said, snagging a peaked cap off a coat hook.

  I gave him a look.

  ‘Do we need to stop and get anything? Water, snacks?’

  ‘Nope. Maria is a machine when it comes to things like this. It’s great. I just pick them up and go. There’ll even be first-aid supplies in there.’

  ‘Reassuring bearing in mind you’re coming.’

  ‘Oi. You shut that damn window in the first place! So technically, that was your fault.’

  ‘I thought it might be.’

  ‘I’m glad you agree.’

  ‘I didn’t say I agreed.’

  ‘Look, if you don’t behave I won’t take you to Legoland.’

  Charlie stared at me and then his face crumpled. He put his hands up to cover it.

  I stared, open-mouthed, for a second until I saw his shoulders shaking. He looked up, his blue eyes shining with tears – of laughter!

  ‘You should have seen your face!’

  ‘You’re such an arse,’ I stated. ‘I used to think you were this serious, intelligent man but in reality, you’re just an arse.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘You’re welcome,’ I said, getting in the car and pulling the door closed behind me.

  Charlie slid in the other side. He glanced across at me, a smirk on his face. I stuck my tongue out at him, but I couldn’t stop the grin that arrived at the same time. He laughed and squeezed my knee, then blipped the throttle on and set off.

  ‘Charlie!’ the boys chorused as they rushed out, pushing past Matt and Maria, both of whom were still in their dressing gowns, for which I had a moment of jealousy. Charlie scooped up the boys as they ran towards him, one in each arm. They giggled and Niall wrapped his hands around Charlie’s neck whilst Liam rested an arm across his shoulder, enjoying the much higher viewpoint than he normally experienced.

  ‘Auntie Libby!’ they called, as Charlie brought them back towards the house.

  ‘Oh. You noticed me, did you?’ I said, teasing as they both leaned out to give me a kiss.

  ‘Is Charlie spending the day with us?’

  ‘Please?’

  ‘It’s amazing what a snazzy car can do. Busty women, small boys. They all love it,’ I said to Maria as Matt and Charlie began chatting.

  ‘Busty women?’ Maria repeated, raising an eyebrow.

  ‘Oh, you wouldn’t believe the half of it!’

  She cast a glance over Charlie, who was now
happily laughing with my brother. ‘Oh, I don’t know. I might.’ She laughed.

  ‘I’m not sure having him for a mate is all that good for my ego, you know.’

  ‘Maybe you should change that, then.’

  I looked at her. ‘I don’t think I could. Not out of choice. I can hardly remember what it was like to not have Charlie as part of my life. And I don’t really want to.’

  ‘That wasn’t exactly what I meant.’ She gave me a minute.

  ‘Ohhhhh! Oh, no. No, definitely not.’

  ‘Why not? What’s wrong with him?’

  ‘Nothing! Nothing at all.’

  ‘OK. Then what’s wrong with you?’

  I rolled my eyes at her for lack of something better to say.

  ‘That’s not an answer, Libs. He’s funny, kind, stable, straight and stomach-meltingly gorgeous. So, I ask again. What’s wrong with you?’

  ‘It’s just not like that between us. We’re friends. We’re kind of… beyond all that. It’d be weird.’

  Maria fixed me with a look. ‘Weird is not what I think it would be. And I don’t think you do either.’

  ‘Time to go!’ I said, deciding this conversation was probably best ended.

  ‘Where are we going?’ The boys were now on the ground but jumping around, repeating the question.

  Matt turned and looked at me. ‘I didn’t say anything.’

  Charlie crooked a finger at me and beckoned me over.

  ‘Hold out your hand,’ he said, sandwiching mine within his own. I felt him pass me something and I curled my hand around it instinctively. I looked up and he gave a quick eyebrow raise and smiled.

  ‘Where are we going?’ the boys asked again.

  Charlie nodded at me and I uncurled my hand in front of them. Sitting in my palm was a little Lego man.

  The boys stared at it for a moment.

  ‘Legoland?’ they whispered together, not quite believing it.

  I nodded.

  Two minutes later we had bundled them in the car, having had a mad moment of corralling as their excitement threatened to wake the entire street. I took a rucksack from Maria with all the requisite supplies enclosed. Charlie took it straight off me and slung it in the boot.

  ‘Where did the Lego man come from at such short notice?’

  ‘That Happy Meal you mentioned me inhaling a while back.’ He smiled and shut the boot.

  ‘You sure about this?’ Matt asked, as the boys continued to bounce about inside, restrained by their seat belts.

  ‘What? Taking three children to Legoland?’ I said, catching Charlie in my glance.

  He grinned.

  ‘It’ll be fine,’ he reassured Matt.

  ‘Thanks for doing this, and the tickets,’ my brother said.

  ‘My pleasure.’

  ‘Seriously. We’re actually doing him a massive favour,’ I said.

  ‘Are you coming?’

  ‘Do I have a choice?’

  Charlie gave me a patient look.

  ‘See you later!’ I said, giving Matt and Maria a quick hug each. ‘I’ll keep you posted by text.’

  ‘Have a great time!’ They waved and we all replied in kind.

  Nine hours later and the atmosphere in the car was very different from what it had been first thing this morning. Mellow was one word. Knackered was another. The boys had been asleep in the back seat before we’d even left the car park and I felt as though I could easily join them.

  ‘Thanks for a great day,’ I said, covering Charlie’s hand for a moment as it rested on the centre console.

  He flicked his glance briefly to me before returning it to the road. ‘You’re very welcome.’ He turned his hand and squeezed mine. ‘Thanks for letting me come along.’

  ‘They were your tickets!’ I laughed. Our voices were soft in deference to the children sleeping but, if I was honest, they’d had such a busy, exciting day, if we’d been talking with bull horns I still don’t think they’d have stirred.

  ‘Yes. But it wouldn’t have been much fun on my own. I always have fun with you. And the boys seemed to really enjoy it.’

  ‘I’ll never hear the end of it now. It’ll be Charlie this, and Charlie that. Your presence will be requested on every trip now. You do realise that.’

  He gave my hand another squeeze but didn’t answer. In the back seat, Niall stirred. I turned in my seat, letting go of Charlie’s hand and reached down, picking up the cuddly toy Lego man we’d bought him earlier, who had now taken a dive to the floor. I wiggled again and leant back, tucking him close to Niall. Without waking, a little arm moved and snagged the toy, squashing him close. I watched for a moment, then turned back in my seat.

  ‘They all right?’ Charlie asked.

  I nodded.

  We handed the children over, still sleeping, to their parents and Charlie drove me home.

  ‘Do you want to check and see if the hot water’s back on? You’re more than welcome to stay with me until it is.’

  ‘I’m sure it will be.’

  Charlie didn’t seem all that thrilled with this gung-ho attitude, which for someone like him was probably a little too reckless in its approach.

  ‘Why don’t you check?’

  ‘Charlie. You have to go to work tomorrow. And I’m not getting up at silly o’clock with you to get your train so that you can lock up.’

  ‘I’d give you a key, you daft woman. I’d hardly turn you out of my bed – house! House! I meant house!’ We were at the outer rim of a puddle of street light but even in the low light, I could see Charlie blush.

  ‘You’re definitely tired.’

  ‘I am. I’m shattered. But I did have a great time. Yesterday and today.’

  ‘Me too. It was fun.’

  ‘You going to check that water situation?’

  ‘Nope. I’m going to risk it.’

  ‘That’s not what I’d advise, you know. And this is my field of expertise.’

  ‘Hot-water situations.’

  He laughed. ‘You’d be surprised.’

  I reached up and gave him a big hug. ‘It’ll be fine, but I appreciate the advice and offer.’

  Charlie hugged me back. I loved Charlie’s hugs. He had a way of wrapping you up that made you feel as if you could stay there forever. Some people had a knack for great hugs. He was definitely one of those people.

  ‘I love your hugs,’ I said, and then looked up, surprised. ‘Sorry. That wasn’t meant to come out aloud.’

  ‘That’s all right. Good to know I’m doing something right.’

  ‘Definitely.’

  He laughed and swooped in for another. ‘Now, come on. If you’re insisting on staying here.’

  ‘You don’t have to walk me up every time, you know. It’s quite safe.’

  ‘I’m sure it is, but it makes me feel better if I do.’

  ‘You’re going to make someone a lovely boyfriend one day.’ Maybe he could give Alex a few lessons in that area…

  ‘Err, thank you. You do realise I heard that, don’t you?’

  ‘Yes, that one was meant for you to hear. But I’m going to stop thinking now, just in case anything unexpected comes out.’

  ‘Possibly a good move.’

  I did a thumbs up in place of speaking because there was a thought catapulting around my brain that had started off as a slow burn this morning. And if I was truly honest, it had been there for a while. I didn’t know exactly when it had started, or where it had come from. Or what to do with it, now that it was there.

  34

  It was slightly strange seeing Charlie in his natural habitat of work. And, although I had no idea how this part of his world worked exactly, it was obvious to anyone that whatever it was he did, he was damn good at it. And he knew it. There was no arrogance. Just a quiet, assured, rather sexy confidence. Charlie finished his presentation and took a seat. I’d got the general gist of things but there were times he could have been speaking Venusian, for all I knew.

  I’d taken those times t
o surreptitiously study the others in the room – most notably two women who were part of the team he’d apparently been having meetings with in New York. And, whatever their legitimate reason for being here, one of them most definitely had an extra line on her agenda, which was to lust over Charlie Richmond. I hadn’t worked out whether he’d sussed this yet. Probably not, knowing Charlie. But certainly everyone else in the room had. I’d seen the look the two women exchanged when Charlie’s eyes lowered to take a sip of water, and it didn’t exactly say, ‘Gosh, that was a thrilling presentation.’ It was more, ‘Him. Me. Stationery cupboard. Now.’

  I pretended not to see and carried on watching the view from the window. Pleasure boats travelling up and down the Thames full of tourists, a police patrol boat and, closer to the building, HMS Belfast anchored, stalwart and steady. I didn’t want to watch the woman smiling at him, laughing at a joke he made over something in his presentation – a joke that had gone completely over my head. I’d seen the women glance my way as they laughed. I’d smiled but they knew I hadn’t understood. Flicking my glance to Charlie, I received the same reaction. His didn’t have the same patronising look accompanying it but I felt awkward all the same. I gave a quick, tight smile before returning my gaze to the view as I tried to quell the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.

  I knew what the ache inside me was. Denial can only take you so far. Eventually everything will bust out, forcing you to see things as they really are. It had been happening for a while now but every time those feelings tried to bob to the top, I’d squelched them back down. But I knew things were changing. Those feelings were becoming harder and harder to contain. Driving home from Windsor, the two boys sleeping peacefully in the back as the car hummed along quietly, all of us cocooned in the warm, intimate space, I’d known. If I allowed myself to admit it, I’d known for a while. I was in love with Charlie Richmond.

  I hadn’t meant to fall for him. In fact, the more I knew of him, the more I’d known this would be a Bad Thing. I loved Charlie – as a friend. There was no way I wanted to lose that. As I’d told Marie, the thought of not having him in my life was just… I didn’t even want to imagine it.