by J. L. Brooks
“It’s not over Lila. I’m not letting go.”
I reached up and brushed my fingers along his jaw, “promise me you won’t.”
My eyes closed before I felt the feather light touch of his lips brush against mine. “I promise,” he whispered against them.
I awoke once again to a dark room, yet Hunter was not in the bed. Frightened I jumped up and peeled the drapes away from the windows. Below Michigan Avenue bustled with traffic and pedestrians shopping. Turning to see the time, it was ten o’clock in the morning. I knew we had to be on our way soon, and check out was at noon. I dressed while waiting for Hunter to return. Room service brought me a light breakfast, and I grabbed the laptop that was left on the table to see what was happening in the world.
My email had blown up with several hundred messages.
What the hell.
Ignoring anything associated with the agency, I found most to be media outlets seeking contact for a story. Several reporters were present for the gala and bore witness to the aftermath of my escape. When no one was able to contact me, and the connection to Hunter was addressed, the news went crazy. Apparently, my impromptu performance had drawn forth even more speculation as to what was happening in my life. Going against my better judgment, I took a chance and typed my name into a search engine.
Fuck.
Picture after picture of Hunter came up in the search. We were now irrevocably linked to one another and there was no reason given, causing a whirlwind of rumors to breed across the internet. I could only read a few stories before shutting down the computer. My sudden resignation had become public knowledge, and Blank Page was left in a bind to answer for my actions. I truly felt sorry for Mr. Nunnery, but Dinah could kiss my ass. I couldn’t care less if I ever crossed paths with that woman again. Suddenly the realization that she may still be trying to contact Hunter crossed my mind. Was he responding? What was he telling her? Was he still trying to get me to sell the story? Is that what this was about?
I refused to believe that he would use me for a paycheck or self-promotion. He didn’t need it. Staring back out the window, I watched the world go on as normal, when mine would never be the same again. The door clicked and Hunter entered quietly. Holding a small plastic bag, he set it down while pulling out the chair next to me. Scooting the bag towards me, I opened it and pulled a few small postcards of the Chicago skyline and the fountain. The sweet gesture spoke volumes, yet not as much as his eyes. They were dark and shadowed by the desperate need for sleep. Without asking, I walked over to the phone and called the front desk to reserve another night. If I could give him anything it was one day of rest. I picked up his phone from the table and turned it off as he silently watched me mill about the room getting things ready. Pulling him into a standing position, I removed his shirt and guided him to the bed.
He sat softly on the edge as I slipped off his shoes and shorts with a smirk. He returned the smile with a slight one of his own. The sheets were cool and quickly warmed with our bodies under the down comforter. Snuggling under his arm, I rested my head over his chest to feel his heartbeat, and it was not long before I heard the soft snore indicating he had fallen asleep. The only reason we moved for the next ten hours was to relieve ourselves or to order more room service. The television did not come on, nor did the phone ring. I left the bathroom door cracked open so I had enough soft light to study his face as he dreamed. He was so restless and tightly wound. His arms wrapped firmly across my shoulders when I found my way back into his embrace. How I would let him leave again was beyond me. Every moment spent together wore down my resolve, no matter how much I refused to admit to myself that it was going to destroy me. The thought of him touching another woman was more than I could bear, it always was.
Remembering how much had changed in a few days; I knew there was still a few more left for things to work themselves out. Being home would help rectify the situation and bring the stability I needed before making any permanent decisions. One thing was certain. I needed Hunter as badly as he needed me. What we wanted was no longer relevant.
We decided to rent a car and drive back to Ohio so we could visit Put In Bay for the afternoon before ending up at my parents' place for supper. I used Hunter’s phone to call my mom and ask if she would make chicken, which I didn’t have to because she had already bought everything anticipating the request. It was going to be a little overwhelming, so we enjoyed the calm while we could. The ferry to the small island was charming as the massive Perry’s Memorial monument looked over harbor. Several mom and pop eateries were scattered among the small gift shops. Hunter found a gorgeous wind chime and suggested we get one for my mom. As the sales man packaged up the gift, I smiled thinking about how nice the dinner was going to be.
The further along I-90 we traveled, the more I anticipated how things were going to go over the next few days. For hours we recalled hilarious moments that had occurred, many relating to my brother who would be joining us. Elijah was especially excited according to my mom. It had been several years since they had seen one another, although they caught up occasionally on the phone or through emails. Hunter had never met my nieces and nephews and made sure to purchase a few gifts for them too, although it wasn’t necessary.
He seemed especially worried about making a good impression, for what ever reason he felt he owed it for being gone so long. If that is what he needed to feel more comfortable, I knew no one would shy away from the thoughtful items. Using my fingers to firmly massage the muscles in the back of Hunter's neck, I knew they had to be tense from driving for so long, especially from how much he had slept the night before. His eyes held a gleam absent from before. Although we had not yet addressed the conversation, he seemed content on enjoying the moment.
We pulled down the gravel drive towards the house nestled in the trees. Fireflies danced in the low brush surrounding the property at dusk. I could see a few people sitting on the porch drinking beer and knew the rest were in the house and air-conditioning. My niece Avery jumped up and down as we parked in the driveway and screamed repeatedly.
“They’re here mama! They’re here! Auntie Lila’s here with a boy!”
I giggled at Avery’s reference to Hunter and picked up the four year old bundle of energy for the three seconds she let me hold her. She turned to Hunter with her big blue eyes and became shy, hiding behind my legs.
“Avery, it’s okay baby. He’s one of your daddy's oldest and bestest friends. He brought you a present too, so how about saying hi? I promise he’s okay.”
She peered timidly at a nervous Hunter before slowly moving towards the outstretched bag in his hands. Snatching it and running back by me, his eyes grew wide at her comical behavior.
“She’s been learning about strangers, don’t take it personally.”
He nodded and waited for Avery’s reaction to the bug collection kit he picked out for her. Holding up the mesh box and net she was at a loss.
“What is it Auntie Lila?” she asked while holding the pieces up.
“Well,” I said taking the pieces and opening up the small hatch.
“This is for catching the bugs, and this is so you can look at them for a little bit. But you have to let them go, you can’t keep them. It’s like a bug hotel. You can put anything you want in here.”
Excitedly she ran into the house for my brother to show him her new presents. We followed after, hand in hand up the stairs and to the front door.
“I think she likes it. Pretty soon she’ll be flirting up a storm with you. Watch that one, she’s definitely a Keaton.”
He looked at me timidly before opening the door. As I reached for the handle, his arm went out to stop me. Before I could ask what was going on, his other arm pulled me close and into a consuming kiss.
“Get off my sister asshole.”
Breaking apart from each other, we turned around to find my brother walking up the path from behind the house. Immediately Hunter and Elijah went to one another for a hard hand shake and hug
.
“I never could stay away from her, guess some things never change.”
Eli ignored him and came over to me right away, sweeping me off the ground.
“Welcome home sis, we missed you. Glad you're home, except you could have left this thing back in New York.”
The boys laughed heartily while harassing one another. I opened the door and we traveled as a group into the large open kitchen and the waiting crowd.
“Bout time ya’ll got here, the natives were getting restless. I was worried some one was going to chew an arm off or something.”
My mother smacked a few hands away from the mound of freshly fried chicken while she pretended to be angry at our tardiness. Giving her the biggest hug, relief washed over me in a way only a mother’s embrace can provide. Rounds of welcomes ensued as the family greeted us warmly. People were indeed ready to eat and immediately grabbed a plate after saying hello.
“Hey, hey, hey. You better let me get in there right now!” Hunter protested as the pile got smaller before his eyes. Grabbing a plate, he snaked in between the children and filled it with mashed potatoes, fried hominy and multiple pieces of chicken before disappearing into the dining room.
“Well, we know why he came back.” My mother jested while nudging me in the ribs with her elbow. Handing me a plate, I kissed her cheek as she loaded it with generous helpings of my favorite foods. By the time I made it to where Hunter and Eli were sitting, they had nearly inhaled the food and were both going back for seconds.
“Oh my god, seriously? Did you even taste it?”
With mouthfuls, they grinned and headed into the kitchen. With a more modest plate, Hunter sat next to me and rubbed my back affectionately. He was in absolute heaven and at complete peace. Eli’s wife Courtney joined us and immediately asked how Chicago was. Nervously I turned to Hunter and smiled, waiting to hear how he answered.
His response was short and vague, but enough to sate her curiosity. Everyone was so excited it was easy to avoid the topic. What wasn’t so easy was how we came to reconnect. My mother had walked into the dining room and guided the subject into a different direction. Knowing the truth, we looked to her gratefully for the diversion. Several more hours of lively conversation passed before Eli smacked Hunter in the back. “How does going to Vapor tonight sound? You up for it?”
Hunter looked to me and raised his brows. I wasn’t really in the mood to go out clubbing, but if this is what I had to do to spend more time with him, I would do it. I knew that alone the boys would probably get into trouble, and Courtney would be super pissed dealing with a hung over husband and new baby the next day. Heading to my bedroom, Hunter followed behind me and quickly closed the door. Slamming my back against the wall, his mouth greedily found mine as his hands frantically roved my body.
“We can stay here if you want. I promise to be really quiet.” He growled against my neck, biting my earlobe and squeezing my hips. Knowing I wasn’t able to have sex, I decided going out would be better than getting him riled up even more.
“We can come back and see how quiet your drunken ass will be after hanging out with Eli. You know people are going to flip the moment you show up.”
Pulling back slightly, his forehead rested on mine.
“Yeah I do, not looking forward to that part, but hey, comes with the territory right?”
Giving him another kiss, I lifted my shirt off and dropped to my knees. Swiftly unbuckling his belt, I reached into his pants, removed his semi hard cock, and brought it to my eager mouth. Looking into his eyes, I never broke contact making him swell even more. He craved dominance and control. In this moment, he had both. Sliding his fingers into my hair, he made a fist and gently pulled my head towards his hips more aggressively, causing me to gag slightly as more of his length was pressed deep into my throat. I did not stop, pushing past the temporary discomfort to please him. Softly I hummed, relaxing my throat muscles, allowing me to take him in more. The vibrations served as extra stimulation, combined with the gentle massage of his testicles, he came hard and fast.
I stood and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and grinned without saying a word. He moved to my bed and crashed backwards, bouncing a few times.
“Man, I remember breaking in this bed. I thought your mom was going to die the first time she walked in on us.”
Peeking out of my closet, I shot a dirty look.
“Well, you were violating me. No one wants to see their precious little girl tied to the bed post taking it in the ass while gagged.”
“You were twenty one!” He exclaimed.
“Doesn’t matter.”
“You told me to do it!”
I laughed thinking about the conversation my mother had with me after that. How she purposely kept Hunter on edge for several weeks just to see how polite he became over fear she was going to force us to break up, with the thought her daughter would be corrupted.
“If anyone else, she would have put the fear of God into them. She kind of did, however, she is under no delusions as to what kind of woman I am in bed. She knows you loved me, and I would never do anything I didn’t want to. Also, she had the comfort of knowing Elijah would have beat the ever living shit out of you if you ever did hurt me, so you got off easy. Pun fully intended.”
Hunter pulled me into his lap and massaged my palms with his thumbs.
“I could have you a million times and it will never be enough.”
Feeling the mood drop, I scooted off and back into the closet. Among the racks of clothes, I found a cute strapless sundress and pair of jeweled flat sandals I knew would meet dress code requirements. Hunter didn’t bother to change, knowing they would never deny him entry. Stepping back into the bedroom, he gave a low whistle and motioned his index finger around in a twirling gesture.
“You look amazing,” he said while admiring me from head to toe.
“Look at who I’m showing up with, you better believe I am going to look hot. If I can control anything, it’s this.”
Giving a slight slap to my ass as we walked out, he gave a warning.
“I know I won’t be the only guy checking you out, so stay close.”
I stopped before giving a smart remark. The comment rested on my tongue and knew it would only cause trouble if it came out. Hearing his possession surface made me wonder what he would tell people about us. Not everyone knew about our past, except those old school scenesters who were still around.
“Yes sir.” I purred seductively. He smiled back and held the door open to where Eli was waiting for us.
“Bout fucking time, it always takes you women forever to get ready, I swear, Court does that shit and it drives me up the wall.”
Shrugging my shoulders, I offered a weak apology and crawled in the backseat of his SUV which had juice boxes and crackers littering the floor.
“Dude, your car is gross. I know you have kids, but damn, this is bad.”
Eli raised a middle finger at my disgust and offered me a dollar to clean it out.
“Um, I’ll pass, as nice as that offer sounds. Maybe in a few months I will hit you up for it.”
We joked back and forth the entire drive downtown. Seeing the streets of my youth come alive with the two most important pieces of my past was bittersweet. I vowed to have a good time despite my feelings. Pulling up to the club, Hunter opened the back door and held his hand out for me.
“Milady.”
I curtsied and offered a quick peck on the cheek. His arm wrapped around my waist, and off into the night we went.
The familiar rattle of brick pounding from within was a siren's call to my soul. Boom, boom, boom. Eli cracked the glass door to the entrance of club and the sound immediately spilled out along with the cool burst of air, colliding with the hot sticky night. Looking up at Hunter, I shimmied my shoulders and wagged my brows while pulling him behind me before stopping at the ID check. A young, muscular man in a suit lit up at Eli and Hunter’s arrival and immediately summoned a petite brunette to usher
us up a roped off stairwell onto the mezzanine. I had the feeling my brother alerted them to our visit and reserved a table. Surely enough, a bottle of Grey Goose vodka was sitting next to carafes of juice and mixers.
Looking down onto the open dance floor, bodies writhed to the jazzy house music. I couldn’t stop my hips from shaking, despite my earlier reluctance at coming out. I leaned against the metal railing and smiled at how happy everyone looked. The intimate club was built with so many fragments of my past it was hard to not truly feel at home.
Holding a small cocktail glass out to me, I took it from Hunter’s hand only to place it on the table. A part of me knew that when the boys got together they would be drinking themselves silly and I wanted a few moments of sobriety to enjoy before the chaos ensued. With my right hand sliding along his neck and into his hairline, and the left on his hip, we moved synchronously to the salsa-like beat. His smile was so bright, even in the darkness I could make out the white of each tooth in his broad smile. I closed my eyes determined to make this moment a memory so permanent, I would be able to recall it at will in my old age. Hunter’s mouth found the curve of my neck, his breath hot against my skin as we moved closer together. As the weight shifted from one foot to the other, time stood still and shrouded us in bliss. The sliver of happiness we had been seeking for so long manifested in our beating hearts.
Above the others in the near empty balcony, we danced as if no one else existed. I held him closer knowing the moment was fleeting. Feeling my body tremble, Hunter pressed his forehead to mine, meeting my watery eyes and continued to shift, back and forth slowly. Caressing my arms, his fingers laced through one hand, as the other reached down and squeezed my rear causing me to jump a little and giggle. Before I could think, he snapped away from my body and spun me around quickly, then pulled me back like a yo-yo. Grinding his hips into me, he smiled mischievously as he picked up the speed of our movements to match the music. Shifting my emotions as seamlessly as he would two records in the mix, he knew when and how to manipulate my feelings, knowing they were just that.
