THE OUTLAW’S BRIDE

by April Lust

  Angel stood up and stalked over to the door. With her hand on the knob, she whirled around and glared at me. I saw tears building but I didn’t care. If she was trying to play me and manipulate me, it wasn’t going to fucking work. After all, I wasn’t born yesterday. I was Trey Minter, president of the Skullbreakers. Damnit, I was someone!

  “I didn’t ask you to rescue me,” Angel said under her breath. Her voice was so quiet I could barely hear her. “I didn’t ask you to step in.” She blinked and I saw a single tear roll down her cheek. “And I didn’t ask you to come back into my life and fuck it all up again,” she added.

  Before I could reply, she let herself out of my room and slammed the door. I heard her soft footsteps running down the hall.

  For some reason, I didn’t feel as good as I thought I should. After all, what the fuck was she talking about? Had she gone crazy in the years since I’d left? She didn’t seem crazy, but I didn’t know what was going on in that head of hers. Even back when we’d been close, I’d never been a mind-reader. I’d never known what Angel had wanted. It was obvious the kind of life she’d have, or so I’d thought at the time. Her parents wanted to bundle her off to some expensive private college, then make sure she got a cushy job and married a doctor or a lawyer or someone. Anyone who could give her a better life than I could. I saw her working as a secretary for maybe a year or two before marrying the executive who was sure to be at least fifteen years older than she was. Then she’d insist on being a stay at home mom. The next thing she knew, she’d be dropping her kids off at the same private college she’d attended in her youth.

  But obviously, something had changed. Something had happened to make Angel break off ties with her parents and try to keep her life separate from theirs. It was puzzling, especially because she had a child. Angel was proud, but she was the type of person to prioritize a kid’s life over her own. I wondered what could have possibly happened to make her change her mind and go her own way. As grandparents, her parents could have helped out a lot. Chuckie was in public school, and though he was well cared for, his clothes were obviously secondhand, just like Angel’s. All the food at her house had been store brand, and her car was over fifteen years old. She’d apparently gotten really good at making appearances look normal, but compared to how polished she’d been in her youth, I could tell things had really changed. Plus, she was working as a librarian. I didn’t know much, but I knew you needed a college degree for a job like that. College was expensive, and I could guess the libraries probably didn’t pay much. After all, she was almost thirty. If she’d had the life her parents had planned for her, she wouldn’t have worked past the age of twenty-five.

  I had a big house, and it was totally silent. I wondered what Angel was saying to Chuckie. He was a cute kid. Smart, too. I wondered if he could pick up on anything going on between me and his mom. Except there isn’t anything going on, I thought. You’re crazy if you think she’s gonna want anything else to do with you, man.

  I shook my head and stretched. I could go for a drink, but after what had happened, I didn’t want to leave Angel alone. I was angry with her, but she obviously had no idea how bad things had really gotten. I didn’t think she would have left if she thought there was a chance those jackasses would come back for her. Part of me almost felt prideful over this; it must mean that she trusted me implicitly. Well, good for her. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to trust her ever again, especially not if she kept walking off like that. As much as I’d threatened to leave her alone, I knew I couldn’t stay away if there was a chance she was in danger. She’d have to stay with me until I’d dealt with Damien once and for all.

  Damien. Just thinking about his name put a foul taste in my mouth. It wasn’t enough that my ex-buddy wanted to ruin me. No, he had to go after my ex-girlfriend and her son. That was nefarious. I shook my head. He was a lot eviler than I’d first given him credit for. I felt stupid for not trusting him years ago when he first told me he’d get me back. I’d brushed it off as meaningless. But, obviously, he hadn’t forgotten about that promise of revenge.

  Between Damien and Angel, my whole life felt like it had turned upside down in a matter of days. I opened the door and walked down the hallway, half expecting Angel to pop out of nowhere and tell me she was leaving, or something equally outrageous. It was a contradiction: I wanted her around and yet I couldn’t stand the sight of her. More than ever, she inspired a fiery reaction within me. It was the same way before; even when I’d worshipped her, she always found a way to get on my nerves. We’d had a tumultuous and loving relationship. Even if we couldn’t have that ever again, I still had to protect her.

  “Hey, man, penny for your thoughts,” Ram said. He was sitting in a chair at the kitchen table, his little handgun on the table in front of him.

  When I glared at him, he seemed to shrink back. I wondered if he was thinking about Angel again, and how he’d basically let her escape. There hadn’t been time to yell at him when I’d gotten Angel home. But now, some of the anger was coming back.

  “What the fuck were you thinking?” I hissed, leaning down in his face. “You realize she could have been killed?”

  Ram nodded tersely. “I know,” he replied automatically. “I’m sorry, man. She told me she was taking a bath and then she must have crept out the window. She made up some bullshit lie about how her period had started. She asked to go out and buy tampons or pads or whatever the fuck chicks use. I was caught off guard, man; that’s completely my fault. I should have known she was up to no good.”

  I shook my head and let out a humorless laugh. “It’s okay, man,” I told him as I cuffed him on the shoulder. “I get it. She’s fuckin’ crafty.”

  “She really is,” Ram said. “Are you okay? Did she get in another scrape?”

  I felt my stomach twist into knots. “It’s worse than that,” I told Ram. “I think Damien is behind all of this shit. I thought it was a coincidence until I showed up at his place and he told me he’d basically set his thugs on her.”

  Ram let out a low whistle. “Damn, man,” he said, sucking in his breath.

  I shook my head. “It’s some fucked up shit,” I told him. Getting up, I ambled over to the fridge and pulled out a couple of beers. “You want one of these?”

  Ram glanced nervously down at his gun.

  I let out a chuckle. “It’s fine, man,” I told him. “I’m not going out again tonight. I’m gonna be here. You can relax a little bit.”

  Ram relaxed his face and reached out for the longneck. “Thanks, man,” he said after he’d gulped half of the beer. “This is good right now.”

  I settled down in my chair without saying anything. Angel was weighing heavily on my mind. Ram was my best friend, and I told him everything. But, somehow, this seemed like it would be an awkward conversation. I wasn’t ready to let him know, at least not everything. Not about Chuckie, at least.

  As if reading my mind, Ram set his bottle down on the table and looked at me. “So, this chick, you knew her a while ago?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, you could say that, man,” I replied. “I mean, we were just kids ourselves.”

  Ram chuckled under his breath. “Those memories come back at you, don’t they?”

  I swallowed a lump that was forming in my throat. “That they do,” I said in a quiet voice. “That they do.”

  Ram leaned back in his chair and swigged the last of the beer out of his bottle. “I knew a girl when I was a kid,” he said. “Her name was Margie. She was gorgeous. Blonde, skinny, willing. Liked to get drunk with me. I smoked pot for the first time with her. She was my first kiss, my first fuck.”

  “What happened?” I was intrigued.

  Ram and I had been close for a long time, but we hadn’t grown up together. Sometimes I wondered about the pasts of all of my guys, but especially his. He was so quiet and measured, I wondered if he’d had anything really tumultuous happen. But he was a Skullbreaker, after all. Something had to have pushed him over towards this side
.

  Ram let out a long sigh. “When we were in high school, I started feeling a little cheated,” he said. He grinned at me and I knew the exact feeling he was talking about. “After all, she was the only girl I’d ever been with. Those girls back then, they looked so fresh. So young, I thought I wanted to try more of them. So we broke up. She got real hurt, real bad. Wouldn’t talk to me when I called her, and then she started dating a bunch of different assholes at once. The last time I checked, she was dating some asshole jock who beat her when he got drunk.”

  I blinked. I hadn’t known what Ram was going to divulge, but I hadn’t expected anything that sad. “Then what happened? She marry that dude?”

  “Hell no,” Ram said. He snorted. “I wanted to ask her to marry me, but by the time I asked her, she didn’t feel up to it. Said she liked dating around and didn’t want to go back to being with just me. Said she had a lot of exploring left to do, and that maybe we’d meet back up when we were older.”

  “Damn, dude,” I said, slamming my empty bottle down on the table.

  Ram snorted and I got up and ambled over to the fridge again. By the time I’d handed him a new beer, Ram was looking up at the ceiling. There was an odd, pained look on his face that I’d rarely seen before. I didn’t understand. He couldn’t still be broken up over some kid, could he? Why not? I thought quickly. That’s what you are, Trey. Broken up over a kid from your past, just like Ram.

  “Anyway, she died,” Ram said flatly. I blinked at him. “She was driving drunk and she ran her car off the road. Cops said it was instant, but, for some reason, I know she suffered. She was pinned against the wheel for hours before anyone showed up. I can’t imagine that was a good way to go.”

  I gulped my beer so Ram wouldn’t see my expression. I hadn’t imagined the story ending like that, and it gave me almost a new perspective on things. Yeah, Angel had fucked me over and left. But at least she hadn’t died. At least she was still here, warm and breathing. Even though Chuckie didn’t have a father, at least he had her.

  “Yeah, man,” Ram said. “It sucked. I thought about her for a long time. But she’s not in my head anymore, you know?”

  I nodded. “I sorta get it,” I said slowly. “I mean, Angel and I…” I was going to tell him that we hadn’t been serious, but suddenly I didn’t think I could get the lie out. After all, what was the point of lying to Ram? He was my best friend. Even when I thought about it like that, I still couldn’t make myself lie.

  “You what?” Ram turned to me and gave me a curious look before knocking back some beer. The sadness of the previous moment was forgotten. “You were gonna say…?” He raised his eyebrows at me and laughed.

  Suddenly, whatever openness had been building up between us vanished. I shook my head. “It’s nothing,” I said darkly. “Forget it.”

  Chapter 14

  Angel

  I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe I’d slept with him again. After all this time, after I thought he’d been lost to me forever. All it had taken to turn me weak again was a mere look from Trey’s piercing eyes. You dumb slut, I thought. So much for independence and feminism if you’re gonna drop your panties every time he looks at you like that! It was enough to make me laugh. After years of living like a nun, the first person I lost control to was Trey! The man who made me lose everything in the first place. It was a vicious cycle.

  Being with Trey again was making me feel the way I’d felt all those years before, like I could really picture us together. It felt weird staying in his house, or rather it had at first. That feeling had disappeared within the first few minutes of watching how comfortable Chuckie was in a new setting. I was proud of him; Chuckie wasn’t the most adaptable kid in the world. But he really seemed to love it here.

  I was sitting in the room Chuckie had chosen, watching him sleep. His light brown hair fell across his forehead and I reached down to smooth it back. He looked like an angel when he was sleeping. His face was peaceful and calm, and there was no hint of the anxiety that had plagued him when Trey had first brought me home. If he still wanted to know everything about Trey, he was doing a good job not showing it. I still couldn’t think of the right way to tell my son, “This is Mommy’s ex-boyfriend. Oh, and your daddy.”

  A pang of guilt flashed through me as I watched Chuckie toss and turn in the bed. He opened his mouth and for a second I thought he was going to sit up and ask me for a glass of milk. But he stayed asleep and peaceful, and soon his leg was twitching in another secret dream. He was such a good kid. I felt like the worst mother on the planet for having deprived him of a father.

  “Stop it,” I mumbled under my breath. You don’t know that things are going to be any different now, and you have no way of changing that. After all, what if Trey kicks you out once Damien is taken care of? What are you going to do? Spend the rest of your life mooning over him?

  A black depression settled over me and I closed my eyes. Those days when I’d been pregnant and alone had been some of the worst of my life. If I hadn’t been pregnant, I probably would have cried myself to sleep every night after a long glass of wine in the bathtub. But I had been pregnant, and feeling Chuckie grow in my belly had been one of the only things keeping me centered. I remembered driving out to the edge of Centerville and sitting in my car, looking out the window and feeling so lonely that it washed over me like a wave. I’d never been so alone in my life.

  Telling Mom and Daddy had been the worst part of it. Foolishly I thought they would have supported me. After all, Mom pretended to be a good Christian. She went to church every week and made a habit of telling me she was going to pray for me if things weren’t going well. She used to tell me all the time that she was praying for me to find peace when Trey and I were still together. At the time, I hadn’t known what she meant. But now I knew: she wanted me to find the peace of mind to leave him.

  They hadn’t found out until after Trey had been gone for a couple of months. I hadn’t been showing for weeks and weeks and then suddenly, to my horror, I realized the snap of my jeans had to be fastened with a safety pin. When I got home that day, I’d intended to run straight up to my room and hide. But Mom had caught me putting my coat away, and she must have read the guilty look on my face.

  “You’ll want to get rid of that,” she said callously, pointing towards my stomach. “I hope it’s not the spawn of that no-good Minter.”

  Tears pricked my eyes and I recoiled, blinking back the hurt and shame I felt. “This isn’t a problem,” I snarled in her face. “This is my child, your grandchild! And you’ll love them no matter what once you see them.”

  Mom laughed, a dry, humorless sound. “That’s what you think,” she said coldly. “You think everything’s going to be easy for you, but it’s not. Once you have a baby, that’s the end of your life. You won’t be able to go to college; you won’t meet an eligible man. No one is going to want you if they think you’re damaged, Angel. Haven’t I raised you better than this?”

  I blinked to clear my head of the painful images. Even now, eight years later, it still hurt more than almost anything in the world. Losing Trey, then losing my parents. I looked at Chuckie and felt love radiate through me like heat waves. At least I had Chuckie, my perfect son. He was worth everything, and I would have gone through worse to protect him. I always had to protect him. He was the only thing I had left.

  I didn’t want to admit it, but being around Trey again was giving me all kinds of ideas. Not good ideas, either. The kind of ideas I didn’t want to admit to having. Just being in his house was enough to make me start thinking about a future together. Would Trey stay in the Skullbreakers? Would he quit and pursue a more legitimate line of work? It was enough to bring a smile to my face when I thought about us coming home together, with Chuckie. Sure, he would have to go to daycare. But there was always Lindsey to watch him.

  I closed my eyes and imagined what Trey’s house would look like if I redecorated in cheerier, warm colors. No more of this masculine grey
and black theme, but something warm and welcoming. I could do the kitchen in sunny yellow with red accents. Growing up, my favorite TV show had featured a kitchen decorated with an apple theme. I knew it was cheesy, but I’d always loved it. I pictured us sitting down in the kitchen bedecked with cheery apples and natural sunlight. Trey had picked a great house; now it just needed a few homey touches. I smiled as I thought about us shopping for furniture together, Chuckie whining at my side, and the kinds of faces Trey would make when I told him we just had one more store to visit before we were done. I imagined Trey and Chuckie conspiring against me to run off and get ice cream before I could drag them into just one more store. I saw Trey running around with Chuckie on his shoulders, Chuckie screaming and laughing with delight.

  It was more than just the house, too. Chuckie was only allowed to watch an hour of TV per night — supposedly so he wouldn’t develop ADHD, but also because the power bill was expensive — but his favorite commercials were for Disneyland. He was always begging me to take him. I told him if he was very good, we’d find a way to go, but, truthfully, I had no idea how to afford such a vacation. Chuckie had always been a good kid, but he could be the most well behaved child in the world and I still wouldn’t have the money to take him on such a costly trip. Every time he told me about a classmate or a friend who was going, I could tell he was jealous. But to his credit, he never badgered me and he almost never sulked.