Psyche Honor (Psyche Moon)

by Buhr, Chrissie

  He nodded. “The prophecy was not meant for her so she did not understand its meaning.”

  “You know the prophecy?” I asked.

  He nodded. “The prophecy came to Sages a hundred years before your birth. We understand its truth and meaning and have prepared for its unfolding.”

  “Are Sages another race, Kato?” Billie asked in astonishment. “I've never heard of a fourth race.”

  “We are the bridge between Mage and Human. A few have stood as the bridge between Mage, Human, and Wolf. My brother, his grandson, and I have held that honor.”

  “Half Human, half Mage.” I spoke.

  “We watch. We guide. We foresee. Sometimes we change what is to come.”

  “Do you and other Sages do this kind of thing a lot? Change the course of fate?” I asked.

  “We are honored with that responsibility. We serve all of the races. The prophecy does not foretell the end of Mages, but a transformation.”

  “How am I supposed to transform Mages?” I couldn’t fathom it.

  “You have already begun.”

  “Will you tell me the prophecy, Muso?” I asked him.

  “Soon. Our Pup returns. There is time for only one more question.”

  I had so many questions I didn’t know how to pick one. “Can you tell me any more about my parents?”

  Kato smiled broadly as if I'd chosen the best question to ask. “I had the privilege of watching over your father for a short time. He was a man of honor and courage. You are much like him.” Kato signaled the end of the conversation by shimmering into wolf form.

  Before long Nathan returned with an armful of wood, still whistling a tune as he prepared a fire and smoked the meat. By the time night fell, we were ready for a long sleep. Billie and Nathan hadn't slept at all the night before. Even though they needed less sleep than I did, fatigue had caught up to them.

  “Kato has offered to keep watch again so we can sleep deeply.” I relayed the Wolf's mindspeech as we all sat by the fire in the waning light.

  “That would be greatly appreciated,” Billie replied. “I could use it.”

  “I tried doing the mind talking today, but you didn't hear me. Why can they do it and not me?” Nathan asked.

  I replied. “It's the way that Mages communicate, not Wolves. I can speak to a Wolf's mind, but they can't speak to me. Billie and Kato are the exceptions. With Billie I'm assuming it's because we're mates.”

  “Why can Kato do it?”

  I answered honestly without telling the whole truth, a trick when talking to someone who could smell a lie. “Because he’s Kato.”

  Nathan frowned in thought, his entire face scrunching, and he looked deliberately away from me. Billie helped the Pup understand. “A half-truth can smell like a lie. She's holding back, but she's not lying.”

  He looked at me, and I shrugged sheepishly. “I was asked not to repeat the rest.”

  “This is confusing. How do I tell the difference?” he asked Billie.

  The teacher in her came out. “Does your instinct tell you that Sadie is friend or foe? Trustworthy or dangerous?”

  “Friend. Trustworthy.” He didn’t hesitate.

  “Listen to your instincts. They won't lead you astray. If your instincts tell you someone is trustworthy but you smell a lie, there may be good reason. They may be protecting their own privacy or someone else’s, or they could be keeping a promise. Half-truths smell a little different than lies, and you'll learn the difference with time.”

  “I remember all the stuff ya told me about being Wolf, but it didn't make much sense while I was collared. I'm sortin' through it again. It's startin' to make sense.”

  Billie nodded her understanding. “Once you learn to balance your two natures, it gets a lot less confusing. Our wolf side is uncomplicated, direct, and straightforward. Our human side holds grudges, worries about the future, and is deceitful. How much depends on the person. Both sides are loving, smart, loyal, protective, and devoted to family or pack. Find balance between the two sides. They have more similarities than differences.”

  “That first time you took me out fer a run, I remember thinking I could escape her if I stayed in wolf form forever. I was screamin' inside my head to stay that way and never come back.”

  “When life gets difficult, a lot of us have that impulse,” Billie replied. “But we're the same whether our body is human or wolf. We can never completely disappear into our wolf nature.” Kato blinked in agreement. “Kato lives in wolf form most of the time and has for almost a century. He's still both.”

  “That sounds so much simpler.” The Pup looked at the Elder Wolf with longing.

  It would seem so. It is not.

  I relayed the old wolf's message. “His life is far from simple.” I grinned at the Elder Wolf.

  “There's somethin' between Kato and you, right?” Nathan asked.

  “He is my teacher,” I said proudly.

  “What does he teach you?”

  Once I heard the direct question, I didn't know how to respond. Kato, too, waited for my answer. I thought carefully and spoke deliberately. “He's teaching me to know who I am and accept what I am. He helps me see my choices for what they really are instead of through a distorted lens based on insecurity of who I am and fear of what I am.”

  Nathan stared at me with wide eyes. “And I thought math was hard.”

  Kato met each pair of eyes in friendship. He rose fluidly and trotted into the dark.

  “Where's he going?” Nathan asked.

  “He's patrolling,” Billie answered. “He's an Ethiopian Wolf. They patrol a lot. With Kato watching over us, we don't have to sleep with one ear open.”

  “That sounds nice,” Nathan yawned.

  “I agree.” I followed with a yawn of my own. I opened the sleeping bag and climbed inside, keeping my clothes on this time. Billie joined me, curling an arm around me protectively.

  “Wolves sleep together. It's part of being Pack, and it's about friendship and comfort. It doesn't have a sexual meaning for us unless we want it to,” she told Nathan. “There isn't enough sleeping bag for everyone, so you'll be warmer in wolf form. Curl up with us. Kato will do the same when he comes back.”

  “That sounds nice,” he said again and shimmered into wolf form. Turning in a circle, he settled himself on top of my feet and rested his tail over his nose.

  He's very fond of you, Billie commented.

  I like him too, I replied genuinely. And he's keeping my feet toasty warm. Bonus points for that.

  She chuckled out loud and Nathan's ears twitched. I fell asleep with her breath on the back of my neck, her arm around me, a Pup on my feet, and a friend watching over us all.

  Chapter 19

  Amy bristled, wondering why she’d insisted on coming. They'd received word of Billie and Sadie's whereabouts the night before. The couple had checked into a hotel north of Sun Valley using Billie's real name. Billie knew they could track her quickly through hotel records. Amy and Kathryn seemed to be the only ones who found this odd enough to question. The hunting party left immediately, reaching the hotel by sunset but finding no sign of the couple.

  After talking to the staff and inspecting the room, the Wolves gathered in the parking lot looking over topographical maps. Kathryn studied the lines and contours for a few minutes before circling a region northwest of the hotel with her finger. “Billie is within this area.”

  “How could you possibly know that?” someone asked.

  Kathryn gazed steadily at him, meeting his insolent eyes as if considering whether or not to bother explaining. She held herself regally, as always, and spoke to the Wolf with authority. “Billie prefers the wilderness to a hotel. She would not rent a room for the night, and the manager verified they stayed only a couple hours. Sadie also loves the wilderness and though she may choose a hotel, she is perfectly comfortable in the mountains.

  “They stayed only long enough to shower and eat and did not even make love in the room. They had reas
on to be presentable and were either in a hurry or uncomfortable in their surroundings. Remember they are newly mated and usually smell of their lovemaking. They had business here, so they are likely still nearby.” She pointed at the same section of the map. “This area consists of heavy mountain terrain and high altitudes. It is the most inhospitable terrain around here for Humans, minimizing accidental discovery. Caves and fresh water are abundant, making it suitable for Sadie. It's an ideal environment for a Wolf and non-Wolf couple to hide.

  “They are most likely here.” She pointed to a spot on the map. “It is less than a half day from the highway at Sadie's speed with quick access to even more isolated areas.” She dragged a manicured finger slightly south. “We'll camp here and leave at daybreak, searching north-northwest along this ridgeline until we catch a scent.”

  “If you think she's there, why don't we just go to that spot now?”

  “If I'm wrong, we could lose days. If I'm right, we only lose a few hours. Would you like to question my tracking abilities further or is a hundred fifty years' experience sufficient?”

  He backed down, but Richard continued where he left off. “You're assuming Billie is calling the shots. Sadie is in control now.”

  She stood tall as she faced her husband, the few inches in height making no difference. “Either way the plan is sound. Billie knows how to hide from us. Sadie does not, and she would trust Billie's knowledge. I am not convinced that Billie is collared, and I find the assumption insulting and dangerous. Either way the plan is sound.”

  Richard looked at his mate impudently. “If you’re not convinced, why are you here? I hope you’re not planning to let them get away.”

  She folded the map without breaking eye contact. “I have no such plans. I do not believe we understand what happened to Nathan and John, and I intend to find out. I wish to find them as much as you, only for different reasons.”

  He huffed and turned his back on his mate. Only Amy noticed how much his response hurt her friend. “If he breaks his leg, do I have to set it right away or can I enjoy it first?”

  Richard's shoulders stiffened from ten feet away. She knew he would hear her remark. Kathryn touched the medic's arm in warning. “There is no benefit to inflaming the situation further, dear.”

  She snorted. “I know. I'm sorry. I'm worried about Billie and Sadie. I don't believe Sadie would collar Billie. Gary's story doesn't add up, and they used Billie's name here. Whatever they're doing, they're not even trying to hide it, and I can't figure out how that makes sense. I want to hear what's going on from them.”

  “As do I,” Kathryn agreed.

  The hunting party piled into two vehicles with Kathryn and Amy in the lead SUV. North along the highway and then west on a dirt road, they drove until they reached the spot Kathryn chose. They found a place to sleep away from the road and spent the night in a pile of fur under the stars.

  The hunt resumed at the break of day. Racing through the mountains as wolves, they could cover ground quickly. Kathryn chose the pace, direction, and search formation. Each Wolf kept their nose up for any scent. They took nothing with them except for the fur-pack, which Amy carried on her back like a Saint Bernard in one of her favorite old cartoons. She could hope all day that her skills wouldn't be needed, but she knew better. Most of all she hoped she wouldn't have to bury a friend before the crisis ended.

  * * *

  I woke with my arm draped across Nathan's shoulders. Sometime during the night he'd moved, and his fur tickled my nose. He whimpered and his feet twitched as if running from the nightmare that gripped him. The Pup's chest rose and fell unsteadily, making his nose flare with every gasp. Remembering how Billie once calmed from the smell of my breath, I leaned into him. My breath fell on his nose, and I squeezed him tighter. His breathing evened out a bit, but the nightmare continued.

  Billie, barely awake behind me, noticed Nathan's distress and slipped out of the sleeping bag quietly. Shimmering into wolf form, she curled beside him and rested her head on his neck. Sandwiched between us, his twitching and whimpering abated, and he slept a little more peacefully. I lay in a state of half sleep, drifting back and forth between thoughts and dreams.

  I could tell when he woke. He didn't rise right away, letting our nearness chase away his distress. Billie licked him on the face like a puppy. “The nightmares will fade,” I whispered. “No one will ever collar you again. Billie and I will make sure of that,” I promised him. I couldn't guarantee it, but we would do everything in our power to keep the promise. He believed me and felt safe.

  Kato joined us after returning from his usual morning patrol. He stretched the full length of his body and lay across all three of us, resting his head on my hip.

  The Pack is coming, Kato informed me with no preamble.

  Shit! Billie noticed my reaction and perked her ears towards me without disturbing Nathan.

  This is as it should be. We must speak together.

  “Kato would like to talk to us.” I relayed his communication reluctantly. Cuddling a while longer sounded much more pleasant than getting up. Dealing with angry Wolves didn't appeal to me at all.

  In moments everyone had human vocal cords, and we sat in a circle. Nathan, still unaccustomed to nudity, drew an edge of the sleeping bag over his lap. It disconcerted me less than before. Casting out my senses, I found the hunting party. Kato repeated himself to Billie and Nathan. “The Pack is coming. This is as it should be.”

  “They're a few miles away in that direction,” I pointed. I couldn't tell south from east half the time. “Amy and Kathryn are with them.” I missed them and found their presence in the hunting party reassuring.

  “Who else?” Billie sat erect and listened intently. Distantly I found it bizarre that she could be all business while completely naked.

  “Jason, Richard, Phil, the Wolf who fixed my door after Jason broke it, and four I've never met.”

  “What do you sense of their mood?”

  “Overall, they're angry at me and determined to find us. Amy and Kathryn are determined, but they're mad at the others, not me.”

  Billie longed to see her packmates but anticipated a confrontation when they arrived. She didn’t want to fight them. “Kato, what do you advise?” she asked the old Wolf.

  “If you seek a fight, you will find battle. If you seek friendship, you will find friends. What you seek you will find.”

  Billie understood and decided on a plan in seconds. “They are our packmates. We welcome them and talk to them. We only fight to defend ourselves and then only as a last resort. Sadie, if you use magepower against them, we'll never be able to go home.”

  “I know,” I replied. “I won't unless the only other option is to let one of us die.”

  She nodded and faced Nathan. “The instinct to fight for those we love is elevated when we become Wolf. Follow my orders even if you don't want to.”

  He looked to me for approval, and I shook my head perplexed. “Billie is your Beta.” Why is he looking at me instead of you?

  Our instincts are to follow the strongest Wolf in the Pack. The strongest Wolf that we trust. In his eyes, you are that person.

  Oh. “I am not Wolf, Nathan. I am Mage. I have less authority in the pack than you do, and you’re a Pup. Billie is our Beta.” I looked directly at my mate. “Mine too.”

  He looked between us and argued. “But you can protect us like ya did yesterday.”

  Billie bristled slightly at the indirect challenge to her authority. If he did not recognize her as Beta, he could put all of us in danger. I was coming to understand the nature of Wolf culture. “Those were Mages. That was a different kind of situation, and my power as a Mage could handle it best. I won't use that power against most people, and especially not our packmates. Without that, I’m no stronger than a Human. Billie can protect us a lot better than I can. I trust my Beta to keep us safe.”

  You speak well, Muzi.

  I spoke the truth. She is Beta, and I have no right to challen
ge that.

  You speak well.

  He thought hard before nodding at Billie. “I'll follow yer orders, Beta.”

  “Good.” She showed her teeth in a wolf-like grin.

  He dropped his eyes to his knees, reassured a little by our confidence. Kato followed the conversation in silent amusement.

  “Do I smell like a Mage today?” I asked Billie.

  “It's fading, but yes,” she admitted and added. “It's not an attractive smell.”

  “That's going to make reasonable conversation more difficult.” I pondered my options but didn't find any.

  “Probably. I'll tell them what happened yesterday. I'll explain everything. If they won't listen to me, maybe they'll listen to Kato. Anything else, Eldest?”

  “What you seek you will find. You choose your path wisely. Their path is of their own choosing.” He shimmered back into wolf form and lay at the mouth of the cave, nose high in expectation of company.

  Their path is of their own choosing, I repeated to Billie. I think that means if this goes badly, it's not our fault. She agreed.

  * * *

  Phil yipped, signaling for the hunting party to gather around him. Amy raced towards the younger Wolf, excitement and dread building in equal proportions. She smelled Nathan's distinct scent as she neared the others. She hadn't anticipated this, and it brought new questions to the already bewildering puzzle. She could not think of a good explanation for Nathan's presence with Billie and Sadie. She didn’t like the only plausible reason that came to mind.

  Had Sadie collared Nathan after all? That would mean Billie was probably collared as well. For the first time, she questioned what she thought she knew about Sadie. Maybe she'd been wrong about the Mage. Her heart sank into the ground, and she barely had the motivation to continue.

  They followed Nathan’s scent up a narrow valley. The Wolves could feel the end of the hunt drawing near, and it excited most of them. Amy no longer wanted to catch their prey.

  At the top of a crest, the Pack found what they hunted. Side by side, they looked down on a long narrow valley cut through the middle by a small creek. It extended far into the distance, ending at a mountain lake. Not far below the ridge, a cave jutted out of bare rock with Billie and Nathan sitting near the mouth staring up at them. Her heart soared.