Psyche Honor (Psyche Moon)

by Buhr, Chrissie

  I shook my head. “Jason will need all of it if he wakes up. And my stomach is still in knots anyway.”

  Kato addressed me, still in his human form. “Muzi, would you join me on a walk while our packmates eat?” Kathryn jerked her head in astonishment at the manner in which Kato addressed me.

  “Gladly, Muso.” Kato met Kathryn's wide eyes and inclined his head before sprouting fur. We made our way further down the creek and away from the cacophony behind us.

  Kathryn was surprised we used the names Muso and Muzi. Have you not had many students?

  I have had many students, and you are the first I've named Muzi. Isingoma named their grandson Muzi, and Kathryn knows the significance.

  She knows more than I do, apparently. What is the significance?

  Muzi is more than student. Muzi is the inheritor. It is a promise to pass all that I know to you in hopes that one day you will take my place.

  I tripped over a small rock and stumbled in shock. I don't know what to say.

  I have waited 400 years to find my Muzi. I am grateful to have lived long enough to find you. I could only gape at him. There is much that is known only to Sages. Much is kept secret from Wolves and Mages to protect what little balance exists between them. Before I may reveal much more to you, I require your promise of secrecy.

  I don't like keeping secrets from Billie, I admitted, reluctant to begin doing so again.

  You do not promise easily and wish to be honest with your mate. I respect your wishes. We will speak with her before continuing this.

  I didn't know what this was about, but I agreed.

  They're almost ready to let us come home, aren't they? I glanced over my shoulder at the Wolves in the distance.

  Almost. Jason is gravely injured. He requires more than Amy can offer him.

  Is he going to die? My heart ached at the thought.

  A root grows in these mountains that will ease the swelling that begins within his skull.

  Can we find this root for him?

  We do so now. See the thick growth ahead? We will collect a small portion of its root. I saw the plant he spoke of. As he showed me how to collect the root, he also spoke about the plant, its habits, and its medicinal value.

  When we returned to the valley, I made a beeline for the cave. Handing Amy the small handful of roots, I explained, “Kato says these will help Jason.” I relayed his instructions and she accepted them gratefully. “It's enough for a day or two, and I can get more if you run out.”

  “Oh gosh, thank you! And thank Kato for me. Is there a spring nearby with fresh water?” she asked, placing a pan of water over the fire.

  “It's just up the hill. I can fill up the water bottles for you.”

  “That would be great. I'm almost out.” I heard the worry behind her even speech.

  “Has he woken up yet?” I lowered my voice, hoping the Wolves couldn’t hear me. She shook her head and pressed her lips together in a fine line.

  She spoke quietly as well, twitching her eyes towards the opening of the cave. “He's getting worse. He's showing signs of intracranial hemorrhaging or swelling. I can't tell which and it doesn’t matter anyway. It’s bad. Kato knows his stuff, so I'm hopeful now.”

  Gathering the empty water bottles, I made the short trek to the spring. When I returned, she had finished preparing the herb and held it over Jason’s mouth, carefully dribbling its concentrated juice along his gums.

  I knelt by Jason as she tended to him. I couldn't think of anything to say that would mean anything to the stubborn ass. Even humor escaped me. “Wake up, Jason. Billie will never forgive herself if you die at her hands.”

  Amy finished dosing him with the herb and settled his head on the sleeping bag once again. “I know Billie's injured, but she wouldn't let me look at her. How is she?”

  “She's in a lot of pain and hiding it,” I relayed. “Her ribs, kidneys, and right knee more than the rest of her.”

  “She took some hard hits. I'd like to check her out for myself.”

  “I'd feel better if you did too.” Billie, love. Will you let Amy check you out now?

  She's busy with Jason.

  No, she's busy watching Jason sleep. She's very talented. She can check you over while she does that.

  She hesitated but didn't come up with an argument. I'll be right there.

  “She's coming,” I told Amy, and a few minutes later Billie entered the cave. Reluctantly, she let Amy tend to her.

  Halfway through her assessment, Amy began glaring and kept her voice low with obvious effort. “You have half a dozen broken ribs and severely bruised kidneys. Your jaw is cracked, your knee is torn, and your tibia is broken. You have a broken leg, and you're freaking walking on it! I know you've got the pain tolerance of a one-eared mule, but this is ridiculous. You should be in here resting not walking around.”

  Billie shook her head and inclined her head towards the Wolves outside. “They need me to be strong while Jason's down, and they’re still not sure about me. It'll get out of hand if I'm laid up too. I can handle it.”

  “I'd argue if I thought you'd listen. Try not to get hit again for a day or two, or you will be on bed rest whether you like it or not. You've ruptured a kidney before, so you know all about that. Tell me immediately if it goes in that direction.” Billie gave her a defiant look, so Amy turned to me. “Do whatever you can to make her rest and eat. No hanky panky until she does both, or those ribs will wind up right through a lung.”

  I nodded. Billie hesitated before lowering her voice even further, embarrassed. “I tried to shift into my wolf form a few minutes ago. I couldn't.” The admission came with considerable difficulty.

  Amy's concern increased. “Your body's too stressed from pain and from trying to heal without food.” She pulled the smoked meat out and passed it to Billie. “Eat.”

  She looked at the food in front of her but did not reach for it. “I'll go ask Nathan and Kathryn to hunt for me and Jason. You better be eating by the time I get back.” Without waiting for a response, I walked out.

  Kathryn and Nathan agreed easily and without asking questions. They took off into the woods on four feet. To my relief, I found Billie eating when I returned. When she'd finished half of the smoked elk, she stopped. “In case he wakes up before they get back.” I knew better than to argue, and she looked less pale than before. “I'm going back out with the others.”

  “I'll grab more firewood,” I offered.

  Amy touched my arm in thanks. “I'd ask the others to help, but I don't want them up here. They can't know how bad it is. I really appreciate your help.”

  “Of course. I'm so glad you're here, Amy. All of you, but especially you and Kathryn. I missed you.”

  “Liar. You didn't miss me,” Jason mumbled.

  “Oh, geez, that root is super great!” Amy exclaimed then lowered her voice again. “How do you feel, Alpha?”

  “My head hurts.” His eyes slit open a crack and he winced at the light.

  “I'm sure it does.” She asked stupid-sounding questions and held up fingers until he barked at her to quit treating him like a Pup. “Yep. You're feeling better. Sadie, would you ask Kato if I should give him more root now that he's awake?”

  It only took a moment. “He said yes, every hour or two until the headaches are gone and he's clear-headed again. And now you can make a tea, which will be easier.”

  “You’re in Kato’s head now?” Jason growled at me.

  “Kato came to me, not the other way around. If you're going to bitch at me for it, I'm not going to share my food with you,” I countered. I wanted to hug him in relief for not dying. At the same time, I felt like kicking him for ordering my death. Instead I argued, which was how we communicated anyway. I handed him the remainder of the smoked meat, and he chewed slowly. “Nathan and Billie brought an elk home yesterday. It turns out he's a magician with meat. He and Kathryn are hunting for you.”

  “I heard you. I thought it was a dream.” His words came ou
t slurred.

  “Eat up, Alpha.” Amy reminded him as she prepared a tea for him. “So you can talk to Kato like you talk to Billie?” I nodded. “How's that possible?”

  Neither Kato nor Billie had mentioned Kato's Mage bloodline to anyone. I trusted their judgment and wasn't going to spill the beans. “He’s Kato.”

  “Aha. You're not supposed to say. You stay still, Alpha. If you try to stand up, your head's gonna explode.”

  He's awake, I told Billie. But I think Amy wants people to stay away a little longer.

  Thank the Gods! I'll be there in a minute. Is Amy handling him okay?

  For now. She could use Kathryn's special skills.

  Billie returned to the cave and knelt by her Alpha. She moved slowly, eyes low and apologizing with every movement of her body. “I'll go get that firewood now,” I announced, eager to leave them alone for the coming conversation.

  “I'll help you. I'd like to stretch my legs anyway.” Amy followed me out. We chose a direction away from the Wolves lounging and eating by the creek. Once we’d traveled out of earshot, we spoke quietly. “What will happen now?” I asked her.

  “They're gonna have to work it out all by themselves. Jason's proud, and he's gonna have a hard time accepting that Billie beat him in a fight. Matthew was named Beta after you guys left, but he's still laid up and will be for a while. Billie and Nathan aren't really even Pack right now. You never were, even though you were supposed to be. Whatever happens between them, the rest of the pack will accept. Unless he kicks you guys out again or tries to kill you, and then we'll have a problem.”

  “You and Kathryn won't accept it?” I asked. Part of me was elated that I had support, and another side dismayed to see the pack divided.

  “Nope. I don't think Jazz will either. She's a thinker, and too much of Gary's story didn't add up.”

  “How is Gary? Cassandra didn't come after him, did she?”

  “You mean the Mage? No, he's fine. Confused and rattled, but safe.”

  Another weight lifted off my shoulders. “Good. I was worried she'd connect the dots afterwards and go after him.”

  “Except for John, everyone's okay. That was a real blow.” Her face fell.

  My chest tightened at the reminder. “I heard she killed him, but that's it. What happened?”

  “We're not sure. Phil came home and found him with a knife sticking out of his neck. The only scent was Nathan's, and he was gone. John never had a chance.”

  “God. All I got from Cassandra was that John figured out Nathan was collared, so she killed him. You know it wasn't his fault; right?” I hoped they wouldn't blame the Pup for John's death. He felt bad enough about it already.

  Amy nodded readily. “Yeah, I know. A friend of mine was collared once, a long time ago. She did things she would never have done. That's how I figured out she was collared.”

  “What happened to her?” I asked with morbid curiosity.

  “We ended her suffering.” Amy's eyes darkened at the painful memory.

  “That's horrible,” I empathized.

  “A lot of people thought we’d have to do that for Billie and Nathan. The Pack's been in chaos since you left.”

  “I hope Billie and Jason can work it out so we can come home.” I wondered how Billie was faring.

  “Me too. I heard what Kato said earlier. He really put Richard in his place. And Nathan's quite the hoot.” She glanced over her shoulder searching for a glimpse of the Pup.

  “He's hunting.”

  “Oh, yeah.” Her face reddened.

  “You're blushing like a little girl. You're interested in him,” I teased her with a smirk.

  “There's something about him,” she said vaguely, her mind far away thinking about the man she hadn't really met yet. Collecting herself, she tackled me in a hug, remembering my lack of Wolf strength this time. “Anyway! Thank you. Thank you for everything you did for us. Thank you for being the most awesome Mage in the world. Thank you for being you. No matter what happens next, I'm with you and Billie.”

  Her words touched my heart. “You're welcome. It means a lot that you believed in me.”

  “I had my doubts. When I smelled Nathan with you, I thought the worst. I hate to admit it, but for a while I thought maybe you did collar them,” she apologized meekly.

  I bumped shoulders with her, smiling brightly. “You knew. You proved it when you got here and nearly crippled me with excitement. That's something I love about you, Amy. You don't complicate things. You see people for who they are.”

  She sensed something and looked over her shoulder again. Her eyes lit up. “They're back,” she declared and turned on one heel. I'd never seen her giddy over a man, and I enjoyed watching it. We had a small armful of wood apiece, enough to last through dinner at least.

  Nathan met us halfway, holding two large game birds and grinning from ear to ear. “Perfect! One for each of my hard-headed, overly dominant patients. Oh don't worry, I'll make sure Sadie gets a choice piece,” she amended when she saw his eyes dart towards me worriedly.

  “Are you as skilled at cooking birds as you are at cooking elk steak?” I asked him.

  “Oh, yep. I can cook any meat ya hand me. Not seafood,” he amended.

  “I'm sure Amy would appreciate some help with dinner,” I suggested with a wink. Nathan eagerly agreed, and I handed my bundle of firewood to her.

  Budding love is a pleasure to witness. Kato's thoughts mirrored my own from the other side of the valley.

  It is. They're mates, aren't they? I asked. The way they're drawn to each other is a lot like how I felt when I met Billie.

  It is likely they will discover their matebond soon.

  Have you ever had a mate? I asked him curiously.

  Twice in my life I have had that pleasure.

  What were they like?

  They were lovely souls, and both were Human. The first I knew as a very young man in Africa. When I was taken from my home I never saw her again. I was given nearly fifteen years with my second mate.

  What happened to her?

  She was sold to another and died before I could reach her.

  Oh my God. I did the math, hoping my memory of history didn't embarrass me. You haven't had a mate in over 350 years?

  I have loved, and I have not been alone.

  Billie's lifespan is much longer than mine, isn't it?

  A Mage ages the same as a Human.

  I will grow old and die. She won't in my lifetime.

  Happiness is not measured in years, nor is it measured by the apparent age between two people.

  True.

  Unaware of the conversation, Kathryn approached, hands extended in friendship. “I'm pleased to find you safe and whole.”

  “It's so good to see you, Kathryn.” I took her hands in mine and then wrapped her in a hug. “I'm glad you're here.”

  “How is Jason?”

  “Recovering. They could use your help keeping him in bed. But Billie and Jason are talking now, so we're giving them space.”

  “I wish to discuss something privately with you. Would you mind using your talents so we can speak without being heard?” In seconds we could talk freely. She cast a discreet calculated glance towards the cave. “How are they faring after their battle?”

  “I don't know. I'm staying far away,” I replied.

  “A wise choice,” she agreed. “Is Billie badly injured?”

  “It’s bad, but she’s tough.” I let her see my concern too.

  “She is also stubborn and likely to carry guilt for injuring Jason so severely,” Kathryn replied.

  “She’s doing plenty of that,” I agreed. “She didn’t even eat until I made her.”

  “I will help as I can,” she promised.

  “Have you and Richard had a chance to talk since the faceoff?” I asked.

  “He is avoiding me again.” I could feel her pain so intimately, it was almost physical. “I thought perhaps Kato's words would help heal the rift. I fear I have los
t my mate.”

  “There's still hope,” I told her.

  “What do you sense from him?” She wanted a reason to share my hope, and I gave it to her.

  “He’s projecting a lot of shame and anxiety. I haven't felt his anger on me since the faceoff. I don't believe the conflict between us is over, but I'm not his priority anymore.”

  “That is good news.” Her words came out choked. “Are you angry at him?”

  “I am. His betrayal reminds me of the way my parents turned on me when they caught me kissing a girl.” I voiced the connection for the first time.

  “Your reaction is understandable. Why did you help us after we betrayed you?”

  “Part of me wanted to prove to myself and to all of you that I'm not like other Mages. Part of me was atoning for what my race has done to yours. But mostly I've come to think of the pack as my family, and I couldn't let them hurt you.” I hadn’t even told Billie the details of what I’d seen. “Kato shared his vision with me, and it was horrifying. Billie, Jason and Matthew were dead. You, Jazz, Gary, and John and nearly everyone else were collared. Amy escaped somehow and Kato helped her get away. They were the only two survivors. In Kato's vision, Amy was crumpled on the forest floor, wailing. She told him everyone she loved was dead or worse. She was completely broken. There was no other choice to make.”

  “Where were you in the vision?” Kathryn asked curiously.

  “I wasn't in it,” I explained. “Kato says he can't see the fate of Mages. We don't appear in his visions.”

  “Curious. His brother saw Mages in visions. We are in your debt, Sadie. You've shown yourself to be a person of highest integrity. I thank you for my life and for the lives of all those I love.”

  “I'm glad I was able to stop them.”

  “How you were able to do that is a mystery, and one I will ask about another day.” Her eyes twinkled, revealing that she knew more than she let on. “You are Kato's Muzi.”

  I nodded. “It takes my breath away.”

  “As it should. There is no higher compliment for a Sage to give. It is a deeper relationship than mates. Congratulations, dearling, and welcome to my family.” She tipped a finger under my chin as she explained. “You are my niece now.”