Rebel Heart

by Penelope Ward

  Still staring at the baby in awe, I whispered, “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here, Gia. I did everything I could to get here once I got your message. I’d gone into a store without my phone, and there was traffic and—”

  “It’s okay. You probably couldn’t have made it anyway. It happened so fast. Ten minutes after I got here, she came out. Everything turned out okay. She’s here.”

  I swallowed. “She?”

  She smiled, and her voice was hoarse. “Yes, we have a daughter.”

  That took a few seconds to sink in.

  “A daughter?”

  “Yes.” Gia was beaming.

  Caressing her little face with my thumb, I watched in awe as Gia tried to get the baby to latch onto her breast. “How could I have been so wrong?” I laughed as I lowered myself down to kiss her head again, taking in her scent. She smelled so sweet—she smelled like Gia. I loved her so much already that my heart was literally hurting from the feeling.

  As we sat there in silence, fear started to fill me. This was gonna be a long eighteen years. Let’s face it…more than that—a lifetime. All of the visions of doing manly things with my son went out the window. What did I know about having a girl? Nothing. All I knew was that I already loved her more than life itself. That would have to be enough until I could figure this out.

  A doctor suddenly walked in. “Hello! Congratulations. Just checking in.” He turned to me. “I’m Dr. Barnes. You are?”

  I looked him dead in the eyes and answered, “Fucked. I have a daughter. I’m fucked.”

  It had only been one day, but it already felt like we’d had her forever, like I couldn’t imagine a time without her.

  We still hadn’t named our little girl. We had a ton of boy names picked out but nothing for a girl, so we needed to really think on it.

  Rush had just come in with lunch from the Mexican place down the street. The baby was sleeping next to me in the little hospital crib after her last feeding. My dad had just left. It was the perfect window to grab a bite to eat before someone came in to check my vitals or the baby woke up to nurse.

  Just as I’d unwrapped my burrito, an unexpected visitor appeared in the doorway.

  Rush’s mouth was full when he wiped his hands. He looked shocked when he said, “Edward…”

  He nodded. “Heathcliff.”

  Edward was overdressed, wearing a long, wool overcoat.

  Rush stood up and moved in front of the crib. It seemed like he was instinctively protecting our daughter. “What are you doing here?”

  “Lauren told me where to find you. I came to see my granddaughter…and to talk to you.”

  It was surprising to see Edward here, not only because of his relationship with Rush, but because of his health. He must have had a driver waiting right outside to take him immediately back home.

  Edward looked down at the sleeping baby. “She’s beautiful like her mother.”

  I swallowed, not knowing how to respond. “Thank you.”

  He looked at Rush. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”

  “No. Anything you have to say, you can say in front of Gia.”

  “Okay.” Edward slowly sat down. “Something has been weighing on me for months.”

  Rush took a seat and sucked in his jaw. “Alright…”

  “When you came to my hospital room with Elliott, to propose your agreement, I said some things that I need to explain, namely that getting your mother pregnant was the biggest regret of my life, that you were a burden.”

  “Yeah…I definitely heard it all the first time. You don’t need to rehash.”

  My heart was breaking for Rush. That bastard. I never knew he’d said all that. Why did he even come here?

  Edward looked like he was struggling with his words. “I need you to know that I didn’t mean a word of it. I knew what was needed to get Elliott to sign to your agreement. He needed my approval, as he does with every decision he makes. I knew if I didn’t choose my words wisely, that he might never give you the freedom you needed. So I lied and said those things to convince him to give you what you wanted, to sway things in your favor. It was the least I could do for you.”

  Rush stayed silent while Edward went on.

  “I heard a lot of the things you said to me when I was in the hospital. I couldn’t open my eyes or speak, but that didn’t mean everything you said and did went unnoticed. Although I don’t understand why you felt the need to be there when my behavior toward you over the years has been less than admirable, I want you to know how thankful I am for that and how proud I am of the man that you’ve become, even though I never say it.” Edward let out a shaky breath. “You are not my biggest regret. My biggest regret is that I never knew how to be a father to you. That’s something I can’t ever change and something I will regret until the end of my days.”

  There was a long moment of silence.

  Rush, who hadn’t been looking at Edward, finally turned to him. “Okay. Is that all you came to say?”

  “No.” He stood up slowly. “I’ve created a trust for your daughter. It will contain a significant inheritance when she turns eighteen.”

  “I don’t want your money.”

  “You don’t have a choice in the matter. It will be in her name regardless of how you feel. She can make the decision at that time as to what she wants to do with the money. I just wanted to let you know that I’ve set it up. I’ll have my attorney forward all of the details.” Edward walked over to the crib. He reached his hand inside and brushed a finger along his granddaughter’s cheek before turning his attention toward me. “Congratulations.”

  “Thank you,” I said. My ability to talk seemed to be limited to those two words since he’d arrived.

  And then Edward simply walked out.

  Rush, who’d been stoic throughout his visit, closed his eyes briefly and let out a breath. Then I saw a single teardrop fall from his eyes. As much as Rush tried to have people believe that he didn’t need his father’s love, that was far from the truth. And even though I suspected things would never be great between Edward and Rush, I was happy that our daughter’s birth could help Edward admit to some of his mistakes and do what he could to atone for them.

  Rush turned to me as he wiped his eyes. “You didn’t just see that, okay?”

  I smiled and whispered, “Okay.”

  A nurse walked in with some paperwork. “So, not to pressure you, but here is the birth certificate form. It would be best if you could select a name for your daughter before you leave the hospital, so we can help you process everything. I’ll leave it here with you.”

  Rush looked at me as he held our nameless kid. “Damn…we’d better decide, huh?”

  We were no closer to a name than we were yesterday, having vetoed all of each other’s suggestions.

  Rush looked down at the baby in his arms. “You know what the problem is? There’s no name good enough for my beautiful angel. Nothing is good enough.”

  Then it hit me.

  That was it!

  The angel hanging in his car.

  The winged women he drew who looked like they were part-angel, part-fairy.

  “Why not Angel, then?” I asked.

  He scratched his chin. “Hmm. I never even thought of that.” Rush looked at her for several seconds then smiled. “I think I freaking love that, actually.” He bent down to kiss her head. “My angel’s name is…Angel. It’s perfect.”

  That night, Rush must have thought I was asleep in my hospital bed when he began talking in a low voice to our daughter.

  I was turned away from him and had been napping, so he couldn’t see that I was awake.

  “I’m gonna screw up a lot, Angel. I just know it. I need you to bear with me, okay? I promise to try my best. I’m never gonna let you down intentionally, but it will happen unintentionally sometimes. I can guarantee you that.”

  I couldn’t help smiling to myself as I listened to his one-sided conversation.

  “Like…I’ll give you a prime ex
ample. I don’t know if you realize this…but I screwed up in a big way right out of the gate. I missed your birth. What father does that? You probably didn’t even know. You might have been a little too busy, you know, coming into the world and all to notice, but yeah. I wasn’t here. And I will always kick myself for that because I can never get that moment back. Ever.”

  I could hear him kiss her.

  “Someday I’ll tell you why I was late.” He paused. “Okay…you convinced me. I’ll tell you now. You know…your Mommy and I…we haven’t had an easy road to get to where we are now. There were lots of moments when I didn’t think we would make it. And almost from the very beginning, it was a crazy ride. Your mother has a dirty mouth, you know. It was one of the first things that attracted me. But I love that about her. I love everything about her—and about you. Anyway, I digress…got sidetracked thinking about your mom. I was telling you why I missed out on you being born. I wanted to plan something really special. I was out buying your Mommy a pretty diamond ring because I wanted to ask her to marry me before you got here. But I missed my chance because you came early. I had this elaborate plan of how I was gonna ask her. Did you know your Mommy wrote a book? I planned to surprise her with the first copy of it all nice and printed and then stick the ring inside as a double surprise. But I’m not sure that’s even good enough anymore…because look at what she did…she gave me you. I feel like I have to come up with the most amazing proposal ever now…something even bigger…even more spectacular than what I had in mind. What do you think? You think I can pull off the best proposal ever?”

  I smiled and closed my eyes.

  I think you just did, Rush.

  “Come on, just humor me,” I said.

  Gia shook her head. “There is no way I’m gonna fit into that thing.”

  “It’s not gonna fit you the same, but that’s why I want to see it…with all these curves.” I held my hands together in begging position. “Please? It’s my birthday.”

  “Your birthday is next week.”

  I raised my brows. “Early birthday gift?”

  My mission today was to get Gia to try on her old yellow bikini. I had such fond memories of that thing, particularly the time she taunted me in it back before we were together. The problem was…she was eight-months pregnant now and didn’t think she could fit into it. Details.

  I kept flashing her my puppy dog eyes until she finally gave in.

  Gia sighed. “Alright.”

  I fist pumped and not so patiently waited on the bed while she took it out of the drawer and slipped it on. With a view of her back, I gawked at the tattooed wings I’d managed to permanently ink onto her lower back right after Angel’s birth, before she got pregnant again.

  Yeah, I sort of knocked Gia up again two months after Angel was born.

  It wasn’t even intentional, I swear. It was an accident, but one I didn’t regret because it gave me nine more months of enjoying her gorgeous, pregnant body, this time with the added pleasure of knowing that I was the one who made her that way. It doesn’t get any hotter than that for an incorrigible preggophile.

  We were under the impression that it was harder to get pregnant while breastfeeding. Whoops! And even though it would have been ideal to have more space between kids, in some ways, it was kind of nice to be having them close together. Then we could take a nice long break from having more, if she even wanted that. I knew I did, but it was her body, and that would be her decision. I knew she wouldn’t be getting pregnant for a long while after this, though.

  In one month, she was going to be giving birth to our son, Patrick. I was stoked. And that meant Patrick and Angel would be what are considered “Irish twins,” babies born less than a year apart.

  She twirled around to model the bikini, the pieces of yellow material barely covering her parts. “This thing used to belong to Riley, but I never gave it back because I loved it so much. Well, that was back when I could fit into it.” Gia stuck her ass out. “What do you think?”

  I gestured down to my bulging crouch. “What does it look like I think?”

  She bit her lip as she gazed at my package. “Do you realize that in the entire time you’ve known me, I’ve only not been pregnant for two months?”

  “Damn. That’s kind of crazy when you put it that way.” I pulled her on top of me. “Come here.”

  As pregnant as she was, Gia was helping support us. She’d gotten another book contract, and she would write during the day while helping me manage The Heights on the nights when Tony could watch Angel. Gia’s dad had taken an early retirement from the police force and moved out to the Hamptons to be closer to us. He got a part-time gig working security at the beach and was renting a small apartment not far from The Heights.

  Gia and I still hadn’t gotten married. I kinda liked the idea of living in sin while she was knocked up. Even though she wore my ring on her finger, we agreed to do the whole wedding thing the right way with all the bells and whistles after our son was born.

  Our son.

  I loved the sound of that. See…I wasn’t that off base in feeling like I was having a boy. I felt that boy coming in my bones. He was just a little late, that’s all.

  My sweet Angel baby was napping while Gia and I enjoyed this alone time. Thankfully, Elliott never violated any of the terms of the agreement we made when it came to our daughter. Lauren took him back, gave birth to their own baby girl, and as far as I knew, Lauren still didn’t know the truth about Angel.

  I reached over to the bureau and grabbed the sunscreen, squeezing a large dollop into my hand.

  Gia’s eyes widened. “What are you doing?”

  “Lie on your back. I’m reminiscing about the first time I ever saw you in this bikini. Remember when you taunted me, asking me to rub this shit all over you when I was trying to resist you?”

  She snickered. “Yes. That was fun.”

  “I bet it was. I jerked off for three days straight after.”

  “Except now there’s no way I could lie on my stomach, so you’ll have to take care of me from the front instead.” She teased. “Could you go a little lower?”

  Just like the first time, my breathing was erratic, and my dick immediately stiffened as I rubbed my hands into her skin.

  “Lower,” she said.

  This was giving me major déjà vu.

  She closed her eyes and was making the sexiest sounds as I began to remove her bikini bottom.

  Just as things were starting to get good, Gia’s cell rang.

  “Don’t get it,” I snapped.

  She lifted her head to glance over at the phone. “It’s my dad. I should pick up.”

  I groaned and rolled over onto my back.

  “Hey, Dad.” After a while, she glanced over at me, looking almost concerned. “Uh…I guess.”

  Blinking my eyes, I leaned up against the headboard and continued listening to what she was saying.

  “How do you even know she’s interested?” Gia smiled at me and rolled her eyes. At least I knew it wasn’t anything serious.

  “Alright. I’ll text it to you.” She paused. “Okay. Bye, Daddy.” She hung up and let out a breath of frustration.

  I placed my hand on her stomach. “What was that all about?”

  “It seems my father wants your mother’s number. He thinks it would be a good idea to call Melody and invite her out for—in his words—dinner and dancing.”

  I snickered. “Uh-oh.”

  My mom had broken up with her boyfriend about six months ago, so she was available. I always kind of suspected Tony liked her. During Angel’s christening, my mother and Gia’s father sat together the whole time and seemed to be really getting along.

  Gia shook her head. “I don’t know about this.”

  As weird as it might have been to imagine them together, I couldn’t think of a better guy I’d want dating my mother than Tony.

  Shrugging my shoulders, I said, “I don’t know…I think it’d be kind of cool.”

 
; “Isn’t our family dynamic unconventional enough already? I’d prefer it if I wasn’t inadvertently marrying my stepbrother!”

  I bent my head back in laughter. “Didn’t you read a book like that once?”

  “Yes! But it was fiction! Fiction, Rush.”

  This was amusing me to no end. “Not sure you’re gonna have a choice in the matter.”

  Gia cringed. “Don’t say that!”

  “Come here, Sissy,” I teased, pulling her close to me on the bed.

  She caressed my face and said, “Fortunately, Gia fell in love with Rush long before she found out about this potentially unsettling development.”

  I kissed her nose. “Unfortunately, even if she hadn’t, Rush would have pursued her hard anyway until she finally gave in.”

  “Fortunately, with the right coercion, Gia could probably learn to make this taboo fantasy really work for her.”

  Fuck yes.

  My excitement was halted when, right on cue, Angel’s cries resonated from the nursery monitor that was sitting on the nightstand.

  I laid my head in frustration on Gia’s belly. “Unfortunately, Rush won’t be getting laid this afternoon, will he?”

  She laughed and patted my back before getting up.

  When she came back and planted my baby girl on my chest, something I’d once said to Gia came to mind, and the truth of it was clearer than ever in that moment.

  There really was no more unfortunately in our story.

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