Coulson's Secret

by McIntyre, Anna J

  * * *

  Kimmy, we just want you to know we are always here for you. If you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate to contact us. We consider you both friend and family. If you ever decide to return to Coulson, the door is always open. While you may not want it, Coulson House will someday be yours. You have every right to it. If you eventually decide to sell it or give it to charity, we understand, and you have our support. All our love and Merry Christmas, Alex, Garret, Kate, and Russell.

  * * *

  Kimmy’s hands trembled as she held the letter and reread it. It appeared to be a photocopy of the original, and she wondered if they had faxed it to the florist. For some reason, the fact they signed it with their first names and did not include their surname made her feel as if their sentiment was genuine. She wondered what Harrison Senior thought. Taking a deep breath, she folded the letter neatly, slipped it back into the envelope, and then put it in her purse.

  “Hey, a few of us are going to happy hour over at Tanks. You want to go?” Ed asked as he popped his head into Kim’s office. He noticed the serious expression on her face as she looked up to him from where she sat behind her desk.

  “I don’t think so, but thanks.” Kim smiled weakly.

  “You okay, kid?” Ed asked as he stepped into her office.

  “I’ll be okay,” Kim told him.

  He wasn’t convinced. “You know, we really haven’t talked since you’ve come back. If you need anyone to talk to, you know I’m here for you.”

  “I appreciate that, but I’m okay. Just a little tired. Think I’ll head home. Maybe next time, okay?”

  “Sure, kid.” Ed gave Kim a little wink and then left the office.

  When Kim got home, she fed Jake, took a quick shower, and slipped into some sweat pants and a T-shirt. Grabbing her laptop from the kitchen table, she headed for the bedroom. Sitting atop her bedspread with a pile of pillows at her back, she opened the computer and turned it on. A few minutes later, she logged into her personal email account and opened the letter from Nick. She sat there for several minutes, trying to decide what to say.

  * * *

  Dear Nick,

  I got home safe and sound. Sorry I didn’t call you before I left or when I got here so you would know I arrived okay. It is a little strange being back home. I keep having this feeling that I forgot something.

  I arranged for some movers to pack up Mom’s house. Initially, they told me it would be several weeks before they could do the job, but then they called back a short time later and said they could do it this week. I thought it was a sign that I was doing the right thing.

  As it turns out, I got a call from them this morning, and they had a problem with one of their trucks, and now they can’t do it until after the New Year. So, that is on hold right now.

  I called Emily’s office this morning about listing the house, and things are all upside down there because of her death, which is understandable. I’m going to worry about all this after the New Year. It’s kind of silly to try to arrange movers and a listing during the holidays.

  How is your dad? Have you told him yet what we learned about Mom? I will understand if you decided not to tell him everything. Honestly, I don’t like the idea of him carrying that burden, especially considering his health.

  You are right; Harrison destroyed our parents.

  I did a lot of thinking on the long drive home from Coulson. I realized something I hadn’t considered before. If I could go back in time and prevent the rapes—I would not have been born. And neither would you. That is something I need to think about.

  I imagine you must be busy with the holidays. I remember you telling me you were pretty much booked up for December. So if you don’t get around to writing back, I’ll understand.

  Have a wonderful Christmas and give your dad my best.

  Love, Kim

  Nick read and then reread Kim’s email. She mentioned nothing about wanting to see him again. He wondered if the email was simply her way of being polite and acknowledging his message. Her statement about not having to write back certainly didn’t sound encouraging, he thought. Instead of an email, he wished she would call him on the phone. He was tempted to call her, yet decided to think about it for a few days before trying to contact her again.

  The week seemed to drag on for Kim. Until returning from Coulson, she had not realized how empty her life was in Arizona. Aside from work relationships, she hadn’t really developed any close friends. In many ways, her life was as solitary as her mother’s had been. She found that a chilling thought.

  In spite of the fact that she wasn’t actively working with any buyers and her listings were rarely shown due to the holidays, Kim went into the office each day. She spent several afternoons trying to wrap up her mother’s affairs, which included several phone conversations with her mother’s attorney and bank. As best as Kim could determine, after taking a closer look at Carol’s finances, the large sum of money in Carol’s savings account had been accumulated over a long period of time and was not a payoff from the senator. Since Carol never had a house payment, she had been able to build up her savings account.

  Apparently, Carol had no real bills, aside from utilities, insurance, and taxes. Instead of bringing Carol’s car home after it was towed from the parking lot at the senator’s office, Kim had arranged to sell the vehicle, and according to the attorney, it looked as if they had a buyer, providing he could complete the necessary paper work to transfer title.

  While most of Kim’s coworkers attended holiday parties, she spent the weekend alone with Jake. If it wasn’t so close to Christmas, she might be tempted to go into the office Saturday morning. Yet, she felt it would be a waste of time. On Sunday, she received a second email from Nick.

  * * *

  Kim, you’ve been constantly on my mind. How are you doing?

  Yes, we are booked up for the holidays. In fact, some locals have reserved the place for a family Christmas reunion. Normally, we provide one meal a day, but they want to do something else as a group. It actually works out for the woman who cooks for us, and she is thrilled to have Christmas off this year. I’m not sure what Dad and I will do. We intend to stay out of their way and keep to our own rooms.

  What are you doing for Christmas?

  I’m sorry about the mover mix up and listing. Although I will admit, I would love you to have to come back here. I guess that is selfish of me.

  I was thinking about what you wrote—that if not for Harrison’s actions, you and I would not be here. Your mother wrote something similar in her diary, about how if you look hard enough, good things come out of bad events. I believe we could be good together.

  I love you.

  Nick.

  * * *

  After reading Nick’s email, Kim considered calling him on the phone. She didn’t know what she would say to him, but she wanted to hear his voice. Kim closed her eyes and began thinking of Nick. Her thoughts of Nick quickly shifted to Adam, and she found herself comparing the two men.

  As a teenager, just seeing Adam Keller in the hallway at school or spotting his car on the highway had set her heart racing and imaginary butterflies fluttering in her belly. When she had first seen Adam in Coulson after her mother’s death, she had experienced a physical reaction upon seeing him again, but it was in no way as intense as what she had experienced in her youth.

  While the encounter in the kitchen had been hot and sexually satisfying, it had not made her crave more. Instead of a beginning, it felt like a conclusion. She still loved Adam, she told herself, yet not in the way that she now felt about Nick. The thought startled her because, until that moment, she had not admitted to herself that she was in love with Nick Myers. It’s too complicated, she kept telling herself. Kim turned off her computer without replying to Nick’s email.

  The next day while at the office, Kim received an email from two members of the Coulson family, Sarah and Hannah. Since she had never given the girls her email address, she suspected they,
like Nick, had found the address on her real estate website because they had sent the email to the one she used for business.

  * * *

  Hi Kimmy,

  This is Sarah and Hannah—actually I (Sarah) am writing this, and Hannah is trying to tell me what to write. LOL.

  We were really sorry to see you go. I hoped you and Adam would get back together. I never really liked Angela. She was kind of a biatch. Hannah just reminded me—Angela was a BIG biatch, considering what she did to Adam and that poor real estate lady.

  I guess you and Adam won’t be getting back together now. Adam says you are in love with that guy who was supposed to be your brother. According to Adam, that guy also loves you. He is pretty cute—Hannah just said HOT, LOL, so we understand. We cousins have to stick together.

  You are our cousin, which is kind of weird. But it is also cool.

  We are really sorry what Uncle Harrison did to your mother. Hannah and I always thought he was weird. Aunt Kate always said he was a nut. But we never saw much of Uncle Harrison and Aunt Shelly, maybe once a year.

  Aunt Shelly moved out of grandpa’s house. Mom said she is going to Paris.

  We are spending Christmas at Grandpa Coulson’s house this year. This will be the first time we’ve ever had Christmas there. Normally, we go up to Clement Falls. Hannah and I agreed to decorate the tree for Grandpa.

  We wish you would come and spend Christmas with us. It would be so cool. Dad and Uncle Russy are NOTHING like their brother. Grandpa is not too bad. Mom says he is mellowing with age.

  We hope to see you soon. Please come for Christmas.

  Love, your cousins,

  Sarah and Hannah

  Kim left the office early and drove through a fast food restaurant to grab dinner. She didn’t feel like cooking, and if she didn’t pick something up, she knew she’d skip dinner again. Eating was no longer a priority.

  She ate half of her burger and only a couple of fries and then put the rest in the trashcan in her kitchen. The evening seemed to drag on, and by eight, she was already bathed and climbing into bed. Kim tucked one pillow under her head and wrapped her arms around a second one. Jake was wandering around somewhere in the condominium, and she hadn’t seen him since dinner. Kim closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

  She felt the fingers brush across her forehead and push her bangs to one side. It tickled a little, but she liked the way it felt. Her mother used to do that when Kim was sick. Kim smiled, rolled over, opened her eyes sleepily, and saw her mother sitting on the side of her bed.

  “I wish you wouldn’t eat fast food. It’s not good for you,” Carol told Kim.

  “I know. It didn’t taste very good. I wish you would make me your chicken soup. I loved your chicken soup,” Kim said sleepily. Kim looked up at her mother and noticed how nice she looked. She couldn’t remember Carol wearing her hair that way before; she seemed younger somehow and thinner.

  “You look really nice, Mama,” Kim told her.

  “You haven’t called me that since you were a little girl.” Carol smiled down at her daughter and started brushing Kim’s forehead again, ever so lightly.

  “I’m sorry, Mama. I wasn’t very nice to you.”

  “I guess we both have regrets, sweetheart. I’m afraid I let you down.”

  “No, I should have been a better daughter. I should have come home and visited you.”

  “I would have liked that, but I understand. Really I do. And Kim, I’m so proud of you. I want you to remember that.”

  “You are?” Kim felt like a little girl again.

  “Yes, I’ve always been proud of you. I only wanted the best for you.”

  “Mama, I’m so sorry for what Harrison Coulson did.”

  “Don’t be, sweetheart, because I got you. And while I may not have shown it often enough, you have always been the best thing in my life.”

  “I miss you, Mama.”

  “I know, but remember I will always be with you. And Kim?”

  “Yes, Mama?”

  “It’s okay to go home again. You’re not the only good thing to come out of this. Look for those good things. Go home, Kimmy, and embrace them.”

  Jake jumped up on the bed, waking her. Kim sat upright, slightly dazed, and looked around frantically and called out, “Mama?”

  She was alone in the room with Jake. Kim closed her eyes, put her head back on the pillow, and experienced such a rush of emotion that she didn’t know if she wanted to laugh or cry.

  Chapter 32

  The rich scent of pine assaulted Garret’s senses the moment he stepped into the entry of his father’s home. This would be his first Christmas at his childhood home since before marrying Alexandra. Garret found his father in the living room, instructing Hannah and Sarah on the fine art of tree decorating.

  “I thought the girls would have that tree done by now.” Garret chuckled, amused at finding the girls spending time alone with his father.

  Hannah was busy securing wire hooks on glass balls while Sarah stood by, waiting for her cousin to hand her an ornament so she could hang it on the tree.

  “We have to put all the hooks back on,” Hannah explained. “Someone took them all off.”

  “Well, it sure wasn’t Shelly.” Harrison laughed. “I don’t think she ever decorated a Christmas tree in her life.”

  Garret wasn’t about to remind his father that the Christmas trees of his youths had typically been decorated by designers hired by his mother.

  “Have you heard from Shelly?” Garret asked as he sat down next to his father and watched the girls decorate the tree.

  “No, and I don’t expect to. I know she arrived in Paris. I imagine she is still fuming over the terms of Harrison’s will.”

  “I don’t think she was thrilled when the lawyers explained half of the estate would be going to Kimmy. I was a little surprised that she didn’t demand a DNA test.”

  “I’m not,” Harrison told him. “Shelly was relieved this thing didn’t make it bigger in the news than it did. If she contests the will or challenges Kim’s claim on the inheritance, then the story will get more press.”

  “Well, Kimmy really hasn’t made a claim on the estate. I’ve asked the lawyers to drag their feet a bit on contacting her, using the holiday as an excuse. I want her to get used to the idea that she’s part of this family. I’m afraid if she finds out about the money now, she might do something foolish like give it all away,” Garret told his father.

  “Now, that would piss Shelly off.” Harrison laughed. “I still don’t know why you let her go back to Arizona. You need to bring her home for Christmas.” Harrison then looked back at the tree and pointed at a limb, telling his granddaughters where to hang an ornament.

  Garret didn’t respond immediately but turned to study his father, who watched the teenage girls. The father of Garret’s youth had cared nothing about decorating Christmas trees. That Harrison would be more concerned with covering up the knowledge of an illegitimate granddaughter than finding a way to bring her into the fold of the family.

  Initially, Harrison had paid no particular interest in his granddaughters, aside from the fact he was glad to see his sons finally producing heirs. There had been considerable grumbling that there were no sons to carry on the family name and Garret suspected Harrison’s growing irritation with Shelly was partially due to the fact she had failed to produce an heir.

  Garret had noticed a marked change in his father about two years earlier, around the same time the younger Harrison’s mental problems worsened and shortly before the stroke that had landed Harrison Senior in the wheelchair. Which of those two events was most responsible for his father’s change, Garret wasn’t sure, but he believed it was a little of both, along with the fact his father was now well into his nineties.

  “Is Kimmy coming for Christmas? That would be cool,” Sarah asked as she rummaged through a cardboard box on the floor next to the tree, looking at the ornaments.

  “We haven’t talked to her, but I
doubt it. She’s home now and has her own life.”

  “She’s a Coulson, she belongs here,” Harrison declared stubbornly.

  Sarah and Hannah exchanged knowing glances. In private, the two cousins discussed at length what their uncle had done. While the adults hadn’t allowed them to read the diaries, the girls had a general idea of what happened. The teenagers had each indulged in a bit of sleuthing, eavesdropping on conversations between their parents, and then shared what they learned with each other.

  “Dad, I think we need to give Kimmy a little time to get used to all this. We sent her some flowers and a note, letting her know we’re here for her,” Garret explained. The teenagers glanced at each other, neither mentioning the email they sent Kim.

  “You sent flowers? What in the hell good are flowers going to do?” Harrison grumbled.

  “Just Christmas flowers, Dad, with a letter. We didn’t want to overwhelm her right now.”

  “So, you were going for underwhelming? Hell, I think I’m going to take care of this myself.”

  “And just what do you plan to do?” Garret asked, somewhat intrigued.

  “I think I’ll take a trip to Arizona and talk some sense into that girl. She needs to understand her place is here.”

  Chapter 33

  It was almost Christmas Eve, and Kim realized she hadn’t sent out her traditional holiday greeting cards to her client list, which included buyers, sellers, and prospective clients she’d accumulated over the years while practicing real estate. It was a task typically slated for Thanksgiving week. Because of Carol’s death, the chore had completely slipped Kim’s mind.

  She briefly considered sending out an email greeting, yet many of those on her client list did not use email, and she preferred to send something clients could hold in their hands. As she pondered the pros and cons of this year’s obligatory holiday greeting, she glanced out the window and noticed the mail carrier. Assuming he had just dropped off the office mail, she went to retrieve it. Jean, who worked at the front desk, was already sorting through the envelopes.