Santa's Seven-Day Baby Tutorial

by Meg Maxwell

  The English fall in and out of love all the time, some of her Amish friends had told her after their rumspringas. Anna recalled the way Sarah and Edmund and Emma and Jake had looked at each other during the evening. Their love for one another glowed in their faces, in their eyes. If it wasn’t greedy to have two Christmas wishes, Anna would ask not just to find her cousin, but to experience that kind of love for herself. To look at a man that way. To have him look at her that way.

  Anna couldn’t imagine feeling for another man what she felt for Colt Asher.

  * * *

  Sharp left, jab to the right. One, two. Knockout! He’s down for the count!

  Colt still hadn’t really gotten up. Or recovered from Anna’s comment. A kindred spirit. Colt was an Amish woman’s kindred spirit? Women had accused him of all sorts of things over in the past, since he’d first noticed Laurel Cuthman in eighth grade science class. He’d been so attracted to her that he couldn’t concentrate in any class, not just science. And thinking of her came unbidden whether he tried to clear his mind or not. He’d gotten better at that over the years, and now could be like a Jedi if he wanted. If he had to be. But Laurel had accused him of not really liking her, just wanting her for her body, and he hadn’t understood the difference. Her body was her, he’d explained, and he’d gotten a poke in the chest and a frown and a “come back when you care what my favorite food is, or flower, or if I have a good relationship with my older sister.”

  The thing is, he had cared about all that, but he didn’t want to talk about those things with Laurel or with anyone. When he was with a girl as a teenager, he only wanted to disappear from his house, from his father’s disapproval. Kissing, touching, that was what he wanted. And with each girl and woman that was okay until it wasn’t, until they demanded more in the forms of ultimatums. Colt always went his own way, looking for his own kindred spirit—a woman who’d let him be.

  He thought he’d found her in Jocelyn Akers, a woman who was everything he wanted. She seemed to instinctively know when he needed to be by himself, or when he needed quiet, or when he needed her to come over and just be with him after a difficult day. She’d been the perfect woman for just over a month until he discovered she was a very high-level drug dealer hoping an FBI-agent boyfriend would look the other way if and when he uncovered her secret life. He hadn’t looked the other way—of course not—and set up a sting that got her and several of her associates arrested. How could he not have known? The great Colt Asher had been tricked, fooled, bamboozled. His faith in people had taken a serious nosedive.

  The experience had made him aware that he was all too human and had to work on that, and it wasn’t all that hard, given how angry he was at being conned, to steel up his insides. Not much got through. There was room for his sister and his nephews. That was it.

  He wasn’t Anna Miller’s kindred spirit. How she could think he was, though, made him wonder what she saw in him that he wasn’t putting out there. Colt was a believer in control, and he thought he was in firm control of himself. So what could possibly make her think he was anything like her? She was sweet, kind, loving, joyful, curious about the world and truly brave. She’d left behind everything she knew to discover who she was and how she felt, to follow her heart. That was courage. Especially because she was so damn unshielded, unprotected. He ran headfirst into dangerous situations for a living, but he had a gun. Backup. Weeks of research on what he was stepping into. Anna was just going merrily along, letting herself experience this new life. And she might not like everything she saw and felt.

  He wasn’t her kindred spirit and he had to make sure she knew that. If she was pinning any kind of hope on him, she’d end up with a broken heart and he would not allow himself to be the reason she returned to her village.

  He’d take a big step back. He’d act like her boss. Their relationship from now on would be strictly professional.

  When he got home, he’d kiss his nephews good-night and let her handle putting them to bed on her own. She was the nanny. That was her job. He had no business talking to her so much, or hanging around her room, or inviting her to dinners with people he was connected to on levels he hadn’t let himself think much about. Yes, he’d take a huge step back. And as her boss, who happened to be an FBI agent, he could see if he could locate her cousin. He’d focus on that and nip any more personal discussion in the bud. A week from now they’d be leading very different lives; they would not be caring for Colt’s nephews. They would not be staying at a romantic little inn in a quaint small town. They would not be a part of each other’s lives.

  He glanced over at Anna sitting beside him. She was looking out the passenger-side window, lost in thought.

  Despite the long, dry pep talk he’d just given himself, he still wanted to know what she was thinking about.

  * * *

  “Good night,” Colt said as they reached their rooms.

  As she opened her door, she realized Colt wasn’t planning on coming in to help get the babies settled. Not that he had to, but he’d done so last night at his condo.

  She hurried in and set down Noah, then went back to the doorway where Colt stood, his expression unreadable, Nathaniel in his arms.

  “’Night, buddy,” he said to the baby. “You, too, Noah,” he added as he handed the twin to Anna.

  Something had changed. It was both subtle and overpowering, which made no sense. What had happened? Did the evening with his biological relatives make him uncomfortable? Maybe it was too much to process all at once and he needed some time to himself.

  Or maybe he had heard her call him a kindred spirit and didn’t like it. The phrase wasn’t something she threw around, but since her little cousin Sadie was reading Anne of Green Gables, Anna had decided to also, and the main character, Anne, was fond of calling those who she felt a deep connection to kindred spirits. Sadie had declared Anna a kindred spirit, and Anna had worried about that. Anna Miller wasn’t exactly a role model for a young Amish girl.

  Or maybe she was. She truly wasn’t sure about that yet. Anna had no business or right to lead Sadie to any conclusions that interfered with what her parents wanted for her. But Anna was who she was and couldn’t try to be something else. That had never worked for her.

  “If you need anything, I’ll be in my room,” Colt said, then nodded and headed into Room 2. He didn’t look back as he closed the door behind him.

  An ache settled in her stomach. She wanted him to help her put the boys to sleep, not because she couldn’t do it on her own, but because she loved watching him interact with the twins, loved how his entire demeanor changed. He softened, he blew raspberries on bellies, he kissed wispy-haired heads. And after the boys would fall asleep, Anna loved talking to Colt, asking him about his job and his life in Houston. Tonight she’d hoped to talk more about Sarah and Jake and if he planned to welcome them into his life, but Colt had literally shut the door in her face. Politely enough, but still.

  And she was hoping for a repeat of that kiss.

  Definitely not happening tonight, she thought with a frown, looking at his closed door.

  As Nathaniel gurgled in her arms, she held him close, nuzzling his sweet head. “Let’s get you changed, then your brother,” she whispered.

  Then maybe I’ll have to change myself, she added silently. And stop this crazy crush on a man I’ll never have.

  Except once both boys were in their cribs and Anna began singing an English lullaby, she really wondered if she could have him...just once. Colt Asher was initiating her, so to speak, into his world, the English world, and could he not introduce her to the wonders and joys of sex? She would never meet a man like Colt Asher. She couldn’t imagine ever feeling this lusty desire for another man. He was once-in-a-lifetime. Just like her rumspringa. This opportunity to know, to experience, to find out where she truly belonged.

  She wouldn’t proposition him,
of course. But there was a week ahead of them. And anything could happen.

  The thought thrilled her and terrified her.

  Chapter Eight

  A twin was stirring in his crib. Anna opened her eyes and stretched, then glanced at the alarm clock on the bedside table—5:03 a.m. Noah’s little mouth was quirking, his eyes opening, and a moment later, Nathaniel was wide-awake.

  “Who wants to be changed?” she asked, picking up Noah and laying him down on the padded dresser. A few minutes later, with Noah all set and in the playpen, she changed Nathaniel and set him next to his brother while she washed up and got dressed, poking her head out every minute to check on them. “Who wants breakfast? How about your favorite baby food and I’ll have pancakes with strawberry slices?”

  The very kind inn owner had let Anna know that she should make herself at home in the kitchen if she or the babies were hungry before breakfast hours or in the middle of the night. So after leaving a note for Colt on her door that she’d be in the kitchen, Anna scooped up a twin in each arm and headed down the hall, setting the boys in their baby seats at the kitchen table. Some Cheerios and tray toys would keep them busy, and Anna made breakfast, cutting up the pancakes and strawberries.

  As she alternated between feeding the twins their fruit purees and eating her own breakfast, Anna was again hit with a pang so strong. She wanted to be a mother.

  Maybe one night with Colt Asher shouldn’t be on the horizon. Anna wanted a husband. A family. Wasn’t this rumspringa about listening to her heart? If she wanted a family of her own she needed to work toward that goal. Not lust after an unattainable FBI agent who’d made it clear last night that there was nothing going on between them. He’d said their one kiss was a mistake. He’d meant it.

  So wise up, Anna, she told herself.

  After breakfast she took the boys back to her room to get the stroller and what she’d need for a walk through town. It was barely six thirty, but there were joggers and dog walkers out, and based on how they were dressed, it wasn’t too chilly. Anna reached into her tote bag for the cell phone that Colt had bought her for their time in Blue Gulch. A quick touch to the weather app showed it was fifty-eight degrees this morning. Warm for the morning in this part of Texas in December. And just right for a brisk walk around town.

  As she reached her room, she saw a note on the door.

  Anna, will be back by 8:30 so you can make your appointment—Colt.

  Was he avoiding her? Where could he have gone so early? Were coffee shops even open yet?

  The realization that she hadn’t been imagining his retreat made her heart sink. He was avoiding her. But he’d have to see her at eight thirty, when she handed over the babies. And maybe she’d get some answers then.

  * * *

  “All that looking around and people watching and seeing the Christmas tree on the town green tuckered out the twins,” Anna said as Colt stepped inside her room at eight thirty. The hair salon was just a couple minutes’ walk, so she’d have enough time to get there. “They’re definitely ready for their morning nap.”

  “Perfect,” he said. God, she looked so beautiful. The morning sun streamed through the filmy white curtains and lit one side of her face. She wore jeans and another of his sister’s sweaters, a pale pink cardigan with a ruffled T-shirt under it. Her light blond hair was in a ponytail. She looked so young. She looked twenty-four. And thirty-two might not be anywhere near old, but sometimes he felt like he was a hundred.

  “So you don’t want to spend time with them?” she asked, her brown eyes on him. Her shoulders dropped. “Wait. I take that back. I’m picking a fight.”

  He smiled. “Why?”

  She dropped down on the edge of the bed. “Because you disappeared on me last night. Suddenly things seem different between us, Colt.”

  He stared at her for a moment. “You really do put it out there, don’t you?”

  “I don’t see the point of bottling stuff up or wondering or speculating. If you have a worry or concern or question, voice it.”

  Another thing he admired about her.

  He might as well try it out for himself. “Last night—at Sarah’s, dinner with everyone—was a lot for me to take in at once. I found myself actually opening up to Jake. Out of nowhere I started talking about my parents and their murder—payback from a criminal my father had arrested. I never talk about them or that night.”

  “Oh, Colt, I’m so sorry about what happened to your parents. You must feel comfortable around Jake if you told him.”

  “I don’t think that’s it. I don’t really feel comfortable around anyone when I first meet them. Takes me a while to warm up.”

  “Nooo,” she teased, a smile on her pretty face. “Though you did seem comfortable around me. Until the drive home.”

  More of that “putting it out there.” He didn’t really want to have this conversation. Mostly because he didn’t really know how he felt about what she was asking. He could just say that. Put it out there, like she was.

  “You should get going if you don’t want to be late for your hair appointment” was what came out of his mouth, though. Colt was great at ending conversations.

  “We’re not done here, Colt Asher,” she said.

  I don’t want to be done. But I don’t want to start anything, either. I don’t know what the hell I want where you’re concerned.

  But he didn’t say that, either.

  She seemed about to say something but then bit her lip and lifted her chin. Whatever it was, she was saving it up for next time.

  “You’re sure you’re fine with watching them on your own?” she asked. “They usually nap for an hour and a half, but you never know. They both have a tooth coming in and the little pokes could wake them up.”

  “I’ve got this,” he said. He had a general idea of what to do from watching his sister with the boys a few times and, of course, from seeing how Anna cared for them the past couple of days. He could probably handle one baby. But two? The twins would be lucky to have their diapers on only half-crooked, and Anna’s room would probably be a mess by the time she returned. But maybe the twins wouldn’t even wake up before she was back.

  She headed over to the playpen, where the boys were playing with their little chew toys, their eyes definitely droopy. “’Bye, sweeties. See you soon.” She pressed a kiss to her fingers and then each boy’s head. She turned to Colt. “I’ll see you in about an hour, I think.”

  “Don’t rush back. Go shopping, explore the downtown. Have fun.”

  She tilted her head. Somehow he’d become pretty good at reading her. He could hear her thinking: He doesn’t want me to rush back so that we can’t continue the conversation I started.

  She was only half-right. The other half wanted her to enjoy herself, have time to herself.

  Because he cared about her.

  The realization sent a chill up his spine. He did care about her. He wanted her to be happy. He wanted her to find what she was looking for while she was here. Which was herself.

  A good reminder to stay far away from her. Emotionally and physically.

  * * *

  “Waaaah! Waah!”

  Colt bolted up from where he sat at the desk in Anna’s room. Nathaniel was sitting up, rubbing his eyes and crying. “What’s wrong, little man?” Colt asked, rushing over and picking him up. Oh, wait—was he supposed to let Nathaniel try and soothe himself back to sleep? From all the eye-rubbing and sobbing going on, that didn’t seem a real possibility anyway, and if Colt had let him cry, Nathaniel would wake up his slumbering brother.

  Colt gave the direction of the baby’s diaper a sniff. He smelled only powder, and gave a silent thanks. He offered Nathaniel his favorite chew toy to see if his incoming tooth was the problem, but the baby crumpled up his little face. “Okay, there, little guy, maybe your tu
mmy’s bothering you? Gas?” He laid Nathaniel on his back on the bed and tried Anna’s bicycle-pump technique on the chubby legs, and got a “waaaah!” for the trouble. “So maybe you just want to be held and stretch out a little? Let’s try that.”

  He picked up the baby and held him against his chest, one hand on the baby’s bottom, the other gentle across Nathaniel’s back, which he lightly rubbed. “The bitsy spider walked up the flowerpot,” he sang, but the words didn’t sound right. Nathaniel seemed to like his made-up version so he kept going.

  Little eyes fluttered closed. Colt looked down at Nathaniel’s beautiful face, his big cheek against his T-shirt. So much trust. It was almost too much to bear. This tiny life was in Colt’s hands.

  Of course, now that he was itching to put Nathaniel back in his crib, he was afraid doing so would wake him up from Nap 2.0. “We’ll just stay like this a little while,” he whispered, gently rocking the baby in his arms.

  His phone pinged with a text, and Colt walked back to the desk where he’d left it while getting information on Anna’s cousin. He preferred having his tablet or laptop for any research he needed to do, but he’d vowed not to take along either while in Blue Gulch so that he couldn’t easily get back in the Duvall crime syndicate’s activities. He’d wanted to keep his head focused on the babies and getting to know Jake and Sarah. So texting his favors and checking databases on his phone would have to do to get intel on Mara Miller. Luckily, despite having one of the most common last names in the United States, she had an uncommon enough first name. That, combined with details Anna had give him about her general age, made locating her a snap. She was right here in Texas. Three hours away, in Houston. All these years she’d been just fifteen minutes outside her village.

  The text had nothing to do with Mara Miller, though. It was from his sister.

  How’s Uncle Colt? Boys okay? Pics?