Unbound Trilogy Boxset

by Coopmans, Kathy

  I clamp my eyes shut.

  “He isn’t coming for you. By now he’s bled to death.”

  Tears pool in my eyes. They sting. Not as bad as the crippling, gut-twisting bite in my chest. The kind that sets fire to everything inside of me and makes me want to give up and die. Here I am—at Shadow’s mercy, while Logan could be bleeding to death.

  No, I refuse to believe it. Gabe would make sure he, or Lane, anyone, got to Logan as soon as they could. Logan might be hurt; he isn’t dead like Shadow wants me to think.

  “You’re a liar, a woman beater, a rapist and when Logan finds you, you’ll be the one who dies. Logan. Logan Logan.” I screech his name over and over — the rope pulling my arms taut as I squirm to get free.

  Gathering up as much saliva in my dry mouth as I can. I rear my head back and spit in his face. I might be tied up, but I refuse to back down.

  Smirking, he shakes his head, reaches up and swipes my spit onto his finger and shoves it in his mouth.

  Nausea rolls, and I gag.

  This time I flinch when he grips hold of my chin, his mouth hovering over mine. “That mouth of yours is pushing my buttons. Shut your mouth. Where’s my money, Ellie? Do you have it? Does Renita, Norah? How about little Lexi? I want it; it’s mine the same as you are.”

  Terror bursts in my throat. It erupts with so much ugliness that I try to think of something else to stop my brain from firing off.

  Shadow’s mouth slams down on mine, his other hand grabbing my ass and pulling me into his body. It isn’t on instinct that makes me bite down on his lip; it’s the vile thought of his mouth touching the place that belongs to Logan.

  Laughing, he steps back and releases me, and all I can do is watch the blood drip down his chin.

  “Nice, you’ve gotten feisty on me. You can fight all you want. I know you are scared out of your ever-loving mind. It’ll be all the more fun when I fuck you.” His tongue sweeps across his lips as he rubs his hands down the back of my thighs.

  I’m not here. I’m not, I chant over and over to myself.

  I want to fall back into blackness so I can hide for good this time, but I know that I can’t because the only way to beat evil is to outsmart it and through the fog that is my mind, I’ll figure out a way to escape if it’s the last thing I do.

  God, please help me find the strength to deal with this cold-hearted truth. The kind that deprives you of your best life and replaces it with crippling reality.

  “You’ll never know if Logan is dead or not because you’re not getting away from me this time. I have you, Ellie, and I’m going to control you and take what I want. Defy me, mouth off to me, and I’ll take this before your body is ready to give it to me.” He cups me between my legs — revulsion tugs on my stomach.

  I watch in horror as Shadow’s features change to vicious in a matter of seconds. “You will beg for mercy, Ellie, you will tell me where my money is, and you’ll answer every question I ask, or when I return, I’ll make you. I was hoping not to have to do this because I want you to suffer the same as I did all the years we were a part, but you woke too soon.” He lifts a syringe, and a jolt of panic shoots through my body.

  “No.” My feet fly up and aim for his crotch, he’s too fast. The needle hits the side of my neck, and my body instantly goes lax. There’s no more pain. My mind though, it’s pulling memories from a locked box and placing them at the forefront of my vision.

  I jolt when bright lights shine in my face. Reality hits me in a place that could never heal.

  My broken heart.

  I tried to see in the dark, squinting my eyes, looking for a sign of light, but the only thing I see is the monster who stole my innocence.

  He looms over me with sharp fangs and evil in his eyes.

  “Baby girl, you need to let the doctor look at you. They need pictures; they need to check you over. Norah and I are right here, Ellie. We won’t leave your side.”

  Renita’s voice scarcely passes over the recollection of Shadow’s merciless laughter pounding through my skull. I could still smell him on me and taste his fingers on my lips where he’d silenced my pleas.

  I was never going to be able to wash his stench off of me. I was never going to be the same.

  I wanted to die.

  The air suddenly felt heavy, sluggish. I tried and successfully let my mind slither away.

  But it didn’t go to a happy dream. It went straight to my nightmare.

  Blood saturated my legs, arms, and face. The pain between my thighs burned as if someone set it on fire. It hurt so badly I could barely catch my breath as I crawled home.

  I’m going to be lost in a nightmare forever and always reliving what Shadow did to me. How could I have not seen it coming?

  I trembled as images of Shadow passed through my mind, only to stop, snarl, and promise I belonged to him now.

  A possession he was going to come back to claim.

  I shuffled farther into blackness, so far into the crevice I didn’t ever want to be found.

  Once I crept out; every exit was blocked by Shadow, who was going to haunt me, chase me and back me right back into the corner. He’ll crouch and wait until the time is right to snatch me and rape me again.

  I wanted to be back in my little corner and be me.

  I needed to run and hide somewhere else, and I wondered how bottomless the darkness was going to get before I saw the slightest shimmer of light. How far into it I could escape before Shadow found me.

  Every day blurred into the next. Every month, every year.

  I felt like a distortion of who I once was, not wanting to find my way back. Every dream was a nightmare, and I tried clearing my mind of it because I deserved a future. I deserved to be happy.

  I deserved to fulfill my dreams.

  “Ellie, please, honey. You need to wake up. The doctors and nurses need to speak to you. They need to run tests and clean you up. Let them, please.”

  My eyes sprung open, and that’s when I saw Shadow instead of a doctor or nurse. He was looming and hovering and waiting above me. He was going to grab me again.

  I had to run.

  All I could see was him and the way I shivered and shook and screamed when his rancid breath hit my neck, stubby fingers yanking my underwear off me and cupping me between my legs.

  “She’s crying; please give her a minute to calm down or something to ease her panic. I have you, Ellie. Go ahead and cry.” Norah started wiping away my tears. Holding my hand and telling me I was going to be okay.

  I sobbed. I tried stopping; I tried so hard to be strong. I didn’t want my ears to hear my sobs knowing Shadow had the power over me as he tore my dress and panties and slammed into me. I wanted to fall into a peaceful dream. To pretend this wasn’t real, that the man I feared and did my best to avoid hadn’t taken the most sacred thing from me and left scars that would last the rest of my life.

  But I heard. I heard everything from the attack blaring through my ears and embedding in my brain.

  I heard my body being ripped open as I listened to Shadow’s laughter and those god-awful grunts. All I could do was take it as I pinched my eyes closed, imagining the look of satisfaction on his face. This was one time I didn’t want my imagination to run away; I didn’t want this to be real.

  But it was.

  I didn’t want to cry anymore. Crying reminds me that tears filled my eyes and spilled down my cheeks as Shadow rammed into me with a brutality that I felt everywhere. When he was done, he became angry, and I kept my eyes closed as he turned me onto my back, lifted me in the air and beat me until my noodle-like legs gave out and I tumbled to the ground, my head flopping like a broken doll.

  I want to forget.

  “Shh, the quicker they do their job, the faster I can get you home,” Renita says, pushing my hair out of my face.

  “Home? I don’t want to go there. He’ll find me there. We have to run,” I screamed.

  I cringe when someone touches my thighs.

  I jerk,
my back arching when my legs are spread and something warm pressed against my tender thighs. Someone is talking; someone is washing me up.

  Oh, God. I want to die.

  I didn’t want to be here trapped in my mind. Reliving a nightmare that women think would never happen to them.

  A statistic. That’s what I’d become.

  A victim of a violent and brutal rape.

  Tattered and torn and bruised.

  Scars on the outside that would heal, the ones on the inside were going to tear apart, day after day — night after night and year after year for the rest of my life.

  As the tears continue, I allow my imagination to watch the young woman I used to be float away from my body, the only evidence of whoever she was going to become, was the steady thump of a fast heartbeat and the hot burning embers of air in a set of too tight lungs.

  I told her to fly away and find peace. That somehow, someway I would make sure she remained strong and vibrant and free. And, maybe someday we would meet again.

  Something cold touches me between my legs, and I jump. My eyes are flying open to that god-awful bright blinding light.

  The scents of antiseptic, sickness, cancer, diseases, and death slid down my throat with each strangled breath, as I squeezed my eyes shut against the onslaught of what happened to me.

  Reality. It is a cruel, cruel bitch.

  “Don’t touch me,” I screamed as hands pinned me down, and a woman’s unrecognizable voice told me to calm down.

  I didn’t want to calm down. I wanted to run. I wanted to be anywhere, but here where the woman was slipping something cold between my legs. It did nothing but cause the burn to become ten times worse.

  “Please,” I whimpered. “Don’t do this to me, don’t touch me down there. Shadow did, he hurt me. He stole my innocence, and I’ll never get it back.”

  Confusion and chaos. It hung in the air, the same as it’s doing now.

  That’s what Shadow does to you. He’s a walking denial that fucks with your mind.

  Chapter Four

  Logan

  A bright light shining in my eyes when I open them has me grinding my teeth. I squeeze them right back shut. My memory is coming back with a vengeance to maim and destroy. I try breathing through my nose as the rage surfaces, constricting my throat.

  My temper spikes. That need to demolish Shadow once and for all surges through my veins.

  The failure of not protecting Ellie as I promised hurts more than the physical pain coursing through my body. I wasn’t even going to be able to look at myself without seeing the guilt written across my face, especially if he hurts her or worse.

  “The fuck, if I’m in a hospital, I’ll kick someone’s ass.” I divert my gaze toward the light that’s pounding through my skull, realizing I’m in my bed.

  “Fuck, he has her.”

  My blood boils with the need to pummel Shadow’s fucking face. Every part of me tenses in worry, pumping through me, urging my body to push up and out of this bed. Fucked up thing; I have no idea where she is.

  Please baby, be alive.

  Ellie’s voice. I can’t hear it, but her scream, it slowly fills my ears for several drawn-out seconds, minutes. Hell, I don’t know how long, but it hits my eardrums and shakes them until I break away in violent shakes.

  My throat dries as I struggle to breathe. I’m sweating. My thoughts are scattered all over the damn place.

  That fucker shot me and left me swaying on the cusp of hell.

  “I told you you’d pay for what you’ve done. Don’t worry. I’ll take excellent care of what belongs to me before I cut Ellie to pieces. Isn’t that what you did with my sister? Took care of her before you decided you’d had enough? I could kill you right now, but I have plans to make you suffer. Payback’s a bitch, Logan. You started this war; I’m going to end it. Victoriously. Welcome to the prison of your mind, motherfucker. It’s worse than living behind bars.”

  Shadow’s words smash me in the head like a sledgehammer, they don’t crush my skull, they send terror and worry ricocheting throughout me, ripping through my guts.

  No one teaches you how to deal with those feelings that scare the hell out of you. No one tells you that terror can cause your heart to race and create a chilly sensation that travels up and down your arms. Not a soul lets you know you’ll get this tingling in your hands, feet, and legs that immobilize you in place when you are worried out of your goddamn mind. They don’t tell how you become light-headed with the helplessness that you’re stuck in a bed unable to do a thing.

  No. Feelings, they don’t give a fuck.

  They grow with each passing minute as if I’m strangling to death by the air around me. They pound through my veins, wrap around my ribs, squeezing the cage that surrounds my heart and lungs until I’m forced to take a breath.

  The worry is becoming so intense that I’m afraid of the outcome. My mind is quickly turning into a danger zone because once again, feelings don’t give a fuck if they destroy your way of thinking. I can tell you they enjoy tearing apart your guts and bleeding you out.

  Piece by piece.

  Weakness.

  Now isn’t the time to have it. But it’s there. The dam ready to burst and drain the blood from my face, the rage from my body and drown me.

  Blood pounds in my ears. Panic climbs with each passing second, and I swear to all things holy, I can hear the tick-tock of the clock back in New Orleans from here. An alarming reminder that with each tick, it drips another drop of fear into Ellie’s beautiful soul.

  “Ellie,” I groan, peeling my eyes wide open and preparing my mind for what lies ahead.

  An arm stops me from shooting upright as it pushes down on my stomach when a wave of pain through my shoulder feels like someone set a torch to my flesh.

  It’s exquisite and debilitating. It burns to the point I arch my back and clench my teeth to get through it.

  “Mother of God that hurts.” It’s the worst fiery sensation I’ve ever felt.

  It tears through my muscles as my heart pumps so hard it feels like it wants to jump out of my chest. I’m burning up as it crawls up my arm, plunging deep inside my bones.

  “Take it easy, Logan.” Fisting my hands, I try to force my body to relax. “Do you remember what happened?”

  Dazed, and not a bit surprised, I turn my head to the sound of Lane’s voice. My brother sits in a chair next to the bed; dark circles are under his eyes. A bruise is on his cheek. He looks like shit, much like me, I’m sure. There isn’t any other way to describe it.

  I remember it all — Lane’s phone call, running, the bullets. Not able to move. Shadow. Ellie with her face down beside me, holding my hand. My fucking dream about our mother. I’m not about to open up that can of worms with Lane. There’s too much of a different kind of suffering stored. The hell we went through though ended up at a happy ending. Angelo ended up being the first man I killed. Shot him point-blank in the head while he slept. Bastard never saw it coming.

  “Yeah, everything leading up to your face. Do me a favor and shut the blinds.” I let out a groan, then clench my teeth as the memory of wanting to feel the rain hits me. “Shit, I feel like I’m dying.”

  “For a minute, I thought you were dead. Scared the hell out of me finding you laying in the storm like that. Your shirt was soaked in blood. Face was blue. I don’t know if it was luck or what but sometime before I got here, the bleeding had stopped. You went into shock, and I couldn’t wake you. Then when you did, I tried holding you down so you wouldn’t hurt yourself worse. You decked me, asshole, which caused you to start bleeding again. For a man out of it, you sure have one hell of a right hook.” Lane shakes his head, picks up the remote for the blinds, points it toward the window and slowly they close.

  “Shit, I’m sorry.”

  “No need to apologize, Logan.”

  Right. I owe more apologies than I care to add up.

  “Where else besides my shoulder did he hit?” I was struck twice, that I recall
.

  “Two bullets went through the same shoulder. About an inch apart. There’s no significant damage. Nothing that time won’t heal.”

  Time? It isn’t going to pass quickly. It’s going to drag and drive me insane.

  I wasted so much of it during my life that whatever day it is might be my last tomorrow. The thought of not spending time with Ellie, the idea of her not breathing the same air makes me want to fucking die.

  “No wonder it burns like a bitch. Also, goes to show Shadow is still a lousy shot,” I mutter and wince. Asshole used to miss the target every time we practiced. “It wouldn’t have mattered if he had perfect aim, we both know why he shot me where he did.”

  He’s scared that if I find him, I’ll beat him to death.

  Coward is just another name to add on the list that makes up Shadow.

  Dragging in a breath, I take a look around the bedroom — the one I spent so much time visualizing how I wanted it to look. I drew the blueprint up myself, perfected it with my mind guiding my fingers. I loved the idea I was creating something. It had been a long time since I drew a damn thing. Once I had it right, I hired contractors to strip it down to the studs, along with every other room upstairs. I wasn’t sure what bedroom was Ellie’s, Shadow’s or Whitney’s, so I gutted them all. I made the entire back of the house the master bedroom with three sets of French doors that lead to a deck the same length of the house. The master bath has a claw foot tub set on a platform that faces the ocean.

  Ellie loved it. It put a smile on her face, and that smile took away a little of her heartache. I saw it the minute she took it all in. She loved the whole remodel and now she might never be able to enjoy it.

  I bought this house with a chunk of Whitney and Shadow’s money. Did it all under Whitney’s nose. Guess the joke is on me, she found out about it and told Shadow. Makes me wonder how long the bitch was conspiring, probably as long as me.