Awake Asleep Dreaming Dead

by John Siwicki

  What’s he holding?

  It’s a trophy, Tom said as the crowd cheered and clapped.

  The man speaking held up the trophy.

  What do you think? Sam asked. Give this place a go, or find another one?

  You’re driving, Tom said.

  What do you want to do? Lori?

  I’m just tagging along, so any place is okay with me.

  It looks a little crowded, Sam said. Let’s take a drive through town, and if we can’t find anything better, we’ll come back here.

  I like that idea, Tom said.

  Sam got back on the road downtown, and cruised along Main Street. Houses lined both sides of the road, some small and some old, and at one time this might have been the main part of town. Sam followed the road down a steep hill into the business section of town.

  Okay, what’s it going to be? Where do we eat?

  Anything’s fine with me, Lori said. Really, I can eat anything

  No, you have to choose.

  What about that place over there? Tom asked, then pointed to a seafood restaurant with a full parking lot of cars, and a red neon lobster light above the door.

  Looks okay to me, Lori said.

  But, do you want to eat there?

  Yeah, sure, she said.

  Sam pulled in and parked. Lori, I think you made a good choice. Another sign said, WELCOME, and flashed, LAKESIDE, in a cascading waterfall of golden letters.

  Where’s the lake? Sam asked. Why call a restaurant lakeside if there’s no lake?

  Who cares, the fish come from a lake, and that’s all that matters. Let’s go in, Tom said, I’m starving.

  Looks like a cozy place, Lori said.

  Let’s head inside, Sam said.

  As they walked in they saw rough wooden walls decorated with a mish-mash of sea and fishing ornaments. Nets, rope, poles, and loads of gimcrack caught their eye. It was in and around the bar where customers sat and drank. The waiter greeted them at the door. Evening, table for three?

  Yes, three, Sam said. Can we sit over there in the back? How about that table in the corner? It looks nice.

  In the corner, Tom said, that’s a good idea, so we’ll know what’s behind us.

  They followed the waiter discussing the seating arrangements in a low tone.

  After they sat, the waiter handed out the menus. How about a drink before dinner?

  Sure, Tom said, I’d like a beer.

  I knew you were going to say that, Sam said.

  That makes you a mind reader, Tom said. You’re driving, and I know you like to take it easy on the alcohol, so I’ll do the drinking for both of us.

  I’m only having one glass. Got work to do tomorrow, and you offered to come along, so don’t bitch and complain when I wake you up at 5:30.

  I’ll be ready to go when you are, Tom said. Are you an early riser, Lori?

  Not really.

  How about a drink?

  Okay, I’ll have a glass of beer.

  Tom signaled to a waiter, then held up his hand. We’ll have three beers.

  Okay, the waiter said, and nodded.

  Remember, we’re getting up early to catch the morning light, Sam said, then a look of concern flashed across his face after Lori covered her mouth with her hand, and let out a gasp. Lori? What’s wrong? Her eyes were wide open, her face looked stunned, and her breathing erratic. She let out short gasps. What’s the matter, Lori? Are you feeling okay? What’s wrong?

  Tom put his hand on Lori’s shoulder, nudged her, and asked, You okay?

  She raised her hand and pointed at the bar. He’s here.

  What? Sam said confused. Who’s here? Sam and Tom looked in the direction of the bar where Lori’s hard stare was fixed. She trembled, stunned, and didn’t make a sound. The episode wasn’t noticed by any customers in the restaurant—everyone went on eating.

  That’s Holiday, Tom said.

  How the hell did he get here? Sam whispered.

  I wonder how he got here so fast, Tom said.

  You know him? Lori asked.

  Yeah, we know him, Sam said.

  How? Lori asked.

  We picked him up yesterday and gave him a ride, Sam said.

  You gave him a ride?

  We camped one night, then ditched him the next day, Sam said. He’s crazy, and I knew it was a mistake right after we picked him up. He started waving a gun around, told us about being in prison, and tried to rob us the next morning. Tom clubbed him with a tree limb, and tied him to a tree in the woods.

  He’s the guy I ran away from. The one following me. I thought I’d gotten away from him.

  Let’s leave, Sam said, and grabbed the check. I’ll take care of this. You guys go to the car and wait for me.

  Sliding the chairs back in unison like an army officer had entered the room, Sam, Tom, and Lori stood.

  Too bad we’re leaving. I was looking forward to having a nice dinner, Tom said.

  Sam took the bill to the waiter. We’ve changed our mind, we’re going somewhere else. This should cover the beer, and here’s a tip for you. Then Sam stepped out of the restaurant, and crossed the parking lot following after Tom and Lori. He hurried into the car as Holiday step out of the restaurant. Holiday stood in front of the restaurant watching. He had a deadly gaze as they drove away, like a laser burning the night.

  Sam put the car into first gear, the engine growled as Sam floored it. Lori turned, and looked through the rear window with her eyes locked on Holiday. Sam hit second gear, then slammed through third and fourth. The engine echoed in the air as Holiday’s outline shrunk in the distance, but his image would never leave.

  I don’t like this, Lori said. What do we do now? He’ll never stop.

  He’ll keep following us. He won’t stop. I know he won’t.

  Let’s stop at a fast food joint, pick up some food, and eat at the hotel. He doesn’t know where we’re staying.

  He’ll find us, Lori said.

  Sam looked at Lori. What is he, some kind of supernatural freak?

  If he comes after us, I’ll make him sorry he does, Tom said. I guarantee it!

  GUIDE

  In the car Sam asked, Still coming along tomorrow, Lori? Sure, she said.

  Okay, I’ll wake you up at six o’clock, and we’ll drive to the architectural school. We’ll be there all day, so bring whatever you need along.

  Okay, I’ll get ready tonight after we get back to the hotel.

  How about you, Tom, ready for tomorrow?

  I’m always ready, anytime, and for anything.

  We’ll see how ready you are tomorrow, Sam said. We’re going to be on the road before the sun comes up. You’ve been bending your arm a lot today. How much did you drink? Sure you can wake up?

  Don’t worry about me. I’ll be up before the sun.

  Sam looked at Tom. The guy’s got a hollow leg, he thought. Drinks and drinks, and never seems to get plastered. The engine revved, and the car sailed down the street. It was late, and the town was quiet as they headed for the hotel.

  This town’s got a funny feel to it, Sam said. Don’t you think?

  You’re reading my mind, Lori said.

  What do you mean? Tom asked.

  Can’t really put my finger on it. Just have a gut feeling, Sam said. It’s probably just my imagination.

  Feeling tells you what’s happening around you, Tom said. You’re figuring out what’s real, and what’s not real.

  Maybe I need to drink more like you, Sam said.

  Imagination can be a very strong gauge for what’s going to happen, Tom said. What do think will happen?

  How am I supposed to know? Sam said. I’m not a fortune-teller. I’d like to know the future, but I don’t.

  You don’t have to be a fortune-teller. You already know, but can’t access the information because you need a guide to show you what, and where, the information is.

  Wait a minute, Sam said. Now what are you talking about? Guide? What kind of guide? What are you saying, th
at you’re a guide?

  No, not a guide, Tom said. I’m just an observer that steps in occasionally to lend a hand. This is your show. How about you, Lori, want be Sam’s guide?

  I was on the highway hitching, remember? Lori said. Don’t know how good of a guide I’d make.

  He stopped to pick you up, didn’t he? Tom said. It was his choice. No one forced him to do it. I was in the car, so I know. He could have driven by.

  So, stopping for Lori was planned by me because she’s supposed to be my guide?

  You made the choice, not me, not anyone else.

  I seem to remember you talking about Lori when we first saw her on the highway. You wanted to stop as much as me.

  Hey! What did you guys say before you picked me up?

  I can’t remember exactly, but Tom described you very distinctly.

  I tell it like it is, Tom said.

  We both said you are a knockout, Sam said. And tomorrow, if you’re in some of the shots for the magazine, who knows, when it’s published, maybe you’ll be a famous star.

  What about me? Tom asked. Will I be famous?

  Stranger things have happened, Sam said. This could be your big break, you old coot. Maybe you’ll be signing autographs soon and doing Shakespeare.

  Sam pulled up to the hotel and parked. Here we are, safe and sound.

  Sam and Lori, stared at each other. They both wanted to say something, but for some reason didn’t because Tom was there. Then, they were startled, and the quiet moment was broken by a rapping on Sam’s window. Standing there with a serious look on his face looking into the window was the hotel clerk. He raised his hand, and tapped on the window again.

  Sam rolled it down. Hi, what’s going on?

  Just thought I should let you know that there was a guy here a little while ago. He asked about you and your friends.

  Acting nonchalant, Sam asked, What guy, and what did he want to know? What did he look like?

  He was just average, but kind of creepy and grubby looking. He asked a lot of questions. Wanted to know your names, how long you were staying, your room numbers. Do you know him? What’s this about? Why is he asking all the questions?

  Did he tell you his name? Sam asked.

  That’s the funny part, because the first thing he said was, my name’s Holiday.

  Lori’s face went pale, like her blood had been sucked out by a vampire. He knows where we are, she whispered.

  How the hell did he find out where we were staying? Sam muttered.

  Did he say anything else, Lori asked.

  No, not that I remember, at least nothing important.

  Thanks for letting us know, Sam said.

  Who is he? the clerk asked.

  A guy who’s been following us.

  Following you? What does he want?

  We’re not sure.

  He has to be following you for some reason.

  We picked him up, and gave him a ride yesterday. There were some problems, so we dumped him. I guess he’s following us to get even. Pissed about it.

  If he causes any problems I can call the sheriff.

  That’s up to you. Like I said, we had some trouble with him. If you call the police, maybe he’ll come after you. Say, if you see him again, let me know, okay?

  Alright, but if he does anything crazy around here, I’m calling the police, the hotel clerk said, and walked back into the office.

  What is it with Holiday? Sam said. How does he get around so fast? How did he find us? It’s like he knows what we’re going to do before we do it

  Maybe he does, Tom said.

  How’s that possible? Sam asked, then opened the car door and got out. Let’s go to my room and figure this out.

  BREAK IN

  Sam unlocked, opened, then walked into the dark hotel room. He stopped, and said, Where’s that light switch? Lori waited for her eyes to adjust, not moving a muscle. After the light came on she screamed.

  Holiday must have been in here, Sam said.

  Bags and clothes were tossed everywhere, drawers were half open, and in the closet more clothes had been piled in a rag-tag manner.

  Sam rushed into the room. My cameras! Damn, he said, then checked the bags muttering, I hope nothing’s been stolen or broken.

  I wonder if anything’s missing, Lori asked.

  He must have just been here, Tom said.

  Lori and Tom watched Sam re-arrange, and re-pack his camera gear. He carefully put everything back into the cases, and said, It looks like it’s all here. Nothing seems to be gone, just messed up. Should we tell the hotel clerk?

  It’s up to you, Tom said.

  What does he want? Sam asked. What’s he looking for?

  He wants me, Lori said. I’ll go meet him and tell him to leave you guys out of this.

  We don’t know that, Tom said. I think it’s because we left him in the woods and he wants payback.

  Maybe he was looking for money, Sam said. But then, why didn’t he take anything when he could sell my gear for a lot of money? Whatever he’s looking for is not here. Let’s check your room, Lori, to see if he was there. I’ll look through my stuff later to see if anything’s missing.

  I’ll wait here, Tom said.

  They walked to the other room moving quietly, trying not to make any noise. Sam grabbed the doorknob, and slowly turned it. He was here too, Sam said as he opened the door wide enough to see that Lori’s room had been turned over upside down. Sam scanned the room, then went in followed by Lori. She looked over the room, and began picking up her clothes and the rest of her things that were scattered around.

  What do you think, Lori? Does it look like anything’s gone?

  Don’t think so, she replied. Even if there is something missing, I don’t have anything valuable.

  What’s he looking for? Sam asked.

  Lori looked surprised. What would he be looking for? I don’t have anything, she repeated. I think he’s just trying to scare us, especially me.

  And, doing a spectacular job, Sam said.

  When I was a little kid, and afraid, I’d sleep with the light on; maybe I will tonight.

  Sam found a journal in the bathroom, and handed it to Lori. If you want, you can stay with us in our room tonight.

  I don’t know, you’ve already paid for the room, Lori said, quickly taking the notebook from Sam and putting it into her bag.

  Yeah, I know, but it’s okay if you don’t feel comfortable staying here.

  I’ll be fine. He’s not coming back here tonight. Don’t think he will, anyway.

  We’ll help clean up?

  Don’t worry about it, she said. Go make sure your camera gear is all there. That’s more important, and you’re right next door. I’ll yell or bang on the wall if I need anything.

  Okay, Lori, Sam said. I’ll go and check our room again. I’ll be back, or you come over when you finish.

  Lori walked over to Sam. I’ll be alright. Don’t worry.

  Okay I’ll make sure I have everything ready for tomorrow. It’s going to be an important day. Sam stepped out of Lori’s room, but turned one last time and smiled. It’ll be okay.

  When he got back to his room, Tom was sprawled out on the bed drinking whisky, not a care in the world, at least that’s what it looked liked to Sam.

  How are you feeling?

  Oh, you know, letting it slide. Can’t do anything tonight, so might as well just relax. I’ll give you a hand if you want, but I wouldn’t know what, or if, anything’s missing. It’s better if you check it yourself, right? I’ll stay out of your way.

  Yeah, don’t worry about it. Why don’t you talk to Lori, she might need some help.

  I’ll mosey over to her room right now.

  Give her a few minutes to put her things away.

  Okay, I’ll finish my drink first, then head over, Tom said. We’ve go to keep an eye out tonight for that sneaky bastard.

  Yeah, Sam said, he’s a ghost. Maybe, that’s all we are, Sam thought. Ghosts, floating around bu
mping into others sometimes getting caught in dire situations, or hoping to get lucky, and find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Life is so random, and everyone is on their own path searching, building a life to some end. Some help others without any qualms, a few exploiting the system for all its worth. Why do some people fall into such good fortune, and others experience bleak dark pits? Black holes with no escape, just hopelessness with an end that comes slow, sure, and final, without warning. We just wake up one day, maybe one last time, and the show’s over.

  Years ago, but feels like yesterday. I was ten, playing with my dog, Buster, walking along the river watching it flow to unknown places. A river is like a person’s life flowing, twisting, twirling, and meandering without control into one pool. Mixing and starting all over again.

  It feels just like yesterday when I rode my bicycle home from school. Made new fiends on the way, discovered some new information or unknown talent I didn’t know I had. Started working, started making money, spending money, and saving money, and always finding something to buy.

  Building something from nothing, then throwing it all away. No direction, and all hope lost. That’s how I feel now with Holiday creeping closer, that he’ll swallow and devour us. How does he keep showing up, then disappearing, leaving nothing behind. Where did he come from? Who is he? What does he want

  REAL WORLD

  Tom watched Sam stare straight ahead, his eyes open, then he snapped from his deep thoughts. Okay, Tom said, I’ll take a walk and check around the hotel, then look in on Lori. See you over in her room.

  Yeah, wait for me there, Sam said. I’m almost finished putting everything away.

  Tom closed the door to the room. Standing outside for a moment he scanned the dimly lit parking lot, then looked up at the few lonely stars visible above. He sniffed the air like a bloodhound hot on a trail, picking up the scent of an animal hidden behind a curtain of darkness. Holiday was out there lurking, biding his time, planning, scheming, and looking for a weakness to exploit.

  The highway was quiet with hardly any traffic until a motorcycle cruised by. Then a van with the windows down and the volume up, with Neil Young’s song “My My Hey Hey” piercing the calm night as it sailed by. Then, after hearing a rumble from down the road, a blast of wind from an eighteen-wheeler raised the roadside dirt. It sent twisting clouds of dust floating across the parking lot into a small playground. Empty swings rocked and squeaked in dissonant ghostly metal on metal tones. Tom turned to the left after hearing a car door slam, and watched a heavy-set man walk into the hotel’s office. Holiday’s presence was becoming more powerful, he seemed to be everywhere, know everything, and in time, would become unstoppable. I’ve got to protect Sam, and get rid of Holiday for good. Now, I know how, he thought, and it might be the last chance. It’s why I’m here, to bring Sam back, if that’s what he wants, back to the real world. But I need help. Lori, he mumbled. Lori knows, and she can help.