Fifty Shades Nastier

by Lardyard Hampoon

  Finally, I was able to work the sock gag loose. I grabbed his head with my ankles and forced it down to my lower lady lips.

  "You made a mess, Master Green. Now clean it up!"

  Unitarian fought me for a few moments, then succumbed. He lapped at my fem funnel with a determined tongue. Finally, he fell in a spent, sweaty heap onto my stomach. Exhausted, the two of us fell quickly to sleep.

  It must have been at least an hour before I awoke. Naked and damp, I was cold and shivering. I could hear Kath in the other room. Quietly, I called Unitarians name. No reaction. I jostled him gently with my legs. Still no response. I stuck my big toe in his ear and wiggled it.

  "I don't think I've ever been awakened quite like this before." Unitarian yawned.

  "My arms have gone numb,” I whispered.

  Unitarian gently unfastened my wrists. Prickles ran up and down my arms as the blood began to flow.

  "Sorry about that. But, you know, if things had gone according to my plan, this would never have happened. You must allow things to go according to my plan, Nasty."

  "But, you’re so bossy in bed. Always telling me what to do."

  "That's the point!"

  "What do you mean?"

  "That's the game that I play. I'm the dominant. You're the submissive. You do as I say."

  "But, that’s stupid."

  "I'm sure you wouldn't say that if you gave it a try."

  "Didn't you enjoy tonight, Unitarian?"

  "Yes. Of course I did."

  "Then why do we have to play that stupid dominance game of yours? Aren't you a little old to be playing games?"

  "But, it's what I do, Nasty."

  "Can't we compromise?"

  "I am the ruler of the corporate world, Nasty. I don't compromise. By the way, we need to make an appointment to get you another waxing."

  Unitarian pulled on his clothes, kissed me on my cheek and left.

  "I am the ruler of the corporate world," I mimicked. Oh give me a break. I threw my pillow at my bedroom door.

  From the kitchen I heard Kath yelling, "Where's the spatula?"

  Chapter 14

  In about an hour I started receiving texts from Unit.

  I don’t know what it is

  about you. I wouldn’t take

  your behavior from any

  other woman.

  Maybe it’s because I’m the first woman you didn’t get from Craig’s list.

  You don’t have to be so

  nasty, Nasty.

  You think I got my nickname because it’s short for Anastasia? Think again!

  Oh. Why didn’t they just

  call you bitchy?

  It was taken. Do you have a point?

  Yes. I’ve tried things your way,

  though not exactly voluntarily.

  Now, it’s time for you to try

  things my way.

  Crap! He had a point. I hate when people use logic against me. I’m a sucker for logic.

  O.K. Your way next time. But, no gags!

  You win. No gags.

  Promise?

  I promise. The only way you’ll

  be gagged is by my giant cock

  in your mouth.

  And will you elongate my nipples?

  Oh, yes. Definitely.

  With your fingers, not some damn clamps?

  There you go ruining

  my fun, Nasty. Allow

  me to plan our

  escapades.I promise you

  wont’ be disappointed.

  Sexcapades.

  Time to end these

  textcapades. You need

  your sleep. You’re

  graduating tomorrow.

  Only if you hand me my diploma.

  Oh, I’ll hand you

  your diploma.

  Goodnight. If I get any calls, I’ll be thinking of you.

  ?

  J

  Why did that whole diploma thing feel like a threat? Maybe I was just too tired. I tried the egg beater on my nipples. Definitely too many moving parts. I put my phone on vibrate, threw in in a plastic bag, shoved it up my twat and rolled over for a good night’s rest…after dialing my cell number a few times from the landline.

  Chapter 15

  Graduation day! I had been waiting for this for six years. Finally I’d be able to go out in the workforce and put my triple major in Women’s Studies, 18th Century Russian Literature, and Water Divining to work. I wondered what kind of job I should apply to first. Maybe an assistant midwife? No time to ruminate on this now, I had to get dressed for the graduation ceremony.

  Let’s see. I needed to put on underwear in case I tripped on the stage and landed spread eagle facing the audience. Hiking boots would definitely lower the possibility of tripping. My peasant skirts would increase the possibility of tripping. But, what to wear if not a peasant skirt?

  I rummaged through the outfits Unit had sent over the other day. There was a nice pair of leather tights. If I tripped, the leather would save me from brush burns. Then it dawned on me: That’s probably what the leather mask was for – to save me from beard burns. I had been wondering about that thing.

  Did I need to wear anything on top? I was going to be in my graduation gown after all. Then I noticed Unit’s tie. He left it on the floor amongst the kitchen gadgets. That gave me a brilliant idea.

  It took awhile to get my cap on just right. Stupid things. Why had every single thing in the world evolved into something better except graduation headwear and silver dental fillings? I was thinking about fillings because Unit had sucked one of mine out of my tooth in Miami and I hadn’t yet had a chance to have it replaced. I smiled. If he knew there was an extra orifice in my head, he’d probably want to fuck it. Bless him and his fucking.

  I hopped in my vintage VW bus and headed for the ceremony. I rolled it down the hill to start it. Kath had been drinking last night and I didn’t want to wake her with the big banging and cranking sounds the bus made. It was a noisy, rusty old bucket of bolts, but I loved it.

  It made me feel like an honest-to-God hippie. Or at least like Thelma in Scooby Doo. I was born too late. I belonged in the seventies. Or maybe in the eighties. But, definitely not in the twenty first century. Nobody from Ithaca really belonged in this century.

  It was going to be a long ceremony. Waiting to find out whatever trick Unit had up his sleeve was going to make me crazy. But, I had a few tricks to pull myself.

  The valedictorian was Bambi Rizzo. So, those rumors I’d heard about her sleeping with her professors must have been true. No way that ditz could have made it to the top of the class on her academic achievements.

  Bambi’s speech was about working hard and doing what needed to be done to succeed – no matter what obstacles life threw in your way. There was a lot of innuendo and subtext going on there. Maybe Bambi wasn’t quite as ditzy as she had appeared. It seemed to me like she was indicating her professors should consider inflating her bank account as well as her grades. I looked to see which professors on stage were squirming the most when she talked about turning even the smallest obstacle into a big stepping stone. Hah! O’Brien and Flaherty were flushing. Guess it must be true what they say about the Irish.

  I never understood the Irish. Like that ugly leprechaun with small-man syndrome that Notre Dame used as a mascot. If the Irish had any sense, they’d realize it was offensive. Or were they proud of being short, drunken brawlers with tiny dicks? I could never figure it out.

  After what seemed like forever, Unit started handing out diplomas. I still had to wait quite a while. “Lime” was smack dab in the middle of the graduating group. I was always in the middle. Why did everything always have to be alphabetized by last name? Why not use first names once in a while?

  Finally, it was my turn to take the stage. The hiking boots did the trick. I felt sure-footed as I walked across the platform. A good thing, too. Unit was sliding my scrolled up diploma in his palm like he was jerking it off. The devilish look in his green
eyes told me he was oh-so-pleased with himself. I began unzipping my gown as I walked. All I was wearing under it was his signature tie. I think he swallowed his tongue.

  Better yet, when I shook his hand as he gave me my diploma, I slipped him back the sock he used to gag me the night before. It was still damp. I smiled and whispered, “I believe this is yours.”

  Unit was in a bit of a bind. He had a wet sock in his palm and a long line of graduates he still had to shake hands with. I was pretty sure the ceremonial gown he was wearing had no pockets. I was in my glory.

  After the ceremony, I was hanging with my friends, Hoseme, Bart, Steve, Mumjar, and Brick. Unit came over and stared the boys down ‘til they left in a nervous burst.

  “I see I’m not the only one who looks good in green.” Unit murmured as he zipped my gown back up so his green tie and the sides of my titties could not be seen.

  “But, I think you look best in Lime, Master Green.” Crap! I can’t believe I said that. I flushed and Unit gave me a wry smile.

  “I told you that you can’t have relationships with other males. What were those boys doing with you?”

  “We were talking. That’s all. I can’t completely ignore my friends.”

  “I feel I have to keep my eye on you every minute, Ms. Lime.”

  “I’d prefer a body part other than your eye, Master Green.”

  “That can be arranged. Are you free right now? I’d like to give you your graduation gift.”

  “You can give it to me several times. I have all night. Just don’t gag me or tie me up.”

  “What’s the fun in that?” He raised an eyebrow.

  “Why don’t we find out?” I raised an eyebrow as we both cocked our heads and gave each other wry smiles. Crap! I can’t believe I could be so forward. I flushed in shame while my inner slut pulled my zipper down on my gown again.

  As we made our way through the crowd, it seemed like we were heading toward a handsomely restored school bus. It was a duplicate of the Partridge Family bus, painted with the same Mondrian style graphics. Funny that I’d never run into that bus on campus before. I was sure I’d have noticed it if I’d seen it. As we drew closer, I saw that Michael Caine was in the driver’s seat! He opened the door and called out.

  “I hope you enjoy your new van, mum.”

  “This is for me?!”

  “Yes, it’s your graduation present. I can’t have you driving that deathtrap you rattle around in. It’s a sorry excuse for a vehicle. I rather doubt it would pass its next inspection.” Unit gave me a wry smile.

  “But, I love my car!”

  “And you don’t love this?”

  How to answer? I did love this. While part of me would miss the hippie mystique that came with driving a rundown vehicle, I could pretend I was Julie Partridge while I was driving this. Julie! The Julie that went on to fuck every man she met in L.A. Law. I wondered if I could get a vanity plate that said “L.A.Law?” Vanity plates were sooo not me, but in this case…

  “I do love this. But, it’s too much. I can’t accept an exact replica of the Partridge Family van!”

  “Replica?” Unit raised an eyebrow. “I thought you knew me better than that, Ms. Lime. This is the Partridge Family bus. Mr. Caine spent all morning washing Mr. Cassidy’s love juice off the ceiling.”

  “Really, it’s too much!”

  “I insist, Ms. Lime. For your own safety as well as enjoyment. We had air bags retrofitted.”

  “Well…okay. Just as long as you don’t think you can gag me just because you got me such a nice graduation gift.”

  “Why, that’s not why I think I can gag you, Ms. Lime.” Unit cocked his head and gave me a wry smile.

  Crap! Was he still going to try to gag me? I wasn’t sure if the squirmy shiver running through my body was fear or excitement. However, my inner stripper was definitely imagining using Unit’s unit as her dancing pole.

  “Have you looked at your diploma, Ms. Lime?”

  Oh, no. I hadn’t. Did Unit substitute a degree in sex education for my real degree? If he had, I’d certainly earned it. I unscrolled the diploma.

  “How…?”

  “I have friends in powerful places, Ms. Lime.”

  “Is it legitimate?”

  “Of course.”

  Unit had somehow managed to get me a doctorate rather than a bachelor’s. This opened up so many opportunities. I could teach at the university! I imagined myself with dozens of women students chained to a cosmetic company’s animal research lab in protest as we chanted slogans phrased in the 18th Century Russian style. With any luck, one of the students would go into labor and I could deliver the baby…naturally…while chained to the lab…washing in water I divined.

  Chapter 16

  Caine drove what he insisted on calling my “van” to a private airstrip. Unit handed me some type of fancy flight suit. Not my style at all.

  “Put this on.” Unit demanded. He was such a demanding person!

  “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  Unit gave me that dark, dark scowl that signaled I was being disobedient.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me, Master.” I made a conscious effort not to roll my eyes.

  “You do as I say, Ms. Lime. That’s part of your contract.”

  “This is sooo not me. What is it made of, Lycra? Spandex?”

  “It is a special flight suit for the special flight we are taking. It is essential for your safety. Now, don this safety gear without questioning me again.”

  I wanted to grouse, but I did not. I thought he was way out of line trying to get around our agreement by calling this outfit “safety gear.” It was obviously not made of natural fiber. What was it with Unit and his transportation toys anyway?

  I looked totally ridiculous in the skin-tight, bright yellow jumpsuit, but Unit seemed pleased. (He didn’t look any less ridiculous in his bright green jumpsuit, but I felt it best not to mention that.)

  “Ms. Lime, I am about to give you the final part of your graduation gift.”

  “I had hoped the final part of my gift would involve taking clothes off, not putting them on.” I cocked my head and smiled a wry smile.

  “When I have you take your clothes off, Ms. Lime, it is not a gift to you, but a service to me. I thought you understood the contents of your contract.”

  “I understand the contents of my heart, Master Green, and it feels more like a gift to me than a service to you.”

  “We’ll work on changing that, Ms. Lime.”

  Crap. Double crap! What was I getting myself into with this sexy, long-fingered tiger? I didn’t have time to think about it as he was soon strapping my back to his stomach.

  “How are we going to have any kind of fun strapped in this configuration, Master Green?” Really, I didn’t see how this would work. Our parts weren’t lined up even remotely near enough to each other.

  “It’s a different kind of fun. You’ll see.”

  My feet couldn’t touch the ground when Unit stood upright. So, he simply strode toward the plane with me dangling from his chest. I never thought he’d be able to climb aboard with us strapped together, but he managed it with amazing grace. Especially considering something unwieldy seemed to be strapped to his back. From my vantage point, I could not see it. But I sensed it from Unit’s movements and from the shadow it cast.

  I figured it was a parachute. I tried to get myself mentally prepared to jump out of the plane at some point, but I could not. The only thing I could do to make the next hour tolerable was to block the thought of jumping from my mind. Instead, I mentally pictured myself sucking Unit’s pogo stick dry. I immersed myself in that fantasy so completely, all my blood started rushing down there.

  I was aroused from my fantasy by Unit telling me to remain calm.

  “Just relax and go with the flow, Ms. Lime. I’ll do all the work.” It seemed fair since I’d just been doing all the work in my fantasy.

  As Unit hauled us out onto the side of the plane, I noticed M
r. Caine was our pilot. We seemed to be near the outskirts of Seattle, still way too far over the water to parachute. I began to tense with fear.

  “Don’t worry, Ms. Lime, you’re in good hands. Just stay still and go with the flow. Try to remain rigid and DON’T FLAIL.”

  Oh great, now I was worried I’d flail.

  I was looking across the top of the plane wondering what our next move would be when Unit seemed to lean back and fall off the plane! We were tumbling heels over head! Then, I heard the sound of a jet engine in my ears. Holy crap! We level off and are flying! I see our shadow on the water. It looks like Unit has a jet wing strapped to his back.

  In just minutes we are circling over Unit’s building. The engine cuts and we begin to fall. Then, there’s a yank on my straps and we slow to a gentle float. Soon, Unit is jogging on the roof of his building. He leans down and unstraps me.

  “Wow, that was fabulous!”

  Unit reaches over and twists my nipple. The pain mixes with pleasure as I remember my role.

  “Wow. That was fabulous, Master Green.”

  “I’m glad it worked out as nicely as it did. I was worried you might flail.”

  “And if I did”

  “That could have sent us plummeting. Don’t worry. I had a backup plan and a failsafe.”

  “And what were those…Master Green?”

  “I would have choked you unconscious. If that didn’t work, I have a syringe filled with a powerful, fast-acting sedative.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t have to use the sedative. After that adrenaline rush, I’m stoked for whatever you have in mind for me tonight.”

  “Excellent, Ms. Lime. I thought we’d start up here.”

  Up here? Where I didn’t have to worry about his little torture chamber? I was all for that. I started stripping off my confining flight suit, though it was going to be slow going. It was so tight! Unit drew me to him, forcing his tongue playfully down my throat.