Urban Love Prophecy

by Jessica Ingro

  “Hey sugar,” a busty blonde, dressed the same as thong girl, purred as she ran her fingers up Jay’s arm.

  Where the hell did she come from? And what was she doing? I was sitting right there! It seemed as though I was invisible tonight.

  Although a part of me was thankful that I didn’t get to hear Jay’s answer to Marcus’ question, thanks to this chick, the other part of me was pissed about that fact.

  “Sup?” Jay lifted his chin toward her and waited for a reply, which was not the smart thing to do at the moment. He was on the fast track to being castrated before the night was over.

  “What’s your poison tonight?” She asked him and made to sit on his lap.

  “Excuse me?” I butted in and leaned over his leg, halting her progress. My patience had officially worn thin.

  “Poison,” she reiterated. “You want to join in too sweetie? I don’t mind a little three way.”

  “Wow,” I murmured as my eyes widened. This was the first time I had been propositioned by a slut wanting in Jay’s pants. Normally, they waited until I turned my back. Although there were the scant few who tried to hook up with him in front of me.

  “Not now, Sheila.” Jay gave her a hard look to which she looked disappointed. Then she exited the room on a strut.

  “Sheila?” I asked him. I did nothing to hide the irritation in my voice. I was beyond livid, and he needed to know that.

  “Yeah, so?”

  “How do you know her?” My eyes narrowed in a clear warning.

  “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.” He downed his beer and with the flick of a finger another one showed up. It didn’t surprise me that I hadn’t noticed someone waiting in the wings to serve him. I had long since lost track of all the people moving in and out of the room.

  “That’s just great. What if I weren’t here? Would you have taken her up on her offer?”

  The thought of that skank sitting on Jay’s lap made my stomach clench. Just imagining his hands on her and what they would have done together was making my head spin. I was losing control of my temper way too fast, and it was about to explode.

  “Fuck this.” His arm left from around me. Instantly, the air between us turned frigid.

  “Do you want a private spot to talk?” Marcus nudged thong girl. “Lulu, show them where their room is for the night. They can talk there.”

  “Not necessary,” Jay bit out. “Come on, T.”

  He grabbed my arm and dragged me up the stairs to the main floor of the house and outside to the front stoop like I was a petulant child. I stopped on the landing and pulled my arm from his grasp.

  “Stop!” I yelled when he tried pulling me again.

  “You’re leaving. I’m not dealing with your attitude anymore.”

  “My attitude? You have got to be kidding me! That bitch was practically rubbing on you like a cat in heat right in front of me and all you did was tell her not now! Let’s talk about how fucked up that is!”

  “You don’t get the right to question what I say or do. You knew who I was going into this. You knew I didn’t want a relationship.”

  “So that’s it?”

  “Yeah.” He crossed his arms and gave me that hard look he always gives to people he’s trying to intimidate. I so did not think so.

  “That’s just great. Way to give up like a coward, Jay. Things get real for a brief moment and you close down. Don’t you think I deserve more than that?”

  “It’s always got to be about you, doesn’t it? What about me, T? Did you ever stop to think about what it feels like for me to come here and see my boy runnin’ guns and sellin’ drugs? Did you even bother to consider how it would feel for me when you turned all high and mighty princess instead of being down with supporting me? You think I couldn’t tell you were judging everyone back there?”

  “How the hell was I supposed to know any of this? You never tell me anything! I had no idea Marcus was in a wheelchair, let alone why he was disabled. I had no idea any of the stuff he’s into. You should have told me so that I wasn’t blindsided when I came in here.”

  The fact that we were having this conversation was beyond comprehension. His initial reaction was to close himself off, and I wasn’t sure if I could help him break that cycle. I had my own problems that I focused on, and it was so easy to let that behavior slide. I always said I’d tackle it the next time he did it. Now here we were arguing over something that should have easily been settled.

  “Bullet in the back severed his spine. What he’s got going on is dangerous shit. I watched my boy go down that night. It would have been me if I had been five minutes sooner.”

  “What?” I breathed. “You said you grew up wanting more than the street life.”

  “Wanting and doing are two totally different things.” He gave me that hard stare again and I fought the flinch my body wanted to make. I had to support him. Not be turned off by his past choices.

  “Why don’t you try to help him get out of this life?” I asked. “It seems to me that if you love someone enough you try to help them no matter what.”

  Jay let out a humorless laugh. “So naïve, T. You really did live in an ivory tower growing up. I’ve tried so many times to talk sense into that fucker. He finally told me to shut up or stay the fuck away. I’d never be able to live with myself if I walked out of his life and then got the call that he went down.”

  “Understood,” I murmured. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this? What’s the point in hiding it from me?”

  “Honestly? I wanted to see how you’d react. This is how I grew up, T. Guns, drugs, hookers—they were all around and I dabbled in all of it. Sold drugs so my ma had help paying the bills. Shot at assholes who thought they were harder than me. And I thrust my cock in dirty pussy for years. Is that what you want to hear?”

  I couldn’t help the flinch that resulted from that admittance. Maybe I was better off in complete ignorance of where he came from. Not having to deal with the ugly truth seemed a lot easier at the moment. I didn’t like thinking of him doing any of that.

  “That’s what I thought. I’ve been waiting for the day when you wake up and decide your time with a brother from the wrong side of the tracks has been fun, but you’re over it. No one thinks we go good together. Everyone, including your family, looks at you and thinks you either want my money or you’re slummin’. Which is it, T? ‘Cause it’s always one or the other.”

  “That’s fucked up and you know it. So what if no one thinks we match. What matters is what we think. Until this recent drama, things have been good between us.” I was now on the defensive. Him demeaning what we shared just pissed me off.

  “Maybe it’s best we leave things that way then. I don’t want to deal with these headaches. I sure as fuck don’t want to keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

  “That’s no way to live, Jay. You need to have faith in us. You’re what has the power to ruin us. No one or nothing else,” I argued.

  “So you’re telling me that if I was still living in the hood with a glock tucked in my pants, you’d still be interested?” His tone was taunting, like he was daring me to argue this point with him.

  “Honestly? If you had walked into Lace with ten dollars in your pocket and struck up a conversation with me, I’d still have talked to you. If you had pursued me the way you did, I still would have gone to breakfast with you. As long as you were you. Not the guy in front of me with a giant chip on his shoulder. I don’t care where you come from, Jay. I just care about you.”

  “I call bullshit.”

  “Wow. What little faith you have in me. You honestly think it’s all about money and prestige with me? Have you not been paying any attention these last few months?”

  “So if I couldn’t take you shopping—buy you Hermes and Jimmy Choos—give you champagne and a fly ride, you’d still be standing where you are?”

  “I never asked you for any of that. I didn’t need my own Bentley. Jeff’s was serving its purpose
.” Jay bought me a Bentley to replace Jeff’s just last week. It was a great surprise, but one that wasn’t necessary. I’d drive a fucking Honda and still be happy sleeping next to him at night if that’s what life had in store for us.

  “You didn’t protest too much. Took all that shit I’ve laid at your feet.”

  “Oh my God! Do you hear yourself? I’m sorry, but I always thought it was common courtesy to say thank you and accept a gift graciously instead of throwing it back in someone’s face. You need to decide if you truly believe this crazy shit you’re spewing,” I shouted, beyond done with this conversation.

  Jay said nothing. Just stared at me with cold eyes.

  “So what’s it going to be?” I took a step closer to him, but his belligerent stance never wavered. I placed my hand on his forearm, but he shook me off.

  “Your bags are still in the car. The driver will take you back to my ma’s. I’ll see you later.”

  Ouch. That hurt far more than I wanted to think about. Tears swam in my eyes, and I had to blink a few times to clear them enough that they wouldn’t spill down my cheeks. Even in my anger, I could feel that cutting deep.

  “What happened to the sweet, loving Jay from this morning when I was saying goodbye to my father? Huh?”

  Again he said nothing.

  “Fuck you!” I felt my chin quiver as I said the words. Hurt beyond belief, I stormed to the waiting SUV. Sometimes in life you have to retreat and come up with a new strategy. I’d take this opportunity to do just that. Tomorrow I’d fight to get him to see reason. Hopefully, by then, he’d wake up and stop being such an ass.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  The front door opened just as I reached the front walk, and Sylvia stepped into the doorway. The look of concern on her face was almost my undoing. I swallowed hard past the unshed tears that were rapidly building behind a lump in my throat. On the car ride back to her house my anger subsided, and an overwhelming sadness took its place.

  I was humiliated by the way Jay acted. The way he alluded to the fact I was just another one of his groupies—nothing but another piece of ass—hurt worse than I could have imagined. He meant everything to me, and I was beginning to wonder if I meant as much to him. Knowing that this could possibly be a one way type of love made pain pierce my heart.

  We had never declared we loved each other, but I had believed he felt the same way about me that I did him. How could I not with the way he treated me when we were alone? I had always assumed that the way he sometimes joked in front of his buddies was just that—joking. I never really let that stuff get to me because I knew at the end of the day he would be himself with me. Now I was second guessing that mentality.

  What he said tonight was anything but a joke. Jay truly believed the fact that we grew up differently was a deal breaker for us. I couldn’t agree with that. I believed in love enough to know that those things didn’t matter.

  “You okay?” Sylvia asked as I made it to the door.

  Not wanting to speak and betray how devastated I actually was, I just nodded and gave her a small smile.

  Jay must have told her about the fight and that I was heading back. The last thing I needed was pity from anyone, especially his mother. It was embarrassing enough to know Jay and his friends were probably laughing about me after I left Marcus’ house.

  Then again, the one person who could give me any insight into Jay was the woman who raised him. She knew him better than anyone. It was a compelling argument in favor of confiding in her.

  “I’m okay,” I forced out around that damn lump.

  “Jay said you weren’t feeling well.” She reached out and felt my forehead for a fever. Then her hand slid down my cheek to cup it tenderly.

  That’s when I lost it. Ugly tears streamed down my face as sobs wracked my body.

  “Oh dear,” she murmured after she enveloped me in a warm embrace. I hadn’t had this type of motherly affection in far too long. I found myself craving it with a desperation that was surely unhealthy. I clung to her like my life depended on it. I never thought of myself as an overly needy person, but my current display was proving that theory wrong.

  “What’s the matter, Tori? You’re not sick. Are you?” She asked softly.

  I sniffled and shook my head, but said nothing.

  “Come on. Let’s get you inside.” Sylvia shuffled me through the front door and into the family room, where she settled me onto the couch with a fluffy blanket, a box of tissues and a cup of tea. It helped soothe my frayed nerves a little, but not much.

  “Tell me what happened,” she prompted.

  I sniffled and took in a shuddered breath. “I’m not sure if I can talk about it with you. No offense, but Jay might not like me talking about our problems with his mom.”

  She waved off my concerns. “My son doesn’t know what’s best for him most of the time. Besides, this is about you. It’s pretty obvious that you need to get this off your chest. I know better than anyone how hardheaded my son can be.”

  She listened in earnest as I gave her the history of how Jay and I met, the Nessy incident, Monica’s accusations, how lately I have felt like Jay was two different people—one with me and one when we were with his friends—and about how closed off he was about his life. I ended with how blindsided I had been when we got to Marcus’ house.

  “That boy…” She trailed off and shook her head looking disappointed. “Let me tell you a story, sweetie.”

  “Okay.” I curled up on the couch and waited.

  “Jayson had a tough time of it growing up. I was all he had, and he was all I needed. I went out on two dates with his father when I was eighteen. Such magnetism he had.” She gave a sad smile, and her eyes took on a cloudy look like she was remembering something bittersweet. “I fell in love right away. He was everything I had grown up wanting in a man.

  “Living in Harlem and growing up with my grandfather who was both Latin and a devote devout Catholic, I had a strict upbringing. So when I turned eighteen and found Darnell, I went against my family’s wishes and saw him anyways. Long story short, I learned the hard way that I should have listened to my family. On our second date, when I wasn’t ready for sex, he raped me.”

  I gasped and grabbed her hand to show her support. How awful. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

  “Don’t feel sorry for me child. Out of that hideous experience came something beautiful. Jayson was everything to me. Still is. When I found out I was pregnant, my family disowned me for being soiled. Everything I did from that point forward was for my son. I wanted to give him a good life. I wanted him to know love and learn how to be the kind of man I had originally thought his father to be. Never once did I look at him and regret my decision to have him. Never once.

  “That doesn’t mean it was easy. I did the best I could, but money was tight. We lived in the projects surrounded by drugs, pimps and violence. I sheltered him from it for as long as I could, but once he turned fifteen I noticed a change in him. He became angry and drifted. His grades started to slip and he began hanging out with a dangerous crowd. When Marcus got shot, it was the wakeup call Jayson needed. He went back to focusing on his music and got his GED. He turned his life around.”

  She paused and took a sip of her tea. I could see the sadness take over her features as she suddenly appeared older than she had earlier.

  “Jay never told me about his past. Not until he mentioned some of it tonight. I had always assumed that he rose above it all, like he alluded to.”

  “I suppose he would keep that from you.”

  “What does that mean?” I said more defensively than I should have. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be disrespectful.”

  She shook her head and gave me a light laugh. “You’re fine. What I meant was you’re a good girl. All class and poise. Of course he didn’t want to share his sordid past with you. Part of him is ashamed that he behaved so poorly and did things he could have spent years in prison for. My guess is Jay wanted you to look at hi
m as he is now. Successful and caring. There’s no shame in that. I truly believe he would have eventually shared his past with you.”

  “I want him to trust me. It hurts that he doesn’t.” I lowered my head and picked at the blanket trying to contain my emotions.

  “I’m sure it does. You need to understand though that he hasn’t had the best track record with women. The few he’s tried to make a future with have all crumbled under the pressure of being with him, one way or another. It isn’t easy to love my son. I know this because I do love him. Unconditionally. And I can say without a doubt that when he loves you back, it makes any shit he throws your way worth it in the end. You just need to be strong and stick by him. He’s anything but perfect and he’s going to screw up. As are you. The question is, are the good times going to be worth all the bad times? Only you can answer that for yourself.”

  “Hmmm.” I pressed my lips into a thin line and considered her words. For as upset as tonight made me, I knew I could eventually get past it. I loved him and when things were good, they were really good. I had no doubt that Jay and I were meant to be together. I believed in fate and even though it could be a bitch and a whore wrapped in one, it had still brought him and I together for a reason.

  “I think I should call him,” I said with a bite of my lip. The thought of him telling me off when I tried to make things right between us had me filled with fear. Fear that the damage caused tonight couldn’t be undone.

  “That’s a very wise decision.” She patted my hand and stood up. “I’m going to go to bed. Give you some privacy.”

  I watched as she walked towards the stairs leading up to the bedrooms. She turned back at the last second and stared at me for a moment.

  “Tori? I want you to know that I’m overjoyed knowing my son found you. Make him happy and love him the way he needs. I promise you won’t regret it.”

  With that she was gone.

  Taking a deep breath to calm my wild nerves, I dialed his cell number. After a few rings it went to voicemail. “It’s me. Please call me. I don’t want to leave things like this. I miss you.”