Before the Fall

by L. G. Castillo

  “My heart belongs to you. I cannot fathom a life without you in it. It tears me apart, the thought of living so close to you and not being able to touch you.

  “Of speaking to you and seeing your lips.” Her fingers traced his mouth, making him shiver. “And not being able to kiss you.

  “Of seeing you one day married to another and holding her instead of me.” She placed her head on his chest. “And knowing that the race of your beating heart was because of someone else and not...” She took a shaky breath. “me.”

  She tore herself away from him and walked a few steps, her shoulders shaking.

  “Naomi, please don’t cry. We will be together. I will find a away.”

  She turned to him, her eyes filled with tears as she reached out to cup his face. “I care not if my father has promised me in marriage to Jeremiel. My love for you will never die.”

  “My sweet Naomi. Your love gives me strength.”

  As he gazed into her pale blue eyes, it was at that moment he knew what he had to do. It was the only hope for them.

  He placed his hands over hers, turned his head, and kissed each of her palms. “I shall plead with my father to give half the herd on my behalf so that I may have your hand in marriage. I care not what he does with me so long as I can be with you.”

  “And if he says no?”

  He let out a breath. Deep inside, he knew there was little chance that his father would agree. And he had no idea how Jeremiel would handle his request. He held on to the hope that if his father wouldn’t see reason, perhaps his brother would.

  What if he didn’t? Could he do what he needed to do to be with Naomi?

  His eyes searched her face. Love was written all over it. Yes, he could.

  “Then we shall leave this place. Will you go with me? Can you leave your sisters, your family, and join me?”

  “Yes,” she said without any hesitation. “I cannot bear to be without you.”

  “Then I shall fight for you. I’ll never stop fighting for you.”

  “Nor I you.”

  22

  Uriel sprinted through the courtyard. There was a chorus of voices as he ran through the crowd of angels gathered in there. He knew they were shocked to see him. He was surprised himself.

  He had left before Lucifer did his work on Jether. He couldn’t bear to stay and watch evil being breathed to life by someone who was once favored in all of Heaven. With every hour that passed, he could feel the evil crawl further up his skin and further into his soul, sucking out his life’s core.

  When he had asked for permission to leave, Lucifer had waved him away, obviously assuming he was going after Jeremiel and Lahash. He had run as fast as he could through the valley in the direction of Raphael’s home.

  He’d had no intention of even attempting to get Jeremiel and Lahash. He was thankful that Lucifer was arrogant enough to believe he would do as commanded without question. As soon as he had felt he was far enough away from Lucifer and his minions, he had done what he hadn’t in what seemed like a long time. He had transformed into his angelic body, spread out his wings, and taken flight.

  As he ran down the angel-filled corridors, he listened for Michael and Gabrielle. He had to warn them about Lucifer.

  “Uriel?”

  A soft voice echoed in the vast hall. He would recognize that voice anywhere. It was the voice of reason. The voice that made him feel like there was no other in Heaven or Earth like him.

  The eyes of a dozen angels stared at him as he turned to face the owner of the voice. They whispered frantically to each other as they watched him.

  He gazed into a pair of big brown eyes in a heart-shaped face. It was like he was looking at her for the first time. Those eyes, the same eyes that haunted him in his sleep. They held a love for him that he couldn’t understand. Why after all this time was he just now seeing it?

  “Rachel,” he breathed.

  The angels’ whispers grew louder as he stared at Rachel.

  “Do you know how long she waited for him to return?”

  “She even went down to look for him!”

  “She has never gotten in trouble before. Never.”

  “Poor Rachel. How can she love someone like him? He is one of the fallen.”

  His heart caught in his throat. Was what they were saying true? Was it possible that sweet Rachel, the one who obeyed every command of her superiors, had disobeyed them . . . for him?

  Every angel in the corridor looked from her to him, wondering what she would do.

  “You’re back,” she said. There was a question in her simple statement, almost as if she was afraid to hope that his return was permanent.

  “Yes. I am.” He walked to her. “Is there a place we can talk?” He glanced around at the other angels and threw them a glare. “Alone?”

  They scattered away. Good. They should mind their own business.

  She nodded. “The Room of Offerings is empty.”

  When they reached the room, he stood to the side, holding the door open. He felt her hesitation. The last time he was in that room he’d been trying to convince Gabrielle to join him. Then, when Rachel had come, he had seen the look in her eyes. She hadn’t wanted him to leave. There was a small voice deep inside of him that hadn’t wanted to go either. He wondered what it would be like now if he had stayed. Would he be closer to her? Would she finally see him for what he truly was . . . a selfish bastard?

  What had he done instead? He had joked about it. At least he had told her that he’d miss her. And then, as he had been about to step out the door, she had been going to say something important to him. And for that brief moment, he had hoped she would be the one to say it because he was too afraid. When she hadn’t, he hadn’t been able to help but feel the ache of disappointment. He should have known. It was better that he had left. She was better off without him.

  And now, he stood in the center of the Room of Offerings with Rachel’s back to him. He wondered if he could leave her again. He had been a fool to do so the first time, even if he was not worthy of her.

  He stared at the long dark hair draped over her delicate shoulders. He longed to run his hands through it and to hold her in his arms.

  Her tiny shoulders shook.

  “Rachel?”

  Slowly, she turned to face him, her eyes red-rimmed. Her breathing was ragged as if she was trying to control it.

  “I . . . I can’t believe you are here. Are you . . . are you here to stay?”

  Her big brown eyes searched his face. There was a hidden meaning behind those words. It was not really what she wanted to ask him. Her eyes wanted to know if he came back for her. Did he want to be with her?

  “Uriel, there is something I’ve been meaning to tell you. I should have told you a long time ago, but I was—”

  In three determined steps, he shortened the distance between them. His hands cupped her cheeks and he ducked his head. His lips swept over hers in a kiss so pure, that he thought his heart would burst. Who would have thought he was capable of innocent love?

  Soft hands swept up his chest and wrapped around his neck as she deepened his kiss. The taste of her lips mixed with salty tears swirled on his lips as he kissed her.

  “Does that answer your question?” His voice was a husky whisper.

  “Question?”

  He chuckled as he kissed the tip of her nose. Placing his forehead on hers, he sighed. “I am a fool, Rachel. A selfish, blind fool. I have done everything wrong. You are all that is good, and I took your love for granted. Not anymore. Will you . . . could you ever forgive me?”

  Pain-stricken eyes locked with his. “You hurt me.”

  “I know,” his voice croaked. “I deserve no less than a thousand lashes for each stupid thing I did that caused you pain.”

  He looked at her with determination. “Know this, Rachel. I will do everything in my power to show you how much I love you. Yes, Rachel, I love you. I’ve never felt this way before about anyone. Not here, not on Earth. I�
�ll prove my love for you in any way I can. I want to be the kind of angel that is worthy of your love. I have no right to ask you this but as I said, I’m selfish. I want to be with you—to love you. That is, if you’ll have me.”

  Tears flowed even harder and she nodded.

  “You’ll have me? You forgive me?”

  “Yes . . . yes. I forgive you. Oh, Uriel. I thought you would never return.”

  He kissed her deeply and held her as tight as he could.

  After a few moments, he heard a deep male voice, clearing his throat.

  Uriel turned to see Michael standing at the entrance, wearing a stern expression on his face.

  Immediately, he let go of Rachel and took a step away from her. He didn’t want her to get hurt in all of this. He had harmed her enough. The mess he had made with Lucifer, being the one to assist him in creating an army to rule over the humans, was not something that he wanted her involved in.

  Gabrielle appeared next to Michael. “Uriel. I was surprised to hear of your return.”

  Uriel blinked with surprise when he saw Gabrielle. She looked so different. Her face had lost its softness. There was a hardened edge to it that hadn’t been there before.

  “I have seen the error in my ways. And I’ve returned to beg forgiveness from those I have hurt.” He glanced down at Rachel. “And to share with you information about Lucifer.”

  He took a deep breath. “Lucifer wants to rule over Earth. He is taking Nephilim and humans and creating his army.”

  Rachel gasped. He wanted to go back to her and comfort her. He couldn’t. He had made a mess of his life and he had to set it straight.

  Michael had a strange expression on his face. His brown eyes scrutinized him for a moment as if waiting for him to say more.

  “And the reason I know this is because I...” he glanced at Rachel. What would she think of him when she found out? “I helped him.”

  “No,” Rachel said in a low whisper.

  He swallowed thickly. “Yes, I did. I followed Lucifer blindly. When he invited me to Earth with him, I did not question him. He promised me the free will to live my life as I chose. I never questioned him no matter what he asked of me.

  “I take full responsibility for my actions. Deep inside of me, I knew he was up to something devious. Yet still I followed for my own selfishness.”

  He then got down on bended knee at Michael’s feet and bowed his head. “I can only beg forgiveness and for the opportunity to make right what has been wronged.”

  He sobbed. The heaviness in his chest was at its fullest point. This was what it felt like to feel his sin. They had every reason to ban him from Heaven. Where years before he was so desperate to leave, now he would do anything to be back home again.

  Michael placed a hand on his head. “Uriel, you have always had free will.”

  “I didn’t see that before.” He raised his head and gazed into Michael’s soulful brown eyes. “I can see that now.”

  “You have chosen to come back at great cost to you, haven’t you, Uriel?” Michael helped him back to his feet. “You risked the wrath of The Most High for being unfaithful and following another. You risked being shunned by all those who love you.”

  “Yes,” Uriel croaked, keeping his head down.

  Michael placed a finger under his chin and lifted it. “And you risked your own life to tell us this information. If Lucifer catches you...”

  He studied Michael’s face. He knew about Lucifer. “You knew.”

  “Knew what?” Gabrielle asked.

  “Lucifer’s plans for creating an army on Earth. He wants to rule humans and make himself a god,” Michael said.

  Gabrielle looked at him with surprise. “Why didn’t you say anything about this before?”

  “I needed to know how truly repentant Uriel was before I could give him his duty.” He turned back to Uriel and smiled. “As I said, we all have a choice. You chose to acknowledge your mistakes and to ask forgiveness when you could have given us the information without taking responsibility.”

  “That’s because there is good in him,” Rachel said, placing a hand on his arm. “His heart always belonged here. It just took him some time to see it.”

  Uriel brushed a finger over her cheek. “Thank you . . . for believing in me even when I couldn’t believe in myself.”

  Gabrielle cleared her throat. “You mentioned Uriel’s task.”

  “Whatever it is, I am ready to do as you wish.”

  “It has not gone unnoticed by humans, the growing number of Nephilim and fallen angels roaming the Earth,” Michael said. “A warrior by the name of Joshua has been gathering an army in the hopes of destroying them and those that harbor them.”

  “How is that possible?” Rachel asked. “Angels can be injured but they can’t be killed.”

  “Anything is possible, Rachel, when He is on their side. I have been ordered to assist Joshua’s army. Gabrielle and I will see to Lucifer and his closest followers. Joshua’s army of thirty-thousand will take care of the rest.”

  “Thirty thousand? Did you say thirty thousand?” Uriel asked, astonished.

  “Yes, and your task is to assist Joshua,” Michael said. “Joshua will be sending spies to each city that is known to harbor the fallen in order to assist the army in their surprise attack. Your job is to help the spies.”

  “I can do that.”

  “We shall start with the city of Ai and then move on to Jericho.”

  “Raphael,” Gabrielle’s voice was barely above a whisper but it echoed in the room.

  Michael turned to her with a sad expression on his face.

  She looked at him. Her blank face was now alarmed with worry. “What about Raphael? What will become of him?”

  “I know not. All I am told is that all that are within the city gates shall be destroyed.”

  Gabrielle let out a breath of relief. “They live outside the city. He’ll be all right. I’m sure he will.”

  Uriel looked at her as she continued to mumble to herself as if convincing herself that nothing would happen to Raphael. He glanced back at Michael. The expression on his face told him that Raphael might not get off as easy as Gabrielle was thinking. Between Uriel and Raphael, it was Raphael that deserved to be forgiven. He had stayed for love of Rebecca, whereas it had been pure selfishness on Uriel’s part.

  “Perhaps this will be all that is needed for him to be convinced to return,” she said to Michael.

  “Perhaps. Although I am surprised that he has not as of yet returned of his own free will.”

  He turned to Uriel. “You must go into the Judean desert. There you will find Joshua’s army. You must go in your human form. Tell them you are sent by The Most High. Tell Joshua that He is on their side and they have nothing to fear. Then help the spies find their way into Ai.”

  “Thank you, Michael,” Uriel said. “I won’t let you down. This is the least I can do for failing Him and . . . Rachel.”

  “No, wait. You can’t,” Rachel said. “Please Michael, give him another task. I can help the spies.”

  “Rachel!” Uriel said with surprise.

  She looked up at him with a scared look on her face. “Lucifer and his men will be looking for you. If you’re in your human form, others will be able to see you and you will be easily seen. The people in Ai look up to Lucifer and would do anything to help him.”

  “You were in the city. You were at the games,” Uriel said.

  Her cheeks reddened. “I missed you. I couldn’t help myself.”

  The angel gossip was right. She had broken the rules just to see him.

  He pulled her into his chest and kissed the top of her head. “Rachel, I promise to be very careful. I’m sure everything will go smoothly. You have nothing to fear.”

  He looked at the expression on Michael’s and Gabrielle’s faces and his heart sank. The mission wasn’t going to be easy. And if he got caught, there was even less of a chance that they would go to get him. Not with Michael and Gabrielle
battling Lucifer. And as for the other angels, they would not go without Michael or Gabrielle at their side.

  He let out a shaky breath. If anyone should be placed at risk in this mission, it should be him. It was the least he could do to atone for what he had done.

  “There is much we need to do in preparation,” Michael said. “Rachel, I could use your assistance.”

  “Of course,” she said, pulling back from Uriel.

  “Wait,” Uriel cupped her face and looked at her intently. This might be the last time he would ever see her. He didn’t want to make the same mistake twice. “I love you.”

  “I love you.”

  He kissed her lips gently.

  “Come, Rachel. Gabrielle. There is much that needs to be done.” Rachel took one last look at Uriel before she glided out the door.

  “Gabrielle, may I have a moment with you?” Uriel asked.

  She turned to Michael. He nodded before giving him one last look.

  “I’m not coming back, am I?” He asked when Michael closed the door.

  “You heard what Michael said. Neither of us knows that.”

  “I do. I can feel it.”

  “Uriel...”

  “Promise me, Gabrielle. Promise me that you will watch over Rachel for me.”

  “Don’t speak such nonsense.”

  “Please, Gabrielle. Just say you will watch over her. It would ease my mind if I knew that you would be here for her if something . . . if something happens to me.”

  Gabrielle sighed. Her green eyes looked into his. “You have my word.”

  23

  Lahash tore off a piece of flatbread and popped it into his mouth. Chewing slowly, he focused on Jeremiel and his father as they discussed the transfer of part of the herd to Gideon’s possession. He could feel his mother’s eyes on him as he ate his morning meal.

  Stay calm. Don’t look at her, he thought.

  He understood why his mother had given in to Jeremiel’s betrothal to Naomi. She had always followed the law of the land. The only time she’d broken it was when she left her family to be with Raphael instead of Baka. He could tell that it still hurt her to be shunned by her own family.