The Case of the Wayward Professor

by Gareth P. Jones

  ‘I thought you would feel me on your back when I climbed on.’

  ‘The skin on my back is pretty tough. I suppose that’s why you asked me to wait five minutes before leaving the clearing, giving you time to sneak back on.’

  Holly nodded. ‘But how come I can do it?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ he replied, confused. ‘Unless …’

  ‘What?’ she asked.

  ‘Knights used to drink dragon blood to steal their powers.’

  ‘Yuck,’ exclaimed Holly. ‘I haven’t been drinking your blood. That’s disgusting.’

  ‘When I came to the school I was still injured. Some of my blood had rubbed on to your shin. You put it to your tongue to see what it was.’

  ‘Would that be enough to do it?’

  ‘It would seem so, wouldn’t it.’

  Holly glanced around at the tunnel. ‘What is this place anyway?’ she asked.

  ‘We’re just off the north-western arm of the lithosphere tunnel.’

  ‘Where does the light come from? I can’t see any lamps.’

  ‘This is earthlight.’

  ‘Earthlight?’

  ‘The Inner Core gives off light and heat. It’s where dragons get their energy, just like humans can’t live without the sun. That’s why we cast shadows upwards. The nearer you get to it, the lighter it grows.’

  Holly gazed up at Dirk’s shadow. ‘It’s amazing,’ she said. ‘I’m probably the only human ever to have been here.’

  Dirk smiled. He would never have admitted it but deep down he was pleased she was with him.

  ‘Hey, Mountain Dragon, what are you doing?’ called a voice.

  ‘Quick, blend,’ ordered Dirk. Holly imagined she was made out of the same red scaly skin as Dirk’s back and her body changed colour to match it.

  A dirt-brown creature appeared round the corner. It had a large belly, a long droopy nose and a dark metal chain attached to its short tail, with a heavy-duty neck cuff held in its hand. In the other hand was a burger-shaped lump of mud. It waddled forward, sniffed the mud burger then nibbled it and grunted approvingly.

  ‘Identify yourself and your purpose.’

  As he spoke tiny bits of mud flew out of his mouth.

  Dirk wiped his face. ‘My name’s Dirk Dilly and I want you to take me to see the Captain of Dragnet,’ he said.

  The Drake puffed out its chest, showing its metal Dragnet badge. ‘I’ll do no such thing. I don’t know what the world’s coming to, civilians ordering Dragnet officers around. I never could have believed it. In my day, dragons showed a bit of respect.’

  Dirk hated Dragnet officers. Drakes went into the Dragnet for one reason. Power. They were smaller than dragons but the neck cuffs they carried enabled them to capture and arrest even the largest dragon. They were stupid, petty-minded and corrupt and they were normally looking for what they could get out of any given situation.

  ‘All right, what will it take to persuade you?’ asked Dirk.

  ‘How dare you?’ said the officer indignantly. ‘Are you attempting to bribe a Dragnet officer?’

  ‘What’s your name, Drake?’

  ‘You are addressing Officer Balti Grunling, six hundred and thirty-two years wearing the badge.’

  ‘Well, Balti, I’m sure there’s something I can get to persuade you.’

  ‘Dragnet officers do not take back-handers. I would cuff you for suggesting it, except I’ve got this mud burger on the go.’

  Dirk waited, saying nothing.

  Balti lifted the unappetising burger and opened his mouth to bite, but stopped. ‘There is one thing I’d like,’ he said quietly.

  Dirk smiled. ‘What’s your poison?’ he asked.

  Balti pulled out a small glass pot. He lifted it up with careful reverence and whispered, ‘Pepper.’

  Chapter Seventeen

  Pepper?’ exclaimed Dirk.

  ‘Dust of the gods.’ Balti showed him the old pepper pot. ‘Can you imagine what it’s like eating soil all your life?’

  ‘Lacking in variation?’ ventured Dirk.

  ‘It’s so boring. What’s for breakfast? Soil. Fancy a spot of lunch? That’ll be soil, then. Dinner? Soil. Midnight snack? Soil. Soil soil soil. Then I discovered pepper. It doesn’t half liven up a meal. This one’s running out though.’ Balti shook the pot. It was almost empty.

  ‘Well, Officer Grunling, you’re in luck,’ said Dirk, smiling. ‘As it happens I’m rather well connected in the condiment world. Obviously, I don’t have any on me, but take me to your captain and I’ll bring you more pepper than you can dream of: black pepper, white pepper, garlic pepper, Sergeant Pepper and his Lonely Hearts Club Band. And not just pepper. How about some mustard?’

  ‘Mustard? What’s that?’

  ‘Oh, you’ll love it. English, French, Dijon. I’ll bring you a selection.’

  Balti’s small piggy eyes darted around as though concerned someone might be watching, then extended his paw and said, ‘OK, it’s a deal, Mountain Dragon. This way.’

  Dirk followed Balti down the corridor.

  ‘Why do you want to meet the captain?’ asked the Drake.

  ‘I want to ask him what he knows about the Kinghorns.’

  ‘Oh, he knows lots about that lot. Since becoming captain he’s made hundreds of arrests. He’s cleaning up this place.’

  For Holly, clinging to Dirk’s back, trying to keep still enough to stay blended, it seemed like ages until eventually Balti stopped at a dark iron door and said, ‘All right, Mountain lad, we’re here.’

  ‘Where’s here?’ asked Dirk.

  Balti banged on the door.

  ‘Euphorbia Falls Prison,’ he said as the door opened. They entered an enormous cave and Holly marvelled at the scene in front of her. They stood on a wide path that circled an expansive underground lake which must have been over a mile wide. On the far side of the cave was a huge waterfall. It was making the water choppy and tumultuous. In the middle of the lake was a round island with six large, rocky mounds.

  Rough, craggy walls sloped up from the path at a steep angle. The cave reminded Holly of the inside of an amphitheatre she had once visited while on holiday in Greece, but ten times as big, and instead of seats for spectators, the walls were lined with dark metal-barred doors, and rather than sunburnt tourists taking photos, the path around the lake was lined with Dragnet officers, some dirt brown like Balti, others different shades of grey or dull greens, all staring across the water at the island.

  ‘Wait here, we’re in time for a trial,’ said Balti excitedly, shuffling to the edge of the path.

  Dirk moved backwards, away from the Drakes.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Holly whispered in his ear, being careful to keep her head as still as possible when she spoke to prevent it from reappearing.

  ‘This is a prison. These cells are full of dragons awaiting trial.’ Dirk spoke out of the side of his mouth.

  Holly looked up and saw hundreds of eyes, some yellow, some green, a few red, staring out from behind the cell doors.

  ‘Are all these prisoners Kinghorns?’ she asked.

  ‘I don’t know. I can’t believe Vainclaw has so many followers, but they must have done something to get arrested.’

  The Drakes jostled each other, standing shoulder to shoulder at the water’s edge.

  ‘What are they doing?’ asked Holly.

  ‘Trying to get a good view,’ replied Dirk. ‘This is a rare occasion. The six councillors are wise but they’re extremely old so it’s difficult to get them all in one place for long enough to conduct a trial. One of them normally wanders off before they get anywhere.’

  ‘What councillors?’ asked Holly.

  ‘On the island.’

  Holly looked more carefully at what she had mistaken for six rocky hills. They were dragons, each one the size of a house. Their stony grey skin was pitted and textured like wax solidified on the side of a candle. They lay perfectly still, with white smoke billowing from their huge nostrils, then
one opened its mouth, revealing rows of teeth like huge stalactites and stalagmites.

  Holly could just about make out two smaller dragons standing in front of the councillors. One of them spoke into a voice projector like the one Karnataka used to scare off visitors. The sound filled the cave.

  ‘The Council calls Almaz Bartosz, Sea Dragon accused of Kinghorn collusion.’

  In response, one of the Dragnet officers in front of them turned round and scampered up the sloping wall to a cell door, unlocking the latch and opening it.

  From within the cell appeared a rather scared-looking female Sea Dragon. She glanced about the cave, then spread her wings and flew to the island in the centre of the lake.

  His job done, the Dragnet officer jumped back on to the path and pushed his way back to a spot by the water’s edge.

  ‘The Council calls Salt Sheasby, Sea Dragon, as witness against Almaz Bartosz,’ said the voice.

  A second Sea Dragon entered the cave through the waterfall, gliding down to the island, where she addressed the Council.

  ‘What’s happening?’ said Holly. With the sound of the waterfall echoing around the cave and the chattering of the Drakes, it was impossible to hear anything from the island other than the dragon with the voice projector.

  ‘It’s like a human court, but without any lawyers. The Council will hear witnesses and then make their decision,’ replied Dirk.

  Again, the voice filled the cave. ‘Any dragon wishing to speak in defence of Almaz Bartosz should appear before the Council now or forever be silent.’

  Holly looked to the waterfall but no dragon appeared.

  ‘Isn’t anyone going to defend her?’ she asked.

  ‘Most dragons live alone, far away from each other as well as from humans. Many don’t have anyone to defend them,’ said Dirk.

  The voice spoke again. ‘Then, councillors, make your decision.’

  The six enormous councillors lowered their heads.

  ‘Are they discussing the case?’ asked Holly.

  ‘In a way,’ replied Dirk. ‘The councillors long since gave up speaking. They think to each other.’

  ‘They can read each other’s minds?’

  ‘It’s more like listening to each other’s minds, but essentially, yes.’

  The white smoke that issued from the councillors’ nostrils turned black and the voice boomed, ‘Almaz Bartosz, found guilty of Kinghorn collusion.’

  The crowd of Drakes along the path cheered and jangled their metal chains happily.

  The Sea Dragon, Almaz Bartosz began to sink down, as though being swallowed by the island.

  ‘What’s happening to her?’ asked Holly.

  ‘The rock is taking her to the Inner Core.’

  ‘But it wasn’t fair. No one defended her,’ said Holly.

  ‘Keep your voice down,’ replied Dirk sternly.

  ‘Psst, Mountain Dragon.’ This voice came from behind them.

  Dirk turned round and looked up at a cell door a few metres above him. A brown nose poked through the bars and two dirty yellow eyes peered down.

  ‘Dirk Dilly, it is you.’

  Holly couldn’t turn her head without reappearing but she recognised the high-pitched whine as Karnataka, the liquorice-loving Shade-Hugger who lived under London.

  ‘Karny, finally behind bars where you belong,’ said Dirk.

  ‘Come on, Dirk, give me a break. I’ve been set up. I’ve been accused of Kinghorn collusion. Me,’ he squeaked. ‘You’ve got to help me. My trial’s up next. This new captain of Dragnet is arresting dragons on flimsy evidence. Look at all these dragons. If Vainclaw had that many Kinghorns he would already have declared war. And you know what the Council’s like. If no one defends you they assume you must be guilty. Remember what happened to Elsinor.’

  No one had defended Karnataka’s brother, Elsinor, when he had been accused of breaching the forbidden divide, not even Karnataka himself.

  ‘Give it up, Karny, I know you sold your claw to the professor.’

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ protested Karnataka.

  ‘Come off it. Are you saying it wasn’t you that knocked me out in that old hospital in London?’

  ‘Knocked you out? Hospital? London?’ Karnataka’s voice got so high pitched that it was virtually ultrasonic. ‘The last time I went above ground I almost got killed for the sake of some human baby.’

  ‘I’m not a baby,’ blurted Holly, forgetting herself.

  ‘Who’s that?’ said Karnataka, pushing his nose as far through the bars as it would go, trying to get a better view.

  ‘I didn’t hear anything,’ said Dirk. ‘Shut up,’ he muttered to Holly, through his teeth.

  ‘It’s that girl, isn’t it?’ said Karnataka excitedly. ‘Why can’t I see her?’

  ‘You shut up too,’ growled Dirk. Bringing a human this far into the dragon world wasn’t just breaking the law. It was smashing, slicing and serving it on a plate.

  ‘Who are you talking to?’ demanded Officer Balti Grunling, turning round to address him.

  ‘No one,’ replied Dirk.

  ‘He’s talking to me,’ said Karnataka. ‘He’s going to testify on my behalf.’

  Balti looked up then back down at Dirk. ‘No talking to prisoners.’

  The voice from the centre of the cave rang out again. ‘The Council calls to trial Karnataka Cuddlums, Shade-Hugger, accused of breaching the forbidden divide, stealing and selling dragon parts to humans.’

  Dirk laughed.

  ‘I’m about to be banished to the Inner Core for a crime I didn’t commit and you’re laughing,’ said Karnataka. ‘What’s so funny?’

  ‘Cuddlums,’ Dirk chuckled.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Once again, the sonorous voice echoed around the cave.

  ‘The Council calls the witness against Karnataka Cuddlums, Grendel Sheving, Shade-Hugger.’

  A second brown-backed Shade-Hugger appeared through the waterfall, shook himself dry and flew down to the large island.

  ‘What is it?’ said Holly quietly, seeing Dirk’s ears prick up.

  ‘It’s Karny’s cousin,’ muttered Dirk, ‘I met him at Karnataka’s place.’

  They watched as Grendel made his statement to the Council and then the voice spoke again.

  ‘Any dragon wishing to speak in defence of Karnataka Cuddlums should appear before the Council now or forever be silent.’

  ‘Hold tight,’ murmured Dirk, spreading his wings. ‘Things might get dangerous when I land, so I’ll give you time to get off and hide as close to the edge of the island as possible. Stay hidden no matter what happens. OK?’

  ‘OK,’ replied Holly, clinging tightly as Dirk flew over the Drakes, across the expanse of water.

  ‘How is all this connected with the professor and the Tree Dragons?’ she asked.

  ‘The professor was given a Shade-Hugger claw as evidence of dragon existence. And you don’t just find dragon claws lying about the place. Why do you think no human has ever found one? Anyone dealing in dragon parts has most probably just lopped off their own.’

  ‘That’s disgusting,’ said Holly.

  As they grew nearer, she realised how huge the six councillor dragons were. Since meeting Dirk, all the dragons she had seen were around the same size as him, but the councillors were like mountains in comparison. Great clouds drifted from their nostrils like smoke from industrial chimneys. Their mouths were big enough to stand inside, each tooth was bigger than Holly, and their yellow eyes were like vast windows.

  One reared up, but a dark metal chain around his neck kept him in place.

  ‘They’re chained down,’ Holly whispered in Dirk’s ear.

  ‘It must be to stop them wandering off. Remember, these dragons are so old that they used to keep dinosaurs as pets.’

  Dirk circled the island. In front of the enormous councillors were the two Shade-Huggers standing on elevated stone slabs and two yellow-backed Scavenger dragons. Holly recognised th
em immediately.

  ‘It’s the Kinghorns,’ she said, remembering with a cold shiver her encounter with them by the Thames.

  ‘Yes, the yellow-backed Scavenger brothers, Leon and Mali. It’s bad news if these two are in charge,’ said Dirk.

  Mali, the smaller of the two Scavengers, held a chain between his teeth, the other end of which was wrapped around Karnataka’s neck. His brother, Leon, stood by the cone-shaped voice projector. They both scowled at Dirk as he landed at the edge of the island and reared up on to his hind legs with his wings outstretched, giving Holly enough time to jump off and dive to the ground without being seen.

  ‘My name is Dirk Dilly. I am here to testify in defence of Karnataka …’ He paused and smiled at Karny. ‘Cuddlums.’

  Leon turned round, snarling angrily, ‘You!’

  ‘It’s that detective,’ said Mali, holding the chain with his claws.

  ‘Arrest him, Captain Leon,’ demanded Grendel.

  ‘Don’t order me about, Shade-Hugger,’ snarled Leon, turning on Grendel.

  ‘So you’re the Dragnet captain that’s been arresting half of the dragon kingdom,’ said Dirk.

  ‘Councillors, this dragon is a traitor,’ pronounced Leon.

  WE WILL HEAR HIS EVIDENCE.

  Holly heard the words clearly in her head and somehow knew that they had come from the councillors even though none had opened its mouth to speak. ‘Councillors,’ pleaded Leon, ‘this Mountain Dragon moves amongst humans. He should stand on trial, not as a witness.’

  IS THIS TRUE? asked the councillors soundlessly.

  ‘Please hear me, before you judge me,’ said Dirk. ‘What I have to say affects every dragon in this great chamber and every dragon in the world.’

  ‘Yow shouldn’t listen to this silly Mountain Dragon,’ said Grendel. ‘I’m the key witness in this trial. I already told yow, Karnataka sold a claw to a human.’

  ‘Then why are you the one with a missing claw?’ said Dirk, leaping on to Grendel’s back, grabbing his back left paw and holding it up in the air. ‘And don’t call me silly,’ he growled in his ear.

  The councillors’ huge eyes fell on Grendel’s damaged foot.