Artifacts

by Pete Catalano

  “Butt-Kiss didn’t teach us anything,” Mouth said. “He just spent the entire hour looking at himself in the mirror while we ran laps and Jerkin told him how great he is.”

  “What about the Lost Boys?” Tank asked. “I mean, I think it’s cool and all, but I’m not sure why they’re here or who sent them.”

  “Maybe they’re the only ones who could handle Hook,” I said.

  “We have to find the Lost Boys and let them know we’re on their side,” Korie said.

  I shook my head. “I think we have to stick with our original plan and try to find the artifact before anyone else does. If we have it … the Lost Boys will come find us.”

  “We better start looking for artifacts again,” Korie said. “If one of them really is the magic key to some kind of treasure, we better make sure we find it.”

  At that moment, one of the metal doors leading into the gym creaked open, and several quick squeaks followed as someone took a few steps across the shiny wooden floors.

  “That can’t be good,” Mouth said. “Tank, go find out what that is.”

  Tank slipped down through the opening in between the aluminum planks of the bleachers and dropped out of sight to the gym floor.

  The squeaks moved toward us, slow and consistent, as whoever it was made their way toward our side of the gym and the lower level of the bleachers.

  “Who do you think it is?” Korie asked, sliding closer to me.

  “It doesn’t matter who it is,” Mouth said. “Tank’ll take care of it.”

  “I think I’ll shut the computer down and put it back into my bag,” Crunch said. “This way when I have to run, it doesn’t matter how much I flail.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed. “You’re like a Muppet when you run.”

  “Crunch is like a Muppet when he runs, and eats, and breathes.” Mouth laughed.

  The curtains near the base of the bleachers moved. I was hoping it was Tank.

  The lights snapped off in the gym.

  The small lights in each of the bleacher steps cast an eerie glow before us.

  Across the gym, another door slammed. The noise was followed by the sound of thunder as the polyurethane wheels of several skateboards glided across the hardwood floors.

  “S-s-s-stay away from me!” a voice high-pitched whined in the dark. “You remember what happened to you at Skull Rock.”

  “That’s Smee,” Korie whispered, “I’d know that pitiful squeak anywhere.”

  “What’s Skull Rock?” Mouth said.

  “Neverland, nerd,” Crunch said. “Haven’t you been paying attention?”

  “Captain’s not here this time, Smee,” a voice answered him.

  “Don’t need the captain,” Smee chattered. His voice was low and he sounded nervous.

  We heard Smee yell again.

  “What’s happening now?” Mouth asked.

  “The way he’s yelling, it might be the Grumpkins,” Crunch said matter-of-factly.

  “They would totally attack Smee,” Korie said. “But they don’t glide. They lumber …”

  “They stampede,” Mouth added. “They could do some damage if they weren’t happy.”

  Crunch agreed. “And Smee’s pretty terrible at making kids happy.”

  A few moments later, the lights popped back on. Tank was standing in the middle of the court, alone, with no one around him. Smee was gone and so were the kids and the skateboards.

  “You okay?” I yelled down to Tank.

  “Yeah,” he said. “But I’m not really sure what just happened.”

  We thundered down the steps of the bleachers, pounding the aluminum plank steps hard.

  “Where’d they go?” Korie asked.

  Tank shrugged. “I don’t know. One minute I was standing in the middle of a ton of people, the next minute the lights came on … and I was alone.”

  “See, Tank, I give you one job to do,” Mouth said.

  “Maybe we should get back out to our bikes to make sure that nobody decided to take them or break them,” Korie said.

  My head snapped up.

  Halfway through the run, we let Crunch pass us so we could watch him Muppet-flail his way down the hall and out the doors. When you’re in sixth grade, even under the most dangerous circumstances, you can always take time for a good laugh at someone else’s expense.

  Crashing through the steel doors at the end of the hallway, we ran over to our bikes and found them in the same condition we had left them in. Now we had to get a plan.

  “Any ideas on where we go from here?” I asked.

  “All the good places have probably been tried by now,” Korie said.

  “So we have to try all the not so good places first,” Tank said. “The places that are so gross that nobody would ever want to step foot into them.”

  “Yeah.” Mouth laughed, “like Crunch’s room.”

  Everybody laughed and I think it was something we all needed.

  “How about out by the Six Mile Creek Greenway,” Crunch said, and then covered his head, waiting to get pounded.

  “That’s not such a terrible idea,” I said. “I’ve found great stuff out there before.”

  “Yeah, people have been using the greenway as a dump for years,” Mouth said. “There’s a ton of junk out there, but every once in a while, there’s that one thing that you want to take home, clean up, and smash your brother in the back of the head with.”

  Tank smiled. “I was thinking the very same thing.”

  “Has anybody been through the forest on the back of the property to see what’s out there?” Korie asked.

  “Are you crazy!” Crunch said abruptly. “I’ve heard that the forest is ginormous and beyond it is death and destruction and devastation, and a bunch of other d words.”

  Mouth put his arm around Crunch’s shoulders. “Crunch, I can tell you where you can see things that are a lot scarier than anything in that forest.”

  “Really?” Crunch gasped. “Where?”

  Mouth waved him closer. “Look in the mirror.”

  “Cut it out!” Crunch yelled, pushing him away.

  Mouth raised his hands. “I just tell the truth.”

  “Oh, yeah.” Crunch looked for something really good to say. “Wait until you need help.”

  “That’s why I let Tank hang out with me,” Mouth said quickly. “Not only do I feel sorry for him for being so Tank-like, but he comes in handy when I need a little extra power.”

  “Here’s a little extra power,” Tank said, punching Mouth in the back as he walked past.

  “See, Crunch,” Mouth squeaked, trying to catch his breath, “now that’s brotherly love.”

  “Can we get going now?” Korie asked. “We’re going to have to be home soon and you can still beat the heck out of each other on the way.”

  Tank jumped on his bike. We scrambled to our bikes and rode right behind him.

  Even though we laughed when Mouth would bust on Tank, we also knew that if we wanted to get in to the forest at the back of Six Mile Creek Greenway and then back out again, Tank had to either be leading us … or following closely behind.

  Chapter Twelve

  Six-Mile Creek Greenway is a path traveling along creek beds and through a densely wooded forest just south of town made of wood and pavement. Advertised as a way to “get back to nature,” we usually went out there to play war or hide-and-go-seek or to hunt down the snakes and coyotes that were supposed to be running wild.

  Riding in a pack, Tank took the lead, as usual. Korie and I were right behind him, with Mouth and Crunch bringing up the rear, swerving from side to side, their conversations and their heads filled with Lost Boys and fairy tales.

  After a couple of blocks, we cut through every side street, back alley, baseball field, strip mall, and park we could find. Finally reaching the dirt road leading to the greenway, we swerved to a stop at the entrance, kicking up enough dust and gravel to make it look like there
were a hundred of us.

  “It looks pretty quiet,” Mouth said, watching the path as it disappeared around the first curve. “Crunch, why don’t you ride up ahead and see if you live to tell about it. Scream really loud if it’s an ambush so the rest of us can make sure we can get away and call for help.”

  Crunch glared at Mouth.

  “Idiot,” Korie said to Mouth as she rode her bike past him.

  “What?” Mouth said. “What did I say?”

  Rolling back and forth on my bike, I stared at the greenway as it twisted and turned, winding this way and that until the start of a path appeared that I didn’t remember seeing before. It cut through the woods right before the turn and disappeared.

  “Mouth, I’m sorry to say this, but we’re going to use you as bait.”

  Tank laughed. “I like the sound of that.”

  “I like the sound of when you shut up,” Mouth said.

  I ignored him and continued. “If you ride along the path and around the curve—”

  “Where I’ll probably die,” Mouth added.

  “Where you’ll probably die,” I agreed, not missing a beat. “The rest of us will cut down that path on the right and meet you on the other side. If there’s somebody waiting for you, we’ll be there to help. If there’s not, then we’ll just keep going.”

  “What if they kill me and leave before you can save me?” Mouth asked.

  Tank laughed. “We’ll send them a thank you note and keep going.”

  “Are we sure it’s safe?” Korie asked.

  “It’s just Mouth,” Crunch said.

  I looked back down the path. “It should be.”

  “Should?” Mouth repeated. “I think you should have your head examined. You’re not using me for anything, much less bait. Hey, somebody stole Bartholomew while you were supposed to be watching him. I can only imagine what’ll happen if somebody takes me.”

  I shot a look at Korie. “They’ll give you back.”

  “Come on, Mouth,” Tank said, starting down the path, grabbing Mouth’s handlebars, and dragging him along. “It’s time for you to be a hero.”

  Korie, Crunch, and I followed them.

  At the edge of the path, Tank let go of Mouth’s handlebars, gave him a big push, and we watched as he continued around the turn. Dropping our bikes just inside the entrance, we cut across, trying to catch up with Mouth.

  “It’s really creepy in here,” Korie said, swiping her hands in front of her face and swatting at the bugs and anything that might be hanging from the trees.

  Crunch agreed. “I betcha there’s a ton more things looking at us than we’re looking at.”

  The path split up into three different directions.

  Tank took the one closest to Mouth and the road, Crunch took the next one in, and Korie and I took off on our own.

  “Don’t lose me,” Korie said, grabbing a handful of my shirt.

  I laughed. “I won’t. Don’t worry. We’ll be fine,” I whispered, taking my eyes off the path and turning to look at Korie to make sure she was okay.

  The moment I turned my head back, I realized why you don’t take your eyes off a path in the woods. Stepping through a section choked with cobwebs, I freaked out, tearing them off my face, out of my hair and dancing like I was on fire.

  Once I was finished and sure they were off me, I remembered I wasn’t alone. Hearing my screams, Tank and Crunch ran over to find us and now all three of them were watching me spaz out through my epic battle with the webs.

  “Are you all right?” Korie asked slowly.

  “Yeah,” I said, nearly out of breath and not able to get rid of the grossness of the feeling of the webs wrapping around me. “Any way we can forget the spazzing out ever happened?”

  “Dude, not a chance.” Crunch giggled. His smartphone video camera was still rolling. “I’ll get like a bazillion hits on YouTube and I’m downloading it as we speak.”

  Tank laughed so hard tears rolled down his face as he tried to catch his breath.

  Korie looked back toward the path. “Hey, where’s Mouth?”

  Tank turned toward the pavement. “He’s right …”

  I looked past him. “I thought I saw him coming around the corner.”

  “Well he’s not there now,” Tank said. “Come on.”

  Tank ran down the path.

  Of course, we were right behind him, Korie showing that hurdler speed, me trying to keep up with her, and Crunch Muppet-flailing away, trying to keep his pants up as he ran.

  We ran through ruts, over logs I knew for a fact had snakes under them, ducked under cobwebs, branches, and any kind of anything that was hanging or growing or living in the trees that I didn’t want touching me.

  Finally, we made it out to the boardwalk in the greenway.

  “Do you see him?” Tank asked.

  “Nope,” Crunch said. “Knowing Mouth, though, he’s probably hiding somewhere in the bushes, watching us and giggling.”

  “I don’t think he’s hiding,” I said, pointing to his bike sticking out of the undergrowth farther down the path. It was turned upside down, the wheel still spinning like Mouth had been snatched off of it while it was still moving.

  Tank was really mad.

  Storming over to the bike, he stopped the tire from spinning as he looked around the ground for any trace of which way they had gone. Frustrated, he picked up the bike and tossed it to the side. “No footprints, broken branches, or tamped down grass. Nothing to show us which way they took Mouth.”

  Crunch, Korie, and I helped him look, hoping to find something that would give us an answer. “Sorry, Tank …” I started to say when I felt like we were being watched. Looking up, I saw a few structures, each one connected to the other by bridges crisscrossing through the canopies of the trees. “Up!” I shouted.

  “What?” Korie asked.

  “They took Mouth up.” I pointed to a series of ropes, walkways, and makeshift zip lines hanging high above us. “That’s how they grabbed him and got him out of here without a trace.”

  “Of course, they’re living in the trees,” Crunch said, slapping himself in the head with the palm of his hand. “That’s where the Lost Boys live in Neverland.”

  “And that’s where they feel the safest,” Tank agreed. “We have to go after him.”

  I cracked up. “That’s easy for you to say. The only one who doesn’t have a problem going up Butt-Kiss’s Rope of Ruin in gym class. Crunch isn’t getting an inch off the ground.”

  “I can do it,” Crunch protested, running toward a rope hanging four feet off the ground, jumping into the air … and missing it completely.

  He face-planted into the ground.

  “Ooooh,” Crunch moaned, his face shmooshed into the dirt. “That hurt!” He didn’t say anything for a moment. “I got it,” Crunch muttered, waving from the ground. “I’m almost there.”

  “We can pull him up,” Tank said quickly. “He can’t weigh more than …”

  “A thousand pounds?” I said.

  “Guys, I can do this,” Crunch said, grabbing the end of the rope, wrapping his legs around it, struggling to hold his weight on the rope much less climb up to the bridge. He pulled, tugged, yanked, and still hovered only an inch from the ground.

  “Give him a boost,” Korie said.

  “A boost?” Tank laughed. “He’s going to need a crane … or maybe a rocket launcher.”

  “A boost,” Crunch repeated, nearly out of breath, taking big gulps of air, his face a bright red. “A boost would be good.”

  “He’s going to explode,” I said.

  “Oh, this is ridiculous!” Korie said. “The three of us will get up into the trees and get Mouth. Crunch, keep going through the woods until you get to the other side and wait for us.”

  “If you insist.” Crunch dropped off the rope, wheezing loudly as he collapsed to the ground.

  “That’s the only way to do it,” I said.
>
  Crunch stood up, brushed himself off, waved good-bye, and then stumbled down the path. Any shred of dignity was left in the dirt behind him. “Hurry up, though,” Crunch called back to us. “I’ll slice through these woods at blinding speed and I don’t want to have to wait.”

  Once Crunch was out of sight, Tank, Korie, and I looked into the trees and then at the rope that had given Crunch such a hard time.

  Tank was first up. He jumped on the rope as high as he could, and then pulled himself into the trees with his arms, not using his legs at all.

  Once he got up to the bridge and flipped over the edge, he dropped down two longer lengths of rope. Korie grabbed one and I grabbed the other. Pulling them tight, we used them to walk up the side of the tree.

  It was easy at first … then, it started getting harder.

  Finally, after like an hour, we made it to the top.

  “I’m going to die,” I said, burying my head into my arms as they rested on the edge of the rope handrail. “My arms are going to fall right out of their sockets, drop onto this bridge, and then I’m going to die.” I saw Korie standing on the other side of Tank, rubbing her hands, but not complaining a bit.

  A big smile came across my face. “Hey, Tank, that wasn’t too bad. Let’s do it again.” My mouth was moving waaaaay faster than my brain.

  “These bridges and walkways are unbelievable,” Korie said. “It’s like they built their own city thirty feet off the ground.”

  “It must have taken them months to put this all together,” I said, running my hand along one of the rails. I followed it up to a tree house standing ten feet higher than we were.

  Korie watched me take a step toward it. “Maybe we can come back once all the treasure hunting is done and spend some time up here.”

  “It looks like the bridge we’re on runs through the woods and connects to a bunch more up ahead,” Tank said. “Let’s follow it for a while and see what’s on the other end.”

  “I hope Crunch is okay,” Korie said.

  “I’m sure he’ll be—” I was interrupted by the sound of Crunch’s voice echoing through the woods. Looking down, there he was, jumping up and down and waving his arms.